


Let Me Love the Lonely

by alwaysbringbackup_03



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A fic where Alex Danvers is the biggest Supercorp shipper of them all!, Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Loss of Parent(s), Maybe something more?, Some angst, Super-friends Alliance, SuperCorp, mentions of Sanvers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:16:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 112,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysbringbackup_03/pseuds/alwaysbringbackup_03
Summary: When Kara loses her foster father after losing so many others, she begins to spiral down into the deepest of depressions. The people who love Kara most, can do little to stop her fall. They watch as she throws herself into her role as Supergirl, while neglecting the part of her that is Kara Danvers. When Lena rescues Kara from a night out it results in Lena learning the truth of Supergirl's real identity. She vows to help in any way she can, in order to keep Kara and Supergirl alive.This story starts out with mutual pining from afar, but progresses into something else. I'm sorry that the summary kind of sucks. Please give the story a chance!





	1. Let Me Love the Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any part of the Supergirl universe, or the Arrow-verse. All writing is done purely for recreational purposes only, and is not for profit!

To the millions of the people who called National City home, Kara knows that today could be considered an ordinary day late in September, but for Kara Danvers, it honestly felt as if the world might be ending. The only reason that the day was noteworthy at all, is because it was uncommonly warm for the time of year, and the sky was a perfect, radiant sapphire blue. Few clouds dotted the horizon, but the ones that did were turning beautiful shades of pink, red, orange, and purple. The sun was dipping low over the horizon, surrendering its place in the sky, and Kara could feel its warmth as if it was a gentle caress. It honestly felt as real to her as a kiss on her cheek might have. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to matter that the sun was shining brightly and the day was beautiful. The mood of all of those in the cemetery, and Kara, is somber. While the priest continues his eulogy, Kara lets her eyes drift upwards, as if peering into the heavens. She struggles to find comfort - tries to tell herself that he is in a better place now, one without pain and suffering. Still, she finds none. Krypton is gone, another member of her family is gone, and she can't reconcile the pain and anger that she feels in her heart.

Kara's eyes move back towards the gravesite, and take in the neat sprawl of white chairs that contrast wildly against the green grass. Kara stares straight ahead, her blank, glassy stare aimlessly drifting around the cemetery before her. She can feel a shiver work its way across her shoulders as they move over a row of pristine white marble crosses. She can hear the faint snare drums echoing softly throughout the otherwise silent cemetery, and Kara closes her eyes, training herself to hear its beautiful cadence. Its so far away, that she knows that she is the only one who could possibly hear it - can appreciate it for its beauty. Kara's eyes open, and she feels her throat start to close up on her suddenly as she meets Clark's gaze from across the grave. He hadn't been standing there just a moment ago, but Kara knows that he came to pay his respects - for however briefly. Clark credits Jeremiah with helping him learn to control his powers, and Kara knows that he loved the man like a father, too. And as they often pointed out to one another, blood bonds them all.

Loss. It is defined as the process of losing something or someone. There hasn’t been a single person born on this planet in the course of its history that has ever been able to escape its clutches. We will all lose our loved ones; we will all lose our friends, and ultimately _ourselves_. Most of us will have to endure far too much. And yet, none of us will know what it means to lose in the way Kara Zor-El has. After all, she is one of the last survivors of Krypton - a planet that no longer exists. She lost most of her family, and her planet on the **_same_** day. And as if that weren’t enough, she’d been forced to give up her purpose, and had been forced to take up another in its place. The future she’d dreamed of as a child had been tossed by the wayside, in exchange for another that she in no way wanted. And you would think that after all that she has sacrificed, and all that she has willingly given to the people of earth, that she would finally –finally – be given a short reprieve. But, I’m sorry to say, you would be wrong.

For the officers of the DEO, they are no strangers to it. Over the course of the last couple years, they’d seen the very worst befall humanity. From the near implementation of Myriad, to the Daxamite invasion, they had lost too many of their own number – too many good men and women. But perhaps, the loss of Jeremiah Danvers stung worse than them all. 

Even with the warm sun on her skin, Kara cannot quite appreciate the beauty of the world around her. She feels cold, empty. The rich green of the grass, the clear blue of the sky, the flowers blooming all around them are all lost on her, and are overshadowed by something else. Her heart aches unbearably. Sure, her legs are grounded, but her mind is elsewhere. Her mind is with the dead today - with her parents, and Jeremiah, and even Astra and Non. Her mind is with Mon-El, and as much as she tries not to think about it, she can't help but wonder where he is now. Is he alive? The voice of the priest calls her back from her thoughts, as he speaks to the sort of man Jeremiah was, and surrenders him back to be claimed by the earth.

Kara feels emotion well up in her throat, as the man slowly starts the crank, and she watches his flag draped casket slowly lowered inch by inch into the ground. She can hear the faint clicks as the pulley system is slowly unwound. Kara blinks back tears, and struggles desperately not to cry. However, it is a losing battle. Because this man was her father – the father that she never thought she’d have after losing her own on Krypton, and now he was gone. He was gone, and it was absolutely ripping her apart. 

 _Cold bones. Yeah, that's my love_  
_She hides away, like a ghost_

As Kara looks up from the casket, for the briefest of moments her eyes find Lena's eyes waiting for her own. Kara's breath hitches in her throat, as she tries to focus her attention elsewhere. It’s starting to irritate her, the way that Lena has kept her bright green eyes hidden behind a pair of absurdly expensive sunglasses. In her opinion, the sunglasses seem to serve as a shield in order to distance Lena from the rest of the world. She wields it as such, anyways. But if Lena had really come here for her - to lend Kara her support - then why wouldn't she let Kara in? They haven’t spoken words. They haven’t spent so much as a single moment alone with one another - in weeks. And now all of their conversations seemed to be held in pointed glances. Kara stares back at her and silently wonders if her friend will ever forgive her for shutting her out after what happened with Mon-El.

Kara feels her breath stutter to a halt in her lungs, as Eliza’s head drops onto her shoulder. She can feel her mother’s choked breaths, as the matron struggles not to lose herself to grief. And Kara has to squeeze her eyes shut for a moment, in order to fight back the tears of her own that were about to escape. Kara gives her mother a one armed hug and tries to help her through the worst of it, but it seems as if she were completely powerless. There is no escaping the grief now. It is upon them, and it will not yield. They’d all lost a huge part of their lives, one that they could never get back. Kara is close to falling apart herself, but she knows that she has to be strong for her family. She can’t afford to break down now. After all, she's supposed to be the strong one. She's the one everyone has their eyes on. At the very least, she owes it to the Danvers to be their rock - as they had once been for her. Kara kept telling herself that she just had to hold herself together for a little longer. After all, she can allow herself fall apart later, when no one else is around to see it. But she _had_ to do this for them. Kara lets out a soft breath, as the casket finishes its decent into the earth with a final click. She knows it is time to step forwards, but she can't bring herself to move just yet.

She feels like she's ruined it. She's ruined everything - the best thing she's ever had, and no matter how hard she tries, she knows that she can't put her family back together. A puzzle piece is missing.

 _Does she know that we bleed the same?_  
_Don't wanna cry but I break that way_  

“Kara? It's time,” she can hear Eliza's soft voice call out from beside her. It sounds distant and muffled - almost as if the words are passing through a thin film of water before finally reaching her ears. Kara feels as if she's been submerged in water. Kara shakes her head gently, and clenches her jaw. She can feel Alex’s hand in her own, and gives it a gentle squeeze, as she fights back her own emotions. Kara turns towards where she knows her foster sister to be standing, but is unable to catch her sister's gaze because Alex is facing Maggie, her fiance. Kara finds Maggie's gaze, instead. A look of understanding passes between them, and Maggie leans sideways in order to whisper something in Alex's ear.

 _"She needs a minute,"_ Kara hears Maggie tell her. 

One thing that Maggie knew well, was that Kara Danvers often wore her heart on her sleeve. And as much as Kara was trying to hide the pain she feels, Maggie still seems able to pick up on it in a single glance. Kara squeezes her eyes shut, momentarily steeling herself against all thought and emotion, and after a long battle, is finally able to compose herself. Kara can only imagine how it must look to the Detective, as her expression becomes empty, stoic, and expressionless. A heartbeat later, and Kara tears her eyes away from the pair. Kara's eyes, which are typically a bright, vibrant hue of blue, suddenly became like icy steel. Finally, she relinquishes her hold on her mother, and steps forwards. Together, she and Alex walk the several steps forwards and pick up the shovels that are waiting for them in the dirt. Kara plucks hers out of the pile at the grave-side, watching as Alex, too, picks up her own. All eyes watch silently, as they each lift a shovelful from the pile, and drop it down onto the waiting casket, six feet below. The thud of the dirt on the hollow casket sounds like thunder to Kara’s ears, and the blonde wishes that she had never heard such a sound, because she _knows_ that she will _never_ be able to _forget_   _it_. Kara loses herself in the repetitiveness of it all, grabbing shovelful after shovelful from the pile beside her, before dropping it onto the casket in front of her. As she watches the dirt begin to cover the fine cherry wood of the casket, Kara can't stop the first tears from falling. She wishes that she could find _something_ to offer her comfort, because at the moment, the crushing weight in her chest seems to be overwhelming.

As if granting her wish, Lena reaches up to remove her sunglasses. And Kara has to cheat - she has to look up in order to see her, but she does it anyways. Today, the shade of Lena's green eyes is as rich and vibrant as the grass below Kara's feet. They are accentuated by the bright sunlight, and Kara finds herself unable to look away. Lena catches Kara at it, and the blonde feels slightly ashamed as a flush works its way slowly up her neck and onto her cheeks. Kara tears her eyes away, looking back to the ever-shrinking pile of dirt at her feet. 

 _Cold sheets. Oh, where's my love?_  
_I am searching high, I'm searching low in the night_  

“Kara,” she vaguely hears her sister’s voice call out from beside her, as she grabs another shovelful.

“Kara!” Kara would have kept going and going, had she not felt Jonn’s touch upon her shoulder. She glances up then, and turns, meeting the eyes of a man who she has also come to care about like a father. Kara suddenly notices that Alex is still and motionless beside her, looking at Kara with a dazed, almost disbelieving expression on her face. And Kara finally understands. She had been supposed to stop. She should have stopped after the first shovelful. 

“I’m -” Kara honestly doesn't know how to finish that thought. She is lost. She feels utterly and completely lost. This is foreign to her. She just doesn't know what she is supposed to do. How was she supposed to fill the void of the things she’d lost? How was she supposed to deal with the loss of Jeremiah? Of her parents? Of Mon-El?

“I’m sorry,” Kara says finally, more than a little breathlessly, as she carelessly drops the shovel to the ground, abandoning it. She quickly turns away, meeting Eliza’s eyes, and she has to choke back the sound that threatens to escape her own throat while the emotions ripped her heart to shreds. “I'm so sorry. Please, excuse me,” Kara asks those in attendance, as she quickly pushes her way through the crowd, and takes off at a fast clip. She seems completely unaware of the pair of bright green eyes that follow her hasty retreat.

  
_Does she know that we bleed the same?_  
_Don't wanna cry but I break that way_

  
_Did she run away?_  
_Did she run away? I don't know_  
_If she ran away_  
_If she ran away, come back home_  
_Just come home_  

Kara feels her lungs burn furiously, as she sprints through the grounds of National City’s expansive cemetery. Her heavy footfalls come far too quickly for a normal human, but Kara - Kara doesn't seem to notice. She runs as far, and as fast as she possibly can through the grass without leaving the cemetery grounds. Kara chokes back a sob, as she stumbles past a marble obelisk near the cemetery’s perimeter, turns, and only barely manages to avoid knocking over a heavy marble headstone. All the headstones suddenly seem to be closing in on her, and for a moment Kara feels dizzy as she whirls around, startling a nearby bird. She suddenly becomes overwhelmed as she struggles to make heads or tails of her hero-like senses. Kara clamps her hands over her ears, as the flapping of the bird's wings sounds like cracks of thunder to her hypersensitive hearing. She closes her eyes, as the sun, too, begins to seem far too bright for her eyes. She is honestly afraid that her heat vision is about to ignite if she opens them again, so she keeps them squeezed shut. Tears begin to build in her eyes, causing them to burn underneath her eyelids. Kara loses her battle for control of her emotions, and drops to her knees in the dirt. She surrenders completely. Kara's breaths falter, and she suddenly struggles to breathe. Kara lets out a sound of fear, and of mourning, as she rocks back and forth on her knees under a tall oak tree. She can feel the tears cascading down her cheeks, and as much as she tries to stop them, she can not. Kara shifts, feeling her dress tear as she pushes the stitching just a little too far past its breaking point.

“Kara?” Lena calls out into the silence of the cemetery. Her gaze moves around aimlessly, brushing over tombstones with the lightest of glances, as she searches desperately and exhaustively for her best friend. It seems like hours have gone by, before she finally happens upon her.

Lena lets out a muffled curse as her heel catches on a nearby tree root, and snaps clean off in its unforgiving clutches. With an aggravated growl, Lena wrenches the offending heel from her foot, and tosses it away. She is just about to set off again, when she hears it. Lena turns then, and feels her breath come to a stop in her lungs as her eyes find Kara there, on her knees in the mud. The blonde’s dress, once pristine and pure, now looks a hell of a mess. It is torn in at least one place, and is covered in speckles of dirt. Still, Kara looks stunningly beautiful, as the sun reflects off of golden strands, making them twinkle and sparkle in the waning sunlight.

Lena starts to take a step forwards, but hesitates at the last moment, momentarily torn with indecision. She wants desperately to help Kara, but a large part of her is afraid that she simply doesn't know how. After all, she’d grown up in an apathetic environment that made situations such as this an impossible mystery. She feels an undeniable affection towards Kara - a love for her even - but she isn't sure how to show it. Finally, Lena clenches her jaw in determination and decides to let instinct drive her actions. She closes the remaining distance between them, and drops down onto her knees in front of Kara, reaching out for the woman she cares about like family.

Kara lets out a gasp, as warm hands gently but persistently tug her hands away from her ears. The blonde’s eyes open, and again Kara’s breaths halt, as her eyes locked onto terra firma shaded orbs. Lena’s eyes are both stunning and familiar to her, and already Kara finds a deep and immense sense of comfort in them. Still, Kara is all too aware that Lena hasn't let go of her hands. She is still holding onto them, and Kara - Kara isn't sure if it is intentional. It seems as if her best friend is trying to make sure Kara can't run away from her again. Kara’s eyes dart down, and Lena seems to notice this for the first time. Reluctantly, she releases Kara's hands, and glances away, hoping that she hasn't made some sort of a mistake. She hopes that she hadn't gone too far.

 _I got a fear, oh, in my blood_  
_She was carried up into the clouds, high above_  

By the time her eyes dart back to Kara’s face, the blonde is hastily and roughly scrubbing the tears from her cheeks with the palm of her hand. Lena notices with a pang of sorrow how Kara’s face seems to color under her scrutiny, and forces herself to look away again. Kara looks devastated, and it hurts Lena that she doesn't know how to help.

“Kara,” Lena says gently, as she tries to catch the shorter woman’s gaze again. Kara lifts a hand to her mouth, as if to hold back a sob, and Lena can feel her heart break. “I’m really not any good at this. Please, tell me what you need. What can I do to help?”

“This may seem like a bit of a strange request, but can I – can I hug you?” Kara stutters, while looking apprehensive. "Cause I could really use a hug right about now."

“Of course you can,” Lena says as if it were practically a given. After all, Kara's hug was one that would never be unwanted. “Come here,” Lena orders her friend, as she opens her arms to her. Lena is surprised at the speed and the force with which Kara catapults herself into Lena’s arms. In fact, Lena lets out a sharp exhale, as the blonde nearly knocks the wind out of her. For some reason, this embrace seems markedly different from any of their other embraces. It feels like there is a lot more riding on this interaction, than mere friendship. Lena squeezes her eyes shut and wraps her best friend in a crushing embrace - never wanting to let go of her. Kara, too, is surprised by the strength with which Lena's arms return the embrace. Lena can feel Kara tuck her face into the crook of her shoulder, and Lena lets out a slow, tremulous breath. 

“I don't know if I've ever told you this before, but you give the _best_ hugs,” Kara tells her gently, and Lena shivers as she feels the ghost of a breath on the bare skin between her neck and shoulder. She knew this was a friendly embrace – a comforting one – but feelings were surging up unbidden inside of her. And much as she tries to tamp them down and ignore it – they continue to swell up, making Lena's heart feel undeniably overrun with affection for the woman in her arms. It hurts. After all, Kara feels nothing towards her outside of friendship. That much is clear. Kara is still mourning the loss of her boyfriend. And Lena – Lena should not be feeling these things for her closest friend.

“I must've learned that from you,” Lena whispers in return, trying desperately to diffuse the tension she is feeling in her body. But she can't help it, Kara is making her into a nervous wreck.

Lena’s heart breaks for her friend, as she feels Kara’s body begin to shake in her hold.

“Hey, please don't cry!" Lena begs her, knowing that she has no chance in hell of holding it together if Kara loses it now.

"Come on, Kara, just breathe with me. It's gonna be okay,” Lena makes a show of taking a deep breath inwards, and then lets it out again. She starts counting breaths with Kara, much in the same way that Alex had once shown Kara how to do when they were younger. Together, Lena gets Kara through the worst of it. Slowly, Lena relinquishes her hold on her best friend. "It's okay. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You're not alone in this, I promise."

“Did you follow me?” Kara questions. Lena doesn't seem to hear her question at first, so Kara repeats the question.

“Of course I did. I - I needed to make sure you were okay,” Lena tells her quietly. “I mean, you looked so upset - so broken, and I just couldn’t bear the thought of you being alone like that. Kara, I’m so so sorry about your foster father. I know how devastated you must feel.” 

 _If you bled, I'll bleed the same_  
_If you're scared, I'm on my way_

“I know - I know you do,” Kara whispers. With a another choked breath, Kara reaches up, and pulls her glasses out of the way so that she can wipe the tears from her eyes with her thumb and forefinger. But while focusing on the ministrations of her one hard, Kara seems to fumble with the item clutched in her other one. Kara's eyes spring open, as she feels her glasses start to fall from her grasp. She tries to stop what is about to happen, but it was already too late. The thin, black frames manage to elude Kara's fingers, slipping right between them, before they finally drop to the ground with a soft, muffled noise. Lena can feel her own breath stick suddenly in her throat as her eyes flit over Kara's face. In that same moment, a gust of wind surges through the cemetery. Small tendrils of the blonde's hair are whipped about her face in the brief tempest, and Lena is momentarily mesmerized. Kara looks so different in that moment, that it looks as if she's a whole other person. Lena swallows thickly, as her eyes dart to the small scar above Kara's left eye.

 _It can't be_ , Lena finds herself denying, as a thought comes unbidden to her mind. But it _was_ nearly _undeniable_. Kara looks so much like Supergirl, in that moment, that Lena is sure. After all, what are the chances that Kara and Supergirl would have a scar like that in _exactly_ the same place?

"Oh gosh," Kara breathes aloud as her hand starts rooting around in the long grass, searching for the thin black frames. "I can be such a clutz sometimes," she explains to Lena, as if it weren't an almost common occurrence. The words jar Lena into action. The tall, nimble brunette spies the black frames poking up out of the grass, and reaches for the glasses, at the same moment that Kara does. Lena feels a crackle of electricity pass between them, as fingers brush in the bright green grass. Lena gasps quietly, but the noise sounds deafening to Kara's years. The blonde pulls her hand back, as if burned by the contact. The blonde freezes under her best friend's penetrating stare. She looks almost pensive, as she struggles to figure out what has just passed between them. By some miracle, Lena is the one to come up with the precious item. She notices a spot on the lenses, and grabs a fistful of her own dress, in order to wipe them clean. She is all too aware of how Kara isn't breathing, isn't moving. Had the blonde just realized her fatal mistake?

Kara continues to stare off into space. It appears as if the blonde is looking right through her and into the cemetery beyond. Lena silently wonders what the blonde is seeing. After all, what does Supergirl see without her glasses? 

"Kara?" Lena can't help but whisper. Kara quickly looks away, after finally remembering to move.

"Here, let me help," Lena offers, as she reaches out, and slides the offending item back over Kara's ears.

Lena watches with an unreadable expression on her face, as Kara reaches up and straightens them back upon her nose. Kara lets out a tremulous breath, one that she hadn't realized that she'd been holding, once she is satisfied that they are back in place. Lena watches in fascination as she reaches up to prod at the muscles above her brow, with a tight expression on her face. 

"I..." Kara struggles with what to say next. Something immense had just passed between them, and Kara isn't sure where to go from here. Should she tell her? Would Lena truly understand her reasons for keeping such a secret from her? Or was Lillian right? Kara doesn't even want to imagine what would happen if Lena came to hate her in the same way that Lex Luthor loathed Clark Kent, because the truth was, she couldn't. She couldn't bear the thought of losing one more person that she loves, because Kara knew that it would destroy her. So she does her best to ignore it. Kara's hand falls away as she lets out another long, lingering breath.

“I’m surprised that you came to the funeral,” Kara says quietly, as she continues to avoid looking into Lena’s eyes, “Because as far as I know, you never met my father.”

“I didn’t – I didn’t come for _him_ , Kara,” Lena says softly. “I – I came for _you,_  because I wanted to be here for _you_.” Kara’s eyes fly back to her own.

“You did?” Kara’s expression and tone of voice seem nothing short of surprised as she responds to Lena's confession.

“Of course I did,” Lena says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Lena smiles. She hopes that it is reassuring, but she isn't exactly sure if she’s succeeded - because Kara's expression gives nothing away.

“That’s nice of you to say, but you didn’t have to do that,” Kara tells her awkwardly. “I know how busy you've been with running L-Corp, and how hard it is for you to get away. And as much as I wish it weren't true, I know that the world doesn't stop turning just because _I_ lost someone important. In fact, you're probably missing important meetings as we speak. Gosh, the shareholders are not going to be happy with me for keeping you.”

“Kara,” Lena sighs. She is no longer sure what to say. “When are you going to understand? I don't care about that right now, because as far as I'm concerned, this is the most important thing I could have hoped to do with my day. I've decided that being your friend is more important than anything else in my life right now."

Lena reaches for Kara’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Please, understand what I'm trying to say. I _wanted_ to be here for you.” Kara opens her mouth to protest, but Lena doesn't let her get that far.

“And before you try and write me off again, I would remind you - that you would have done the same for me. You _know_ that you would have.” Lena tells her quietly but firmly. And Kara’s eyes fly back to Lena’s once more. After all, she knows Lena is right. Kara pulls her hand out of Lena’s grasp out of guilt. She is momentarily blown away by her friend's comments, by the affection in her voice, and Kara can't shake the feeling that she doesn't deserve it. She tries to ignore the look of hurt that flashes across Lena’s face as a consequence, but utterly fails. She can't help but feel as if she will never deserve Lena’s love, or even her friendship. Lena had to be one of the warmest, kindest people that Kara has ever met, and she doesn't understand how the world can't see it. It pains her to know that nobody has ever even given Lena a chance.

“I don’t deserve a friend like you,” Kara tells her in a defeated voice. “I honestly don’t know how you can look at me right now.”

“How can you even say that, Kara?” Lena asks her, her bright green eyes flashing in incredulity, "Or much less, think it?"

“Because it’s true,” Kara bursts out angrily, the undeniable pain in her chest rearing its ugly head. "Lena, if you knew the kind of person I really was, you would never want to see me again. Hell, you'd probably hate me."

“No!” Lena argues passionately. “No, I - I reject that statement out of hand. How can you believe that? My god, Kara, you are so good and virtuous, and true. You have the biggest heart, and the biggest capacity for love of _anyone_ that I know. Somehow, you have taken all of the broken pieces from my past and put them back together again, _singlehandedly_. Look, I know you’re hurting right now, and that hurt – that hurt can take even the surest of hearts and can rip it to shreds. But I promise you - we are going to get through this.” Kara can only shake her head. She wishes that it didn't hurt this much. She knows that Lena is just trying to help, but she only seems to be making Kara feel worse and not better.

“Kara,” Lena breathes gently. Then, when the blonde continues to avoid her gaze, she repeats herself, this time injecting strength and conviction into her tone of voice, “Kara, look at me.” Still, Kara is stubborn. She's not going to make it easy on her. Lena reaches out, and hooks her fingers under Kara’s strong chin, turning her steely gaze towards her own. “When Jack died, and I was about as low and devastated as they come, you told me that you were here for me – that you weren’t going anywhere and that you would _always_ be there for me. You _told_ me that you would _protect_ me. You promised.” Kara swallows thickly as she remembers those words. She remembers them well. It was a promise that she hadn't made lightly, one that Kara knew would stick with them both forever.

“Well,” Lena tells her gently. “I’m here to tell you that I’m here for _you_. I’m not going anywhere, and I promise that I will always – _always_ – be here for you as your friend. I know that I'm still learning exactly  _how_ to be a good friend to you, but I would stake my life on the promise that I just made you, because I care about you. And not only that, but I care about you more than I care about my own _family_.  So you can take that with a grain of salt. But I _will_ protect you in any way that I can. Kara, I get that you might not be ready to talk about how you’re feeling right now. I even understand that you might not be ready to let me in just yet, after what happened with Mon-El, but I swear that I will always be just a phone call away. All you have to do is ask for my help and I promise that it will be readily given.” 

“I don’t blame you,” Kara tells her for the first time since the day when they both saved the world. “I don’t blame you for what happened with Mon-El.”

“Really? Because your ongoing radio silence since that day has left me feeling otherwise,” Lena jokes. Still, there's hint of seriousness - a hint of insecurity lurking beneath her words.

“I know. I’m so sorry, Lena. I wish that I could justify my actions, but the truth is that I’m not sure I _can_.” Kara tells her. “I don't think that I ever meant to ignore you or screen your calls, but it's just that the last few weeks I have been purposely avoiding any thought of what happened after the Daxamite invasion. And somehow, I knew that talking to you - or seeing you - made that a lot more difficult. It was always easier to just throw myself into work, because every time that I have a minute to myself I - I feel..." Kara's voice quavers as she searches for an adequate word, but finally, after a short delay, she finds it. "Lost. Does that make sense?" Lena nods. "I know what I did was take the easy way out - or could even be considered cowardly, but i just couldn't think about it. It wasn't fair to you - I know that now, but it almost feels too late to right that wrong." Kara lets out a soft exhale. "I - I hope that someday you'll be able to forgive me, because you mean so much to me. But I'd understand if you can't." 

"Kara," Lena sighs, her voice sounding undeniably sad. "As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to _forgive_. Because If I'm being honest, I've been avoiding you, too. I've been so ashamed. After all, I was - I was just so naive. But mostly I feel responsible for everything that happened. I mean - I created the portal that brought the Daxamites to earth, so I can't help but feel like all of the destruction - and all of the deaths from that day is on _me too_. I didn't even think I could face you, because I know how much you cared for Mon-El. And now, because of me, you may never see him again. If anyone needs forgiveness, here, it's me."

"No," Kara says as she shakes her head. "Come on, Lena, it's _not_ your fault. You couldn't have known."

"Kara, _please_ ," Lena cries out in desperation.

"No," Kara denies her, "I'm telling you, it wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for that."

"But I do!" Lena burst out as tears built in her eyes. "I do blame myself, and for that I need your forgiveness. I need to hear you say it. Please, It's been eating me alive. I need to know that you don't hate me."

"I could _never_ hate you!" Kara says as she reaches out for Lena's hand, taking it in her own. "Lena, I _know_ you. I know that you did everything you could to stop Rhea. And your decision to modify Lex's device - to use it to save the city and the planet was nothing short of brilliant. The world owes you a huge debt. You saved the _world_."

"Kara," Lena's voice sounds even more desperate than it had before, and Kara knows that she needs to absolve Lena of her sins. She needs to take the weight off of Lena's shoulders.

"I forgive you," Kara tells her finally. "Lena, I forgive you, okay? I _forgave_ you a long time ago."

"Thank you," Lena whispers. And Kara can see Lena's shoulders relax, as if a monumental burden had just been lifted from them.

"There's something else I need to say," Kara speaks after a short silence builds between them, "You once told me that you were very afraid of the person you would become after you lost Jack, and now - now I know exactly what you meant. I'm scared Lena. I’ve been _so_ hurt, hurt and angry – not at _you_ \- but angry nonetheless. I thought that if I gave it enough time that the feeling would pass, but it - it only seems to be getting worse. I'm scared of this person that I'm becoming and I don't know how to stop it. I'm angry with Rhea, but mostly I'm upset with myself because I feel so _powerless_. I've always prided myself on taking care of my family, on protecting those that I care about, but I failed. I - I couldn't protect _Mon-El_. I couldn't protect Alex, or you, or anyone else, and I couldn't - I couldn't protect Jeremiah. And god, Lena, if it hadn't been for you and what you did on that day, the world would have perished because of something that _I_ did."

"But it didn't," Lena tells her. "Kara, together  _we_ stopped it." Kara shakes her head, and Lena feels a pang of regret as she sees a tear drip from Kara's eyes and fall to the ground, where it spatters upon the earth. She hates that her friend is so sad. "I'm sure you played a part in that."

"I didn't do anything," Kara says as she looks away again, "Supergirl is the one who saved the world. I just gave her the button like you asked. She wouldn't have even needed to use it if it weren't for me."

"Kara," Lena breathes. "Why should the things that happened that day be your sole responsibility? Rhea fooled me, too. She saw a weakness - a vulnerability in me and exploited that. She _used_ me. She was evil. She wanted to take over this world, and recreate it in a way that mirrored her own desires. She didn't care how many people that she had to hurt -or even kill - in order to accomplish that. That _weight_ isn't just on _you_. It's on _all_ of us."

"But it _is_ on _me_ ," Kara argues. "There's a lot that you don't know, Lena, but there's a _reason_ she picked earth. She did it because she _loathed_ me. She despised me for turning her son against her, and wanted to destroy something that meant the world to me - my home. So it is _my_ _fault_. If I hadn't been so desperate to keep Mon-El, she would have left earth _alone_. God, If I had just let him go, then they would have gone back to Daxam and the Daxamites never would have invaded."

"There's no sense on dwelling on what ifs," Lena says calmly. "For all we know, Rhea was going to invade Earth anyway. I mean Daxam was destroyed, right? Look, my point is that you couldn't have known what would happen - just like I had no idea what was happening until it was already too late. All you knew is that you cared about him, and you didn't want to lose him. That _doesn't_ make what happened your fault. And you - you trying to blame yourself for this is like _me_  trying to blame myself for something that Lex or my mother did. But in the end, it's just _not_ _your_ _fault_." Lena feels powerless, as a mournful sound escapes Kara's throat. She isn't sure why her best friend is still so sad, and it kills her that she can't do more.

"Kara, please, It's killing me to see you this upset," Lena speaks in anguish.

"It just seems so unfair," Kara breathes, as she reaches up to hastily wipe away at the errant drops of water on her cheeks. "I know that I probably sound like a kid when I say that, but it's how I feel. It's not fair. _Nobody_ should have to make the sacrifices that we have had to make." 

"You're right," Lena tells her gently. "It's not fair that we've lost so much. But Kara? Kara, if anyone is strong enough to make it through this, it's _you_. Together we will make it though this."

"I feel _so_ foolish, Lena. I mean - I can’t _believe_ that I ever _thought_ that I could have it all. And now I hate myself for ever believing that I _could_. Because for a moment, I had everything I ever wanted growing up as an orphan. I had the job I'd always wanted, a person that loved me for who I am, and most days I -” _I got to be her, a hero that everyone looks up to - a woman that everyone loved._  Kara forces herself to stop talking as she realizes she’d been about to reveal her true identity to Lena. "I was someone to be proud of," Kara finishes. 

"And now?" Kara knows that she owes it to herself to give voice to the thought that would not leave her alone, "Now it's completely lost to me, and I am devastated. Part of me thinks that It would have been better if I had never known what it was like to be happy - to get my hopes up, because It’s obvious that it just isn't in the cards for me. Every time that I think I'm going to be able to have everything, it slips right through my fingers. And I can't help but wonder why I even try."

"Kara," Lena says gently, as she slowly works through what Kara had just said, and tries to decipher what it actually means. "You will find happiness again. You just - you have to give it time, you know? You have to give yourself time to heal."

"I just," Kara sniffles, "need to find a way to come to terms with it. But I don’t know how.”  

"You'll find a way, Kara," Lena tells her. "I know you will. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

“I’ve said too much,” Kara says as she clumsily gets to her feet.

“No!” Lena protests, silently hating that Kara was building walls around herself. Kara – her dear sweet Kara – was closing herself off to the world. That thought was scary enough to say the least. Because she isn't sure if she can live in a world where the Kara Danvers that she knows and loves, is gone. But she was watching Kara lock that part of herself away. “Kara, all of the things that you are feeling are perfectly valid. I know – I know that you’re hurt right now, and that can make it hard to open yourself up again. But you have to try. You have to try, because If you give up now, then people like my mother, Lex, and Rhea win."

“I don't know if I can,” Kara tells her. “I'm so _tired_ , Lena, and I'm afraid of opening myself up like that again.”

“I understand,” Lena finally relents. “You're still in the part of your grief where you feel that you need to close yourself off. But Kara, the world needs you. The world needs Kara Danvers. But more importantly? I _need_ her.” Kara feels her heart clench in her chest as she let herself feel the truth behind Lena's words. She didn't know how Lena could make her feel so special. It was clear that Lena valued their relationship beyond measure.

“Thank you so much for listening, but I should probably get back,” Kara says as she reaches down to help Lena to her feet. “Oh god, I - I ruined your dress.”

Lena looks down at her black dress and feels her cheeks hastily flush with color. She quickly starts straightening the fabric, and looks back up into Kara’s eyes. She is all too aware of how Kara’s eyes linger on her body.

“It’s fine,” Lena tells her with what she hopes is a reassuring smile, as she starts brushing at the spots staining the fabric.

“No, it’s…It’s not. I’m so sorry, Lena,” Kara says as she holds Lena’s bright green gaze. “I didn’t even think about that happening when I hugged you. I know it's not much, but I can pay for the dry cleaning bill. Or, you know, if it’s not salvageable, I could compensate you for the value of the dress. I uh - I don’t make much on a reporter’s salary, but I’m sure I could at least cover _some_ of the cost.”  

"Kara, you're rambling," Lena tells her with a knowing look, and Kara instantly feels her cheeks flush with heat. Kara reaches up to paw at the back of her neck. She was no longer sure what to say or do.

"Please, just let me cover some of the expense," Kara begs her, finally. "It _is_ my fault after all."

“Kara, that's really not necessary,” Lena assures her. “I mean, what good is being the CEO of a international multi-billion dollar company, if I can’t afford to throw out a new dress every once and a while? Besides, I rarely wear the same thing twice. I've been told multiple times by my stylist that it's a bit of a fashion faux pas.”

"But you always wear that one blouse when we go out to lunch," Kara finds herself pointing out - not so helpfully. This time it was Lena's turn to look flustered.

"That's because you really seem to like how beautiful it looks on me, and I - I want to look nice for you," Lena admits softly. Kara feels her heart skip a beat as she meets Lena's daring gaze. 

“You caught that?” Kara questions, as she felt her cheeks exponentially warm under Lena’s penetrating gaze. "I always thought I was being so subtle, when I-" Kara trails off with a nervous laugh, as she reaches up to straighten her glasses. It is a nervous tick of Kara Danvers, and it happened almost without thought.

“Kara, I'm not sure how to tell you this without hurting your feelings,” Lena cuts her off with another teasing smile and a small laugh. “But subtlety is not exactly a forte of yours. Your eyes give away far too much for your own good - even with those glasses perched adorably on your nose."

"You think they're adorable, huh?" Kara asks her.

"Out of everything I just said, is that really what you want to take away from this conversation?" Lena questions with a raise of her brow.

"If it means that you think I'm adorable, then yeah," Kara laughs. A wide smile spreads across the blonde's lips for the first time in several days, and the sight is honestly so beautiful it took Lena's breath away. Kara's eyes began to shine in the bright light as the sun finally slipped below the treetops. Lena can suddenly see deep into them, as if they were bottomless pools, and she is momentarily stunned silent. With a subtle nod of Lena's head, it was decided, Kara Danvers was the most adorable and beautiful woman on the planet.

"So, you really think I'm adorable?" Kara asks as her laugh fizzles and dies. Lena instantly misses the sound. She quickly decides that she could survive solely on the sound of Kara's laugh, if she had to.

"I do," Lena tells her as she let out a laugh of her own. "I wasn't going to admit it, but it seems that you've broken me down with your relentless questioning. I find you, Kara Danvers, to be utterly and completely adorable."  Kara feels her cheeks grow hot once more, and turns away briefly in an effort to hide her blush. 

"Now, we should probably be getting back. Don’t you think?” Kara nods wordlessly, and lets out a squeak as she turns back and seemingly notices Lena standing on one heel for the first time since crossing paths. She blames Lena eyes for being utterly distracting.  

“You seem to be missing one of your shoes,” Kara points out to her, and Lena's gaze instantly flits down towards her feet. Now it is Lena’s turn to blush, as she realizes Kara is correct. She’d forgotten about the broken shoe. Though, now she remembers, she can feel the distinct sensations of the grass between her toes. Lena shifts her weight under Kara's gaze, lifting her heeled foot from the ground.

“Well, now I just look like a hot mess, don’t I?” Lena asks her as she pulls the other shoe off with a flourish, and tosses it away. “Who would’ve ever thought that I would ever look as much of a mess as I do right now?”

“I _wouldn’t_ say you're a mess,” Kara disputes with a warm smile.

“Oh?” Lena teases. “Then what _would_ you say?”

“I would say that you look beautiful,” Kara tells her finally, after a moment’s hesitation, and Lena feels her stomach fill with butterflies under Kara’s words. Kara gives a resolute nod as she repeated the words for emphasis, “You're beautiful.” 

Lena tries to keep her breathing even as Kara takes a step or two closer, closing the minuscule distance between them. Kara reaches up slowly, almost hesitantly, before running her fingers along the contours of Lena's jaw line. Kara's eyes are trained on her face as she takes in the beautiful face composed of delicate features. And yet, as her fingers skate over its contours, Kara realizes that Lena's jaw is well defined. It was strong, and Kara can't help but feel as if it reflects her friend's personality perfectly. Lena bites down gently on her bottom lip, feeling slightly insecure under Kara's touch. The way the blonde was looking at her with such adoration, such wonder - made her question what on earth it was the blonde saw in her. Lena closes her eyes, turning her face into the hand that is currently caressing her face. When she opens them again, Kara is even closer than before. There is almost no space between them now. Hearts were beginning to beat just a little harder, as they let themselves drown in the feel of one another. Lena stares into Kara's bright blue eyes, as the younger woman runs her thumb ever so gently along the zygomatic arch of her left cheek. Lena stops breathing. She reaches up to trap Kara's hand against her own cheek, relishing in the woman's touch. 

"Kara," Lena breathes, her voice failing her. But she desperately wants to ask, ' _What are you doing to me?_  '

Kara quickly pulls her hand away as she realizes just how intimate the gesture had seemed.

"I - I'm sorry," Kara's skin feels igneous as she looks away in trepidation. She'd let herself get lost in Lena's eyes, in the comfort of her touch, and she'd almost done something that could ruin her friendship with her. Kara's heartbeat thunders for several frantic pulses, before she is able to calm herself. "You had a spot on your cheek and I wanted to get rid of it. I...I should've asked if it was okay to touch you."

"It's..." Lena swallows, as she struggles to come up with some sort of adequate response. The truth is, she'd wanted the blonde to kiss her. But those were very dangerous feelings - feelings that could ruin their friendship if she let them. And she can't bear the thought of losing what they had. Kara is just too damned important to her for that.

"I'm sorry, Lena," Kara tells her with a pang of sadness. Kara's eyes momentarily drift shut, as the peal of a siren catches her ears. Lena closes her eyes, too, as she hears the pain in Kara's voice. "I really shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Lena opens her mouth to offer some sort of reply, but when she opens her eyes again, Kara is already gone. She'd seemingly vanished into thin air.

 _Did you run away?_  
_Did you run away? I don't need to know_  
_If you ran away_  
_If you ran away, come back home_  
_Just come home_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, you're enjoying the story so far. I know the chapter is a bit short, but I wanted to open up the story with this particular scene. Mainly, because I felt like it was so powerful. Not only do we get to see Kara, and get a sense of her current state of mind, but we also see Lena, who is desperate to help her friend in any way she can.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed! I have so much love for you all! Thank you! :)


	2. I Am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara makes a bad decision that nearly has disastrous consequences. Luckily, Alex comes to her rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SG universe. And sadly the amazing ship that is SuperCorp doesn't belong to me either. All of my writing is done for recreational purposes only! Please don't sue me!

That night, Kara lay awake in her bed. She tossed and turned back and forth in aggravation, silently willing her mind to shut off and relinquish her to sleep, but her mind and her body refused. The cold sheets, tangled around her legs as she changed positions over and over and over again. Finally, with a huff, she gave up. She threw the comforter off of her upper body with an angry growl, and pushed herself up into a seated position – in a length of time that shouldn’t have been possible. Anger roiled in her veins, and Kara didn’t know how to get rid of it. Kara blamed herself for all of this – for all of the pain and the regret, and the helplessness that she felt. She hadn’t done enough to keep Jeremiah alive, and now her sister couldn’t even bare to look at her. But that was going to change, because Kara silently decided she would take the fight to Cadmus’ doorstep, if she had to, in order for her to make things right. She wanted revenge, and because of Winn’s super-sleuthing she finally knew where to start. She knew exactly where to go to - to get it. She knew she was likely making a mistake, but there was no one to talk her out of it this time. Winn and James were far too busy moonlighting as Guardian and his sidekick to busy themselves with her problems. And Alex was likely off with Maggie, doing things befitting of a couple. 

 _I'm a problem, I'm the killer, I'm the cure, I guess_  
_I'm the end, I'm the beginning, the apocalypse_  
_I am something from nothing, I heard 'em say_  
_Rags to the riches, your best mistake_  
_I'm the future, I'm the relic, I'm the "not done yet"_

Before she could tell talk herself out of it, Kara was throwing the rest of the covers off of her body, and was pulling off her pajamas, tossing the clothing into a heap on the floor next to her bed. Kara pulled her hair out of its elastic, and let out a breath, as it fell freely about her shoulders. She didn’t even think to grab her phone or her communications earpiece, as she stepped towards the window. She pushed open the window with no effort whatsoever. And with a leap, she flew straight through the open window and into the night beyond. She flew off into the night, feeling the cool whip about her face.

Kara closed her eyes as she flew high above the city, training her ears to take in the cacophony of the sounds from the city below. She didn't know if she hoped that something would pull her away from her current mission, or if she wanted to move forwards with her plan, but, it seems, that she was out of luck. It was an altogether quiet night. The city didn’t need her tonight. Kara's eyes flew open, and she let out a sharp breath. She knew what she needed to do. She traveled the several miles to the other side of National City, in the time it would take for an F-35 to do it. And before she could stop herself, she was walking down a street on the wrong side of town. As she walked, she used her x-ray vision to search the surrounding buildings, and finally – was able to pick out the one she wanted. She moved down an alleyway between the two warehouses, all the while searching for weaknesses in the structure. 

As she rounded the corner, Kara heard a distinct thud sound somewhere behind her. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Supergirl,” a roughened voice called out a fraction of a heartbeat later, and Kara spun around with a fire already building in her eyes. She knew that voice. She knew it too well, for her own good.

“Neither should you, Henshaw,” Kara spoke in as calm of a voice as she could muster. But anger overflowed behind every word. “Because, I’m not going to hold back this time. This ends tonight.” Kara told him as she zoomed forwards, using her momentum to crash into him with all of the force of a bulldozer. And for the first time, Kara got an answer as to what happened when an unstoppable force met an immovable object. They collided together, with a force that knocked the air clean from both of their lungs. For a heart-stopping moment, they reeled from the impact, before they ultimately started grappling with one another - both desperately trying to gain the upper hand. Hank had a hold of her left arm, and his hand likely would have crushed the bones inside of it, had she not had her powers. She got in a good lick with her right - a punch that she knew he felt down to his very core. He returned the gesture in kind, and Kara felt a groan pulled from her throat as she felt the impact. She let out a growl as she swung one of her legs forwards, and kicked him with a force hard enough to cause some damage to his metal skeleton.

Still, he was ready for her. He countered expertly, throwing her away from him with a force that sent Supergirl reeling. She flew several yards past him, and tumbled onto the concrete with a muffled groan. Her body spun in circles over the concrete, turning over and over and over again, before she finally came to a stop with a shuddering breath. Kara pressed up on her hands, and quickly climbed to her feet once more, before she charged him again. Her throat let out a roar of pure undiluted anger, as she came at him, moving faster than a speeding bullet. He used his enhanced arm to counter, and Kara let out another noise, as she was thrown into the side of the building. The steel was no match for her. It buckled far too easily underneath the force, and Kara tumbled backwards into the building. She let a out another sharp exhale, as she collided with a stack of boxes near the edge of the warehouse. They tumbled over and exploded into shrapnel around her. After all, they were seemingly no match for the girl of steel. Kara’s momentum carried her far into the building, before she finally hit the concrete with a enough force to send cracks spidering from the epicenter of the impact. Kara wasn’t so quick to get up this time, as she felt the impact in every bone of her body. Her breaths faltered as the pain started to overwhelm her. She watched Hank approach her through blurred vision, and Kara felt pain flare up inside of her as she tried to take a breath. 

Something was wrong. She could feel her strength being sucked away with each breath. It was then that Kara looked down and froze, as she look in the green, glowing crystals littering the floor beneath her hand. Slowly, her hands and arms began to shake, feeling the effects of the glass-like substances cutting into her palms. 

 _The boxes._ She thought as she struggled to make sense of what was happening. It was so hard for her to process what was happening. Her mind seemed to be moving sluggishly - a lot more sluggishly than she was used to. But Kara _knew_. It was _Kryptonite_ littering the floor. Kara tried to push herself back onto her feet, and stumbled. She knew then that she had made a terrible mistake. She was in serious trouble.

  
_I'm the blaze, I'm the siren, I'm the exit door_  
_I'm the cape, I'm the villain, I'm the metaphor_  
_I'm a good gun in a bad man's war, I paved the way_  
_I'm a left hook, I'm a fractured jaw, I'm the pain_  
_I'm a preacher, I'm a sinner, I'm a broken law_

Hank reached for her neck, lifting her from the floor before she could adequately prepare for his attack, and Kara gasped as his hand closed around her throat in an excruciating hold. He was too strong. Kara clawed at the cold steel of the man’s arm, as she struggled to loosen his hold and free herself, but she was too weak. The Kryptonite had already weakened her body substantially. She felt her gaze start to narrow, as oxygen was cut off from her lungs, though her body continued to use the precious resource.

“Just tell me,” Kara begged of him, as he lifted her off of the floor. Her feet swung helplessly in the air as she tried feebly to kick at him with her boots. “Was it you?” Kara choked out through gritted teeth. “Were you the one that killed him?” Kara asked of him.

“Does it matter?” Hank Henshaw questioned as he had the gall to meet her eyes. “He’s dead, Supergirl. And even you with all of your powers cannot bring people back from the _dead_.” ' _Oh how true that is_ ,' Kara thought. “You were stupid to come here on your own. And now? Now it’s going to cost you.”

“No,” Kara denied him as she let go of his arm with both hands. She continued to dangle helplessly above the floor, held in his clutches.

With all of the strength she could muster, Kara lifted up her right arm and brought it down as hard as she could upon the limb clutching her throat. Hank gave a roar, as the metal, bent under its force, and sparks began to fly from the circuitry embedded in it. Kara let out a scream of her own, as she felt the bones in her forearm snap like a twig under the force of the recoil. He let go, and Kara tumbled to the floor in a heap, with her deep red cape tangled about her body. Kara writhed on the concrete, and cradled her arm against her body, as she grappled with the pain. Tendrils of green, crept up her neck towards her face, and Kara knew that if she didn’t move – if she didn’t get out of there just then, that she was _never_ going to. Her body trembled violently as she hacked and coughed, trying to replace the air in her lungs. She scrambled to her feet and started running. It was hard for her to get her bearings. She felt weak – dizzy almost. But nevertheless, she persisted. She made her way back towards the hole in the wall that _she_ had made with her own body. Hank gave chase, but Kara was faster. She let out another scream as she dove through the wall of the building and rolled into the alleyway below. She got back to her feet and kept running without missing a beat. She didn’t even turn back as she heard him wrench the gun from his holster, and cock it. A fraction of a heart beat later, and Kara heard two thundering shots.

She felt a fire erupt in her side, as one of the bullets hit her, but Kara did not let allow herself so much as a single second to think of the damage that it caused her. She was of one mind. She had to keep going – she had to get out of there or she was going to _die_. It was as simple as that. Kara tore down the alley as fast as she possibly could, backtracking the way she came. 

 _Who am I to tell you what you think you see?_  
_It ain't my business to tell you what to think to be_

Unfortunately, she wasn’t done with Cadmus’ cronies just yet. Kara skidded to a stop, as men suddenly encroached on her from the shadows. She was weak, broken, because of what the Kryptonite had done to her, and Kara didn’t know if she had the strength to take them on. Still, she had no choice but to fight. She was the one who had gotten herself into this mess, and she was going to have to be the one to get herself out of it.

“You don’t want to do this,” Kara told them all, as she glanced around, making eye contact with each of the four men. Her voice held a tinge of warning to it, but her warnings went unheeded.

“I know what you came here for,” one of the men told her. His face had an eerie green glow to it, and Kara knew what she would find below his shirt if she tore it from his body. It seemed that Lillian had been busy lately, making more toy soldiers.

“Is that so?” Kara questioned as she lifted her fists in front of her face. Kara’s right arm shook, as pain surged up and down the nerve endings in it, lighting the limb on fire. Still, she didn’t back down. Any minute now, and the bones would knit themselves back together. She knew she just had to hold on, and be strong, until that happened.

“You came here for revenge,” he told her. “You’re letting your anger drive you. But what you don’t seem to understand, is that your father had it coming to him. He stuck his nose in where it didn’t belong, and he paid the price for that. If you aren’t careful, you’re going to end up sharing his fate.” 

“Jeremiah Danvers was a good man!” Kara shouted at him angrily, her voice quavering in anger. “What Cadmus did to him was wrong! He was only protecting me! He was only protecting us, and I couldn’t save him." Kara said with a dangerous tone. "But you had better believe that I am going to make you pay for what you did.”

“Enough talking,” a man behind Kara spoke. She heard him step forwards, and ducked forwards as he pounced. She felt his fist swipe at the air behind her and dropped to her knees on the concrete. She hopped back to her feet, and as he swung again, she was ready to counter. She grabbed a hold of the limb as it passed through the air beside her, and swung him around so that she was at his back. He let out a groan, as she used traction to push his shoulder out of its socket. She applied pressure in exactly the right place, and he dropped to the ground with a howl.

As the second man charged, Kara was more than ready. This is what she wanted - to fight one man at a time, and they were playing right into her hands. She exchanged punches and blows with him. She noticed immediately that he was more practiced than the first, and Kara found herself having a harder time. He seemed to be calculating her every move. Still, she was faster than him, and she was able to exploit his weaknesses. Eventually, she managed to gain the upper hand. 

“You’re on the wrong side of this,” Kara hissed, her hands forming fists in the man’s shirt as she threw him up against a brick wall, with another sound of anger. “Because let me tell you something. You do _not_ want me as your enemy.” 

 _All I know, it's too late for me to change your mind_  
_I'll let go, let you decide_  
_What you wanna believe_

Kara was hardly caught off guard as the man pounced, again. She parried, dodging a poorly aimed punch. And in the way that Alex once showed her, Kara used the man’s strength against him. She used his momentum to throw him into a group of trashcans on the other side of the alleyway. With a loud clatter, several cans were overturned as the man’s weight toppled into them and he fell to the ground on the other side. She could hear a groan, as the man started getting up - slowly. Kara gritted her teeth together as the third and fourth man jumped her in the shadows. This was not good. They seemed to be learning from the others, and the element of surprise worked in their favor. Kara quickly dodged the metal fist of the third man, but was unable to dodge the other, as the man drove his fist, with a great deal of force behind it, into Kara’s jaw. Kara's neck snapped to the side, and Kara staggered sideways into the wall beside her. It took her a moment to recover from the blow. Kara took a deep steadying breath, and pushed away from it, mentally preparing for more. Instinctively, Kara threw up her forearm in order to block a second punch to her face. After all, one of the first things that Kara had learned during her sparring sessions with Alex and Mon-El was that she needed to protect her face and her head at all costs. It was the most vulnerable part of the body, and a concussion left you an easy target. Despite feeling disoriented, she was still able to land a solid punch with her left hand. Kara felt the force of the blow travel up through her knuckles and into her forearm, causing her to grit her teeth together in pain. Every punch was hurting her just as much as it was hurting them. One of her arms was already useless, but you had better believe that she was going to keep fighting.

Kara let out a gasp, as the third man picked up where the last man left off, and charged her. She was thrown backwards, as heavy bodies connected in a tackle. Kara didn’t even have a chance to brace herself, as her spine and the back of her head were slammed into the brick wall at her back. Brick and mortar cracked beneath the impact, and Kara felt the wall buckle inwards. She grunted at the flurry of pain that rippled through her body as a direct consequence, and gagged at the acrid taste of iron in her mouth. Shit. Kara had accidentally bit down on her tongue, splitting it open. 

The man seemed eager to continue his assault, especially because he seemed sense her vulnerability. Kara let him think that he was right. She baited him into attacking her again, and then used one of the moves she’d learned during her countless sparring sessions as an evasive maneuver. He aimed a punch at her stomach, and Kara deflected it. His fist slammed into the brick, instead of her gut, and he let out a roar of pain as he split his knuckles all the way down to the metal beneath.  Kara, used this moment of vulnerability to counter. Kara grit her teeth together, as she went after him with everything she had. She landed a flurry of punches to his mid-section, and swept his legs from under him with a sweeping kick. Another flourish, and Kara slammed her hand down onto his chest. The man was dead before he could draw so much as a single breath.

Of course, the tall man (who resembled Colossus just a little bit too much for Kara’s own liking) didn’t like this one bit. The muscles in Kara’s shoulder separated, as he slammed into her body with his own, leading with his shoulder. The force of the collision was no match for her weakened body, and Kara felt her legs get knocked right out from under her, as she was thrown sideways against the opposite wall with a strong enough force to knock the air from Kara’s lungs. A fraction of a heart-beat later, and Kara tumbled to the ground with a groan. This time, Kara didn't try get back up. She was out of strength - out of time. Kara felt a gasp pulled from her lips, as he seized her by the cape and lifted her up and off of the ground. Kara's legs dragged on the ground behind her, before finally, she was high enough up that they couldn't touch anymore. 

Kara let out another sound, as he shoved her back against the wall behind her. He blasted her with a jet of green light, and Kara let out a scream as she felt all of her muscles seize up in response. She struggled against him, but did so only half-heartedly. She had no strength left - no fight left in her - and she knew this was it. She was going to die. Kara gagged as an arm forced itself tight against the front side of her neck, cutting off her oxygen supply - again. Kara choked on the air in her lungs and felt her vision grow fuzzy. Kara felt her limbs slacken, as she used her last ounce of her strength just to keep breathing.  

“Kara!” Alex’s voice was the first thing strong enough to penetrate the pounding of the heartbeat in Kara’s ears. Kara’s eyelids fluttered low over her eyes, as she let the fatigue take over.

 _Finally_ , she thought, hazily. Someone was there to help. 

“Hey, let go of my sister!” Alex hissed, as she swung a pipe into the back of the man’s head, with a force hard enough to break it in half. Kara watched in a daze as her sister yanked the man off of her and tossed him onto the ground below. In another quick flourish, Alex had already pulled out a gun, cocking it. She aimed it straight at his head, and let out an angry breath. “You may be Frankenstein's metal monster,” Alex told the man with venom in her voice, “But I assure you, the bullets in this gun _will_ be enough to blow your head off. So if you want to live, I suggest that you get out of my sight. Now!” DEO agents flowed into the alley from all directions, and Alex had to squint against the lights from the flashlights that were pointing in all directions.

The man that Kara had nicknamed Colossus, shouted something at the other men, and before Alex had the chance to do anything, they were streaking off into the night. Some of the DEO agents turned as if to engage the enemy, but Alex beat them to the punch. “Our orders are not to engage, so don’t even think about it! Clear out! We've got what we came for.” The DEO agents turned and retreated. Leaving Kara and Alex alone in the alley.

 _A path of corruption and destruction_  
_(What you wanna believe)_  
_Everyday that they live_  
_They have another opportunity to be saved_

Alex turned and rushed towards her sister. “Kara!”

Meanwhile, Kara slowly came back to life, struggling to fill her lungs with oxygen. She coughed over and over again, as the pain in her side and her back reared its ugly head. She knew that at the very least some ribs were broken, and she couldn’t quite bring herself to move just yet. So Kara stayed – she stayed like that for a long moment as she tried to hold onto consciousness.

“Kara!” Alex called out as she caught Kara halfway through her descent to the ground, easing her down. “Kara, hey, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here with you. You’re safe now.” Kara let out a noise as she took a deep, painful breath into her lungs - and the noise was so full of agony that Alex couldn’t come up with an accurate word to describe it. It hurt to know that Kara was in so much pain.

“J’onn,” Alex spoke into her Comm’s device. “I’ve got Kara, but I’m going to need a Medical Evac. sent to my location.”

“What are her injuries?” J’onn questioned her. Alex could hear the overwhelming concern in his voice as he asked her. Alex’s eyes moved over Kara’s body quickly, assessing and categorizing Kara’s injuries. More importantly, she was looking for any apparent life threats. She stopped drawing breath into her lungs, as she saw the amount of blood leaking through Kara’s super-suit. The sight gave her pause. Kara had been vulnerable during the attack - meaning that her injuries could be catastrophic. As Alex noticed the hole in Kara's suit, she wondered how it was even possible. How had Cadmus designed a bullet that could go through Kara's kevlar suit? Or better yet, her skin? There was only one answer that she could think of. And that was -  _Kryptonite_. 

Kara’s head rolled backwards against the wall behind her, and Alex grabbed a hold of her neck with her hands, trying to keep the bones in Kara's neck in an in-line neutral position.

“It’s bad,” Alex told him simply, knowing that those two words said a lot more than an entire run-down assessment ever could. “She’s going to need the sunlamps ready by the time we get there - and definitely some x-rays.”

“How did this happen?” J’onn asked.

“Kryptonite,” Alex told him. “Cadmus has been working overtime on producing the synthetic stuff. And Kara – Kara walked right into a trap tonight.” Alex turned back to her sister, and slowly but surely she watched some of the cloudiness in Kara’s eyes dissipate. "Kara?"

“A-Alex?” Kara finally spoke for the first time, seemingly taking-in the other’s presence. Kara's voice was rough as she spoke.

“Yeah,” Alex told her as she reached down and gave Kara’s hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s me. I’m here.”

“How did you – How did you find me?” Kara asked her in confusion. 

“Winn – He told me that you’d asked him to do some research on old properties of LuthorCorp - leases that L-Corp allowed to lapse since Lena took over. This is one of the buildings that popped,” Alex sighed. “Damn it, Kara, I didn’t _want_ to think you would be stupid enough to try something like this, but here we are! God what were you even thinking? You – You could have been killed!” Alex continued to rant. “If we hadn’t found you when we did, you would have…”

“I’m fine,” Kara managed through gritted teeth.

“Oh, don’t even bother arguing with me right now,” Alex told her. “You can’t even _move_.” Alex reached up to run a hand worriedly over her face. “Do you even realize what it would do to me if I lost you? I can’t lose you, Kara. If I lost you now, after losing Dad, I would - ” Alex felt a sob escape as tears came unbidden to her eyes. “ _Please_. You have to stop this! You have to give up on this crusade that you’re on. I know you’re hurting, and I am too, but you can’t just go off and _do_ stuff like this!”

“I’m sorry,” Kara told her honestly. “ _Rao_ , Alex, I’m so sorry. You’re right. I don’t – I don’t know what I was thinking. I - I guess that I  _thought_  that if I could get answers, if I could find out what really happened - that it would make things better. But it won’t. It won’t, because I _can’t_ bring him back. And I’m just so sorry, that we have to deal with the pain of losing him.”

“Kara,” Alex said softly, as she brushed a sweat-dampened strand of hair from Kara’s eyes. “I know you blame yourself for what happened, and I know that _you_ think that I blame you. But I _don’t_. I promise you. I  _really_ don’t. Dad made the choices he made, okay? And even though he felt like he was making them for the right reasons, he was making them for the wrong ones. That’s…That’s not on you. I – I love you, Kara, and I’m sorry that I’ve been so distant lately, but please - please don’t give up on me now. Always remember, El mayarah.”               

Kara’s struggled against Alex’s hands, as she tried get back to her feet. She almost made it, but then her knees gave out and Alex had to catch her again. “Easy!” Alex exclaimed, “Easy, Kara. Just relax for a minute okay? You’re very badly hurt. You need to take a minute. The chopper is almost here." 

"Chopper?" Kara repeated in a haze, as she felt conciousness start to elude her. She tried to cling to it, but she was outdone. Kara's breathing evened out, as she finally surrendered to the overwhelming fatigue, and her eyes fluttered closed. 

"Kara!" Alex's voice called out in shock, as she felt Kara's legs give out completely, and she had to use all of her strength to keep Kara from falling to the ground. She eased the blonde down onto the concrete, and noticed with a pang of fear, Kara had lost consciousness. Alex cradled Kara’s body against her own as she heard the sound of the chopper grow near. "Kara?" Alex spoke the blonde's name with an undeniable tenderness, as Kara's muscles slackened even further in her arms. "Kara, come on, stay with me." Alex got no response and felt her breaths grow short. She carefully readjusted her grip on Kara's body - placing one arm under the blonde's knees, and the other behind her back, before she carefully climbed to her feet. She felt the warm blood leaking from Kara's side soak her own shirt, and the sensation made her mildly sick. She gagged as she smell of it hit her nostrils, and had to will herself to calm down.

"Just hang in there, Kara," Alex told her, while moving towards the Med-evac. "You're going to be okay. I'm going to take care of you." But she knew that Kara couldn't hear her. The blonde had lost the battle, and Alex could only hope that she wasn't going to lose her sister too.

* * *

When Kara opened her eyes again, it was to a bright orange light. Her vision was blurred, almost as if she were viewing the world through a thin screen. She squinted for a long moment, willing her eyes to adjust to the light as she continued stirring. Kara let out a groan, as the pain in her body returned with a vile fury. But fortunately the pain she was experiencing now, was muted in comparison to what it had been before. Kara took another greedy breath, and slowly reached up to peel the oxygen mask from her face. She dropped it onto the table beside her, and slowly Kara started to push herself up, before gentle hands pushed her back down.

“Easy! Easy, Kara,” Alex admonished. “Take it slow.”

“Are we at the DEO? Oh, _Rao_ , did I actually pass out at some point?” Kara questioned, as she pressed a hand gingerly to her ribs, and sucked in another breath, before pushing herself up into a seated position. Alex carefully grabbed a hold of Kara's hand in hers, and helped ease her up. Kara couldn't ignore the gentleness with which her sister touched her. It was almost as if she were afraid that Kara might break. 

“You had a concussion,” Alex told her, as she met Kara's almost glassy stare. Even now, she could see Kara's blank expression and knew the blonde was still pretty out of it. “So yeah, you blacked out, but you should be fine."

"I still feel a bit strange," Kara groaned, "Is that - Is that normal?" Kara asked with a pained expression on her face.

"It's totally normal," Alex replied reassuringly. "Your brain is learning how to process information again."

"I don't like this," Kara admitted.

"Yeah, well maybe that'll teach you to be a little more careful next time," Alex told her pointedly.

"Are we to the 'I told you so' part of the morning, already?" Kara asked with a hint of resignation in her eyes.

“Kara, hey,” Alex reached up and gave Kara's good shoulder a comforting squeeze. She was careful to avoid the areas she knew that Kara had hurt. “Look, you’re resilient, and you’re gonna be just fine. I – I was just giving you a hard time. You really scared me last night.” 

“I know,” Kara groaned, as she swung her legs out over the floor. “I've really gotta stop doing that, don’t I?”

Alex had been about to say something in agreement, when Kara’s phone started going off across the small room. 

“Seriously?” Alex huffed as her eyes flashed with annoyance. “That’s gotta be the tenth time that she’s called you this morning, and now I'm starting to wish that I'd never gone by your apartment to get the damned thing."

"What do you mean?" Kara asked. Her brain was still sluggish. “Who is it that's calling?” 

“Who do you think?” Alex countered, as she sauntered over to the table and plucked up the device. She walked briskly back over to the table, and handed it to Kara. “Please answer it, because it's starting to drive me _crazy_." Kara nodded wordlessly, and hit the accept button with her thumb, before lifting it to her ear. "Now I might be able to get some actual work done," Alex huffed under her breath, but Kara heard her just fine.

Kara’s voice sounded rough to her own ears, as she answered with a gentle, “Uhh... Hello?” She still wasn't sure who it was that she was greeting, but the second Lena's voice hit her ears, Kara's thoughts cleared. Lena's voice brought undeniable clarity with it.

“Kara? Oh thank god!” Lena’s voice answered with a tinge of panic to it. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all morning! Why haven’t you been answering?” Kara squeezed her eyes shut for a moment as she tried to think of an adequate excuse for missing so many phone calls, but she couldn’t think of one.

“Kara?” Lena repeated – concernedly.

“I – Yeah, sorry,” Kara stuttered, “I'm here. I was just thinking – You were wondering why I haven’t been answering... Well, you see, the explanation is easy enough to say the least. I forgot my phone when I left for work this morning, and I didn’t have the chance to pick it up until now, so-“

“But you’re okay?” Lena asked gently, having calmed down a bit over the course of Kara’s explanation. She wasn't sure what to think. But for the interim, at least, she would take it.

“Yeah,” Kara nodded, her voice hitching slightly. “Of course! I – I’m fine. I've been swamped with work, but otherwise, I'm good.”

“Good,” Lena sighed, “That’s good. Well, I'm sorry for bothering you, but when I heard about what happened last night, I had to try and get in touch with you.”

“Umm... Not to sound like an idiot,” Kara began slowly, as she realized that the words felt strange to her tongue. “But what are you talking about? What happened last night?”

“You mean you haven’t heard?” Lena questioned. “I was sure that you would have heard about it by now, considering your vocation. Supergirl got badly hurt in a fight last night. I guess that it happened at an old property of Lex's. Apparently, she had to be airlifted out of there by the government. I don't know who was involved in hurting her, but I _suspect_  that it might have something to do with Cadmus.”

“Oh! _Oh_!” Kara gasped, “Right – of course! You were talking about _that_! I mean, it's been all over the news - and here, _too_. We're working on a story right now, which is why I've been - been so busy. _Yeah_."

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lena questioned intuitively. "You sound... You sound a little out of it, Kara." She didn’t know what exactly was wrong, but Kara sounded entirely out of sorts.

“Yeah,” Kara exhaled. This was a blatant lie. Kara was not okay - not even close.

“Look, Kara,” Lena sighed, as she reached up to prod at her forehead with the pads of her fingers. “I – I really didn’t want to have to ask, but could you try and get in contact with Supergirl for me. I just want to make sure that she’s… she’s okay. She's helped me so much in the last year, and I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to her. She's a good friend of mine, and I'd like to offer my assistance.”

“Of course I can,” Kara replied as if it were no inconvenience. “Look, I’m sure that she appreciates how much you care about her, Lena. I’ll try and get in touch with her and see if she’s up for meeting you.”

“Thank you,” Lena said gratefully. “Truly, I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime! After all, that's what friends are for,” Kara smiled. And Alex couldn't help but notice that there was something more behind that smile. Kara had always been one to wear her heart on her sleeve, and she found that in this situation, it was no different. She wore the look of someone who was talking to their crush. And Alex felt a fluttering of her stomach as she realized how much she had missed the light in Kara's eyes these last few weeks. But it was back now while Kara was talking to Lena, and that couldn't be a coincidence. “Well, I should go. I - I’ve got to get back to work or Snapper will kill me.”

“Right,” Lena replied, sounding slightly crestfallen, "Of course. I'm sure you've got lots to do considering last night's events."

“I’ll – I’ll talk to you soon, Lena,” Kara said awkwardly. She was about to hit the end button, when she heard Lena say.

“Kara?” Lena said, as she straightened in her chair, "Wait!"

“Yes, Lena?” Kara laughed, while trying to hide the sudden nervousness that she felt. 

“I -” Lena began, “I know that this is sort of last minute, but I have a meeting that got cancelled and I was wondering if you might want to grab a late lunch with me today." Okay so this was a bit of a lie. Lena still had meetings booked all afternoon, but she had quickly decided that she would do some shuffling around of her schedule, if it meant that she got a chance to see Kara. "We haven't gone out in eons, and I - I kind of miss you," Lena confessed, "I really miss spending time with you.” 

“Oh!” Kara gasped, feeling her cheeks suddenly flush with color.  She was aware that Alex was still in the room, and was still able to pick up on their entire conversation. “Yeah, sure! I – I’d like that.”

“Great,” Kara could practically hear the smile in Lena’s voice, and she wished that she could see it. She was all too aware of Lena’s megawatt smiles – smiles that she had yet to notice were reserved solely for her. “I’ll text you the address. Does 2:00 work for you?”

“Uh, just a sec,” Kara murmured, “I’ve got to check my schedule.” Kara covered the mouthpiece of her phone, and turned towards Alex, who wore an amused look on her face.

“What?” Alex nearly laughed. 

“What time is it?” Kara mouthed, and Alex laughed out loud. Kara really was too damned adorable for her own good, sometimes.

“You know,” Kara warned with a flash of her eyes, “I'm totally not above throwing this phone at your head.” 

“Okay!” Alex threw up her hands, and then made a show of glancing at her watch. “It’s Twelve-thirty now. There, are you happy?”

Kara removed her hand from the mouthpiece and lifted the phone back to her ear, before speaking into it again. “Good news, it looks like I’ll be able to make it.” 

“Perfect,” Lena replied, “I can’t wait. I’ll see you then, Kara.” Kara let out the breath she'd been holding, as soon as the call was ended. 

“Well _that’s_ interesting,” Alex said, from where she stood leaning against the glass wall, arms crossed over her chest.

“What?” Kara said with a hint of annoyance in her eyes. “And do tell me - what on earth is it that you find _so_ hilarious?”

“You _like_ her,” Alex finally answered after some contemplation, as she stepped away from the wall, pushing herself off of the glass effortlessly.

“That’s not exactly a secret, Alex,” Kara pointed out helpfully, as she dropped down onto her feet. Kara staggered as she tried to take a step forwards, but quickly found her feet again. "We're _friends_."

“No,” Alex shook her head. “No, I mean – you _like_ her - like her.”

“What language are you speaking?” Kara asked her as she tried to squeeze past Alex. "Cause I'm pretty sure it's not english." But Alex wouldn’t let her avoid the topic. The brunette reached out and grasped Kara around the upper arm, stilling her. 

“She used Supergirl as an excuse to call _you_ ,” Alex said finally. “She’s been using it as an excuse to talk to you for a long time, and I think I _finally_ understand why. She has a thing for you, Kara.”

“No,” Kara shook her head. “No, she _doesn’t_. We’re – We’re friends, Alex, _just_ friends.”

“Look,” Alex sighed dramatically, “I know that you’re still recovering from what happened with Mon-El, but it’s okay for you to care about her too, you know?”

“Alex,” Kara said with a hint of warning to her voice. 

“Okay – Okay, fine,” Alex, pouted, “I’ll drop it _for_ _now_. I - I just wanted you to know that it’s _okay_ to feel that way. It doesn’t make you a horrible person for caring about her.”

“And while I appreciate the relationship advice, I should get going,” Kara said determinedly, “I’m going to have to go pay her a visit as Supergirl, and still leave myself enough time to get ready for our lunch -” Kara trailed off as she realized how it sounded. "Date," Kara finished. She tried to ignore the look of glee on Alex's face. However, Alex's expression quickly shifted to one of concern as Kara bumped her arm on the way out of the room, and let out a loud groan. 

“Are you sure that you’re up for it, Kara?” Alex asked worriedly. “You've still got broken bones that are healing, and a bullet wound that isn't fully healed. Plus, you know, you got your ass handed to you last night. No one would blame you for wanting to take it easy for a bit.”

“I wasn't aware,” Kara said with a hint of sarcasm, "So thank you for reminding me, Alex."

“I’m just worried about you,” Alex confessed. 

“I know,” Kara said, as she pulled Alex in for a hug. “I know you are. But I’m _okay_. I’m good, actually, and I really need to do this. She – she thinks that I blame her for what happened with Mon-El, and I need to show her that I really _don’t_. I’ve been such a terrible friend to her lately, and she doesn’t deserve that.” Kara pulled back from the embrace.

She felt the air sucked from her lungs, as she realized something. And Alex must’ve seen this on Kara’s face because she asked. “Kara? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, god! I’m missing work! I am missing work right now. James is going to _kill_ me!” Kara began in a panic.

“Kara,” Alex told her, as she gently grabbed her sister by the shoulders, looking Kara in the eyes. “Kara, hey, relax! I took care of it, okay? I did what I always do when stuff like this happens, and I called into work for you. I talked to James personally, and explained what happened. He said to take as much time as you need. He wanted me to tell you that he's thinking about you.” 

“Oh, thank you, Alex!” Kara said gratefully. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”

“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out,” Alex told her. “Cause you’re stuck with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to be a bit longer than I intended, so sorry about that! But hopefully you still find it up to par, and like it!
> 
> Also, I hope I did an adequate job of making Alex a badass, cause she's totally my hero! :) Honestly, I haven't been able to decide who I like more, Alex or Lena - cause they're both so damned awesome! 
> 
> Please take a second to leave a comment, if you have a chance! I appreciate any and all feedback! Thanks for reading!


	3. Walking the Wire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, here's my daily dose of writing, and some more Supercorp goodness for you all! I dearly hope you enjoy!

_Do you feel the same when I'm away from you?_  
_Do you know the line that I'd walk for you?_  
_We could turn around and we could give it up_  
_But we'll take what comes, take what comes_  

Kara closed her eyes as she soared high over the city. She felt a smile tug at her lips as she did a barrel roll, and then another and another, spinning back and forth in the air with reckless abandon. She wove between the buildings, and opened her eyes just in time to see the L-Corp building looming over her. Kara flew straight towards the glass, holding her breath as she played chicken with the daunting structure. She flew closer and closer to it – so near, in fact, that she knew that she could probably reach out and touch it. With a lurch, she changed her trajectory at the last possible moment so that she was rocketing straight upwards. She was glad that she hadn’t miscalculated, as any miscalculation would have sent her hurtling through the windows and into the building’s superstructure. Kara let out a giddy laugh, as she reached towards the building and felt her fingertips slide over the smooth, cool glass. She watched her reflection do the same. Boy, were the window washers going to hate her later.

 _Feel the wind in your hair_  
_Feel the rush way up here_

Kara flew up the remaining ten floors to the top of the L-Corp building, and let out a sharp breath as she shot up over Lena’s balcony. She'd been going just a little too fast, and hadn't been able to stop in time. Kara could see the reflection of the skyline in the windows, but that isn't what held her attention. Instead, all of her attention was focused on the sole occupant in Lena's office. Kara’s cape billowed around her body, as she hovered, momentarily suspended over the terrace below.

Kara felt her heart skip a beat, as Lena spun around in her chair in order to face her, and met Kara's gaze. Kara suspected that Lena had either seen her reflection in her computer screen, or she’d heard Kara’s approach. After all, when she was up flying up to speed, Kara knew that she could be loud. In fact, the sound was almost like that of a fighter jet breaking the sound barrier. Often times, Kara rattled windows as she flew by, and on rare occasions, she even broke them.

Kara's stomach did a weird flip as she realized that the door to the balcony was already open, as if beckoning her to come right on in. She knew then that Lena had been expecting her - she'd known that Kara would come.

Kara slowly and carefully lowered herself the rest of the way to the balcony, and felt her feet connect with the ground beneath with a dull click of her boots. Kara didn’t miss a beat, walking the few steps it took to reach the door in the same amount of time it took Lena to push herself up and out of her chair.

“Supergirl,” Lena spoke in that breathy way that made Kara’s stomach feel like it was filled with butterflies, “You came.”

“Of course,” Kara replied with a confident and beaming smile, as she stepped into the CEO’s immaculate office. Still, Kara did not feel as well as she appeared to be. Kara had to press her hands against her middle, in order to coach herself through the pain that was now catching up to her. Flying, as it happened, required the use of her core muscles, and Kara was experiencing pain in every single one of them. 

“A little birdie told me that you were worried about me, and I couldn’t have that,” Kara told her, with a hint of affection beneath her words. In that single moment, Kara practically exuded strength and confidence as she moved about in Lena's office. She felt right at home in this space, and she knew that Lena was a big part of that. Lena had opened up this place to her, and made it Kara's home just as much as hers. She'd always made Kara feel welcome here, and Kara was grateful for that. 

Kara embraced her persona. It was a welcome respite from what it felt like when she hung up her cape at the end of the day. Kara liked spending her time as Supergirl, because when she was the hero she didn't feel quite so broken. It was Kara Danvers that was weak - broken. But Supergirl? Supergirl was whole. Supergirl remained strong and unwavering in her duties and convictions.

“Is this little birdie named Kara Danvers, by any chance?” Lena joked, her tone almost flirty, as her bright red lips quirked up in a warm, radiant smile.

“She is,” Kara confirmed. Then she said, “You know, what you’re doing is pretty shameful. And poor Kara can’t even see it. She has no idea what's going on.”

“And just what is it that I’m doing exactly?” Lena asked innocently. “It’s no secret that I care for you.”

" _About_ me," Kara corrected her gently.

"I said what I said," Lena told her confidently, her eyes practically sparkling as she met Kara's. "I care for you, Supergirl, and I won't take that back - scandalous as it  _may_ _be_."

“You do?” Kara questioned her, as she felt doubt creep into her mind. She wasn’t sure if Lena was just messing with her, or if the sentiment was genuine. Still, all of her instincts were telling Kara that Lena's affection for her was genuine. That notion made Kara feel oddly warm and fuzzy inside.

 _'No,'_ Kara had to tell herself, _'It's too soon to be feeling these things. You can't be in love with her.'_ What would Mon-El say to her, if he knew about the things she was feeling right now? Kara can only imagine that he would feel betrayed. She shouldn't be feeling these things for Lena, but she'll be damned if she wasn't in love with her.

“I do,” Lena confirmed. “Though, if I’m being completely honest, I care about Kara Danvers just as much. I would do just about anything for her.”

“That's interesting, because I’m fairly sure that she’d say the exact same thing about you, too,” Kara said as she met Lena’s eyes. “I know she cares about you dearly."

"Does she talk about me?" Lena asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. She wondered if Kara would be honest with her. She wanted desperately to tell Kara that she knew, but the blonde seemed determined to keep up pretenses. Lena had known when Kara showed up as Supergirl, that she wouldn't be revealing herself to Lena anytime soon.

"I uhh... I'm not exactly sure it's my place to talk about that," Kara stuttered - almost floundered. "I'm sure you already know that Kara's a very private person who often has trouble opening up about her feelings, but yes, she does talk about you on occasion. I meant it when I said that Kara Danvers believes in you. She cares about you deeply."

"That's good to know," Lena replied with a beaming smile. Kara felt her heart skip a beat as she took in the way Lena's eyes were peering deep into her own. It was as if she was seeing deep into Kara's very soul. Kara was struck with an odd sensation then. She wondered if Lena already knew about her secret. After all, her friend's gaze was reminiscent of one you might expect from someone who knew of her deepest secret. But that was impossible, wasn't it? 

Kara knew that she was no good at keeping secrets. In fact, it was pretty much inevitable that Kara would say or do something that would reveal herself unintentionally to Lena. I mean, really? Saying,  _'I flew here on a bus'_  wasn't exactly being subtle, and Kara was _still_ kicking herself over that one. Alex was right to be concerned for Kara's well-being, because at the rate she was going now, the blonde's secret couldn't be kept from the world for long.

"I really don't have a lot of time," Kara announced to Lena finally. She realized that she must look strange, standing there as she was, staring wistfully at the brunette CEO, "But I did want to pay you a brief visit and reassure you that I’m doing well. You’ll be pleased to know that Cadmus' attempts on my life last night failed, and didn’t do any lasting damage.”

“So it _was_ Cadmus, then,” Kara could see the anger slowly enter Lena's body, as the brunette let herself feel anger and hatred towards the people that would do her harm, and Kara suddenly felt guilty. Kara could hear the faint growl underneath Lena's words. “You know I’m a bit disappointed. I didn’t think my mother would return to her despicable ways quite so soon. It’s deeply troubling.”

 _Oh, the storm is raging against us now_  
_If you're afraid of falling then don't look down_  
_But we took the step, oh, we took the leap_  
_And we'll take what comes, take what comes_

“It’s no secret that she wants me dead,” Kara shrugged, as if such a thing wasn't unusual at all. “And from the way that she’s stockpiling Kryptonite, she’s not going to stop until she succeeds.”

“There was Kryptonite there last night?” Lena asked with genuine concern in her voice, her posture visibly deflating. Lena felt a shiver work its way down her spine as she realized that Kara - Supergirl could have been killed. Lena honestly wished she could go back in time to when she hadn't known of Supergirl's alternate identity, because now she knows she's going to worry about Kara every-time she sees images of the blonde heroine fighting National City's worst scum. One of the only things that Lena has been trying to take solace in, is that Kara is practically invulnerable - indestructible. But knowing that the blonde had been involved in a fight where she was every bit as vulnerable - every bit as human as Lena, made Lena genuinely afraid. She could have lost Kara last night, and she wouldn't have even known about it until this morning.

“I’m not sure if it was real or synthetic, but yeah, there was Kryptonite there last night,” Kara replied in a low voice, as she felt another twinge of pain shoot across her midsection. Lena must’ve seen the pain on Kara’s face, because she stepped forwards. Kara raked in a sharp breath, only managing to hold back the sound of a groan at the last minute. 

“You’re _hurt_ ,” Lena frowned, as she stepped forwards, unable to keep from reaching out for the blonde.

“It’s nothing,” Kara spoke in as even a voice as she could muster, still she couldn't make those words sound convincing, no matter how hard she tried. “Or, at least it’s nothing that some time and some good old solar radiation won’t fix.”

“Here,” Lena said as grabbed a hold of Kara's hand, and carefully led her over to the couch. “Sit.” 

“I’m fine,” Kara murmured obdurately. Sure, she was hurt, but Kara still had her pride. And the very last thing she wanted was for Lena to think of her as being weak. She was Supergirl. She had to be strong in everyone's eyes, even Lena's.

“Don’t be stubborn,” Lena told her, as she tugged on the blonde's hand, trying to get her to acquiesce to her request. “You can accept a little help now and then, Supergirl. It won’t _kill_ you. And if you're worried about how it might be perceived, I promise you that it won’t make me think any less of you. You and Kara - you’re still _my_ hero.”

“Your hero, huh?” Kara laughed, and then subsequently groaned. "I like the sound of that." This time Kara didn't have chance in hell of stopping the noise. She was in genuine pain. “ _Oww_ … Okay, _that_ hurt.” Kara gently lowered herself down onto the comfy sofa she'd come to know so well over the last year. It occurred to her that this was the first time she’d ever sat down in Lena’s office as Supergirl. She was surprised when Lena sat down next to her, instead of sitting down on the other end of the sofa. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Lena asked, as she reached out, her hands unwittingly pressing over Kara's side as she tried to ease Kara back against the cushions. Kara visibly flinched away from other woman's touch, as Lena's hands pressed right over the remnants of Kara's bullet wound. Kara gasped, her jaw twitching as she tried to swallow the sound back down. Lena's expression looked pained, as she felt immediate sympathy for Kara. She hated that her friend was hurt and in pain.

"Sorry," Kara apologized, as Lena looked right at the place where her hand had been the moment before - the place that had caused Kara pain.

"No," Lena cleared her throat, "I should be the one who is apologizing to you. I'm sorry I hurt you. I was just trying to help."

"It's alright," Kara tried not to grimace, "I know you didn't mean it. I know you would never intentionally hurt me."

"What was it, if you don't mind me asking?" Lena questioned as she met Kara's striking blue eyes.

"A bullet wound," Kara told her honestly. She couldn't bear the thought of lying to Lena about anything else. "I'm sure you probably felt the gauze underneath the suit."

"I thought you were supposed to be indestructible," Lena joked, but her tone wasn't one of humor, it was one of sorrow. "I thought you were bullet proof."

"So did I," Kara told her.

"Lex claimed that you were gods - that you had to be stopped because you had too much power. He said that you were extremely dangerous," Lena breathed, as she held Kara's eyes. "He was obsessed with making you human, but you're not _supposed_ to be. You're not supposed to be fragile like the rest of us. You have to be strong, in order to save the world. I need you to be strong."

"Lee," Kara sighed. 

"I don't want to lose you," Lena spoke in a small voice - a broken one. Kara felt her heart break as Lena took her hand in her own. "You and Kara, you're my only friends in National City. I - I can't..."

"Hey, it's okay," Kara said as she started drawing circles on Lena's hand with the pad of her thumb. "I'm going to be fine, Lena. I'm not going anywhere - any time soon. It was just a graze. It'll be healed in less than a day, and I'll be back to being invincible again."

“When I saw the photo of you draped in Agent Danvers’ arms, I feared the worst,” Lena told her, as she pulled her hand out of Kara's. "And now I see that I was right to be worried."

“I assure you,” Kara began with a hint of teasing to her voice, “It’s going to take a lot more than some Kryptonite and a bad beat down to get rid of me, Miss. Luthor.”

“Please,” Lena said as she reached out to place a hand upon Kara’s arm. “It's Lena. I've told you to call me Lena.”

“Lena - Sorry,” Kara blushed, “It’s - a professional habit of mine. I always try and treat people with respect.”

"Supergirl, _you've_   _always_ have treated me with respect," Lena told her honestly, "You've always been so warm to me - even  _after_  I ordered you to get out of my office that one time."

"Yeah," Kara nodded. "Well, I just - I knew where you were coming from. You were hurt, Lena. It's never easy finding out that your parents aren't who you thought they were. I'm not going to hold that against you. You needed time to work everything out."

"I will never understand how you can always be so _kind_ and forgiving," Lena breathed, as she gave Kara's hand a squeeze. "Especially given the sorts of things you've seen over the last couple of years. I've never said this to you before, but you - you mean a lot to me. You're not just a friend, but you're a sort of mentor to me. You've shown me what it means to be selfless - what it means to truly do good in this world. I've decided that I really want to try to be more like you."

"Lena," Kara began. She honestly didn't know what to say. There were so many things that she wanted to say to the woman she loved. But she didn't know if she was actually brave enough to say them.

"You don't have to say anything," Lena finally spoke, sensing that Kara was unable. "Not right now. I just wanted you to know that I admire you. You're one of the strongest people I know Supergirl, and you give me something to aspire to."

"You flatter me, Lena," Supergirl said with a smile. "But I can't say that's it's deserved."

"It is," Lena reassured her. Silence built between them for a long moment. Kara tore her eyes away, from Lena. She couldn't help but wonder if Lena would still say that about her if she knew the truth - if she knew who Supergirl really was.

"Look, I know that you've probably got places to be, but I just want you to know that I will be having words with my mother over what happened, and I'm here for you in whatever capacity that you might need," Lena offered as she gave Kara's arm a squeeze.

"Lena," Kara said as she nervously cleared her throat. "There's something that I need to tell you. Well, a _lot_ of things I need to tell you - actually, but I'll start with this one. Your mother wasn't the one who came after me last night. Okay? I was - I was sort of the one who sought _them_ out, and it backfired. I was trying to help another friend of mine get some answers, and I walked into a trap. To be honest, when I did it, I wasn't exactly thinking about the consequences of my actions or about how it would affect the people I care about if something happened, and I - I'm sorry for that. I feel like I owe you an apology. I'm sorry that I caused you to worry."

“Well, I’ll forgive you,” Lena replied with a gentle smile, “But please, try not to let it happen again. There are a lot of people who care about you, K- Supergirl, and I'm not just talking about me when I say that.”

"I won't let it happen again," Kara promised her. "But I need you to understand something. What I do on a daily basis is dangerous, and I can't promise you that nothing is ever gonna happen to me. There are a _lot_ of bad people out there, Lena, and I know _you_ _know_ that. I'll try to be more careful from now on, but I'm not about to just sit back and let them take over the city either."

Lena opened her mouth to respond. She wanted to tell Kara that she understood, but she wasn't sure if she could. The fact was, she cared about Kara too damned much for her own good, and she was scared to death of what might happen if she lost her best friend to heroics.

Both of their heads turned to the door, as Jess knocked at the glass door with her knuckles. A heartbeat later, and Lena’s assistant was pushing open the large glass door.

“Ma’am,” Jess said as she took in the way that they were sitting together, “Your One o’clock is here.”

“And I believe that would be my cue to leave,” Kara said with a warm smile as she pushed herself to her feet. She could see the regret in Lena’s face at being interrupted. “It’s been good seeing you again, Lena. I’ll try not to be a stranger.”

“Please do,” Lena replied as she stood up. Kara felt the air expelled from her lungs as Lena did the unthinkable and hugged her. She did so with a gentleness that Kara wouldn’t have thought possible. “I know that you’re busy with saving the city and all, but it’s nice to see you every now and again.” And instantly Kara felt like she was on cloud nine.

“I promise to be a better friend,” Kara told her. “Take care of yourself, Lena.” Kara was halfway to the door, before she realized she hadn’t done the one thing she’d came there to do. Kara spun back on her heel, and Lena regarded her with a surprised expression on her face as the blonde headed straight for her. Kara felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she reached up to the hidden pocket in her super-suit and pulled out a small business card emblazoned with the House of El's crest.

“I almost forgot. I wanted to give this to you,” Kara said with a gentle smile. “It’s my emergency number.”

 _We're walking the wire, love_  
_We're walking the wire, love_  
_We couldn't be higher, up_  
_We're walking the wire, wire, wire_

Lena remained frozen, momentarily reeling in shock as Kara pressed the card into Lena’s hand, and closed her fingers around it. “You know – Just in case you ever need to get a hold of me. Of course, if you need her to, Kara can always get word to me, too. But I wanted you to be able to call me if you ever need help.”

“I'll see you,” Kara said as she gave Lena’s hand one final squeeze and headed for the door. Lena had just enough time to call out a quiet farewell, before Kara was out of earshot. Lena slowly unfurled her hand, and stared down at the card in her palm with nothing short of disbelief.

“Thank you,” Lena breathed out, as her heart continued to pound away in her chest. Lena closed her eyes and took a steadying breath, before she glanced up to find Jess still observing her from the doorway.

“Uh, sorry, Jess,” Lena told her as she met her assistant’s gaze, and walked back over to her own desk, “Please send in Mr. Tremaine right away, and apologize for the delay.” Jess gave Lena a nod, and disappeared. Lena used this time alone, as a chance to calm her racing heart, and steel her nerves. 

 _'God, Kara, what are you doing to me?'_  she thought.

* * *

Kara found that she couldn’t resist looking around as she entered one of National City’s finest four-star restaurants. Slowly, her eyes raked over every detail. As Supergirl, it was something she did every time she found herself in a new place. It was her protective instinct at work. If things were to go south, she wanted to know how best to protect the people inside. She observed the people moving in and out, made a note of the exits. She even made a game out of it, trying to memorize every detail. Kara ran a hand over the back of her neck, as she realized that nearly every table in the place was full. That wasn’t a problem necessarily, but it made things a bit trickier. Even with her super-speed she wouldn't be able to clear the place out as fast as she'd like. With a soft exhale, Kara finished her assessment, and allowed herself to focus on other details. As Kara took in the attire of nearly everyone else in the room, the reporter felt extremely underdressed. She was all too aware of how the restaurant's occupants were wearing formal attire, as if to make a statement of their wealth and prestige. Needless to say, they had money and they weren’t afraid to flaunt it. Kara looked down at her pastel sweater, gray pleated skirt, and black flats. Yeah, there was no denying it. She was completely out of place. Kara let out an inward groan, and stepped out of the way as a couple walked past her. Unfortunately, when Lena had mentioned meeting for lunch, Kara hadn’t imagined it would be something quite this nice. Kara’s crystalline blue eyes drifted to the fountain in the middle of the floor, swallowing roughly over the lump in her throat. The fountain _alone_ was a work of art, and Kara could only imagine the sorts of things she hadn’t even seen yet.

Kara let out a tremulous breath and stepped forwards, towards the maître d’. She noted with a flush of her cheeks that his eyes raked slowly up her body, as if he were about to give her a critique of her fashion choices. She tried to ignore the look of disapproval in his eyes, as he met her gaze for the first time.

“Can I help you, Miss?” he asked in a friendly voice – a courteous one.

Kara reached up to adjust her glasses, “Hi, yeah, I – I’m actually supposed to be meeting a friend here for lunch.” Kara’s hand fell back down in front of her, before she started fidgeting with them. It was a nervous habit of Kara Danvers – one that she knew made her seem unassuming. “Her name is -”

“Kara?” Kara turned, as she felt a touch on her arm that sent shivers coursing through her body. And before she had even been able to make a complete one eighty-degree turn, Kara found herself meeting Lena’s bright eyes and warm smile. Kara felt her breath stick in her throat for a fraction of a moment as she took in Lena’s tasteful, but spectacular outfit composed of a black sleeveless blouse, and a form fitting pencil skirt. She noticed with a skipped beat of her heart that Lena had changed outfits since she last saw her - and this particular outfit absolutely blew her away. She could see Lena's black bra peaking out on the sides of the blouse, and Kara felt her mouth go dry at the sight. It was sinful - the way Lena was dressed. Lena's hair was pulled back into a tight bun at the back of her head, and Kara noticed that there wasn't so much as one hair of the brunette's that was out of place.She couldn't help but wonder how on earth Lena always looked so put together. Kara had super-speed for crying out loud, and _she_ couldn't do it.

 _There's nights we had to just walk away_  
_And there's tears we'll cry but those tears will fade_  
_It's a price you pay when it comes to love_  
_And we'll take what comes, take what comes_

“Lena,” Kara felt a smile spread across her face, as Lena’s hand slid from her arm, “Hi! It's good to see you!” Kara would never admit it, but she missed Lena's touch almost instantly. 

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Lena told her, as she pulled Kara into a quick hug. Lena took note of the sharp exhale that this earned her. Kara managed to cover up the sound and wipe the look of pain from her face instantaneously, but Lena had seen enough to draw a very important conclusion. Kara was good, but not _that_ good.

“Of course,” Kara smiled, as she gave Lena another friendly squeeze and then released her, “I wouldn’t miss it!”

“Would you like your usual table, Ms. Luthor?”

“Oh, yes! That would be lovely,” Lena gave the man a grateful smile, “Thank you, Jonathan.” _Interesting_ , Kara thought. So the man who disapproved of her very presence had a name.

“If you would please be so kind as to come with me,” he requested in a polite, muted tone of voice, as he grabbed two menus from behind the podium and led the way into the restaurant.

Kara forgot how to breathe, as she felt Lena’s hand press against the small of her back, silently encouraging Kara to follow. But of course, Lena's contact had the opposite effect, rendering Kara helpless. Kara’s feet remained traitorously affixed to the floor, as the blonde focused on the pressure of the brunette's hand. Kara was sure that Lena must be able to hear her heart pounding, as she felt its pounding in her temples.

“Hey, is everything alright?” Lena questioned as she leant towards Kara. Kara could feel the breath behind Lena’s words just a little too much, and she angled her face away from Lena as she felt a fresh shiver rocket down her spine. Kara didn’t want Lena to see the color flooding into her cheeks, so she reached up and adjusted her glasses on her face, using her forearm to block the sight.

“Uh, yeah,” Kara nodded just a little too vigorously, as she seemingly found her legs again and stepped forwards. “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”

“Of course,” Lena told her, “It happens to the best of us.”

Kara felt her cheeks flush with color all over again, as her ears detected the soft chuckle that followed in their wake. 

 _'She’s trying to kill me,'_ Kara thought to herself silently, ' _She must be_. _Rao, is she flirting? Was Alex right? Does Lena have a thing for me?'_

As they passed by the first tables on the floor, Kara thought that she couldn’t have felt any more out of place if she had actually tried. This place took extravagance to a whole other degree, and Kara could only guess how expensive the food here would be. She knew she’d probably be skipping some meals after this in order to balance out the cost. Together, they walked to the far side of the restaurant, up a winding iron staircase, and into a private room.

 _Feel the wind in your hair_  
_Feel the rush way up here_

The waiting view took Kara’s breath away. It _literally_ took her breath away.

“Would you like to eat out on the balcony?” he asked them. “Or would inside suit you ladies best?”

Kara’s jaw fell open as she stepped towards the balcony. Her mouth was working overtime, but she was aware that no words were coming out.

  
_We're walking the wire, love_  
_We're walking the wire, love_  
_We couldn't be higher, up_  
_We're walking the wire, wire, wire_

“Kara?” Kara could almost hear the amusement in Lena’s voice as she stepped closer. Then Lena turned towards the maître d, and spoke, “Oh my, I think the spectacular view has rendered her speechless. But It’s very nice out today, I think we’ll be just fine out on the balcony.”

Kara turned, and gasped as she felt Lena take her by the hand and lead her outside. Lena dragged Kara along in her wake, seemingly unaware of how Kara's body was reacting to the contact. And Kara tried desperately to ignore how perfect Lena's hand felt in her own.

 _Yep_ , Kara decided finally, _She’s definitely trying to kill me._

It wasn’t until Kara took her seat that Kara could even breathe again. Kara looked over the side of the building, and imagined what it would feel like to just jump off of the edge. She imagined how good it would feel. She almost wished that she could share that feeling – that experience – with Lena. But with a start, she realized she already had - as Supergirl. Two Cadmus agents had once thrown Lena from her balcony, and Kara had needed to rescue her. If Kara hadn’t been on the phone when it happened, Kara shudders to think about what might have happened.

 _So look out down below_  
_Look out down below_  
_Look out down below_  
_Walking the wire, wire, wire_  
_So look out down below_

“It’s a nice view isn’t it?” Lena asked her, and Kara’s head whipped back around to face her. For a moment, Kara had honestly forgotten she wasn’t alone. 

“It’s beautiful,” Kara agreed, but her eyes weren’t looking at the view. They were looking straight into Lena’s eyes. God, it was so cliche that Kara didn't even want to admit that she'd fallen pray to it, but she had. Kara noticed Lena’s eyes flash briefly in the sunlight, before the other woman shyly averted her gaze. Lena bit her bottom lip softly, and Kara's eyes were instantly drawn to it. It was almost subtle enough to go undetected, but with Kara’s impeccable vision, she noticed. Lena's deep red lipstick contrasted perfectly with her pale skin, and made the brunette's lips all the more appealing. She wished that she could take a picture of Lena in that moment, with the sunlight illuminating her skin and her eyes. The sight honestly felt like being wrapped in a warm blanket, and Kara was unbelievably content. “You look beautiful today, Lena,” Kara told her finally, after daring herself to be bold for once in her life.

“I – “ Lena smiled a bright mesmerizing smile, and Kara felt her heart flutter at the sight, “Thank you, Kara. That’s really sweet of you to say.” Then. “You look quite beautiful as well, if I might be so bold as to say it.”

Kara laughed as she looked away, averting her gaze, “That’s okay. You really don’t have to feed me compliments right now, Lena. I mean - I know I’m like _way_ underdressed for this. I just ran out of time getting ready and -.”

“Kara,” Lena sighed, as she reached over the table in order to give Kara's hand a comforting squeeze, drawing Kara's gaze once more. “You know I’m not one to feed people lines just to make them feel better about themselves, so when I say that you look beautiful today, _I mean it_ , okay?”

“Yeah! Okay! Thank you,” Kara smiled as she held Lena’s gaze. Lena felt her cheeks flush, and let go of Kara’s hand, picking up her menu in its place. She used the screen to hide the sudden feelings that were racing through her mind – all feelings that were made more prevalent by Kara’s touch. 

Kara cleared her throat nervously, and picked up her own, perusing the folder and its many choices.

“So,” Kara hedged, as she regarded the menu with detached interest. “How have you been? How is work going?” 

Kara noticed the grimace on Lena’s face when the brunette CEO lowered the menu, but in no time at all, Lena’s guarded smile was back on her face.

“That good?” Kara asked with a soft, affectionate smile.

"Yeah," Lena groaned, "If I thought people looked down on me before, they most certainly do now. People clearly blame me for what happened."

Kara opened her mouth to respond, to defend Lena's honor, but Lena didn't let her get that far.

“And that's not even the worst of it! I'm pretty sure that the board is trying to drive me out of my own company,” Lena told her with an exasperated huff. “I’ve told them repeatedly that I don't want to move forwards with the production of the alien detection device, but they insist on rolling it out _anyways_. It’s all about money, you see. They want the additional revenue, but – “ Lena seemed to notice the change in Kara’s demeanor, because she stopped and let out a deep sigh. Kara set down the menu in front of her, and gave Lena her sole attention. She could sense Lena was upset, and she wanted to help her best friend in any way that she could. Still, Kara’s uneasiness must have shone on her face, because Lena read her like an open book.

“I’m so sorry, Kara, I – I know how you feel about the device,” Lena apologized, “And I probably shouldn’t have brought it up. That was stupid of me – careless even.”

“No!” Kara nearly jumped out of her seat, her response was so emphatic, “No, it’s fine. I mean – I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but it’s okay. I understand that you have a business to run, and although I don’t agree with using detection devices because I think it will divide us as a country – or as a people, I do understand that a lot a people want to know the kind of people that they’re surrounding themselves with. I don't want my opinions to factor into your decisions, especially if you feel differently about it.” 

 _Oh, I'll take your hand when thunder roars_  
_And I'll hold you close, I'll stay the course_  
_I promise you from up above_  
_That we'll take what comes, take what comes_  
_Love_

“I – I don’t,” Lena said in a hushed voice, as she started to play with the napkin at the side of her plate while avoiding Kara's penetrating stare.

“You don’t what?” Kara asked her just as quietly.

“I just want you to know that I don’t feel differently,” Lena said as she looked up and straight into Kara’s eyes. “You know I used to. I’m sure you remember that particular conversation between us, well. But I just want to get it out there, and say that I don’t feel that way _anymore_.” 

“You don’t?” Kara breathed in genuine surprise. She wondered what could have caused Lena's change of heart. And for a fraction of a moment, Kara wondered if it had been her. Had she changed Lena's mind somehow?

“I think, more than anything, that I wish people didn’t feel like they had to hide,” Lena told her gently her voice full of an undeniable warmth. She was appealing to Kara on a deeper level, hoping that maybe Kara would tell her the truth. “Because nobody should have to hide who they really are, Kara. They should be accepted in the way that you – that you accepted me. You had no reason to trust me - no reason to believe in me when no one else did, but you did and I will never be able to thank you for that enough.”

"I can appreciate what you're saying," Kara told her, "But I'm afraid that it just isn't that easy."

"Kara," Lena's voice was sympathetic as she met Kara's eyes.

"Do you realize how many aliens live in constant fear?" Kara asked her, "Do you know how many people live in fear of persecution? It's not an irrational fear, either. In a perfect world, we would all be able to live in harmony and fear would have no place in our lives, but we _don't_ live in a perfect world. And It's not just people like Lex and your mother that make them afraid, it's not knowing who they can trust - not knowing who their allies are."

"They can trust me. I will be their ally, Kara," Lena spoke with overwhelming conviction. "I would happily go to bat for them - for the good ones anyway. I've been trying so hard to make amends for my past mistakes. And if I have my way, I'm going to undo all of the harm that my family has wrought upon them. You can believe that."

"Lena," Kara found herself shaking her head. "It's not _you_ who I'm worried about. I know you would never do them any harm. You've proved that time and time again. But there are plenty of people out there who _would._ They would exile aliens, or even _kill_ them, if given the chance." Kara took a deep breath. "And I've gotten the research and the proof to back it all up."

"I didn't realize that you felt that way. I mean, you've always been a proponent of equal rights for all, but I've never heard you sound so passionate about it before. Apart from our debate, you've always kept it toned down."

"I relate to them a lot," Kara explained in a quiet voice. "I guess that it helps that I've also had the benefit of seeing things from the other side."

"You mean you -" Lena began, finally believing she'd caught Kara in a lie. Then it hit her like a punch to the gut. "Oh! You're talking about Mon-El."

"Yeah," Kara nodded.

"Did you know that he was an alien, when you started dating him?" Lena questioned.

"I did," Kara revealed, "Soon after we met, we were thrust into a situation in which it became _very_ apparent he was not from this planet. Because of that, I didn't trust him. Not initially. But I quickly realized then that I had my own biases - things that I picked up from my own upbringing that I wasn't aware of. I learned to let those things go, and I - I fell in love with him. Of course, I didn't know he was a Daxamite Prince when we started dating, but I found out about that _eventually_. And, well, you know the rest."

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" Lena asked. "Were you worried that I wouldn't accept him? Accept you? Because of who my family was?"

"No," Kara shook her head, "No, Lena. It's not that. It's just that Mon-El and I were always so on-again, off-again, that I wasn't sure it would last. And after what happened with Jack, I just didn't want to hurt you by talking about it."

"You could have told me," Lena spoke calmly. "Kara, I never want you to feel like you have to keep things from me."

"I know," Kara swallowed, "I know, and I'm sorry. I've always struggled with sharing certain things about myself, and I'm working on it, I promise. It's just...it's hard to change after living your whole life a certain way, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I know," Lena agreed.

“I can't help it,” Kara breathed as she held Lena’s gaze. "It's hard when you're constantly hyperaware of every little thing going on around you. I was always different growing up, and much as I tried to fit in I – “

“What?” Lena pressed, as Kara cut off abruptly. 

“I never could,” Kara finished. “The truth is, I _still_ feel like I don’t belong - like I'll never belong here. There’s a song I relate to a lot. And it’s about – about being lonely. There’s this one line that I just relate to on a personal level, and I don’t think I could ever put the feeling any better.”

“And what line is that?” Lena questioned patiently. Her interest in Kara was genuine.

“Alone, in a crowded room, the one string that’s out of tune,” Kara recited from memory, her pitch changing as she sang the words in a soft voice. “Trust me, I feel like that too.” Kara noticed the way that Lena’s breath caught on Kara’s words. 

“That’s beautiful,” Lena spoke after a weighted silence.

“It’s sad,” Kara replied with a knowing look in her eyes.

“Ah,” Lena nodded, “But it’s still beautiful  _nonetheless_.” Lena took a levied breath. "Kara, there's something I think that you should know."

"And what is that?"

"You're not alone in feeling that way, because I'm pretty sure no one ever  _feels_ normal," Lena revealed, "We're all out of tune with everyone else around us. And if anyone ever makes you feel otherwise, it's a lie. Some people have gotten really good at faking it, but I promise you, you're not alone. I, for one, have felt like that most of my life."

"That means a lot," Kara said gratefully, "Thank you."

"So you didn't have many friends growing up?"

"No," Kara admitted, before going into further detail, "Sometimes I would come home from school and would lock myself away in my room, because I couldn't bear to look Jeremiah and Eliza in the eye. They would always ask whether I had made any friends, and I felt like I was disappointing them. I couldn't bear to lie to them." Kara let out a quavering breath as she recalled how difficult her first days on Earth had been. "I just - I couldn't seem to fit in. No one seemed to want to be my friend. I was just too different." Lena couldn't believe this. After all, how could anyone not want to be friends with Kara Danvers? Kara was the embodiment of sunshine. She was everything good in this world and Lena can't imagine not having her in her life. "The first real friend I made wasn't until high school. His name was Kenny, Kenny Lee. He was just so _kind_ , Lena. We ate lunch together, and bonded over the fact that we were both outsiders. He - He was smart - easily one of the smartest people I've ever met. He actually figured out a way to download pictures directly onto his computer from his telescope." Kara had a glazed look in her eyes as she talked about him. "I actually liked him an awful lot, and I - I think he liked me too. But we never got to explore anything, because he - he was murdered when we were seventeen."

Lena nearly spit out her drink. She choked on it for several seconds before she managed to swallow it down. "What?" Then, with alarm in her voice. "Oh my god, Kara. I - I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say."

"It's - It's okay," Kara swallowed. "I mean, it took me a long time to get over it. But it helps that I got closure. Alex and I managed to catch his killer. The pictures Kenny took actually helped in apprehending his killer. His killer is currently serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole. He'll never know what it is to be free, again."

"Still, it must be so hard to suffer a loss like that," Lena's voice was thick. "I can't even imagine losing a friend like that." 

"It was hard. And it certainly didn't help that I had just lost the only people in my life that I could really be myself around. The Danvers - they tried to be everything that I needed, but it wasn't easy for me. I lost Kenny that night, but I gained a sister in Alex. If it wasn't for her, I don't know what I would have done. Alex was really the one that broke through my walls. She taught me how to open myself up again."

"She sounds pretty amazing," Lena smiled.

"She is," Kara nodded. "I think the two of you would get along really well, actually." Lena wasn't so sure about this. Their first meeting (it was actually their second meeting) had been a bit awkward. Lena had been a bit territorial, until she realized Alex was actually Kara's sister and not her girlfriend. Then, she and Alex had come to some sort of unspoken agreement. There was room in Kara's life for the both of them. Still, Lena felt uneasy around Alex. Alex could be _very_ intimidating, even when she was trying not to be.

 _We're walking the wire, love_  
_We're walking the wire, love_  
_We couldn't be higher, up_  
_We're walking the wire, wire, wire_

“So,” Kara breathed, as she felt Lena’s foot brush against her leg under the table. Kara was acutely aware of the fact that Lena didn’t pull it away. She could feel the heel of Lena’s shoe scrape along her calf down to the very _molecule_ , and yet she couldn’t bear to pull her leg away.

“So…” Lena let the words, and the feelings between them linger for a moment. “We were talking about L-Corp.”

“Yeah,” Kara nodded.

“Look, I know this is going to make you angry, but I - I used to think that aliens were something to be documented and catalogued. I guess you can chalk it up to being raised in the Luthor household, but I never really saw them as human beings.” Lena breathed, so quietly that it was almost hard for Kara to pick out the words. “Of course, now I understand just how dangerous a concept that really is, but-”

“We’re talking about _people_ , Lena,” Kara said with a tinge of anger to her voice. “ _Good_ _people_ like Mon-El and Supergirl. They deserve to be treated as such.”

“I know,” Lena replied with a depth and passion to her voice.

“I know,” Lena told Kara again for emphasis. “God, I know. That’s what I’m saying – We have to find a way to stop them.” That got Kara’s attention. “Some members of the board are talking about taking it further, Kara. The board of directors want to expand upon Lex’s ideas and create some kind of an alien database, so that they can pinpoint alien weaknesses, and exploit them. They think that it will be easy to do, with the alien registry already in place.” Kara closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath. “I told them no, but I’m just afraid that they’re going to go behind my back and do it themselves. When I restructured L-Corp, I did so because I wanted it to be a force for good, not - Not _this_.”

“As much as I try, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stop the alien detection device from going to market," Lena told Kara of her worst fear, "After what happened with the Daxamite invasion, the board thinks that people have a right to know who they’re close to. They claim that people have a right to know who among them isn’t _human_. And now - now I don’t know what to do. I’m torn.” 

“Lena,” Kara began slowly. “I can’t believe I’m saying this right now, but I think you have to go forward with the production of the device.” Kara cleared her throat, before deciding to elaborate. “Because even though it could be considered dangerous to the alien community, it’s _still_ better than what might happen if you’re ousted as L-Corp’s CEO. I mean, that would be an utter and complete disaster.”

“But – “ Lena protested.

“But nothing,” Kara sighed as she reached up to knead at the flesh of her forehead. “Look, I need to run this all by Supergirl, but I’m pretty sure she’d feel the same way. You’ve got to protect yourself first and foremost, Lena. We’ll figure out the other stuff somewhere along the way.”

“Kara,” Lena’s voice quavered as she met Kara’s steely blue gaze. Still, it didn’t last long. Kara tore her eyes away, knowing that she couldn’t afford to show Lena weakness or doubt. "I don't know if I can do that. I can't go back to being that person. She doesn't exist anymore."

“I – I’ll help you,” Kara promised as she gave Lena’s hand a squeeze over the table, “I’ll - I'll even write another article about it, and try to give it a more positive spin this time. That should help, right?” 

“Kara, are you sure you’re okay with doing something like that?” Lena asked. “I don’t want you to get wrapped up in the middle of this.” 

“No,” Kara said resolutely, “No it’s good that I’m involved. I’m glad you told me, Lena.”

“Of course,” Lena replied, but the tone fell slightly flat. "You're really sure?" Lena asked her one final time, giving Kara the chance to change her mind.

"I'm positive," Kara murmured in confirmation. 

“Then I’ll call you in order to set up a time for you to come out to the production facility next week,” Lena told her with a pained expression on her face. “But for now we should probably move on to better topics, and not spend all of our time on ones that are so overwhelmingly depressing.”

“Well, we could continue our vigorous debate on the plausibility of a Zombie apocalypse,” Kara told her in a chipper tone. “You seemed to like that debate.”

“I just don’t understand why you’re so against the idea,” Lena told her with a huff, and a teasing smile. “I mean aliens turned out to be real, so why on earth should a virus that turns people into the undead be any different?” Lena asked with a sparkle in her eyes. 

“Well, for one, it’s because - “ Kara didn’t get a chance to even start her argument, because the waiter chose that opportune time to interrupt them both.

“Ladies,” he asked as he offered them a small bow. “Have you decided on what you would like this afternoon?”

Kara watched adoringly as Lena gave her answer in a perfect French accent, and handed the menu to the waiter. Kara felt her cheeks grow hot under Lena’s gaze as the woman returned her attention in kind. Kara had to resist the urge to smack herself on the forehead, as she suddenly realized that she had never _actually_ chosen what she’d like. Finally, Kara looked up at the waiter and murmured a polite, “I think that I’ll just have what she’s having.” She handed the folder back to him and gave him a gentle smile, “Thank you.”

Lena’s only response to this was chortling laughter. It was so uncharacteristic of the brunette CEO that Kara almost didn't know what to make of it.

“What?” Kara asked her shortly, as the waiter walked away with a curious expression on his face. Even _he_ didn’t seem to know what to make of it.

“Man, you are going to be _so_ pissed when I tell you that what you just ordered has kale in it,” Lena told her, as laughter bubbled up in her throat. " _And_ couscous."

“No!” Kara exclaimed in disbelief. “Lena, tell me you’re joking. You’re just joking, right?”

“No, I’m really not,” Lena told her seriously. “God, you should really see the look on your face right now. It's priceless.” 

“I _hate_ you,” Kara told her, but the warm smile on her face and the sparkle in her bright blue eyes seemed to contradict that fact.

“You _don’t_ ,” Lena told her confidently. “Just admit it, Kara Danvers. You _love_ me.”

“Ugh,” Kara groaned as she lifted up a hand up to adjust her glasses, “You’re insufferable.” She could feel her cheeks flushing with color.

“And you _love_ me,” Lena teased. “Now, come on. Just say it. I _need_ to hear you say it.”

“Fine,” Kara huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest in a pouting gesture. “I love you. _There_ , are you _happy_ now?” 

 _So look out down below_  
_Look out down below_  
_Look out down below_  
_Walking the wire, wire, wire_  
_So look out down below_  

“You are such a five year-old,” Lena told her.

“Lena,” Kara huffed.

“You know,” Lena smiled brightly, knowing that her smile could make Kara weak in the knees. “If it’s any consolation, I love you too.”

 _We're walking the wire_  
_We're walking the wire_  
_We're walking the wire, wire, wire_

“I just want to get this out there, right now,” Kara said as her hands fell away from her arms, “I may _love_ you, but I’m not eating kale for you _again_. And _nothing_ you say or do is going to change that fact.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave a comment on your way out, and check back for more, soon!


	4. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's mood takes a bit of a dark turn. Lena rescues her from a bad situation. Alex and Lena form an alliance! Also, Lena's suspicions that Kara is also Supergirl are confirmed by an unlikely source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or any part of the DC universe. All writing is done for enjoyment purposes only!
> 
> Hey, guys, here's the next installment. There are two things that I wanted to say. The first is that there's a bit of a time jump from the last chapter to this one. The second, is that this chapter is a bit darker than the others so far. It's not necessarily going to be a pattern for the story, but I needed to set up a few plot points in order for the story to progress in the way that I wanted it to.
> 
> Finally, thank you all so much for reading! Your comments, kudos, and bookmarks mean so much to me! I'm glad that you're liking this story! I love you all! Thank you!

_Laying in the silence_  
_Waiting for the sirens_  
_Signs, any signs I'm alive still_  
_I don't wanna lose it_  
_I'm not getting through this_  
_Hey, should I pray, should I fray_  
_To myself till we're gone_  
_To a saviour who can?_

“Kara?” J’onn Jones’ voice was soft and sympathetic as he tentatively sat down on the edge of the rooftop next to Kara and looked out over the chaos below. His hand reached out to as if give her shoulder a squeeze, but hesitated at the last moment. The father in him desperately wanted to offer comfort to the extraordinary woman he’d come to know like a daughter, but he also sensed that there was a delicate balance – a fine line between making things better and making things infinitely worse. Kara’s vision blurred at the edges with all of the tears that she was now holding back. Her body shook with the pain she felt. Glimpses of the memory from earlier in the evening flashed through her head repeatedly in a sort of loop. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get the image of the little boy’s lifeless eyes out of her head. She had literally been looking into the boy's eyes as his soul left his body, and the feelings that resulted from that experience, haunted her. For the first time in her life, Kara saw herself as the monster. He had died because of something she had done. She had been so focused on fighting the alien menace that she had lost sight of what really mattered, and because of that, a little boy was dead. Kara choked on the breath in her lungs as she recalled the mother’s screams of agony and of anguish. Kara visibly shook her head as she tried to shake herself out of it. But she couldn’t – she couldn’t stop blaming herself. And this time, there was no else to blame but herself. There was no Red Kryptonite clouding her senses or her thoughts this time. It was just Kara – Kara Zor-El and her bad decisions costing the lives of innocents.

There had been many moments over the past couple of years, in which Kara had asked herself if the effort and the monumental responsibility was worth it. People had put her on a pedestal, and Kara couldn’t help but feel as if it were impossible to live up to such an image. She wanted to. She absolutely tried to be the hero that people saw in her, but more often than not, she was failing. It seemed as if they were fighting a battle that just couldn’t be won. Kara squeezed her eyes shut, willing the pain in her chest to go away.

 _Unbreak the broken_  
_Unsay these spoken words_  
_Find hope in the hopeless_  
_Pull me out of the train wreck_  
_Unburn the ashes_  
_Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet_  
_Pull me out the train wreck_  
_Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out_  
_Pull me out, pull me out_

Kara wrapped her arms around herself and continued to stare off into the city. But it was the gaze of someone who was not seeing much of anything. J’onn swallowed, over the sudden lump in his throat. He knew that it was her way of building a wall between herself and the world around her. Kara’s shoulders shook as she tried to hold back the tears. Her throat burned like it was on fire, and Kara could no longer hold them back. Tears began to slide down her cheeks, and drip from her chin below. She knew that there were no words that could accurately describe the pain that she felt. Kara squeezed her eyes shut, her mind replaying what had just happened in the streets below. Kara, released her hold on her own body and reached up to rub furiously at the contorted features while the tears continued to fall and streaked down her cheeks.

He was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him, and now he was gone. Her shoulders shook harder. It was days like this that made Kara wonder if the world were truly any better for having her in it. She didn’t know if she could handle doing it anymore. It didn’t seem fair that she should be the one who decides who gets to live and who dies. But in many cases, she literally had people’s lives in her hands, and she had to decide. People were dependent on her to make the right decision, and today she made the wrong one. Today she had made the wrong choice, and because of that, a little boy had died. She couldn’t help but feel as if their faith in her had been misplaced. She didn’t think that people would make that same mistake again.

Kara’s elbows rested on the muscular part of her thighs just above her knee, as she sat hunched over. All she had to do was lean a little more forwards, and she would plummet right off of the side of the building. In fact, she had to resist the impulse to do so. She and J’onn sat in silence for a few minutes. She was waiting for him to give up and walk away, but he knew her too well. He refused to leave her alone. Finally, the tears stopped coming and Kara hastily wiped away all evidence of their existence. She lifted her hand and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to ease the tension that was building behind her eyes. The headache that she felt building behind them would not go away. With another stunted breath, she let go, and her hand fell back to her side. She remained disconsolate as she started down into the city below her feet. J’onn looked down to see several news vans arriving and knew that Kara would want to get away from the scene before reporters started rolling. He let out another sigh as reached over to rub her back. “Kara, talk to me,” J’onn pleaded. “I can see you’re hurting. Please just talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Kara choked out, while her hands curled up on themselves. She continued to purposely avoiding J’onn’s eyes. She looked away again, staring into the distance. Her breaths still came in uneven rasps, but her chest didn’t feel as tight as it had only moments before. Her heart ached though.

“A little boy died today,” Kara managed after a long uncomfortable silence, “But not only that, he died because of something I did. It’s my _fault_.” Kara cleared her throat and sniffled at the same time, hoping that what she didn’t sound pathetic. It took a lot of effort just to regulate her breathing. She took a deep quavering breath and started crying all over again. “It hurts. It hurts so much.”

“There’s nothing that you could have done,” J’onn tried to tell her, but Kara wouldn’t hear it.

“Don’t say that!” Kara hissed angrily, as she turned to meet his gaze. He could see her jaw clench in barely controlled anger. “Don’t you dare let me off of the hook like that! I don’t want that, J’onn! Not from you! Look, you’ve got to be my Dad now, okay? So you’ve got to tell me to do better! I _should_ _have_ done better.”

“Kara,” J’onn sighed. “Listen to me. You did everything that you could – apart from being in two places at once. What happened today was tragic and heartbreaking, and I know that it’s going to stick with you for a long time. But you’ve got to remind yourself why you do this. You saved countless lives today, Kara. Look, you made a tough call, but there’s no one more adept at doing that than you. You always make the right choice – always.”

“You’re wrong,” Kara shook her head. “I got it wrong _today_ , J'onn. And the fact that you're trying to tell me otherwise, is making me feel _so_ angry. Why can't you just admit that I did something wrong? Why can't you yell at me, like you yell at Alex?”

"Kara," J'onn sighed. 

"Why?!" Kara burst out angrily.

"Because you're already giving yourself a harder time than I ever could!" He shouted, before catching himself. He let out another levied breath, and then spoke. "You're ripping yourself apart for doing your job, Kara - for something that you had no control over."

 _Underneath the bad blood_  
_We still got a sanctum_  
_Home, still at home, still at home, yeah_  
_It's not too late to build it back_  
_'Cause a one in a million chance_  
_Is still a chance, still a chance_  
_And I would take those odds_

“I understand that you’re struggling with a lot – more than lot of people will know in an entire lifetime,” J’onn told her quietly. “But I have faith in Kara Danvers.”

“Kara Danvers was a mistake,” Kara told him finally, her eyes flashing in hurt. “You know what’s funny? I spent my entire life on this earth trying to be human, wanting _desperately_ to fit in, but I never could. I thought I’d finally found that balance – the means to make it work, but it just _doesn’t_. You can’t hold the weight of the world on your shoulders and try to be human at the same time, J’onn. It just doesn’t _work_. You wanna know why? It’s because the emotions rip you apart, and leave you a hollowed-out version of yourself.”

J’onn sighed, and looked almost pained for a moment as he let Kara’s words sink in.

 

 

_Unbreak the broken_  
_Unsay these spoken words_  
_Find hope in the hopeless_  
_Pull me out the train wreck_  
_Unburn the ashes_  
_Unchain the reactions_  
_I'm not ready to die, not yet_  
_Pull me out the train wreck_  
_Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out_  
_Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out_

“If that’s truly what you think, then I’m afraid of what happens next,” J’onn breathed. “It’s because of Kara Danvers that I could trust Supergirl to make the tough decisions. Despite what you’re saying, being human doesn’t make you weak, Kara. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Being human - being vulnerable makes you strong. Your capacity for love is what drives you to make the hardest sacrifices that anyone can possibly make. Surely you _still_ know what it means to love, Kara.”

“I don’t know if I can deal with the pain anymore, J’onn,” Kara admitted finally. “How many more people do I have to lose? How many more people do I have to forsake in order to be the hero? I – I can’t do this.”

“You have to!” J’onn said passionately, as his emotions got the better of him. “Because the world _depends_ on you for its very survival, Kara. Look, I know that it’s hard right now. It may even seem unbearable, but I know you can make it through this. You have so many people that love you. And what you need to do is use that – use _us_ – until you find yourself again. ” He paused. “We’re here, Kara. That’s what I came to say. We’re here for you, and we love you. Please just stop shutting us out. Because if you keep doing that – if you keep isolating yourself like this, then it’s only going to get worse. And eventually, you will reach a point where no one can help you.” Kara let out a shuddering breath as she realized he was right. "You can't afford to let it get to that point, Kara, because it's that much harder to come back from. Right now, you need to do some serious soul searching. But mainly, you need to talk about how you're feeling. I - I'm not saying that it has to be me that you talk to, or even Alex. But you need to open yourself up to _someone_. Trust me, It will help you more than you know."

 _You can say what you like 'cause see I would die for you_  
_I'm down on my knees and I need you to be my God_  
_Be my help, be a saviour who can_

“I’ll leave you alone,” J’onn said finally, satisfied that he'd said his piece, “If that’s truly what you wish for tonight. But I expect you to show up tomorrow.” Kara nodded, and in another heartbeat he was gone. Kara doesn’t know how long she sat there in silence, before she felt her phone start to go off in her pocket. She knew without a doubt that it was Alex calling and swallowed hard, her throat feeling unbearably tight. She didn’t understand why she still kept trying. Her sister’s constant pressure to talk had only made things worse. Kara didn’t know how to explain what she was going through. She couldn’t bear to be the one that pulled Alex away from Maggie for another night. Kara declined the call, and pushed herself off of the edge of the roof.

 _Unbreak the broken_  
_Unsay these reckless words_  
_Find hope in the hopeless_  
_Pull me out the train wreck_  
_Unburn the ashes_  
_Unchain the reactions_  
_I'm not ready to die, not yet_  
_Pull me out of the train wreck_

  
She let herself fall for several euphoric moments, before the ground started to rush up at her far too quickly, and Kara had to stop her descent. Kara felt the telltale lurch of her stomach as she shot forwards, and started weaving her way between the buildings downtown. She made her way back towards home, and flew through the window and back into the apartment. She changed into one of her more revealing outfits, and flew back out – into the night. She flew without thought, letting her mind carry her to a place she hadn’t been in far too long. She dropped into the alleyway with an earth-shattering thud, and walked towards the red door. The tremors were still working their way through the earth as Kara walked up to the bright red painted door. She knocked on its metallic surface with her knuckles. A window in the door slid open, before a disembodied voice asked her a single question.

“Password?” the gruff voice requested on the opposite side of the door.

“Are you being serious right now?” Kara asked in an annoyed huff as she pulled off her glasses and let her hair fall down around her shoulders, as if to remind him of her real identity. “Or do I need to break down the door? I assure you I can do it – easily.”

“Supergirl, my apologies,” he spoke before the door was opened to her. Kara stormed in. Kara gathered her hair back up into its elastic, and slid her glasses back onto her face. She looked around, taking in the subtle differences in décor since it’s use as a base during the Daxamite invasion. She walked over to the bar and met the eyes of the bartender, before she finally sat down on a stool with a graceful swagger.

“I'd like the strongest stuff you’ve got in the joint,” Kara told him as she pulled out a wad of cash, “And keep em’ coming.”

“Are you sure about that?” he asked skeptically.

“I’ve had a really _really_ bad day,” is all that Kara said in answer. Before she had so much as another chance to speak another word, a drink was being dropped in front of her. Kara lifted it, gave it a single sniff, and then downed it in one go, wincing at the taste as it went down. She coughed several times and swallowed, as she felt the liquid grow warm inside of her. She decided with genuine surprise that it was not an altogether unpleasant feeling. In fact, she rather liked it. Kara tried not to look back at their spot – at their booth, behind her right shoulder blade. Instead she just downed shot after shot after shot – throwing them back just as soon as the bartender dropped them down in front of her. She couldn’t help but think that Mon-El would be proud of her.

 _If I'm underneath the table_  
_Then pour me another drink_  
_Oh, I don't want to remember_  
_I don't even want to think_

In no time at all, Kara was starting to feel the dramatic effects of the alcohol. Kara felt her vision start to blur at the edges, before everything became distorted. Kara let her head fall onto her arms as she squeezed her eyes shut. When had the room started spinning exactly? Kara honestly didn’t know. It might've been after the fourth or the fifth drink. She was way passed that now.

“Another one, please,” Kara said through a slur of words as she lifted her head from the bar. But she didn’t get very far, before giving up and letting her head drop onto the bar with a dull thud. Kara groaned. She felt warm and fuzzy all over. She wasn't used to this feeling - this sensation. 

 _I'm a hazard to myself_  
_On a fast ride to perdition_  
_Oh, I'm heading straight to hell_

“Sorry, but I’m afraid I’m gonna have to cut you off,” the bartender said gently as he reached out to touch her shoulder . “You can barely lift your head. Is there someone you can call for a ride, or should I call you a cab?” She noticed how he didn't give her much of an option. She wouldn't be flying home, that was for certain.

“Uh,” Kara’s mind seemed to be working overtime for a minute, before she ultimately seemed to come up with an answer. “I’ll - call someone.”

Before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, Kara was pulling out her phone and was glancing at its display with severely distorted vision.

 _'Whoa_ ,' Kara thought, ' _that’s not good_. _This is very disorienting."_

She handed her phone to the bartender. “Uhh, It should be speed-dial 1 on my phone,” Kara asked him. “Could you?”

“Sure,” he nodded, and hit a button, before handing the device back to her. She couldn’t quite make out the letters of the name on its display through her blurred vision, but she assumed it was her sister she was calling.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Alex,” Kara slurred. “Oh – “ Kara groaned loudly, as she realized it just a split second too late. “Oh shit. You’re not – You’re not Alex.”

“Kara?” Lena’s concerned voice met her ears, and Kara winced. “Kara, is that you?”

“Lena, hey,” Kara felt nauseated as she realized that the bartender must’ve hit speed-dial 2 by mistake. She sounded almost distraught, as she said, “I am so sorry to bother you. I – I uh must’ve dialed your number by mistake. I mean – not that it was a mistake. _Rao_ , I always love to hear your voice, but -“

“Kara?” Lena frowned, while she lifted a hand to signal her assistant. “Kara, you’re rambling.”

“Shit, _sorry_ ,” Kara said as she started to lose a handle on her emotions. “I should just – I’ll let you go now. I – I’m really sorry for the intrusion. I’m sure whatever you’re doing is a lot more important than dealing with _my_ issues. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

“Kara, hey, slow down for a second,” Lena breathed as she jumped out of her chair and immediately began gathering her things, “It’s not an imposition, okay? But you’re kind of freaking me out here.” Lena admitted aloud. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

Kara hated herself, as she couldn’t stop the sob from escaping her throat. “ _Everything_ ,” Kara breathed, and Lena could only hear the blonde’s shuddering breaths as the blonde struggled to hold herself together.

“Kara, where are you? Can you tell me where you are?” Lena asked, as Jess pushed her way into Lena’s office.

“You needed something?” Jess asked as she met Lena’s eyes.

“Yes,” Lena nodded. “Could you please get a car ready for me? I need to go help a friend of mine.” Then, Lena turned her attention back to her phone, knowing Jess would take care of her request. “Kara? Kara, are you still with me?”

“Yeah,” Kara managed to choke out. “I’m still here.”

“Where are you? What’s the address?” Lena questioned. She didn’t want to admit how afraid she was for Kara’s safety, at that moment. All she knew was that Kara was not in a good state of mind – not at all.

“I – I don’t know,” Kara whispered. “I don’t know the address.” This was true. Kara had always flown to the bar where she is currently. But she knew that she couldn’t exactly _tell_ Lena that.

“Then can you hand me over to someone who can tell me?” Lena said patiently.

“I –“ Kara trailed off momentarily before she finished the thought, “Just a second.” Lena heard a commotion of some sort, before a masculine voice filled the line in place of Kara’s.

“Hello?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes, hi,” Lena greeted, “This is Kara’s friend speaking. I was wondering if you could do me a favor and tell me the address, so that I can come pick her up.” Lena let out a sigh of relief as he rattled off an address, and for the first time in almost a minute, Lena felt like she could breathe.

“Thank you,” Lena told him, as she scribbled it down on a small piece of paper, “Thank you very much. I’ll be there shortly. Please don’t let her leave, or go somewhere with anyone else, okay? I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Lena let out a curse as the phone-call abruptly disconnected, without any confirmation that her requests had been heard. Lena threw her phone into her purse, and bent down to pluck her heels from under the floor. She balanced against the desk with one hand, while she started pulling one of her heels on with the other. She repeated the process for the opposite side, and grabbed her purse from the desk before she rushed out the door of her office – her work lying forgotten on its surface.

“The car should be ready by the time you get downstairs,” Jess told her as she hurried passed, and Lena gave her a grateful nod before bidding her a good night. Lena rushed into the elevator and hit the button for the main lobby. She didn’t want to think about how many times she mashed the button, before the doors finally started closing. Lena felt like she couldn’t breathe, as the elevator slowly whirred to life. It seemed like it took forever before the elevator actually started moving downwards. She glanced down at her watch, once twice, three times, before letting out an impatient growl. Kara _needed_ her Damn it!

“Come on, Come on, Come on,” Lena breathed as her eyes darted up to the lights located to either side of the elevator door. She watched as it changed from 25 to 24 to 23, and beyond. But she can’t ever remember it taking quite so long for the elevator to make its descent.

Lena was out of the doors before they completely opened. Her heels moved quickly and gracefully across the main lobby, though she still couldn’t seem to move fast enough for her liking. The doorman spied her and opened the door just in the nick of time. She walked out into the driveway, and met her driver. She slipped the piece of paper into his hand and hastily clambered into the back seat. She didn’t wait to close the door behind her. He seemed to get the hint that she was in a hurry, because a moment later the car jolted to life. Lena let out another tremulous breath as she looked out the window.

 _'I’m coming, Kara_ ,' she thought.

When her driver pulled up in front of an alleyway on the run-down side of town, Lena was sure that there must have been some kind of mistake. The bartender must have given her the wrong address. Still, she could not afford to waste time. She threw open the door of the town car, and clambered out into the night, much to the dismay of her driver. Lena felt the first drops of rain begin to fall as the sky opened up and finally delivered on its earlier threat to rain.

“Miss Luthor,” her driver protested as he jumped out, “It’s not safe! You shouldn’t –“ The rest of his protests went unheard, as she rushed down the alleyway towards a bright red painted door. Lena jumped backwards as the door opened and two people walked out hand-in-hand.

Lena took an abrupt step backwards, out of shock, as she got her first real look at the couple. She realized with a start that they were not human. 

' _What on earth_? _Just what kind of place is this?'_ Lena thought, before she seemed to remember her reasons for being there. Lena pushed her way inside and swallowed. Her heart began to hammer in her chest as she looked around the unfamiliar room. She realized with a pang that the couple in the doorway had not been a singular exception. This place seemed to be filled with people that were from other _planets_. Lena found herself frozen for a long moment, as her eyes began searching the room. She swallowed over the lump in her throat as her eyes finally landed on the object of her affection. Kara was tucked into the corner, and Lena noticed with a frantic pulse of her heart that the blonde wasn’t alone. Lena’s feet went into motion again, as the tall brunette rushed to the blonde’s rescue. As she drew near to the pair, Lena felt her stomach began to churn. There was a man, and he was touching her – _her_ Kara. Not in a sexual way, but in a way that could still be considered _highly_ inappropriate.

 _Oh I, I tried so hard to change_  
_But the devil locked my door_  
_I'll wear these heavy chains_  
_Around my neck like a prisoner_  
_I just wanna love_  
_But he won't let me go_  
_Loosen up my chains_  
_Oh, I'm a condemned prisoner_

“Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere?” Lena heard him murmur under his breath, as he brushed Kara’s hair from her face, and Lena felt her blood begin to boil in her veins. She felt jealousy surge up inside of her. She was angry, but not at Kara. After all, the blonde – the blonde did not look well. In fact, she looked pale and diaphoretic. She looked as if she were barely _conscious_.

“No,” Kara told him, through slurred words, “I just want to be left alone. _Please,_  I just want to be _left_ in _peace_.”

“Come on,” he pressed, as he continued touching Kara’s face. “We should go somewhere. I'll show you a good time, I promise.”

“I believe that the lady said that she wants to be left alone,” Lena hissed suddenly out of anger. She simply couldn’t stand by and watch this any longer.

“Stay out of this,” he shot back at her – fixing her with a glare. “This is between her and I.”

“No,” Lena practically growled. “She’s my friend, and she doesn’t want to go _anywhere_ with you.” Lena felt herself reaching into her purse before she could stop herself. A heartbeat later, and she was now wielding a gun in her hand. She would protect Kara at all costs. “Now you can _leave_ , or I can _make_ _you_ leave. It’s your choice.”

“Fine. Whatever,” he said as he got up out of the booth, “She’s not worth the effort anyway. I like my girls with a little bit more _fight_ in them.” He said, as he turned to give Lena a pointed glare, before turning away again. He started walking away, and Lena hastily shoved the gun back into her purse.

 _Oh, I'll show him what it means to have a fight in you_ , Lena fumed. She _felt_ something inside of her snap.

"Hey!" Lena shouted, as she chased after him for a couple of steps and then spun him around.

She aimed a perfectly good kick to the groin, silently hoping that his anatomy wasn't too different from a normal human's. It paid off, as she drove her foot into his privates with a hell of a lot of force behind it. He let out a hoarse cry and dropped to his knees, and his hands dropped down as if to shield himself from any further assault. Lena swallowed hurriedly over the sudden obstruction in her throat, as she suddenly realized that every eye in the joint was now on her.

"You just couldn't keep your mouth shut," Lena said angrily, as she stepped over him in order to reach Kara's side of the table, "Could you!?" She stepped over him, and made her way back over to where Kara sat, hunched over on the bench seat in the booth she was sitting in.

“Come on, Kara,” Lena told her gently, “I think that it’s time we got out of here.” Feeling momentarily brave, Lena reached over and started helping Kara out of the narrow space that she was nestled in. The blonde momentarily protested, murmuring words in a language that Lena didn’t know, before she ultimately wrapped an arm around Lena's shoulder. Lena, in turn, wrapped one arm around Kara’s middle, and started coaxing Kara towards the door. Kara squeezed her eyes shut, slurring her words as she talked about how the room was spinning. The blonde was extremely unsteady against her, and Lena didn’t want to think about how drunk the blonde actually was – nor the fact that she could’ve been taken advantage of in her current state. She tugged Kara a little closer to her body - for stability - as they wove their way back down the alleyway and toward the car waiting at the curb.

 _I stood there in the spotlight_  
_With the city at my feet_  
_But I was a dead man walking_  
_Nothing ever comes for free_  
_So I moved on down to London_  
_Where I traded in my soul_  
_I could not fill my heart_  
_With all those one night stands and gold_

“Lena?” Kara groaned as her head dropped onto Lena’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Lena breathed shallowly, grunting just a little bit as she supported most of Kara’s weight. Kara was deceptively heavy and compact. Lena tried to ignore the way the blonde's muscles felt against her hands. “It’s me. It's alright, Kara – You’re safe now, I promise. I’m taking you home.”

Lena gave her driver a grateful smile as he opened the back door, and helped Lena ease Kara inside. Lena shielded the blonde's head, as they lowered Kara into the back seat. Sure, she knew that Kara was practically indestructible, but it was instinct. When Kara was finally tucked safely inside, Lena carefully shut the door, and moved around the back of the car to the other door. She opened it and climbed inside as gracefully as possible.  Kara's breaths were uneven and strained, and she could feel Kara start to shiver ever so slightly as the alcohol worked its way through her system. Lena, scooted over on the seat, and pulled Kara into her side, running her hands over the blonde's body in an effort to try and warm her.

"How much did you have to drink?" Lena had to ask her. She got no answer, apart from Kara burying her face into the space under Lena's chin. "Kara, this is important. I need to know how much alcohol you consumed."

Lena let out a sigh as Kara remained silent and she gave up on an answer.

The drive home to Kara’s apartment seemed to take an eternity. Lena struggled to keep her breathing even, as Kara sat curled up against her side. Every so often, the blonde’s arm would squeeze around her middle, as if testing and verifying that Lena were still there. She could feel the blonde’s even breaths against the skin of her neck, as the blond dozed off against her.

Lena let out a sigh, and turned her head to look out of the passenger side window. She reached out, pressing her hand against the cool glass. She let out a sigh at the relief that the cool glass gave her, as it alleviated some of the extreme heat she was feeling in her body. She didn’t know how Kara could possibly be so warm. It felt as if the Kryptonian were honestly about to catch fire. Lena felt her heart pick up its pace, as Kara started to stir against her.

“Are you okay?” Kara’s sleepy voice murmured. “Your heart is beating really fast.”

“You can hear it?” Lena asked, as she tore her eyes away from the window. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt Kara’s lips brush against her neck. That was _not_ helping any.

“Well, right now? I can kinda  _feel_ it,” Kara told her finally. “You don’t have to be nervous, Lena. It’s just me.”

“ _That’s kind of the problem_ ,” Lena murmured under her breath, not realizing that Kara would hear it.

The air between the two of them was thick, and part of Kara wanted to just tell Lena the truth. But then, the part of Kara that was monumentally afraid kept her from doing so. Admitting it to Lena, saying the words out loud would change everything. What Kara loved about their friendship, was that she felt like she could be vulnerable with Lena. She could be _human_. With everyone else, it was different - because she was _superhuman_  and they always saw her as such. Their expectations of her were _different_. They expected her to be able to handle everything – to lift the weight of the world in her hands and hold it. Lena – Lena just accepted her. She loved her for being Kara. She knew Kara was imperfect and fallible, but still appreciated her for being warm, gentle, and kind. Kara was desperately afraid of what would happen if things changed. After all, Lena was the only one that was currently holding Kara together. She made Kara feel safe.

Kara didn’t want to think about how she really felt for Lena. She was in love with Lena, and yet, she knew that she could never tell the brunette how she felt. She was scared to death of losing yet another person she loved. And telling Lena how she felt – saying those words out loud, made it all the more likely that she would lose her. No matter how many times Kara reminded herself that Lena couldn’t possibly feel the same way, she just couldn’t shake her feelings. She just couldn’t _stop_ feeling that way about her friend. It didn't matter that they were only friends, and Lena was straight, because the heart wants what the heart wants. Still, it caused Kara endless torment. Lena was successful – incredible, and so far out of Kara’s league it wasn’t even funny. 

 _So throw me out your mom's house_  
_I've been living there too long_  
_Well she never liked me anyway_  
_Cause she knows I'm Northern scum_

So many things were holding her back. Somehow during the last weeks of radio silence, Kara had managed to convince herself that Lena couldn’t possibly care about her. It didn’t matter that this could possibly hurt Lena later on, if she found out. Kara just wasn’t brave enough to tell her. And as punishment for her crimes, she knew that she would never get a chance to be truly happy. That thought alone made her want to cry every night as she lay in bed staring at the ceiling.

Lena felt her stomach lurch ever so slightly as the car came to a sudden stop in front of Kara’s building. She gave Kara a gentle squeeze, trying to rouse her.

“We’re here,” Lena said softly, as she her driver threw open her door. Kara didn’t move. She was too damned tired. Lena let out a deep steadying breath and carefully extricated herself from Kara’s hold, before climbing out of the car. Kara’s head jerked back and her eyes blinked open, as she missed Lena's presence immediately. With a frown, Lena bent down and helped Kara from the car. She began to breathe just a little more shallowly as she smelled the hero’s intoxicating scent. It lingered in the space between them, making the air seem thick, and Lena _drowned_ in it. “Come on,” Lena whispered as she helped Kara out of the car. Kara’s arm hung loosely around Lena’s waist as the brunette walked her up to her apartment on the third floor. When they finally reached the top, Kara leant against the wall, barely holding herself up.

 _Oh I, I tried so hard to change_  
_But the devil locked my door_  
_I'll wear these heavy chains_  
_Around my neck like a prisoner_  
_I just wanna love_  
_But he won't let me go_  
_Loosen up my chains_  
_Oh, I'm a condemned prisoner_

“Kara,” Lena spoke gently, “Where’s your key?”

“Front left side pocket,” Kara murmured as she kept her eyes shut. Lena practically gulped as she realized what she was going to have to do. ‘ _God_ ’, she thought, ‘ _is this some sort of punishment? Have I done something worthy of this torture?_ ’ With trembling fingers, Lena stuck her fingertips into Kara’s front pocket, trying to ignore the moan that slipped unconsciously from Kara’s lips. For a heart stopping moment Lena froze. This was so _unfair_! She took a deep breath, trying to calm her thrumming body as it cried out for Kara's touch. Finally, after she regained her calmness, Lena trapped the key between her index and middle finger and pulled it out, slowly. And when at last she had possession of the item, she put the key in the lock and opened the door, helping Kara inside.

By the time Lena hung her coat on the hook by the door, Kara was already rushing for the bathroom. Lena cringed as she heard the blonde retching violently. Lena pulled off her heels and quickly followed in the blonde’s wake. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Lena pushed her way inside the bathroom, and dropped to her knees behind her best friend without caring if she bruised them in her haste. With gentle, soothing motions, Lena gathered up Kara’s hair and held it away from her face. She could see the sweat and tears dripping from Kara’s crystalline blue eyes as wave after wave of nausea hit her. Meanwhile, Lena rubbed gentle circles on the blonde's back between her shoulder blades, trying to coax everything out of Kara’s stomach so that they wouldn’t have to do this again. She tried to relax the aching muscles in Kara’s hunched back.

Kara let out a noise much akin to a sob, and Lena felt her heart break.

“Shh,” Lena started soothing in Kara’s ear, “It’s okay. I’m here, Kara. I'm here for you, and I’m not going anywhere. It’s going to be alright.” The words themselves made Kara want to cry all over again. Lena was being so kind to her, so gentle, and so loving that Kara felt like an awful person for not telling her the truth. But how could she? Finally, the vomiting stopped, as there was nothing left to come up. Kara scooted away from the toilet bowl, unknowingly pressing back against Lena’s body. Lena suppressed a groan as she relished the feel of Kara in her arms.

 _Oh I, I tried so hard to change_  
_But the devil locked my door_  
_I'll wear these heavy chains_  
_Around my neck like a prisoner_  
_I just wanna love_  
_But he won't let me go_  
_Loosen up my chains_  
_Oh, I'm a condemned prisoner_

“Kara,” Lena whispered softly. The brunette closed her eyes as Kara’s head dropped backwards and onto her shoulder. Lena wrapped her arms around her and just held her. Kara snuggled into Lena’s arms, content to stay there forever.

“I’m so sorry,” Kara breathed over and over again. “I’m so sorry that you had to leave work to come take care of me. I'm sorry to be such a burden.”

“It’s okay,” Lena told her honestly. “It’s okay, Kara. I _promise_. The work can wait for another day.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Kara told her, in a broken and raspy voice. “I’ll never deserve you.” Those words honestly made Lena’s heart break.

"No, Kara," Lena replied calmly, speaking the truth when she said, "I'm the one that doesn't deserve you."

“Come on,” Lena told her, as she relinquished her hold on Kara and started to get up from the floor. “Let’s get you into bed, shall we?”

Lena isn’t sure how, exactly, but they eventually wind up on the couch together - and not on the bed like she anticipated. She was currently sitting, with Kara laying supine across its cushions while the blonde's head lay nestled neatly in Lena’s lap. Lena mindlessly and soothingly ran her fingers through Kara’s hair, over and over and over again until the blonde finally started to doze off. Lena hummed a lullaby gently under her breath, trying to calm Kara. And as Lena looked down in order to see that Kara's previously pained expression had changed into one of complete relaxation, she realized it was working.

“I wish the rest of the world could see how _amazing_ you are,” Kara told her just before she finally drifted off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, and Lena felt her heart atypically flutter at the words. Even after all of this time, Lena still didn’t know how Kara could affect her so much with only mere words. She imagined that it was because she knew that Kara meant them with her whole heart. Lena’s head dropped backwards onto the couch as she, too, relaxed and felt herself drift off into sleep. She reckoned that she was overdo for a good rest.

She awoke with a start mere minutes later, however, as the door to Kara’s loft was thrown open. Lena suddenly sat up straight and her head turned towards the door, as Kara’s sister thundered her way inside.

“Kara, you can’t just ignore my calls like-“ Alex trailed off as she met Lena’s confused expression. Lena hastily rubbed the sleep from her eyes for a moment, before she wordlessly lifted a finger to her lips, and Lena watched as Alex’s eyes took in the sight before her. She gave Lena a pointed look, taking in the sight of Kara nestled in her lap, before she managed to calm herself down.

“Lena?” Alex spoke in a hushed whisper. “What on earth are you doing here? With Kara? At this hour?” Lena carefully slid out from beneath Kara’s body, and stood up on unsteady legs. Apparently one of them had fallen asleep, and Lena winced as she felt the pins and needles in her right foot. She walked towards Alex, and gestured for them to take this conversation outside. Alex nodded and wordlessly followed. When they were finally outside, and the door was closed behind them, Lena spoke in a calm, even voice.

“Kara accidentally called me, and I got worried,” Lena told her. “She sounded severely intoxicated, and I was worried about her, so I picked her up from the bar. I brought her back here, but I didn't feel like I could leave her because I was worried she might have alcohol poisoning. I wanted to call you, but she - she practically begged me not to. I’m sorry, Agent Danvers, I should have called you.”

“No,” Alex shook her head. “No, It’s – It’s okay. I’m glad that you were there for her. I can see that you care about her. I – I’m sorry if I seemed kind of cold just now, it’s just that I’ve been really worried about her.”

“I take it from your reaction that this is not the first time that this has happened?” Lena asked.

“No,” Alex admitted as she reached up to paw at the back of her neck. “Kara – Kara hasn’t been taking things well, and today? Today didn’t help any.”

“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” Lena questioned. “I tried getting it out of her, but she was too out of it to really carry a conversation.”

“Umm… Uh-,” Alex looked uneasy for a moment as she tried to come up with some sort of a response.

“You don’t want to tell me,” Lena said as she recognized the hesitance in Alex’s expression.

“No,” Alex shook her head, “It’s not that… It’s just, I’m not sure if I can tell you.”

“Oh,” Lena exhaled. “Does it have to do with Kara’s boyfriend? Mon-El?”

“No,” Alex answered. “No it doesn't have anything to do with that. Look, Lena, there’s this big secret that not many people know about, and I sorta have to tell you about it in order for things to make sense. Kara has lost a lot – more than anybody should have to lose in his or her lifetime. Her downward spiral started after she sent Mon-El away in order to save him, but that's not why she's falling apart _now_. She's been struggling with this for her whole life. She's been abandoned before, by people that she loves, and this was just sort of the catalyst that brought back _a_ _lot_ of pain. She didn’t – She didn’t just lose her parents on that day all those years ago, okay? She lost _everything_. She lost her whole-” Alex let out a sharp exhale, followed by a groan. She knew that she was going against J’onn's orders by telling Lena this, and she didn’t know if she could. She didn’t know if she could betray his trust like that, but at this point, she was more afraid of losing her sister than she was about anything else.

“World,” Lena finished for her, as she realized where Alex had been going. “You were going to say that she lost her whole world.” Alex’s eyes flew to Lena’s bright green ones, and the short-haired brunette’s jaw fell open in shock. " _Krypton_ _._ "

“You know?” Alex asked her.

“Well,” Lena chuckled, “I would say that I merely  _suspected_. But yeah, I _know_.”

“I can’t believe!” Alex burst out. “I’ve been agonizing over this decision of whether or not to tell you – and this whole time you already  _knew_.”

“Agent Danvers,” Lena spoke in a rough voice.

"Alex," Alex corrected, "Please just call me  _Alex_ , Lena. You know far more about Kara and I, than you probably should. I think you can call me by my first name."

"Alex," Lena spoke slowly, as if she were testing the brunette's first name. "Not that I'm not grateful for what you've told me, but can we please move on to what you were going to say before. What happened today? What on earth left Kara in this state? I've never seen her like this before.”

“Kara lost a little boy today,” Alex told her finally, as she held Lena’s gaze. "She was fighting this alien menace in the city, and the little boy got caught up in the fight. Kara tried, but couldn’t make it to him in time. He – He died in her _arms_ , Lena. And Kara? Kara blames herself for _all_ of it. She sort of holds herself to this impossible standard when she's Supergirl. She doesn't allow herself any mistakes, and today - today she thinks she made the ultimate one. It's gonna take her a long time to get over this, and even then, she's probably never going to be able to forgive herself.”

“Oh my god,” Lena breathed, as she lifted up her hands to her mouth in horror. “I - can’t even _imagine_ what that would be like.”

“Yeah,” Alex said in a defeated voice as she looked down at her feet. “Look, the reason I’m telling you all of this, is because I’m afraid. I'm afraid my sister is going to get herself killed. What she did before at the warehouse, it almost got her killed, Lena, and for the first time I'm at a loss of what to do. It's like she's on this destructive path - like she doesn't care what happens to her, and I don't know how to get through to her. I’ve been trying to be there for her, but she’s not – she’s not making it easy. She keeps shutting everyone out, and I’m afraid of what’s going to happen if she succeeds.” Alex shut her eyes, and lifted a hand to run a hand over her face. “She said that she thinks that Kara Danvers was a mistake, and that scares me, Lena. Because Kara Danvers has saved me more times than Supergirl ever could.”

"Kara has saved me, too," Lena told her quietly. "She's been there for me in a way that no one else _ever_ has. I don't know what I'd do without her."

Alex nodded in understanding. “I’ve been trying, but I can’t be there for her all of the time. It seems like its always when she’s alone that she just _falls_ _apart_. I just can’t do this by myself anymore." Alex paused and took a deep breath, before admitting, "I need help. And I – I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I need _your_ help. Maybe if we work together, then we can support Kara in the way that she needs to be supported. I just don’t ever want her to feel _alone_." Lena could see the sadness and fear in Alex's eyes as she said, "I’m afraid that she’s going to get herself killed, and I can’t – I can’t _lose_ her. She's my _family_. I don't know what I would be without her in my life. ” Alex spoke in a broken voice. “So I guess what I’m asking is – will you help me?”

“Of course,” Lena told her as she reached over and gave Alex’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Of course I'll help you."

“Thank you,” Alex said in genuine relief, as a sob escaped her throat. “ _Thank_ _you_ , Lena.”

“I hope you know that I love Kara, and would do just about anything for her,” Lena confessed. “I know that you don’t think I’m good enough for her, and you’re probably right about that but I _do_ love her – and I would do just about anything to protect her.”

“Contrary to what you might think, I _do_ think you’re good _enough_ for her,” Alex whispered. This earned Alex an arched brow from the other brunette.

“Okay, so I'm not going to lie and say that I have always thought you were good enough for her _,"_  Alex replied, _"_ but I do _now_ and I think that's all that matters. Look, you haven't had the benefit of being at the DEO when we were trying to decide whether or not to help you, but Kara has _always_  argued in your favor. And never - not once - has she ever wavered in her convictions. I have never seen Kara believe in someone like that before, and I know that there's only way to do that - you've _earned_ it. You earned her trust, Lena. And so - _therefore_ you have earned _mine_."

"I - I didn't know," Lena spoke finally, after taking in what Alex had just told her. "I mean, she's always said that Kara Danvers believed in me - that _she_ believed in me, but I don't think I realized just how much she meant that."

"She means it," Alex confirmed. "Kara has wanted to tell you about who she is for quite some time, but she was forbidden by me and others at the DEO of doing so. I know Kara loves you, and I promise you that it wasn’t an issue of trust, but more than anything, I think she was just afraid of how you might take it. Your mother told Kara that when you found out, you would hate Kara, and I think that – that thought terrifies her, because she doesn’t want to lose you. She’s scared to death of losing you. So please – please don’t think any less of her.”

“I don’t,” Lena reassured her. “I mean, I’m not going to say that it doesn’t hurt just a little bit, but I have a feeling that Kara will tell me when she’s ready. It just stings that she felt like she could tell other people who she was, but she couldn't tell me.”

“Wait just a second,” Alex commanded, as she held up a hand and met Lena’s eyes. “Just how many people do you think know about Kara’s identity? How many people do you think she’s told?”

“A few,” Lena said with an aggravated breath. “Too many, if I’m being honest.”

“Two,” Alex told her seriously. She noticed the look of surprise on Lena’s face, and in her bright green eyes. “She’s told _two people_  who she is. The first was her best friend at Catco, actually. You've met him, I believe, at one of your Galas. His name is Winn - Winn Schott. He works for the DEO now. The second person Kara told about her secret is Lucy Lane. And I don't think I'd be overreaching if I said that her hand was forced, in that instance. The truth is, Kara had to tell Lucy in order to save me and my boss from Cadmus' clutches.  But yeah, that's it. Those are the only two people Kara has told.”

“Are you serious?” Lena asked, “But I thought… I mean, you said my _mother_ knows.”

“All of the other people who know, either figured it out themselves, or were told by someone else,” Alex informed Lena. “We think that Lex told your mother who Kara is, or she learned about it from Henshaw. Look, Lena, Kara has had little control over who knows. But the people that she _chooses_ to tell - well, that is her prerogative. And make no mistake, Lena, she will tell you who she is, because she loves you and not telling you is _killing_ her. But you just – need to give it time, okay? I promise you, It _will_ happen.”

“Thank you,” Lena told her as she felt tears build in her eyes. “Thank you for telling me all of this. You’re a good sister, Alex.”

“She means the world to me,” Alex breathed, “I hope you know that.” Then her voice turned hard as she said, “Hurt her, and you’ll have to deal with me. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Lena spoke, thickly. "Yeah, I understand."

“Good,” Alex nodded. “Now, I think I should let you get back inside. I trust that you’ll be okay with her tonight?”

“Yeah,” Lena murmured gently, in agreement. “I'll take good care of her. Should we exchange numbers so that we can communicate?” Alex handed over her phone, so that Lena could put her number into it. The brunette's long elegant fingers danced over the surface, as she put in her work and cell number so that Alex could get a hold of her whenever she needed to. She handed the phone back to Alex, and the DEO agent gave her a grateful smile.

“She can’t know what we’re doing,” Alex told her a heartbeat later. “She’ll be so angry with us, if she ever finds out.”

“I understand,” Lena breathed as she handed Alex’s phone back to her. “I trust that this is one of those secrets that are _okay_ to keep.”

“Thank you, Lena,” Alex told her as she pulled Lena into an unsuspecting hug. “My sister is lucky to have a friend like you - a _love_ like yours.”

"That's the biggest compliment that I think anyone's ever given me," Lena murmured into Alex's ear, as she returned the embrace. "Well, apart from the ones Kara has said to me in strictest confidence, but I think she may be a tad bit biased."

"Just a little," Alex chuckled. "Then again, Kara's a really good judge of character - she's a lot better at reading people than most." They shared a knowing look before they broke the contact. Lena murmured a soft farewell to Alex and slipped quietly back inside. 


	5. You Matter To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara wakes up to discover Lena in her bed, and some interesting things ensue. There are lots of feelings involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I don't know how this always seems to happen, but this chapter turned out to be a bit heavier than I expected. There are lots of good Supercorp feels involved, though, I promise. I just finished writing this a few minutes ago, and wanted to post it straight away. I'll be going back in the next 24 hours to edit it. So for now, any mistakes that you find in the interim are 100% mine. I do hope that you enjoy! Thanks for reading!
> 
> A big thank you to all of you for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. They mean the world to me! I love you all!

Hours later, Lena woke up to a streak of light falling across her pillow. At first, she wasn’t sure what had pulled her from her pleasant slumber, but it didn't take her long to figure it out. She could feel Kara move ever so slightly against her, snuggling against her chest in a way that left a heat coiling in her abdomen. She could feel the weight of Kara’s head on her chest, as she slowly breathed in and out. It was hard to keep her breathing even and measured, as she focused on how close Kara was to her now. Lena blinked against the light, and turned her head away from the window, trying to postpone the time when she would inevitably have to wake Kara and this paradise would end. Her eyes fluttered shut, as she allowed herself to bask in the sensations. She couldn’t deny it any longer. Everything just felt so _right_ with Kara held in her arms. She couldn't help but feel at peace with Kara this close to her. The circumstances didn’t matter. For once, Lena hadn’t fallen into sleep feeling as if she were utterly and completely alone. For once, she'd felt safe, content, and dare she say happy - as she slipped into a peaceful sleep.

Over the course of the last year insomnia had been one of her biggest problems and cruelest tormentors. She often found it impossible to turn off her thoughts at night when she lay in bed by herself. It was always so quiet - a deafening sort of silence that made her feel incredibly alone. She would often toss and turn for hours, cursing her own thoughts as they frequently flocked back to dwell on her difficult past. Without meaning to, her mind would replay what she considered to be emotionally significant events. She feared that she would never find anyone to love her – to hold her in the way Kara was holding her now. The blonde’s slumbering form seemed almost possessive with her arm draped across Lena’s middle as it currently was. It was a good feeling. 

Since Jack, she hadn’t felt close to anyone. She was always afraid to let someone in, and as a result she seemed to cause herself undue pain. Her solution to this problem had been to keep herself so busy - to make her body and mind so utterly exhausted that she simply crashed when she finally made it home. In order to do this, she would often stay up for days at a time, busying herself with all of the things that it took to run a multi-billion dollar corporation. But with Kara in her arms, she didn’t have to do that.

She wanted to let the blonde's light in – to let it shine on the darkest parts of her. She had no doubt that having Kara in her life made her a better person. Kara made her desperately want to be the sort of person that she saw when she looked at Lena.

Lena took a voracious breath as her body slowly began to wake, and adjust to consciousness. Her eyes opened lazily, the second time around. She glanced down to take in Kara’s sleeping profile, and felt her heart swell with affection for the woman next to her as she realized how unbelievably content the blonde looked. It was such a stark contrast to how the blonde had looked just hours before, and Lena felt a sense of pride at being able to heal Kara’s pain in such a way. She looked unbelievably relaxed – more so than the blonde had in months. Lena pressed a kiss to the soft wavy hair at the top of Kara’s head, and took another greedy breath as the most luscious smell met her nose. It was sweet, delicate – a perfect contradiction to Kara’s strength, and Lena was in love with the way that Kara smelled. The scent wafting into Lena’s nose was like that of an extremely beautiful and rare flower, one that you were extremely fortunate to come across once in your lifetime, and Lena was enamored with it. In addition to the smell, she also felt the comforting warmth of the body pressed up against her side. She no longer felt cold, as she was accustomed to when she woke up to an empty bed every morning, but rather, her body felt so very warm. In fact, it felt like the heat was almost too much – as if she might very well catch fire at any moment. She relished the feeling, and the sensation of Kara’s body pressed against her own. She relished it – right up until the moment when Kara’s hand reached up to palm her ribs right below her breast, and Lena’s throat traitorously opened up in a groan. Lena felt her breaths cease, as Kara unknowingly and intimately touched her in a way that set her entire body aflame. Lena’s hand shot up to intercept Kara’s hand, trying to pull it away in a way that wouldn’t wake the blonde. She didn’t know why, but she was honestly afraid of what might happen if the blonde woke now, and found herself in such a position. Would the blonde be horrified? Would their current situation repulse her? Or would she feel the same amount of contentment that Lena did? 

Lena pulled the blonde’s hand away from her chest, and gave it a gentle squeeze, before letting it fall back to her side. Lena turned, trying to keep Kara at her back, as she made her way towards the edge of the bed. She couldn't think straight with the blonde so close by. Her emotions were too weighted by the blonde's presence for her to think clearly.

Still, Kara did not welcome the space. As Lena shifted on the mattress, so too, did Kara. Lena felt her breaths hitch as the blonde pulled Lena backwards until Lena was flush against her own body. The brunette’s eyes fluttered shut, as she focused on the feeling of Kara’s chest against her back. If she had been having a difficult time keeping her emotions in check before, she sure as hell had little chance of doing it now. Lena knew she had to get up. But as she struggled against the arm holding her body in place, Lena realized that the blonde was just too strong. She struggled halfheartedly for several seconds, before all fight ultimately left her. She suppressed a shiver as Kara's breath ghosted along the skin on the back of her neck. Kara pressed her nose into the nape of Lena’s neck and inhaled deeply, relaxing as she breathed in the brunette’s comforting scent. Lena could hear the contentment in Kara’s sigh, and she realized with a stunted breath that she didn’t _want_ to get up. She honestly didn’t want to ever leave this space where she and Kara existed together. Lena took another deep breath, letting it out slowly. Her eyes flickered open, and for a moment, she laid completely still. She shifted slightly, feeling the sleeping blonde shift slightly against her in response, before the blonde’s hips pressed forwards into her own. Kara moaned ever so quietly in her sleep, as her body pressed against Lena’s – all the way from her hips to her chest.

Lena was sure this was going to kill her. It was honestly going to stop her heart, and make her spontaneously combust. Kara murmured something under her breath and continued to snuggle closer against Lena’s body. 

“Kara,” Lena breathed aloud, the tone of her voice quavered a bit as she spoke the blonde's name. She couldn't seem to calm herself, as Kara’s hand slip beneath her shirt to rub circles over her stomach. She gently grabbed a hold of the hand beneath her shirt, and tried to slide it out from beneath the fabric. This backfired big time. Kara’s hand started moving downwards, towards the band of elastic that was the top of her sleeping shorts. Lena felt her heart skip a beat as Kara made a sound that Lena wished she had never heard, because she knew that it would stick with her forever. Later, when she dreamt of them – when she allowed herself to slip into the fantasy - she knew that the sound would be making a recurrence. 

“Kara,” Lena spoke again, and this time her tone was just a little more forceful than before. Lena felt her heart rate pick up, and her breaths come just a little faster in her lungs, causing her chest to heave in desperation. “Kara, for the love of god, _please. You have to_ _wake up_!”

In the blink of an eye, Lena found herself pressed down onto the mattress with Kara’s surprisingly heavy weight pressed down on top of hers. Lena felt a gasp pulled from her body, as she felt Kara's weight over her, pining her to the mattress below. Lena hadn’t had so much as a single moment to prepare herself for Kara’s actions, before she found herself unable to move an inch. The blonde’s hands already had possession of Lena’s, forcing the brunette's hands over her head, and Lena struggled not to make any sort of noise as she realized that Kara was fully on top of her, straddling her. She reckoned that she should have expected this. After all, with Kara’s super-speed it was entirely possible that Kara could get her in this position, in less time than it had taken Lena to blink. 

She noticed with a start that Kara’s eyes were open and were united with her own, peering into the depths of Lena’s bright green eyes. Kara’s chest heaved wildly as she responded to the perceived threat.

“Kara, hey,” Lena said as gently as she could manage, with her emotions currently raging out of control. “Easy. It’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Kara blinked once, twice, three times before she seemed to realize the position they were in - pressed against one another in an intimate fashion. Kara’s chest heaved up and down, brushing against Lena’s own as their breaths collided and clashed in the limited amount of space that existed between them. Kara looked down at Lena’s body, and felt her body react to the sight. She realized with a pang that it would be so easy to close the distance between them, and claim Lena’s lips for her own. But she knew that doing so would be a turning point for the two of them. There would be no going back from that. Lena seemed to catch her at it, and for just a moment the blonde allowed herself to think that maybe Lena wanted her to kiss her.

“Good morning,” Lena greeted her, with a warm smile that held just a hint of smugness to it. She wasn't sure how, but by some miracle, she was able to act as if nothing out of the ordinary were happening – as if Kara’s body wasn’t pressed against hers in all of the right places.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Kara apologized, while turning the sort of shade you might expect of a vine-ripened tomato. She let out a shuddering breath and rolled off of Lena, scrambling towards the edge of the bed, and away from Lena faster than the brunette could reach out for her. Lena was slow to react, as Kara suddenly pushed herself to the other side of the bed. “Lena, I am so _so_ sorry. I can only imagine how uncomfortable you must feel right now. I’m sorry if I did anything untoward - or if I took advantage of you in any way.”

“Come on, Kara,” Lena spoke in a warm voice, as she moved towards the blonde. “It wasn’t _that_ bad. I mean, you had your hand up my shirt at one point, but I was flattered by it, _not_ horrified.”

Lena noticed, with a sense of elation that her body hadn't been the only one reacting to the position that they found themselves in. The expression on Kara’s face – in her eyes – was just a little bit too unhinged, a little bit too wild for Kara to be unaffected. As Kara turned back to face her, she realized with a soft gasp that Kara’s pupils were blown. The beautiful rings of blue in Kara’s eyes were nearly non-existent. And Lena - Lena honestly didn’t know what to feel when she noticed these traces of arousal in her best friend. 

Kara’s voice was still thick with sleep, as she spoke in a quiet voice. “What – “ Kara’s voice was all breath, as she tried to make sense of this unforeseen event.  “What are you doing here?” Kara asked her, sounding slightly in awe. 

“You’re probably looking for some kind of an explanation as to why I’m in your bed, huh?” Lena joked. “Well, you were uh a bit indisposed after your night out. So I brought you home, and stayed over in order to keep an eye on you. I wanted to make sure that you were okay.” 

“Oh gosh,” Kara looked a bit defeated as she let her head fall into her hands, “I – I actually did that? I drunk dialed you, and you came to that place to get me?” Kara's words were slightly muffled by the fact that Kara was speaking into her hands, but Lena still heard her just fine.

“Yeah,” Lena laughed. “I’m surprised you remember anything at all. You were umm... pretty far gone by the time I got there.”

“Hold on a second. Did you - Did you actually kick some guy in the  _you know what_  for trying to take advantage of me?” Kara asked as she lifted her head. Lena took note of how beautiful Kara looked in the blossoming sunlight. Lena struggled to read the emotions in Kara's crystalline blue eyes, as the blonde said. “Or am I just imagining that?”

“You remember _that_?” Lena spoke in disbelief. Then she decided to just be honest. “Okay, yes, I did kick some poor soul in his privates. But I would argue that he deserved it. He was _touching_ you, Kara. He was trying to take advantage of you, and-.”

“Do I actually detect a hint of jealousy in your voice?” Kara asked as she searched Lena’s bright green gaze.

“Kara,” Lena sighed, more like groaned really, as she felt a flush of heat overtake her cheeks.

“Oh,” Kara spoke in horror, as glimpses of the night before started coming back. She hadn’t actually spoken _Kryptonese_  in front of the brunette, had she?  “I was drunk - like really _really_ drunk. Please tell me, I didn’t do anything or say anything that could be considered inappropriate, did I? Or unusual?” Kara asked. 

“No, Kara,” Lena told her honestly, “There might've been a couple of things, but it could have been a lot worse.”

Kara was poised as if to get out of bed – and in fact, she had actually started to stand up, when the dizziness caught up with her and sent her sinking back onto the mattress. Kara let out a groan as she reached up to the side of her head with one hand. 

“How much did I have to drink last night?” Kara asked. “I honestly don’t ever remember ever having a hangover quite this bad before.”

“I’ve been trying to get you to answer that question since I picked you up from the bar,” Lena informed her. “But I would say that you had a _lot_. I was honestly worried you might have alcohol poisoning.”

“I’m so sorry about this whole thing,” Kara said as she hunched over slightly, her elbows pressing into the musculature just above her knees. She was honestly starting to feel like she could apologize a thousand times, and it still wouldn’t be enough. “I’m sorry that you had to come to my rescue like that. I don't know if you'll believe me when I say this, but I - I don’t drink – not usually.  You might have figured it out already, but I had a really bad day yesterday - one of the worst days I've ever had since losing my parents. And instead of dealing with it like I should have, I - God, I’m a mess.” Lena gently pushed herself over towards where Kara sat, and began rubbing circles on Kara’s back. She knew from what happened last night, that Kara liked it when she did that. She liked the gesture of comfort.

“Kara,” Lena sighed. “It’s okay. I promise.”

“It's _not_. I can only imagine what you must think of me right now,” Kara told her. "You must think I'm pathetic."

“ _Never_ ,” Lena replied – her voice full of honesty.

“I could never think any less of you, Kara. Look, we all have bad days, okay?” Lena spoke as she tried to comfort her. “And a lot of the time, when I have a bad one, I turn to unhealthy ways of coping, too. It’s just something that I think we do instinctively." The brunette let out a deep breath, before she continued. "It's gotten better since I've met you, you know? Probably because you've always been there for me on my worst days." 

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, If you want to talk about it – if you want to deal with all of this in a healthier way, I’m here. I’m here to listen, and I’m not going anywhere," Lena promised her.

Kara turned to meet Lena’s eyes, holding them with her own. For a moment, Lena thought that Kara might actually talk to her about it, but then Kara shook her head. "I don't think I can talk about it. Not right now."

"Kara," Lena sighed, "You're not going to feel any better, until you get it all off of your chest. And believe me, I know what it's like to hold things inside - to let it eat away at you from the inside-out."

  
_I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes_  
_They've seen things that you never quite say, but I hear_  
_Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you_  
_And I'll stay there as long as you let me_

"I get that you're trying to help me," Kara responded. "I really do. But I can't talk to you about this, Lena."

"Why?" Lena questioned. "Why not, Kara? Is it because of who I am?"

"This has nothing to do with your last name, Lena," Kara argued. "You know it doesn't!"

"Then, why?" Lena shot back, not afraid to press Kara on this issue. "Why can't you talk about it with _me_?"

"Because I can't even talk to my own sister about it!" Kara nearly shouted as she stood up. Lena let out a gasp as her hand suddenly fell back to the bed. She honestly didn't know what to do. She winced at the degree of hostility that she heard in Kara's voice. She could practically see everything that Kara was feeling - just by taking in the set of the blonde's shoulders. "Alex and I have always been able to talk about _everything_ , but I can't - I can't tell her what I'm feeling because it's dark and _grotesque_ , and god, Lee, it's scaring the hell out of me."

"Kara," Lena felt her throat close up on her as she saw the amount of pain in Kara's eyes.

“I think I’m - I'm going to take a shower,” Kara said as she turned away. "I could really use a shower." Lena watched her walk aimlessly around the bedroom, pacing like a lion enclosed in a cage. Lena noticed with a profound sense of sadness that Kara looked lost. “You’re welcome to use the one in here. I’ll use the other one.”

“Kara,” Lena called after her, as she started climbing out of bed. "Kara, wait!" But her words went unheard, as Kara walked away from her.

 _Because you matter to me_  
_Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody_  
_You matter to me_  
_I promise you do, you, you matter too_  
_I promise you do, you see?_  
_You matter to me_

Lena let out a huff as she dropped back onto the pillows with a defeated sigh. Lena stayed there, staring up at the ceiling for several minutes before she heard her phone start to go off on the bedside table. With another noise of displeasure, she rolled over and plucked it up from the bedside table before she ultimately lifted a thumb to the device and answered it. 

“Hello?” Lena greeted in a defeated tone of voice, as she reached up to prod at the tight muscles in her forehead with the pads of her fingers.

“Good morning, Miss. Luthor,” Jess greeted. “I’m just calling to check in. I noticed that you haven’t been in yet this morning, and you’re usually here before I am.” Lena’s eyes darted over towards Kara’s antiquated clock. It was already almost 6:30 a.m. Lena let out a muffled curse.

“Yes,” Lena cleared her throat, “I’m afraid that I’m running a little behind schedule this morning. Can you please remind me of my schedule for the day?” Lena listened as Jess rattled off a long list of things she had planned for the day. The soonest item on her schedule was a meeting at 7:30 a.m.

“Alright,” Lena sighed, as she struggled to figure out what to do. “I’ll be in as quickly as I can, but could you please push back my first meeting to Eight o’clock? We’ll probably have to do some shuffling around, but I think we should still be able to fit everything in that we need to.”

“Okay. Consider it done, Miss. Luthor. I’ll have everything ready by the time you get here,” Jess promised her.

“Jess?” Lena asked. “There’s actually something else I need you to do for me, and it’s a bit of an unusual request.” Lena gave Jess a moment to respond, before saying, “I don’t know if you saw it on the news this morning, but there was a little boy killed in the alien attack yesterday evening. I would like you to track down his family in order to offer our condolences, and I would like to offer to pay for any of their funeral expenses.”

“Are you sure? We’ve already exceeded the amount we’ve allocated for charity this year,” Jess reminded her. "Any further spending will have to be approved by the Board of Directors."

“No,” Lena shook her head, “I don't think you understand what I'm asking. I- I don’t want to pay for it out of the charity fund, Jess, I want _you_ to take it out of _my_  personal  _salary_.”

“Oh,” Jess sounded genuinely surprised. "Oh! You do?" 

“Yes,” Lena told her emphatically. “I do. Please find a way to make it happen, and let me know just as soon as everything is in order.” 

“Of course,” Jess replied. "I'll get started on that right away."

“Thank you,” Lena said gratefully, “I’ll see you soon.” Lena hung up and set her phone back on the bedside table.

Lena was still in a sort of trance, as she moved into the bathroom and stripped from the clothes she'd borrowed from Kara. She intricately folded them, and set them on the counter before turning towards the shower. She reached inside and cranked the handle. For a fraction of a moment, she heard the pipes creak, as the flow of water was diverted through them and into the nozzle overhead. Soon enough, water started gushing through them and into the space below. Lena stepped under its spray, and tugged the curtain shut, closing her eyes as she focused on how good the steaming hot water felt against her sore muscles. Without opening her eyes she grabbed the bottle of shampoo, and squirted a dollop of shampoo into her palm. She began to work the substance through her hair and worked it into a lather. She let out a contented sigh, as a familiar scent wafted into the space around her. Kara might as well be in there with her. Lena rinsed the shampoo from her hair, and quickly replaced it with the conditioner. As she allowed the substance to work, she began feverishly cleaning her body with Kara’s body wash, letting her hands move with familiarity over her slick heated flesh. Finally, Lena rinsed the suds from her body, and rinsed out her hair before she cut off the flow of water. She quickly dried herself with one of Kara’s clean towels, and dressed in her outfit from the day before. She pulled her damp hair up into a hair tie, and padded from the room.

When she emerged from the bathroom, in order to find that Kara had yet to emerge from hers, Lena’s brow furrowed in concern. Surely, Kara should have finished before her. After all, the blonde was notorious for taking ridiculously short showers – probably because she could use her super-speed.

Lena felt a bad feeling settle in her stomach as she walked to the door. She could still hear the water running inside. Lena tapped lightly on the door with her knuckles.

“Kara?” Lena called out loudly. Lena felt her heart clench in worry, as she was met with silence. She knocked at its surface again, before reaching down to try the handle. It jiggled in her hand, and did not give. “Kara, hey, it’s Lena, is everything okay in there?” When Lena was still met with no answer, she knew something was off, and that she had to do something. Normally, Kara could hear her coming a block away. The fact that Kara wasn't answering her now, meant that something was seriously wrong. Lena rushed into the kitchen, rooting through its drawers looking for some kind of instrument that she could use to pick the lock of the door. Finally, she found something she thought would do the trick. She rushed back to the door in question and pushed the pin into the handle. She fiddled with it for almost a full minute, before she heard the click of the lock as it finally gave over. She reached back down to the handle, and twisted. The doorknob turned in her hand. The door creaked open a sliver.

“Kara?” Lena spoke in a tremulous voice, giving the blonde one final chance to respond before she forced her way inside, “Hey, I’m coming in.” She pushed her way inside, taking a step into the small room that was now filled from floor to ceiling with steam. Lena felt her breath catch, as her eyes found Kara through the opaque vapor. Kara was sitting against the back wall of the shower, while water continued to rain down on her from the faucet. She noticed with a pang, that Kara was still in her underwear. The blonde hadn’t even thought to take them off before stepping into the spray. Kara’s head was buried in her knees, while her arms were wrapped around her legs in a sort of hug. Lena’s heart broke, when she heard Kara’s broken and shuddering breaths. And before she could even think about it, she was stepping inside of the small shower in order to cut the flow of water. She got drenched in the process, but she didn’t even care. Lena knelt down in the shallow pool of water in front of Kara, reaching out for her. “Kara,” Lena’s voice was finally enough to get Kara to lift her head. Gazes collided with one another, and Lena stopped breathing. 

Kara was so lost in her own feelings, and in the noise of her broken sobs that she hadn’t heard Lena calling her name. It wasn’t until she felt gentle hands pull her own away, that she looked up to see saddened green eyes. Kara’s knees fell away from her chest, as she took in the way that Lena was kneeling in front of her.

Gently, Lena reached out to wipe away Kara’s tears. “Hey,” the brunette soothed. “It’s okay. I’m here.” Lena pulled Kara into her arms, holding onto her tightly – almost as if she might never let go. Kara closed her eyes, holding onto the other woman for dear life.

 _It's addictive the minute you let yourself think_  
_The things that I say just might matter to someone_  
_All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away_  
_And for the first time I think I'd consider to stay_

“I – I saw a boy die yesterday,” Kara told her in a thick voice, as tears built in her eyes. “He died in my arms.” Lena pulled away to meet Kara’s eyes.

“Kara,” Lena had been told all of this already. But hearing it from Alex was different, because the brunette hadn't been directly involved. Now, Lena could see the pain in Kara’s eyes - she could hear the pain reflected in the blonde’s words, and it pulled at her in ways that were indescribable. She felt tears build in her own eyes.

“He was so scared, Lena,” Kara whispered, as tears escaped from the corner of her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. “I’ve never seen that degree of fear in a little boy’s face before. But he knew – he _knew_ he was going to die.” Lena pulled Kara into her arms just as the blonde’s body gave over and a sob was torn from her best friend’s throat. “I kept telling him that he was okay. I kept reassuring him that he was going to be okay, even though I _knew_ he was going to die. I _lied_. I lied and I hate myself for it. His parents were screaming at me to do something. They were _begging_ me to save him, and I just _froze_. I knew it was already too late. I couldn't...I couldn't do _anything_. It should have been _me_. It should have been me that died.” Lena couldn't stop the noise that escaped her after hearing Kara say that. She knows that it's true. The blonde happily would have given her own life in order to save the boy. And perhaps, that's what made this situation all the more heartbreaking. Lena felt selfish for wanting the blonde to be safe - for valuing Kara's life over someone else's. She honestly didn't know what to say - what to feel anymore. All she knows is that she loves Kara and she doesn't want to ever lose her.

“Shh,” Lena soothed as she rocked Kara back and forth. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Kara. " Kara just buried her face in Lena’s shoulder and cried. "I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry that you had to go through that. I love you. I love you, and I’m here."

 _Because you matter to me_  
_Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody_  
_You matter to me_  
_I promise you do, you, you matter too_  
_I promise you do, you'll see_  
_You matter to me_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for now! Please take a second to leave a comment if you liked it (or didn't like it). Thanks! :)


	6. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara opens up to Lena about a lot of things. It's basically everything the show won't give us on screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies! I don't even know what to say about this chapter, except that a lot of blood, sweat, and tears went into it. Writing this chapter sort of made me an emotional wreck, so I'm not exactly sure how all of you will take it. But I do hope that you will like it! I'm hoping that things will get a bit lighter from here on out, but I can't promise anything either.
> 
> Thank you to all of you for your support! I couldn't do this story without all of you!

One. One, two. Punch. Jab. Upper cut. One, two.

“You don’t threaten my family,” Kara muttered angrily, punching the cement block over and over and over again. Sweat collected all over her body. Beads of sweat collected on her temples, before sliding down the edges of her face and dripping from her jaw. The air on the back of her neck felt cool as the hair at the nape of her neck became drenched with sweat. She could vaguely feel the dampness collecting on the small of her back, effectively soaking through the wicking fabric of her super-suit. Even its fabric seemed to be no match for the copious amounts of sweat collecting on her body now. Her breath came in heavy rasps as she hit the same spot again and again in the dim light of the training room, chipping slowly away at the concrete block with her fists. There was a fist sized hole in it now. Her muscles swelled under the extension of her limb with each strike, leaving the skin taught over its bone and sinew. She could see ripples move through her arm with each impact of the heavy cement block. Her hands had gone numb a long time ago, and she gritted her jaw against the sensation as it began to feel like just a little too much. She closed her eyes and imagined how good it would feel to beat Lockwood to a bloody pulp. If Kara had her way, she would strike him until he begged her for mercy – begged her for his life. She had to get all of this anger out somehow. But it was difficult, because the man had threatened her family and the people that Kara loved. It was never enough. She knew that she could easily stand there punching the hell out of the lifeless block for the rest of her life, and it still wouldn’t be enough. It was times like this when she wondered why she was still trying? What was the point of fighting a battle she could never win?

One. One two. Side swipe. Another chunk of concrete tumbled to the floor below. Left jab. Left jab, again. Her breathing was uneven now under the heavy exertion. She’s been going at it for hours, non-stop. And now even her legs are tired from holding her up. Her legs shook underneath her own body weight as she danced another step forwards, and then quickly back. A shiver worked its way up her spine, and her body quaked slightly. Her hair was soaked through now, as was her shirt. She opened her icy blue eyes, striking the same spot once more. It felt like the fatigue was actually doing her some favors, now. The racing thoughts - the voices in her head were quiet now, and she knew it was because her mind was getting tired, numb. It was a welcome respite. She and her conscience desperately needed the break. Kara wanted to feel nothing, which is precisely why she was currently trying so hard to force her own body into submission. Her shoulders throbbed with the effort of each punch, and she let out a grunt as she felt the muscles spasm. Still she did not stop. She would not relent. Kara's head started to loll ever so slightly on her shoulders, rocking back and forth. Sometimes she’d tire herself out so very much that she didn’t have to think at all. After all, it was a survival mechanism. She had to do it every so often in order to keep her sanity. The city demanded so much of her - it took so much, until Kara had nothing left to give. Today had been one of those days.

Kara let out a scream as the image of Jeremiah Danvers’ lifeless body surged through her neurons. She hadn’t been able to protect him, and she knew that knowledge would stick with her forever. She kicked the block as hard as she could under her anger – under the pain of that knowledge. The man she'd taken in today had threatened her family, and it had hit close to home – too close. The cement block was no match for the force of the impact. It slid backwards off of the block below it and hit the floor with a loud crack. Kara watched as the block cracked nearly in two, the crack surging through it as quickly as a crack in the earth came to life in the midst of an earthquake.

Kara’s breaths came heavy and fast as she hunched over. She just couldn’t seem to catch her breath, as she struggled to reconcile the anger and the hurt that she felt.

Kara planted two hands on her hips, and struggled to breathe.

Kara’s shoulders tensed as she sensed the gaze of an interloper on her back. She hadn’t heard anyone walk in, but then again, it was hard for her to hear everything over her own loud labored breathing and the sound of her fists connecting with the block. 

“Kara,” Alex’s voice was surprisingly soft, as she spoke up from behind her, “I think that’s enough.”

“No,” Kara said as she straightened up and turned, meeting Alex’s gaze head on.

“I wasn’t asking,” Alex told her as she walked forwards and grabbed Kara by the shoulders. “J’onn said to go home, Kara, and I _know_ that you heard him - so I can't help but wonder _why_ you're still here. It's not like you to defy a direct order."

"Alex-" Kara protested as she met her sister's determined gaze. She could see just from the set of the brunette's jaw that she was fighting a losing battle.

"Go _home,_ Kara," Alex spoke emphatically. "It’s _late_. Between Catco and all of the things that you’ve done today, you haven’t had a single moment to yourself."

“That’s sort of the goal, Alex,” Kara told her with a dramatic huff.

“Kara,” Alex sighed, clearly frustrated with her sister, “You need to go home. You need to _rest_. When you get tired, you get sloppy. I know that you want to help, but you wouldn't be much use to the people of the city when you're like this. So please, you need to just _go_ _home_.” 

“Fine,” Kara told her, as she batted Alex's hands from her shoulders with a little too much vigor. She started to shoulder her way past her sister, but Alex wouldn't let her walk away just yet. 

“Please don’t be angry with me, Kara,” Alex begged of her, as she spun the blonde back around to face her, “You know I’m just trying to take care of you.” 

“I know,” Kara said as she started to calm down, “It’s not you who I’m angry at, Alex. Okay? It's me. I'm the one who always seems to mess this up.”

“I was proud of you today,” Alex said as she pulled Kara into her arms, and gave the blonde a hug, hoping that the gesture would comfort her. Kara was just so hard on herself sometimes - especially now, and Alex hated that she didn't know how to comfort her. “You showed unbelievable restraint. Kara, that guy was doing everything to push your buttons – to make you lose control, but you didn’t. You held it together, and because of that you got the bad guy. I'm proud of you.” 

“You don’t know the sort of things that were running through my head,” Kara argued, as she pulled away, “and If you had, you wouldn't be saying that. Rao, If you hadn’t been in my ear, talking me down, I don’t know what I would have done. He – He threatened _you_ , Alex.” There was so much sadness in Kara's blue eyes that it broke Alex's heart.

“I know,” Alex exhaled, her words scarcely more than puffs of air. "I heard everything."

"I know this is stupid, but when he said that I just - saw red," Kara said as she lifted a hand to her mouth. "I kept seeing you in that tank with the water pouring in and - and now I can't stop seeing that. I was in the middle of a fight and I couldn't stop seeing that picture in my head. I could've killed him."

"Kara," Alex's voice cracked as she saw a ghost of something in Kara's eyes, "Hey, look at me!" The muscles in Kara's neck twitched as she swallowed. "Kara, I mean it, look at me." Kara's gaze finally swiveled to meet Alex's own. "I'm okay. You saved me, remember?"

"But I might not next time, and that _fear_ is always going to be in the back of my mind," Kara confessed for the first time. "I thought I was over it," Kara's following laughter sounded hollow and pain filled, "I thought I got over it a long time ago, but obviously I'm not. Because you're my sister - you're my whole world and I couldn't _protect_ you from him."

"Why have you never told me this before?" Alex questioned. "Kara, if this is honestly the way you feel about it, then you should have told me!" 

"Because you were with Maggie, and I didn't want to pull you away from her," Kara burst out with a frustrated breath, "You know what? Just forget I said anything. You don't need to hear about this right now. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid, if it's how you feel!" Alex said a little too heatedly.

"No," Kara shook her head. "It is! I'm _Supergirl_. And the girl who was speaking to you just now isn't someone I recognize. The guy got in my _head_ , Alex. That's all this was. I'll get over it."

"Kara," Alex practically growled, "You can't just walk away from a conversation every time it starts to get too personal. You need to talk about this with me."

"No, I'm going home," Kara announced with a swish of her cape, as she turned around and started for the door. “You can be glad that I didn’t kill anyone today – or that I didn’t get anyone killed,”

“Kara!” Alex hated that Kara was always walking away from her. Every time that she thought she was getting somewhere, Kara would just blow her off and walk away. Alex honestly didn't know what to do anymore.

“Damn it, Kara!” Alex called after her, sighing as Kara left the room with a slam of the door. Alex let out a groan and looked to the mess left in the middle of the room. Chunks of concrete were piled on the floor, where Kara had literally pulverized them into dust. She knew that any control that the blonde had demonstrated in the field had been lost here, in this room. Instead, she had taken all of her white-hot anger out on the concrete blocks in the middle of the room. 

* * *

On the other side of town, Lena was still in her office trying to make up for lost time. People didn’t seem to realize that running a multi-billion dollar industry took a monumental effort. And as much as she tried, she could never quite seem to catch up on all of her work. Lena found herself shifting uncomfortably as she had the distinct feeling of being watched. And though she tried to ignore the persistent feeling, she couldn’t seem to push it out of her mind. With slow discreet movements she found herself straightening, her hand lingering on the side of her neck over her pulse point, as she twisted it to and fro. Finally, her fingers migrated upwards in order to cover the broad expanse of her jaw. With a tense, ragged breath, Lena realized she had once again imagined it. Jess had gone home a long time ago, and so it was silly to think that anyone else could possibly be there. She was _alone_. Lena shook herself out of the sensation, and stretched, trying in vain to loosen the tightly knotted muscles in her back and shoulders. She out a sigh, as she felt some of the joints give over with a faint pop, and squeezed her eyes shut before trying to rub her exhaustion from her features. Then, she inhaled deeply. It was meant to be another calming breath, but instead she found that it was anything but. She could swear she smelled the smallest hint of perfume in the air. It was Kara’s familiar scent. And so thus, Lena was plagued with another lingering thought of one particular blonde haired, blue eyed hero.

Lena let out a mewl of displeasure and opened her eyes, looking back to the schematic that she had gone over countless times over the course of the last few hours. She was convinced that there was something she was missing, but try as she might, she couldn’t seem to figure out what it was. Her gut, which she had learned to trust over the course of her career, told her that there was a fatal flaw in its construction. Yet, pinpointing it’s flaw – finding it’s weak point was a struggle. Lena let out a growl and tossed the PDA onto the desk’s surface with a little too much vigor. 

“Damn, that PDF must have really done something to piss you off,” A voice startled Lena from her thoughts. "Either that, or you've had a really long day." Lena's head whipped around, and she felt her heart stop as she found Kara standing just inside of the balcony in all of her red, blue, and gold glory.

 _You came into the picture like a natural_  
_You were unexpected, got me spiritual_  
_I don't wanna say it, but maybe it was fate_  
_And I can not contain it_

“Supergirl,” Lena said, as she pushed her chair backwards and quickly pushed her way up and out of her chair. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to gather that you’re displeased,” Kara answered, with an amused glint in her bright blue eyes. Kara unconsciously crossed her arms over her chest as she strode further into Lena's office, as if she belonged there. “I’m sorry if my stopping by is an inconvenience. I just wanted to look in and make sure that everything was okay. After days like today, I like knowing that the people that matter to me are safe.”

“It’s no inconvenience at all,” Lena spoke honestly, her words holding an undeniable warmth and affection to them. “In fact, I rather think that you're saving me."

"Is that so?" Kara answered, as her arms fell away from her chest. Her expression held a hint of smugness to it, and it sent something aflutter in Lena's stomach. Lena couldn't shake the feeling that maybe Kara was flirting with her. But that couldn't be, could it? Kara felt nothing for her outside of friendship.

"Yes," Lena huffed, "It's that damned schematic! I just know that If I have to stare at it for another minute, I am seriously going to go _insane_."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that I'm here then!" Kara said with a small laugh. "We can't afford to have you go off the rails."

"I guess it is," Lena's smile was about enough to make Kara's heart stop.

“Anything I can do to help?” Kara offered, as she stepped forwards and picked up the device with a certain care behind her touch. Kara looked at the device and at the design depicted on its surface, and Lena nearly laughed. Sure, she suspected that the blonde’s knowledge exceeded her own, but she didn’t exactly feel right about asking Kara to do her work for her.

“No,” Lena shook her head, as she gently reached out and prized the device from Kara's fingers. “It’s something that I really have to figure out on my own. I doubt that you’d be able to help.”

“I might take a little offense to that,” Kara murmured gently. “I grew up on a planet that thrived on scientific achievement. Compared to that, this stuff looks like rudimentary science.”

"You have a background in science?" Lena questioned in genuine surprise. "Why have you never mentioned it to me before?"

"Probably because you never asked," Kara shrugged. "I didn't mean to keep it from you. It's just that it never seemed particularly important. It is no longer the path I am meant to walk. Not here on Earth. My responsibilities lie elsewhere now."

"But you were a scientist," Lena breathed. 

"I don't know if I would go so far as to say that, but yeah, I was going to be. On Krypton, I was supposed to be inducted into the Science guild after my twelfth birthday. The truth is, I - I really wanted to follow in my father's footsteps, but I never got the chance. Things changed when we found out about the impending doom of our planet. After that, I was forced to give up my mantle and take up another in its place." Kara's eyes lit up at the memory, and soon a laugh was falling from her lips as she tried to see the humor in all of it.

"Why are you laughing?" Lena couldn't help but ask.

"It's just - My parents would probably be so surprised to find out that I've followed in the footsteps of my Aunt Astra more than I've followed in their own."

"And what did your Aunt do, if you don't mind me asking?" Lena asked out of curiosity.

"Well, she was a General in the Kryptonian military," Kara revealed, "She was tasked with protecting the people of Krypton, and she never gave up in trying to do so... I would like to think that I'm doing the same for the people of Earth. I'd like to think that my parents would be proud of the person I am now, even if it's not what they really wanted for me."

"I'm sure they would, K- Supergirl," Lena only just caught herself at the absolute last minute. "I'm sure they'd be very proud of the person you've become."

"I don't know," Kara shook her head. "I mean, I used to be so _sure_.  I used to think that they would be, but now - now I can't help but think that maybe I was wrong. Maybe they'd be _ashamed_ of me." Kara crossed her arms over her chest as she looked away.

"That's impossible," Lena shook her head, denying Kara's words outright. "You have saved the people of this planet _countless_ times in the short time I have known you, Supergirl, and you have often done so at great personal sacrifice. I have no doubt that they would be proud of you. And I  say that from personal experience. You've saved _me_ , Supergirl. You have saved me, not only from my enemies, but also from _myself_. I don't know what I would do without you." 

"I - I don't know what to say," Kara said shyly. "Thank you, Lena. That means a lot to me."

"Yeah, well it's the truth," Lena told her honestly, her eyes sparkling even in the dim light of her office.

"Are you sure I can't help you in some way?" Kara questioned as she looked back to the PDF.

“Yeah, I'm sure. I really appreciate the fact that you want to help me with this," Lena told her honestly, as she set the device back down on the desk's surface, "but I don’t exactly feel comfortable with letting somebody else do my work for me.” 

“Fair enough,” Kara conceded, as if that was all that needed to be said on the matter. It was then that Kara turned back towards the window. Lena watched, as both of Kara's hands drifted to the small of the blonde's back, before clasping the wrist of the opposing limb. The brunette's gaze lingered just a little bit on the blonde's shoulders as Kara stood momentarily at attention. She could see the strain of the muscles there, even through the fabric of Kara's Supersuit, and Lena imagined what it might feel like to touch them. There was so much strength contained in those muscles, but she knew that it was  _never_ taken for granted. Kara always used the utmost care, the utmost restraint when she used her powers and it honestly blew Lena away. For the longest time now, all Lena wanted to do was feel the sinew under her fingertips - just flesh and bone and nothing else in the way. She can only imagine how incredible it must feel to touch. She let her gaze drift back up to take in Kara's profile, took the way that the blonde's features were just a little tighter than before, and quickly realized that something was bothering the blonde - something Kara hadn't let her see before. Lena moved the few steps that separated them and pressed a hand to the blonde's shoulder. 

"Hey," Lena breathed, as her eyes searched the blonde's face for any discomfort, "Are you okay?"

"Of course," Kara answered her with a smile, but Lena could tell that there was something not quite right about it. The smile didn't quite reach the blonde's eyes in the way that it should have. Lena silently wondered what else could have happened before Kara had come there to see her.

"Why do you ask?" Kara questioned in rebuttal. Lena's hand fell away from the blonde's shoulder as she turned to address Lena properly.

"I - I don't know," Lena admitted, "You seem a little..."

"What?" Kara's voice held a tinge of impatience to it. Lena could see Kara guarding herself against her, and she couldn't help but feel a little hurt by it. She knew that Kara didn't mean to seem cold - that she didn't mean to be distant, but the superhero was doing it to her again.

"Standoffish?" Lena tried, before she let out a frustrated breath. It wasn't like her to have word retrieval issues. "Aloof!" Lena burst out with the word as soon as it popped into her mind. This time she sounded far more comfortable with her assessment. "It's just... I can always tell when something is bothering you, and - something is _definitely_ bothering you."

"It's fine," Kara muttered stubbornly. "I've just had a long day. You don't have to worry about me." Lena let out a sigh, as she gave up on an answer. Why did Kara always make it so difficult to get a straight answer?

"That's a cop out, and you know it!" Lena challenged her. "Why do you suddenly feel the need to protect yourself from me, Supergirl? I thought - I thought we were friends."

"It's not for the reasons you think," Supergirl promised her. "It's just - it's hard for me to talk about, I guess." Kara let out a sigh, and reached up to paw at the back of her neck. She only just barely managed to catch herself at it, and turn the gesture into something else. "Something was said to me today that just - well, it got to me, you know? It got under my skin, and now it's just lingering in the back of my mind. I can't seem to get rid of the thought no matter how hard I try."

"Oh," Lena swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat. She was happy that Kara was giving her something to go on, at least, but she knew that Kara was still holding back.

"I'm sorry, Lena," Kara shook her head.

"You don't have to be sorry," Lena spoke quietly. "I - I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm here any time you need to talk. You obviously know where to find me. I don't know if this is too much of a leap on my part, but I...I'd like to think we're friends."

"We _are_ friends," Kara laughed, "Lena, you're like one of my _best_ friends."

"I guess we both have Kara to thank for that, don't we," Lena teased.

"Yeah," Kara laughed as she blushed a deep shade of scarlet. The look on Kara's face was suddenly one of smugness. It was like she had a secret that only she was privy to, and it drove Lena wild with frustration. She wanted to just come out with it - to let Kara know that she knew exactly who Supergirl was, but Lena held back.

Silence built between the two of them, for several awkward minutes, as they both struggled with what to say or do.

“I don’t like it,” Lena murmured finally as she looked back at the discarded PDA. “I hate not knowing what is wrong with my work. I just know that I’m missing something important.”

“Do you know what I do when I encounter a problem that I can’t solve?” Kara asked as she walked calmly over to Lena’s desk, running her fingers over its surface, as she circled it. Kara liked the brunette’s desk with its clean elegant lines, and she loved running her fingers over its smooth, glassy surface. Lena watched Kara do this with rapt attention. Kara was so graceful, and her actions so unbelievably controlled when she was Supergirl that it was as if she and Kara Danvers were two completely different people. And now, after much contemplation, Lena was sure that her clumsiness as Kara Danvers was nothing more than a clever ruse – a way for the blonde to fit into society. 

“What?” Lena's voice sounded strained as she swallowed over the lump in her throat. Kara took a step towards her, than another and another. It was like they were doing a sort of dance. A heartbeat later, and Kara was right in front of her. 

“I take a step back,” Kara told her, as she took a final step forwards. It was so contradictory to the blonde's words, that it struck Lena with a strange sensation. Lena felt a shiver work its way down her spine as the blonde’s breath ghosted in her ear. Kara spoke into it with a quiet, but jarring voice. “I come back to it later. For some reason, it’s always when I’m not actively thinking about the problem, that the answer just sort of comes to me. And more often than not, it comes to me in a way that I’m not quite expecting.”

 _And I know, and I know it's a different love_  
_And I know, and I know that you make me better_  
_It's a love that will keep me holding on_  
_And I know, and I know we only get better_

“I -” Lena felt her breath catch, as Kara stepped back and they locked eyes. Kara’s bright blue eyes were shining brightly in the well-lit office, and Lena felt her heart rate pick up as she realized how close Kara was standing to her now. “How are you real?” Lena asked her in amazement, her voice scarcely above a whisper.

“Umm…” Kara honestly didn’t know how to answer that question.

“You’re like a phantom, always coming and going in the night,” Lena explained further, her voice sounding breathy as she spoke the words, "But you're real enough when I _touch_ you." Kara swallowed under the brunette's attention. For some reason, it was always easier for Kara to give attention, than it was for her to receive it. “You have a bit of soot,” Lena told her as she tentatively lifted a hand to Kara’s face. It was almost as if she were afraid the blonde might disappear, “Right here.” Lena let her fingers run over the blonde’s jaw, feeling it clench in response.

“There was a warehouse fire down by the docks,” Kara explained, "and I guess that I got a little dirty in the process of clearing the building.”

“Yeah, I saw it on the news,” Lena said as she withdrew her hand, relinquishing her touch. “There, I think I got it all.” Now that Kara mentioned it, she smelled the faintest hint of smoke in the air and Lena suspected that Kara hadn't been able to get it all out of her hair, or her suit.

“Thanks,” Kara smiled, and Lena felt her throat grow dry.

“Anytime,” Lena responded, with her own beaming smile.

“Well, I should – I should probably get going,” Kara murmured, her voice sounding more like Kara's in that moment than it had during their whole interaction. “And _you_ should go home. You look tired, Lena. I really don’t want you working yourself into a coma.”

“There’s always so much work to do,” Lena explained, her voice holding a tinge of frustration to it. “I wish I could say that I was done for the night, but I still have more that I have to-”

“I know,” Kara interrupted her gently, though she did so in a way that wasn't disrespectful, “But I think you’ll find that the work will still be here tomorrow. You’ve got to take care of yourself, Lena, and right now? That means getting some sleep.”

“The same goes for you, you know?” Lena daringly countered. “You’ve been all over this city today. You’ve been working overtime in cleaning up the city – for weeks, and I can't help but wonder how on earth you haven’t run yourself into the ground yet. You need to take care of yourself, Supergirl. Look, I know that this city depends on you, but even so, heroes need their rest too.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Kara told her, as she walked to the balcony that she had entered from just a few short minutes ago, “I’ll call it a night, at this very minute, if you promise to do the same.” 

Lena opened her mouth to offer some sort of a rebuttal, but it was already too late. Kara was already gone. The blonde had once again disappeared off into the night. Lena turned and let out a sigh, as she walked over to the balcony doors. She stepped out onto it and looked up, her eyes searching for the figure that she knew was out there somewhere. She hated how Kara did that - how the blonde was there one moment and gone the next. With another levied breath, Lena turned and walked back inside, pulling the balcony doors shut behind her with a soft click. Lena walked back over to the desk and started gathering her things. She supposed that there was a small bit of sense to the words that Kara had spoken. Especially because she got the sense that she could easily spend the rest of the night staring at the schematics on the PDA, and still wouldn’t be able to pinpoint where R&D had gone wrong. Maybe taking a step away from the problem and giving herself some time to think about it, would help her.

Lena had just slipped the PDA into her bag when her phone started going off on the desk’s surface. Lena plucked it up and glanced at the display. She paused briefly as she saw Alex’s name on the display, but then she spurred herself into action once more and answered it. 

“Good evening, Agent Danvers,” Lena greeted in as chipper a voice as she could manage. “To what do I owe this pleasure? Kara was just here.”

“She was?” Alex asked, and Lena could hear the surprise in the other woman's voice. She got the sense that Kara should not have been at L-Corp at all that evening.

“Yeah, she said that she was just checking in to make sure I was okay,” Lena answered in reply, feeling the need to explain, “But I got the sense that something was bothering her.”

“Ah,” Alex responded in a strained voice, “Yeah. Something happened today that unsettled her. Someone she apprehended this afternoon threatened to hurt the people she loves. He seemed to know about her secret identity. And, well, after that something like that happens, Kara gets a bit overprotective. She likes to know that everyone she cares about is okay. She’s had friends who have gotten hurt because of who she is, and that weighs on her constantly. It's another reason I think she hasn’t told you who she is. She’s worried that telling you might put you in more danger somehow.” 

“She does know who my family is, right?” Lena joked, “I’m already in constant danger. If Lex's thugs aren't trying to kill me, it's Lillian's thugs that _are_.” 

“She knows that,” Alex replied with a small chuckle, “And that’s why she really doesn’t want to add to that.” Silence built between them for a few moments, effectively jarring Lena's nerves. 

“So, not to sound impatient,” Lena sighed as she reached up to run a hand over her face, “But why are you calling? I was just about to head home for the night.”

“Well,” Alex cleared her throat, and Lena could tell immediately that the elder Danvers sister was uneasy. “It looks like I’m going to be stuck here for the night. J’onn made Kara go home, but somebody has to work the night-shift in order to watch over the city while Kara’s sleeping.”

“Oh," Lena's breath caught. "And you want me to go keep an eye on her in your stead,” Lena spoke slowly, as she caught on to where the brunette was going with her line of thought.

“In no uncertain terms? Yes,” Alex replied in a tired voice. "Yes, I was hoping you could do that."

“Don't you think that she’s going to get a little suspicious if I stay over at her place two nights in a row?” Lena questioned. Lena let out a deep breath, before continuing. “It's already almost eleven o’clock at night on a week night. Of course... I can try and play it off as something else, but i don't know if she'll buy it. Kara is extremely perceptive.” 

“You have a point there,” Alex groaned quietly on the other end of the phone. “You know what? You're probably right. It might trigger warning bells if you show up there again so soon. I’m... I'm sure she’ll be all right for one night. I guess that I just wanted to let you know what was going on, as per our arrangement. You have a good night, Lena. And get some sleep. You sound tired.”

“Wait,” Lena didn't feel right with doing that. The truth is, her mind was already made up. She had to see Kara again. She had to make sure Kara was okay. Because ever since Kara had left her alone in Lena's office, Lena couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. “No, I’ll go over there. I really don't want Kara to be alone tonight. Not after how she was acting earlier.”

“Okay,” Alex sounded genuinely relieved. “Thanks, Lena! And hey, If you’re feeling _particularly_  generous, you could always stop by that one place she likes and get her a double cheese pizza. I know for a fact that she hasn’t eaten anything all day, and her metabolism is like thrice as high as a normal humans.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Lena teased, with a small laugh.

“Oh, and there’s that place that she likes that has really good Potstickers,” Alex said as an afterthought. “I’m telling you, you’d earn some _serious_ bonus points with her if you showed up at her place with pizza _and_ potstickers.”

“I’m on it, Alex,” Lena told her. This time her laugh was almost boisterous. “Just text me the numbers of both places, and I’ll take care of it.” 

“You’re a godsend, Lena,” Alex said passionately. “Truly, you are. My sister has to be the luckiest person on the planet."

"Stop it," Lena told her. "You flatter me too much."

"I do," Alex chuckled. "I mean it though, Lena, Kara's really lucky to have you in her life."

“It’s no trouble,” Lena replied, but she didn’t know exactly why she'd said that. After all, it required a lot of effort in order to be able to take care Kara Danvers, but she found that she _wanted_ to do those things, for Kara.

“Thanks again,” Alex breathed. Lena faintly heard an alarm start going off on the other end of the phone. She heard somebody call out Alex's name. “Oh shit, I really have to go. Take care of her for me.”

“You got it,” Lena confirmed before the line clicked dead. She supposed that Alex was about to be extremely busy taking care of the city, and she wondered what it must be like for the brunette. After all, Kara had superpowers, and _Alex_ did not. However, she suspected that whatever Alex lacked in super-strength she more than made up for in extensive training.

* * *

A half an hour later saw Lena pacing back and forth in front of Kara’s door. She’d knocked several times, but still had yet to receive an answer. She hadn't heard so much as a single noise from inside, and so she knew that Kara _still_ wasn’t home. She'd been trying very hard to be patient, but over the last few minutes, doubt had slowly crept its way into her thoughts. Was she truly doing the right thing blindsiding Kara with her presence like this? What if the blonde didn't want to see her again so soon? Lena let out a huff, as the negative thoughts won out. She had just turned and was about to make her way back down the hallway to the stairs, when Kara tiredly trudged up the last few stairs and into Lena’s field of vision. Lena’s eyes raked hungrily over the blonde’s frame, as if she hadn’t just seen Kara less than an hour before. Lena's heart fell as realized that Kara looked exhausted, and beyond defeated as Kara Danvers. She was hunched over, staring at her feet while one hand clutched at the strap of her bag. It was because of this that she didn’t realize that she wasn’t alone - at least not at first. But finally, after a slight delay, the blonde’s eyes lifted from the floor and found Lena’s awaiting gaze.

“Lena?” Kara gasped, her expression suddenly brightening at Lena's presence. “Hey! What are you doing here?” Then. "Please don't tell me that I forgot we made plans."

“No, it's nothing like that. It's – It's just that I got done with a late night at the office, and I uh... I thought that maybe you’d like some company and some food.” Lena watched as Kara slowly worked through what Lena was telling her. Lena was well-aware of how the blonde remained silent for just a tad bit too long, and so she jumped on it.

“Of course, when I came over, I didn’t realize that you doing the same,” Lena laughed. “You look exhausted, Kara. Are you just getting home from work?” She asked as she glanced down at her watch. It was pushing past midnight now.

“I - Yeah,” Kara answered as she reached up to paw at the back of her neck with her other hand. “It’s been kind of a long day.” 

“If now isn’t a good time, I can go,” Lena offered, though she didn't want to leave - not really.

“No!” Kara was quick to protest, “No, I would love your company, Lena! Let me - Let me just get the door.” Kara quickly produced her keys and pushed the appropriate one into the lock. With a turn of her wrist the lock clicked open, and Kara pushed the door open and led Lena inside. The brunette padded over to the island and set the pizza box down on its surface. She couldn’t stop the smile from overtaking her lips as she saw Kara’s eyes greedily rake over the box and the bag on top of it.

“You brought pizza?” Kara said adorably, as her eyes visibly widened, “ _And_ Potstickers?”

“You hungry?” Lena questioned. 

“I’m ravenous,” Kara told her as she shut the door, and bolted it. Lena watched as she quickly walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a couple of plates. She and Alex usually ate it straight out of the box, but she knew that Lena was a bit more refined. “I wasn’t able to take a lunch break today, and skipped dinner, so you’re kind of my hero right now.” 

“I’m glad to be of service,” Lena said, with a mocking bow. She straightened, as Kara handed her a plate. The blonde patiently waited for Lena to take what she wanted, before she piled several slices on her own plate. Kara quickly unrolled the bag and pulled out the plastic container inside. She opened it and set it down on the counter for Lena to take from. Lena fished out one of the potstickers and put it on her plate. She didn't like the idea of consuming so many calories this late at night, but she supposed it would be okay to do so, just this once.

“You want anything to drink?” Kara asked her, as she walked over to the fridge and pulled open the door with a soft creak. The blonde must’ve grabbed the handle just a little too hard in her hand, because she snapped it clean off in her hand. Lena turned away and pretended not to notice, as Kara tossed the handle into the sink - most likely making a mental note to fix it later.

“Just some water,” Lena said between bites of her pizza.

Kara pulled out a couple bottles of water and walked back over, handing it to Lena with such gentleness that it struck a chord in Lena. Lena felt her heart rate quicken as their fingers brushed in the exchange. Lena wondered what it must be like, to always worry about hurting those around you - to always have to demonstrate so much restraint. No, she did not envy Kara in the least. Lex had gotten it wrong. Sure, the Kryptonians had extraordinary powers, and they could leave a trail of destruction in their wake if they really wanted to. But she _knew_ Kara. She saw the kind of person Kara was. The blonde would sooner hurt herself than she would ever harm another living soul.

“You want to watch some Netflix and relax a bit?” Kara asked her as they locked eyes.

“Oh, do I ever!” Lena said with a laugh, as she made her way over the couch, and plopped down on it with a little too much vigor. Kara followed her. It looked almost peculiar to Lena, as she realized that blonde was stepping lightly so as to not shake the floor. "After the day I've had, I think some relaxation is exactly what I need."

"I'm glad I can be of service," Kara joked, repeating Lena's words from earlier in a way that made Lena's heart stop. Kara gently lowered herself to the cushion on the other end of the sofa. 

After spending several minutes spent arguing over what to watch, Lena finally got Kara to agree to watch Firefly. She had described it to the blonde as a being a sort of Space Western, knowing that Kara wouldn’t be able to turn down something that made her think of space, and therefore, _home_.  

"It's really good," Lena reassured her. "Trust me, if they can make a fan out of Lena Luthor, you'll like it too."

“Oh, please. You just want to watch it because it has Nathan Fillion in it,” Kara told her with a roll of her eyes, as she picked up the remote and hit play. She tossed it onto the coffee table with another overly dramatic sigh, though Lena could see a smile playing on the blonde's lips. Lena momentarily wondered what it would feel like to kiss them. They looked undeniably soft, and it drove Lena out of her mind thinking about it. Finally, she shook herself out of it.

“And what’s wrong with knowing what I like…or rather _who_ I like?” Lena questioned. Lena burst out into laughter as she heard the blonde growl under her breath. She suspected that Kara might be just a little jealous of Nathan Fillion, and that thought made her stomach fill with butterflies. If only Kara knew that there was no need to be jealous. Because there was no one else that Lena had eyes for, apart from Kara.

Twenty minutes later, Kara grudgingly admitted that she liked the show. “It’s not half bad. It’s a little campy, but I can see why it was so well loved. I like the dynamic of the show.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Lena replied with a laugh and a smile. "I was honestly surprised that you've never seen it before," Lena told her as she took in everything about her best friend. Kara looked beautiful, but Lena could see from the set of the blonde's shoulders that she was still tense. Lena kicked off her heels, and tucked her legs up on the couch, hoping that maybe if Kara saw her do this, then she would relax a little bit and remember that they were just relaxing. Minutes later, when Kara did the same, Lena felt their feet brush. The resulting feeling had the brunette raking in a sharp breath. “So I have a very important question for you.”

“Hmm?” Kara hummed quietly. She was clearly distracted by what was happening on screen.

“Who’s your favorite character so far?” Lena asked.

“Well, I think that it’s between Wash and Kaylee,” Kara told her, "Though I like Captain Reynolds, too."

“Interesting,” Lena hummed. “So if given the choice between Captain Reynolds or Kaylee, you would pick Kaylee.”

“What are you asking?” Kara asked, as she tore her eyes away from the screen and looked directly into Lena’s emerald green eyes.

“Oh I think you know _exactly_ what I’m asking,” Lena told her, as her eyes twinkled in mischief.

“You’re asking me who I would rather…” Kara visibly gulped. 

“Sleep with, yes,” Lena finished for her, her eyes raking hungrily over the color rapidly filling the blonde’s cheeks. 

“Oh, It’s hard to say,” Kara cleared her throat. “They both kind of hold an appeal for me, but I think I’m drawn to Kaylee more. She’s got this sort of innocence about her that I relate to.” 

“Innocence?” This earned a full-throated laugh from the brunette. 

“Haha,” Kara shot back with another roll of her eyes. “Laugh it up, Luthor. Okay, so innocence might not have been the right choice of word. After all, her first scene on the show _is_ a sex scene, but I think you know what I mean. She’s got this naivety – this idealism that I relate to a lot. And in that way, she’s innocent. I don’t know… I - I just feel the way that I feel, okay? You don’t have to ridicule me for it.” 

“Kara,” Lena sighed, as she realized she’d upset the blonde somehow, “I’m not making fun of you, I swear.”

“Are you sure? Cause it sort of feels like you are,” Kara argued, the muscles in her arms tightening as her hands twitched. It was as if she actually had to resist the urge to squeeze them into fists. She could see the blonde start to guard herself emotionally.

“No,” Lena shook her head. “I just – I guess I didn’t realize that you were…”

“What?” Kara sighed.

“Bisexual,” Lena breathed slowly, nearly whispered.

“That’s because I’m not. One thing that you should probably know about me is that I don’t like labels, especially because I don’t feel attraction and don’t see gender in the way that most people do,” Kara explained. “The attraction that I feel for someone often stems from the emotional connection that I feel with them, and not based off of any physical aspects."

"So you don't like sex," Lena said slowly, hesitantly. She didn't know why she felt let down by Kara's answer.

"Oh no," Kara answered her, in a way that reassured her, "I like sex just as much as the next girl, that much I can assure you. It just doesn’t mean anything to me _unless_ I feel emotionally connected to my partner. I get no enjoyment out of it otherwise.”

“Oh,” Lena swallowed, “I didn’t realize that people were like that.”

“Well, that’s probably because we haven’t talked about it.” Kara met and held her gaze. “Look, is all of this going to be a problem? Cause if it is, I would understand. Not everybody is okay with it.”

“No,” Lena shook her head, “It’s not a problem, Kara. I’m completely fine with it, I promise.”

“Let’s just watch the show, okay?” Kara asked her as she turned back to the screen.

An hour went by, and the fatigue slowly caught up with both of them. Kara blinked back the sleep from her eyes, and turned to regard the woman who had stolen her heart. She felt her heart clench as she took in the woman’s beautiful profile. Lena had lost her battle with consciousness, drifting off at some point during the episode. With careful, measured movements Kara reached for the remote and soundlessly switched off the television. She climbed off of the couch, and stood. With certain gentleness, she lifted the brunette’s body into her arms, making sure not to jostle the woman awake with her actions. Lena settled into her arms, as the blonde carried her in a sort of bridal carry. She padded quietly for the bed, and the brunette’s head lolled on her shoulder while her hands wrapped around Kara’s neck in a loose hold. She could feel the brunette’s even, regular breaths on the skin of her chest, and Kara felt relaxed for the first time all day. She walked to the side of the bed, and eased Lena down on it with one hand while pulling the covers back with the other. She tucked Lena in, and she watched as the woman snuggled back against the pillows with a soft mewl of pleasure.

Kara used her super-speed to take a quick shower, and change into a set of PJ’s. She carefully eased into her side of the bed, and closed her eyes. She drifted into a peaceful sleep as she listened to the calming, regular rhythm of Lena’s heartbeat.

Hours later, in the heart of the night, Kara was catapulted into consciousness with a jolt. She shot upwards in bed as she won out against the very worst of her nightmare. Her back left the pillows that had been propping her up in sleep, as all the muscles there tightened painfully. The name that was so desperately pulled from her lips only moments ago in the heat of the dream, became lost somewhere in the wake of it, and died on them a moment later in a sort of whisper. Kara’s chest heaved against the air, as sweat dripped from her brow and down into her eyes, stinging them in the process. Kara’s torso dropped back to the mattress, and she let out an audible groan, as she struggled to catch her breaths. Even after a full minute, they still came in ragged, inconsistent gasps. She struggled to forget. She did not wish to remember the dream, and she waited for the moment that the details effectively slipped from her mind and became just like every other dream. Intangible. Kara glanced over towards her bedmate, hoping that she hadn’t roused the slumbering brunette on the other side of her bed. She was relieved when she found Lena's serene expression, in order to see that she hadn't woken her. Carefully, Kara slipped out of bed, padding her way across the room to the bathroom.

With a flick of the light switch Kara stepped inside, and with another gasp she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. There were days that she would just stare into the mirror with detached interest. It was hard to explain, but sometimes she felt like she was some sort of ghost, about to fade away into nothingness. It was like a part of her was still missing and she needed to get it back. Tonight was no different. As she stared into the mirror, the blonde hardly recognized herself.

With a sharp inhale Kara squeezed her eyes shut, reaching down to turn on the tap with her left hand. She reached out for the sink with her right, wincing as fingers wrapped around cool porcelain. Opening her eyes, Kara cupped her hands under the cold water, letting it pool in them before she bent down to splash it onto her face. She let out another deep breath, repeating the action a second and then a third time. Finally, she was satisfied. She plucked a clean hand towel from the bar next to the sink and patted her face dry. She walked back out into the darkness, padding over to her favorite thinking spot. As quietly as she could manage, Kara pushed open window and sat down in its confines, looking up into the waiting sky beyond almost wistfully.

Lena wasn’t sure what woke her in the heart of the night. Only that her eyes opened to near darkness, while a cool breeze floated in through an open window. She rolled over with a sleepy groan, trying to feel out the things around her, as her hand groped over cold sheets. A shiver worked its way up her spine, as the cool air licked at her skin, and Lena let out a sleepy sigh as she found the other side of the bed to be empty. She pushed herself up off of the mattress, while her eyes searched for the blonde.

“Kara?” Lena called out into the silence, as her eyes searched the shadows cast over the room. She pushed herself out of bed, actively seeking out her noticeably absent blonde companion.

Lena found Kara sitting in the windowsill, in near darkness. She noticed how the blonde’s head was tilted backwards against the sill, as if the blonde were looking upwards into the sky above. And with a start, she realized that that was exactly what Kara was doing. She padded softly forwards, towards where Kara sat with arms wrapped around herself in a pseudo embrace. The blonde did not respond to the call of her name, nor the sound of Lena’s footsteps as the brunette padded closer. Lena swallowed thickly, as she took in the sight. If Kara had looked like a phantom before in her office, she most certainly did so now, blending into the space between the shadows and the moonlight.

 _I came into your picture such a broken fool_  
_A million different pieces looking back at you_  
_Believe me when I say this, I was giving up_  
_But now you come and save me_  

Lena felt herself reach out for the blonde before she could really stop herself. Fingers slid gently over the skin of Kara’s shoulder as she attempted to gain the blonde’s awareness through touch, since all of her other attempts had failed. She was pleased when it earned a reaction from Kara. She tried to ignore the way that the blonde stiffened underneath the unexpected touch. After all, she knew the blonde had likely just been startled. Kara reluctantly tore her eyes away from the sky, and turned her neck towards where Lena stood a foot or so away from her. Lena immediately noticed the almost vacant look in Kara’s eyes, and realized that the blonde had been somewhere far away – perhaps somewhere unreachable. She silently wondered if Kara had been thinking of home – of Krypton.

“Hey,” Lena breathed as she moved to stand on the other side of the windowsill. “It's late. What are you doing out here?”

"Nothing," Kara shrugged. It was a blatant lie, but Lena was not overly bothered by it. She was just worried about Kara.

"Come back to bed," Lena pleaded as she took Kara's hand in her own and gave it a gentle tug, "It's cold without you there. I miss you."

“I – I'm sorry,” Kara told her in a small voice as she met Lena’s eyes. "It's just that I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't bear to stay in that bed with all of these thoughts swirling around in my head."

“Oh,” Lena breathed in surprise. She silently wondered how often the blonde had trouble sleeping. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Kara reassured her, but Lena could hear the quaver in the blonde’s words.

“Kara, you’re not fine," Lena disputed gently, "You're sitting out here in the middle of the night. I think that _hardly_  constitutes being fine.” These words earned her a soft sigh from Kara's lips.

“I woke up from a dream,” Kara finally conceded, though her words were somewhat reluctant, “And I couldn’t make myself go back to sleep afterwards.”

“A nightmare? Do you want to talk about it?” Lena asked her as she sat down across from the blonde, her legs finding the spaces between Kara's. “Maybe it’ll make you feel better, if you talk about what’s bothering you.” 

“I don’t know if I would call it a nightmare,” Kara told her, “But I dreamt of home - of the place where I used to live before my parents died. Specifically, I dreamt of my mother.” Lena knew immediately that Kara was talking about Krypton. Kara had dreamt of a place that no longer existed, and Lena was beginning to understand how such a dream could have unsettled Kara. Still, she wasn’t sure what to say, because she wasn't exactly supposed to know about it.

For Kara’s sake, she had to ask, “What about the dream makes it bad?”

“It – It just reminds me of what I’ve lost,” Kara explained, “It made me miss home. It made me miss my parents.” 

“Is that why you’re out here?” Lena felt like she was prying, asking all of these questions, but she thought it might help Kara to talk about how she was feeling.

“Yeah,” Kara answered almost hesitantly, “It must seem kind of strange to you - me sitting out here in the middle of the night?” Lena nodded wordlessly.

 _And I know, and I know it's a different love_  
_And I know, and I know that you make me better_  
_It's a love that will keep me holding on_  
_And I know, and I know we only get better_

“It’s just that whenever I feel particularly sad, or whenever missing them starts to feel like just a little too much, I like to come out here and imagine that – they’re looking down on me,” Kara explained, “For some reason, they don’t seem quite so far away when I’m out here looking up at the stars– they don’t seem quite as far away.”

Lena wondered if Kara could see Rao’s light, here, even from tens of light years away. Kara didn't have the benefit of a telescope, but Lena suspected that Kara might be able to see it with her enhanced vision. Again, Lena was well aware that she wasn’t supposed to know what Rao was, but she’d heard Kara mention it several times before, and it had piqued her interest. She had been determined to find out about its significance - to find out exactly what it meant to Kara. And finally, after extensive research, she found out that Rao was Krypton’s star. But it was more than that. Rao was also their creator, their  _god_.

"I wonder about what they would say to me," Kara breathed aloud, "I wonder what advice they would give me, but mostly I just wonder if they would be proud of me."

"I'm sure they would be," Lena spoke tenderly, as she reached out for the woman across from her. "They would be so proud of the amazing woman you are, Kara, I _know_ it." 

"You have to say that, because your my friend," Kara laughed as she met Lena's eyes. But the look in the blonde's eyes was one of sadness.

"I don't _have_ to say anything," Lena said adamantly. "God, you really don't see yourself in the way that others do, do you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kara said with a shrug. 

"Kara, you're amazing," Lena breathed. "You're incredible, and i'm not just saying that because I'm your friend. I'm saying it because it's true." Kara shook her head. Lena's kind words had momentarily rendered her speechless.

“Why don’t you ever talk about them?” Lena questioned a moment later, “Your parents?

“I don’t know,” Kara told her with a shake of her head. She sounded unsure, as she explained, “It just seems easier, I guess. I mean nothing that I say, or that I do is ever going to bring them back. Thinking of them, remembering the way things used to be, it just seems like this whole other life.”

“I imagine that it does,” Lena said as she reached out for the blonde’s knee, giving it a squeeze.

"That's because it is a whole other life," Kara said with absolute certainty, "One that doesn't exist now."

“I feel stupid for dwelling on it,” Kara confessed, “I mean what good does it do thinking about the way things used to be? This is my life now. This is what I wake up every day in order to face.”

 _Love can terrify, love can start a fire_  
_Holding on tonight, we're burning like a lighter_  
_Everything inside us burning with desire, now_

“How old were you when you lost them?” Lena asked. She knew that Kara had been old enough to remember them, but not much else.

“It was fifteen years ago, now,” Kara breathed. “I was twelve when it happened. I - I wasn’t just making stuff up when I said that I’ve spent half of my life wishing that I could talk to people that were no longer here, Lena. I was speaking from the heart. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t fantasized about being able to see them again. And as much as I've tried, I can’t stop thinking about what my life would have been like.”

“I’m sorry, Kara,” Lena apologized. “That must be so difficult.”

“It’s okay,” Kara told her in a detached voice, as the arms wrapped around her own body squeezed as if to hold everything in. 

“Kara,” Lena sighed. She hated that Kara felt like she had to pretend like it was. It wasn’t okay - not even close.

“Okay, so it’s not okay,” Kara admitted, finally. "In fact, it's the complete opposite of okay." 

“I know that you’ve said that you don’t like to talk about them, but – “ Lena hesitated, not knowing whether she should ask this of the blonde, “would you tell me about them – your parents?”

“I don’t know if I _can_ ,” Kara whispered. She gave a slight pause, before asking. “I mean, which version of them do you want to hear about, because there are two sides? There's the way I remember them from home, and then there's the side of them that I've learned about since their passing.”

“I’d like to know about both, I guess,” Lena shrugged. “I'd just like to know about the people who made you into the woman you are today.”

“Well, when I was twelve I saw my parents as these unshakable heroes," Kara began hesitantly, as if feeling out her words, "It’s hard for me to fully recall now, all these years later, but I – wouldn’t be lying if I say that I thought that they could walk on water. My family came from a long line of honorable men and women, so I couldn’t help but be proud of my lineage. And not only that, but I flaunted it. I was always quick to tell anyone who asked who my parents were. I was proud of them and all of the amazing things that they’d accomplished. Of course, I saw everything then through the idealistic views of a twelve year old. This might surprise you, but I was optimistic to a fault. I wanted to see the best in everyone, and so, at the time I didn’t realize that there was another much darker side to them both that they kept hidden from the world.”

“What do you mean?” Lena asked with genuine curiosity. 

“You aren’t the only one who is ashamed of your family, Lena,” Kara told her through a thick voice. "I've worked very hard to step out of my family's shadow. I've tried so hard to atone for their crimes." Kara let out a sharp breath. "I know you know how difficult that is - to try and undo all of the unspeakable things that your mother and Lex have done. Only, in my case, I'm battling _ghosts_ \- memories of them."

“You were asking about my parents,” Kara breathed, “Well, I’ll - I’ll start with my Dad. My Dad was a well renowned scientist, and he was just about the best father that anyone could ask for. He was brilliant, he was driven, but he was also _kind_. I was always so worried about impressing him. In fact, I was so worried about making him proud of me that I – I was _obsessed_ with being perfect. When I was nine, I made him this statue as a gift, and I seriously agonized over it for _months_ , trying to get it _just_ right. I must have gone back and redid the wings over a half dozen times, but I could never – I could never seem to get them _quite_ right. The funny thing is, when I finally gave it to him he told me that it was perfect even though I _knew_ for a fact that _it_ _wasn’t_. And yet, he did such a good job of convincing me of it that I felt stupid for ever worrying about it.”

Kara smiled though, the gesture seemed a bit haunted. She saw the ghost of something in Kara's eyes, and knew that the blonde was seeing him in her mind's eye. “That’s just the kind of man he was. He was a good man - a good father.” A fraction of a heartbeat later, and Kara’s smile was gone. The blonde looked almost pained as she said, “But I found out last year, that he – he was the one who created the alien virus your mother tried to unleash on the city. He spent his whole life masquerading as this loving and unprejudiced individual, but in secret he created something that could kill countless people – all because they were _different_ than us.”

“You never told me that,” Lena spoke in slight disbelief.

“No, I was – I was too ashamed, Lena,” Kara said in a hushed voice, “What your mother tried to do was horrible. What _my_ father did? It was so much worse. Hell, it went against _everything_ that he raised me to be. So now I'm left with this stain on all of my memories of him. I mean, how can I ever think of him as anything more than a hypocrite? It’s something that I can’t go back from.”

“Look, your father made a mistake, Kara,” Lena spoke. She realized that was playing the devil’s advocate in this case, but she had a feeling that Kara needed to hear these words, “One mistake doesn’t take away from the sort of person your father was.”

“But it does,” Kara said with utmost conviction, “Because as much as I want to write it off and say that that wasn’t the sort of man he was, that just wouldn’t be true. He wasn’t even sorry for what he did, Lena. He was so blinded by the need to protect our family and the need to protect our planet, that he was willing to commit _genocide_ in order to do it.” 

"I still don't know how to feel about all of it," Kara whispered as she struggled to continue. Lena could see that this was hurting Kara.

“You don’t have to say any more,” Lena said as she looked at Kara. “I can see that this is hard for you. It’s hurting you to talk about it.”

“No, I’ve been keeping this inside for a long time,” Kara admitted for the first time. “And I think it’s going to help me if I just – get it all out.”

“Then, go on,” Lena encouraged her with a gentle smile, “I’m here for you.”

“My mother was one of the strongest people that I’ve ever known, and I miss her dearly,” Kara said with a light in her eyes, “She was this warm, caring, powerful force of nature. But more than that, she was the kind of Mom that would stay home from work anytime that I came down with the slightest fever. She always said that family came first and work second, but not only that, she actually practiced what she preached. She didn’t care what she missed, so long as she knew that she was doing right by my father and I. However, the one thing I remember most about her was that she was a woman of morals, and of character. I think I told you once that she was a Judge. Well, she was. She was a woman of overwhelming conviction – and spirit. She was the very epitome of morality and goodness. She put a lot of bad people away, and as a result I always thought of her as a hero. I think what amazed me the most about her, was that she never let herself get distracted by personal feelings. I just...I thought that was the best quality to have. Unfortunately, at the time I didn't realize such a thing could have such dire consequences. The lack of balance that she had in her life was dangerous. I'm telling you, Lena, that my mother was so determined to see justice done that she didn’t even flinch when faced with her sister's crimes. I used to think that my aunt Astra had done horrible things, I used to think about her and wonder where on earth everything had gone so _wrong,_ but now I realize that there was this whole other side to the story. My Aunt Astra found out about something dangerous - a secret that could jeopardize our very future, and in an effort to draw people's attention to it, she and Non, my uncle, did unspeakable things that wound up getting people killed. My mom looked her own sister in the eye, as my Aunt Astra begged her for mercy, and still put her away for life.” Lena held her breath as she waited for the other shoe to drop. She had the distinct sense that the second half was coming.

“I found out later that my mom used me in order to draw my Aunt out of hiding. She knew that my Aunt loved me dearly, that she would come if I asked her to, and so she encouraged me to contact her. My aunt came. She didn't even hesitate. She just came, because I had asked her to and she loved me. Of course, I had no idea of what my mother had done until my aunt told me of this much later. I realized then that my mother had used me as a pawn - as a means to an end. My mom was willing to do _anything_ in order to achieve what she perceived as being justice, even if it meant using _me_. I really wanted to give my Mom the benefit of the doubt - I really tried. After all, she was just doing what needed to be done in order to get justice. But then I found out that what she’d done that day was _anything_ but,” Kara told her finally, “She put my Aunt away, in order to cover up this horrible secret. And this secret - what my mother was hiding? - It damned near killed us all, Lena. How?" Kara's voice quavered as she continued, "How could my mom have done that? How could she have looked her sister in the eye, and forsaken her like that? But more importantly, how could she have condemned _me_ by doing so?” Kara’s voice held a sharp edge to it, as she said, “She knew! She knew that she was effectively sentencing us all to _death_ , and she still sent my aunt away!”

“You’re shaking,” Lena whispered, as she felt the tremors working their way through Kara’s body.

“I – I’m sorry,” Kara apologized, as she struggled to maintain control of her emotions.

“Kara, what’s wrong?” Lena asked in a soft voice.

“I was... I was worried that this might happen,” Kara said as she looked out the window, turning away from Lena’s gaze. She looked almost embarrassed as her muscles shook, winding themselves tighter and tighter around themselves as she grappled with her anger. “I can’t talk about it, and not feel –“

“Feel what?” Lena prodded gently, her impatience getting the better of her. 

“Angry!” Kara burst out, “I’m just so… _livid_. I’ve been trying to let all these feelings go, but it’s like I’ve had this anger inside of me for so long, that I-“

“That you what?” Lena breathed.

“I’ve forgotten _how_ to be anything else,” Kara admitted as she looked back and met Lena’s piercing stare.

“I’ve tried for so long to reconcile what they did – to make excuses for them, but I still feel _so_ angry,” Kara said with tears in her eyes, “Part of me feels like I’ll never _stop_ being angry.”

“You say you’re angry but you’re crying. It’s hurting you – carrying this pain around with you.” 

“They - They sent me away before they died,” Kara told her, as she wiped away the tears. “They knew what was happening. They knew that they were going to die - that it was inevitable, and they sent me away under the guise of taking care of my cousin.” Kara cleared her throat, as her voice faltered under her words. “I’ve always wondered why my mom didn’t come with me - why she didn’t just wrap her arms around me and never let go. And now I realize that it was because she felt responsible for what was happening. She felt that staying behind – that meeting her end with the rest of those that she’d condemned with her actions, was the right thing to do. She was proud, she was a leader, and so she couldn’t let herself be cowardly, not even for a second.” Lena felt her throat start to close up as she battled back her own tears.

“But she was a _coward_ , because she let me spend every day of my life since then wondering how I was supposed to live in a world without them in it,” Kara said, as a broken sound escaped her throat. “She left _me_ to atone for her sins, and the sins of my family.” 

“Kara –“ Lena began, but she quickly trailed off when she realized that the blonde wasn’t finished.

“I shouldn’t be here, Lena,” Kara told her. “And I think that’s what makes me the angriest of all. I wasn’t given a _choice_. And If I had - if I had been given any say in the matter, I think that I would have _stayed_ with them, because I didn’t want to leave them. My whole life – my whole existence was shattering around me and I got in that vehicle anyway. Why should I have to be the one with all of that pain on my shoulders?”

“I don’t know how to answer your questions, Kara,” Lena admitted, “God, I wish that I could. I wish that I could fully understand everything you’ve been through and what you’re going through now, but I can’t. All I know is that I’m glad that you’re still alive. I’m glad that you’re _here_ , because I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“I shouldn’t be here,” Kara said sadly.

“Don’t you dare say that!” Lena burst out angrily, “There’s no shame in surviving, Kara. _None_. You’ve done what you have to survive.” Lena’s voice softened as she continued, “Whatever your parents did that you blame yourself for – you have to let it go, because it was _not_ your fault. They may have made the wrong choice. They may have hurt you by leaving you - by _forcing_ you to go, but they did so _because_ loved you - _because_ they couldn’t imagine your incredible life being cut short in the way that theirs were.” Lena’s tears overflowed as she said, “I know you’re angry. I know you’re hurt, but please - _please_ don’t think that your being here is a mistake. I love you _so much_ , Kara.”

  
_And I know, and I know it's a different love_  
_And I know, and I know that you make me better_  
_You're enough and you keep me holding on_  
_And I know, and I know we only get better_

“I’m sorry,” Kara apologized. She was sorry for causing the brunette any pain. 

“For what? For being honest?” Lena questioned her, “For telling me something real? For saying what you are  _actually_ feeling, for once?” Lena held Kara’s gaze as she said, “You don’t have to apologize to me for that, Kara. Look, I know that you think that you have to be perfect all the time – that you have to be strong, and brave, and always smiling, but you _also_ have to allow yourself to be human - to feel the pain and the sorrow, and the anger. You have to allow yourself to feel these things, because that’s the thing about pain, Kara, it _demands_ to be felt.”

“How are you so wise?” Kara asked her with a wet laugh. 

“I just spoke from the heart,” Lena told her honestly. “Except for that last bit. _That_ was a quote from a book I read a long time ago. It's stuck with me ever since.”

Kara remained silent.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked her finally. 

“Yeah, I – I think I’m better now, thank you,” Kara smiled weakly, though her eyes still shimmered with tears, “Just having you here helps more than you could ever know. Thank you, Lena.” 

“You’re welcome,” Lena said as she pulled Kara into a fierce embrace, “I will always be here to listen, and I promise that I will never think any less of you. I want you to feel like you can talk to me. You can always talk to me about anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please stay tuned for more! Please leave a comment on your way out, if you have a chance! Thanks! :)


	7. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena defends Kara's honor, and later asks Kara out on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit. (So please don't sue me!)
> 
> Hey, guys! I'm very happy to share this chapter with you all! I hope you like it!

_Woke up whistling like the wind blows_  
_Looking out my window_  
_Just to see the shine_

In the morning, Lena awoke to find herself enveloped in gentle rays of sunlight, and not much else. The covers had been kicked off at some point during the night. After all, Lena had noticed that Kara’s body seemed to run a few degrees warmer than the average person. And when she found herself pressed up against the Kryptonian in sleep, Lena felt as if she were about to ignite. The temperature underneath the comforters and blankets had been nothing short of stifling. Now, however, Lena felt cold. A shiver worked its way down her body, as she missed the blonde’s heat. The beams cast a warm orange glow on Lena’s eyelids. She stirred, making the lengthy transition between a serene dream-like state and what he knew now to be reality. A moan escaped through parted lips. That hadn’t been a dream last night, had it? She and Kara always started out on opposite sides of the bed, but somehow they always ended up pressed against one another. Lena cracked an eye open, her eyelids fluttering as she rolled over on the soft mattress. She noticed with a pang that the blonde was nowhere to be found.

This wasn’t exactly a surprise, as she remembered that the blonde was somewhat of a morning person. In fact, Lena had made many a comment about Kara’s high-spirited disposition on the mornings when she found she had a headache or was particularly tired. Of course, Kara usually managed to win Lena’s good graces on the days where she was overly drained, by showing up out of the blue with her favorite morning latte. Lena’s mouth started to water slightly as she thought about coffee. Oh how glorious it would be to have a good cup of coffee right now. Lena spent a long minute trying to decide if she wanted coffee and breakfast enough to get out of bed. Normally there was no hesitation, and Lena would crawl out of bed before bounding out into the kitchen. But this morning, she was particularly tired. She’d been up until nearly first light, talking with Kara. This morning Lena found herself in the midst of one of those rare occasions when she would rather spend the day buried under the protection of the covers. She reached down and pulled the covers over her body, before snuggling under them with another sleepy groan.

 _Maybe you might call it crazy_  
_How I'm acting lately,_  
_Skipping through the sky_

“Good morning,” Kara’s chipper voice had her peaking out from under the covers. Lena’s eyes found Kara standing at the side of the bed. She was holding a tray filled to the brim with every kind of breakfast food and beverage that Lena could ever want, and Lena realized without hesitation that she loved her – she loved this woman with every fiber of her being. “I’ve got some breakfast for you.”

“Oh my god,” Lena groaned, as she pushed up the covers and sat up in bed, “You’re my hero, Kara Danvers. Seriously, you have to be my favorite person in the world. I really didn’t want to get up in order to get coffee.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Kara joked as she watched Lena start combing her fingers through her unruly, dark strands, trying frantically to tidy it somewhat. She looked breathtakingly beautiful as she was now, and Kara couldn’t help but want this every morning. “After all, it’s my fault that you were up until all hours of the night.” Lena sat back against the headboard, and Kara settled the tray down on her lap, while being careful not to spill anything on it. “Besides, you might not want to sing any praises until you’ve tried the food, first,” Kara warned with a subtle blush, “I’ve been told by my sister that I’m not exactly the best cook.”

 _I see so clearly_  
_Why I'm always feeling free_  
_So I sleep when my dreams_  
_Looking like reality_

“You’re not exactly bolstering with confidence, are you?” Lena laughed, as she cautiously picked up a knife and fork in her dainty, perfectly manicured hands. She began to cut the strawberry drizzled waffle into manageable bites. Kara lifted a hand, scrutinizing her own fingernails, and frowned as she realized that there was a stark contrast between the two of them. There were flakes of dirt and other debris that she had yet to clean out from the night before and her nails were short. They’d been cut down to their minimum length, and kept that way. With Kara’s line of work, she couldn’t have long nails. It did not help Kara’s insecurities at all. She couldn’t help but look at Lena and think that she would never be good enough.

 _I know where the greener grass grows_  
_You'll just have to follow_  
_To the other side_

“Well, I am getting better,” Kara told her as she looked up and back into Lena’s eyes, just as the brunette lifted the first bite to her lips. She chewed slowly under Kara’s scrutiny and smiled. Kara couldn’t handle the anticipation. She sat down on the edge of the bed, and waited as Lena chewed. Finally, Lena finished. “So,” Kara began, as she reached up to paw at the back of her neck. Lena had found that it was a nervous tick of Kara’s. “What’s the verdict?”

“It’s incredible,” Lena told her honestly. “Your sister doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.”

“Well, it has been almost two years since she told me that, so who knows,” Kara shrugged, “Maybe I’ve gotten better since then.”

“It really is good,” Lena said after taking a sip of the steaming hot coffee contained in Kara’s favorite mug. Lena let out a loud rattling moan, as the richest flavor of coffee exploded on her tongue. She knew without a doubt it was her favorite blend. How had Kara figured out what her favorite kind of coffee was? “Oh my god, is this what I think it is?” Lena asked.

“Yeah, it’s your favorite blend,” Kara visibly blushed, and looked away.

“How?” Lena questioned.

“I may have bribed Jess into telling me what you have at the office, and I managed to track it down,” Kara explained. Lena was aware that the blond was avoiding eye contact.

“I can’t believe you were able to do that! It’s from a private European coffee company, and they don’t sell it internationally.” Lena pressed, “I discovered it when I went away to boarding school, and when I came back to America I had to beg them in order to get them to ship it stateside.”

“I have my ways,” Kara said as she turned back towards Lena and fixed the brunette with a confident smile.

 _Lets go tiptoe on a tight rope_  
_Fallings only natural_  
_Just spread your wings and fly_

“Kara,” Lena’s voice was surprisingly gentle. “I can’t believe that you did this for me.”

“It’s nothing,” Kara said as she pushed herself up. “I just wanted to do something nice for you in order to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. It means a lot to me, Lena.” Kara cleared her throat. “So I umm…I hate to have to do this to you, but I just got a call a couple of minutes ago. There’s been an emergency, and I’ve got to go into work early this morning.”

“Oh,” Lena exhaled, finding that the elation she’d been experiencing just a moment ago had come crashing down. It had evolved into something else. Lena realized she was disappointed.

“I’m really sorry, Lena,” Kara apologized. “Please feel free to help yourself to anything that you need while you’re here. You can just leave the dishes in the sink and I’ll take care of them later. Feel free to take a shower, as well. You can borrow any outfits that you’d like for the day, though I’m sure that they’re not as nice as anything you usually wear.”

“Kara,” Lena breathed, trying to forestall the blonde’s rambling.

“Also, there’s a key on the kitchen island you can use to lock up when you leave,” Kara continued. “I’ve actually wanted you to have a key for some time now, so you can just keep it.”

“What?” Lena exclaimed, “Really?! You’re giving me a key to your place?”

“Yeah, really,” Kara smiled. “You’re welcome to come over whenever you’d like,” Kara’s voice trailed off as she realized that her phone going off again. “However, I’d appreciate it if you'd shoot me a call or a text whenever you’re planning on coming over.”

Kara quickly pulled out the device and answered it, lifting it to her ear, “Hey, Alex. Yeah, I _know_. I’ll be right in. Okay, bye.” Kara hit the end button and shoved it back into her back pants pocket. Lena was aware of how the blonde’s gaze drifted across the room.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice was gentle as she spoke up. The blonde’s gaze shot back to her own, with unparalleled speed.

“I’ve got to go,” Kara told her, as she took a step forwards. Kara gave her a hug and pressed a kiss to the top of Lena’s head. She started to pull away, but Lena didn’t let her. She couldn’t help but worry about the blonde, especially because she never knew what the day could bring.

“Please,” Lena implored her, “Be careful.”

“Hey,” Kara reassured her, "It'll be fine." She laughed, although the sound sounded forced. It wasn’t like Kara’s usual carefree and adorable laugh. This one sounded different, and she suspected it was born out of nervousness. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Kara,” Lena sighed, wishing more than anything that the blonde would tell her the truth.

“Have a good day at work, Lena,” Kara told her as she pressed a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek. Lena squeezed her eyes shut as she focused on the pressure and the sensation of the blonde’s lips on her skin. “I’ll see you soon.” Lena gasped quietly as a faint tingling was left in its wake. This was certainly new. Kara had never kissed her like that before, and Lena realized that she liked this new direction that their relationship was heading. But more than anything it made her yearn for the blonde’s kiss upon her lips. When she opened her eyes again, the blonde was already halfway across the apartment. Kara looked back one final time as she got to the door. Lena watched as she pulled her bag from the hook beside the door, and pulled open the large door. She gave Lena a final parting wave before she let herself out. Lena let out a loud sigh as she let her head fall back against the headboard with a dull thud.

 _You'll see so clearly_  
_Why I'm always feeling free_  
_So I sleep when our dreams_  
_Looking like reality_

 

* * *

That had been almost a week ago now. Lena had seen the blonde’s face all over the news, on just about every news media outlet, but never once in person. She was aware that Kara had her hands full. If Kara wasn’t fighting National City’s worst criminals and aliens, she was busy cleaning up the rubble in the city’s hardest hit areas – rubble left over from the Daxamite Invasion. It was because of Kara’s tireless work that the city was able to recover from such an attack so quickly. Something that should have taken them years, was instead taking them weeks. It seemed as if the blonde was on a mission to make everything right – to undo all of the things that Lena had unintentionally wrought on the city. And Lena didn’t know how she could ever adequately repay her.

One way that she could repay the blonde, however, was with her own acts of kindness. And finally, this brings us back to where the brunette was currently, standing under the bright blue sky in the heart of National City. She was pleased that she was able to put together a memorial, and a dedication ceremony in so little time. Not only that, but she’d managed to get a hell of a turn out, and in the middle of the workweek no less. She desperately wanted to make things better for the Hernandez family. She was aware that they suffered a loss that no parent should ever have to endure. But she figured that commemorating him in such a way would help them carry on in Arturo’s name. That was the little boy’s name. He’d lost his life only four days after his eighth birthday, and it filled her heart with so much sorrow. He’d finally met his hero – but only after being mortally wounded. It was in her arms that he drew his final breaths. She’d heard varying stories of what had happened. She had heard about Kara’s last words to the young boy – how she had cried as she held him in her arms and called him brave. She had spoken a prayer over him, had asked Rao to watch over him and guide him in the next life.

Lena felt tears leak from her eyes as she pressed a hand to the metal at the base of the statue. The statue that towered over her in the town square was nothing short of extraordinary. Even though the subject of the statue was kneeling, the statue was still almost three times as tall as Lena. It was cast out of deep, rich bronze. But it was the subject of the sculpture that made it truly remarkable. It was of a kneeling Supergirl, and a little boy cradled delicately in her arms. Supergirl’s head was bowed in sorrow – her cape fluttering behind her in the wind, as she mourned the loss of such a precious life. She felt like it depicted Kara perfectly. She knew how much the boy’s loss had affected the superhero, and knew it would stick with Kara forever. The boy cradled in Supergirl’s strong arms, was of Arturo’s likeness.

She traced the letters molded into the metal plate below with her long delicate fingers. It felt warm in the heat of the day. The sun continued to beat down on them warming everything under its rays. The metal plate was engraved with Arturo’s name, date of birth, and a short quote etched into its base.

“We’re ready to begin,” A voice spoke up, as a hand was pressed to her shoulder. Lena turned away from the statue, and nodded before offering the man a warm smile. Lena walked back towards the podium, preparing to address the crowd that had gathered for the ceremony.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” Lena said with a beaming smile. “Thank you all for coming! We’re all here today to celebrate the incredible life of Arturo Hernandez. Now I know all of you are probably wondering why I’m here, especially because I don't have any ties to the Hernandez family, but I’m sure that my story is similar to many of your own. I heard about Arturo’s story on the news, and I couldn’t help but feel undeniably connected to him and his story. His story affected me in a way I haven’t been affected by anything in a long time. And after seeing the story, I desperately wanted to do right by him and his family." Lena briefly paused to look down at her speech. "In the wake of tragedies such as this, I think it’s important to show that the people of National City are going to be here in order to love and support them like one of our own. It makes me incredibly happy to see the kind of turn out that this memorial ceremony has gotten. I’m so glad that all of you have taken the time out of your hectic schedules in order to celebrate the life of this incredible young boy. So _thank_ _you_.” Lena let out a levied breath as she looked down to the piece of paper on the podium. “Without further ado, I think I will hand things off to Arturo’s father, so that he can tell us all about Arturo’s life.”

Lena relinquished the podium; to a man she’d gotten to know over the last couple of days. As she stepped out from behind it, she could hear the faint click of a camera shutter closing. She glanced up in order to see a photojournalist from Catco magazine snapping pictures or her and the statue towering behind her. She quickly took a seat in the front row, and listened to Arturo’s father speak. As soon as the man finished his piece, the crowd let out a roar as a figure in Red, white, and gold landed on the stage with a loud thud. Lena jumped up out of her chair in surprise, as she took in the windswept look of the blonde’s hair and the large bouquet of flowers clutched tenderly in Kara’s hands.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said in an apologetic voice as she walked towards the stunning bronze statue, and Lena could see she had done Kara justice. Kara hunched over ever so slightly as she set the flowers down in the growing pile at the base of the statue. Lena started walking briskly towards the blonde as Hector, Arturo’s father, started over towards her best friend in order to confront the blonde. As Kara turned around, he shoved the blonde backwards. Lena heard the crowd suck in a collective breath, as they witnessed such an event. Lena felt her breaths cease, as Kara - Supergirl stumbled backwards.

“You’re not welcome here, Supergirl,” Hector hissed in what he thought was a quiet voice. Still, Lena could hear him just fine, and she reckoned that others in the front rows could probably hear him too.

“Mr. Hernandez,” Supergirl’s voice had lost all of its earlier bravado. “I really wanted to apologize for everything. I can’t imagine what it –“ He cut her off with another shove to the chest. Kara scarcely moved an inch, but Lena could see that it had rattled her a bit.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he snapped. Kara’s jaw twitched as emotions played over the blonde’s face in rapid succession. These changes happened so quickly, in fact, that Lena had trouble deciphering them all. But mostly, the blonde just looked devastated.

Kara’s eyes looked unbelievably sad as she glanced back at the statue.

“He was brave to the end,” Kara whispered, “I just wanted to pay my respects.”

“I don’t _care_ ,” he spoke in a low voice, “You lost any right you had to be here when you did nothing to save him. You’re not _welcome_ here. You need to _leave_.”

He stepped forward menacingly, but Lena inserted herself into the space between him and Kara. She didn’t even think much about what she was doing, but she couldn’t bear to watch this man hurt Kara any longer. He seemed fully willing to crucify Kara for things that she didn’t do. Lena pressed one hand forwards on Hector’s chest, while her other hand pressed backwards into Kara, increasing the distance between them.

“Hey,” Lena spoke up as she coaxed him into taking a couple of steps back, “What’s going on? Do we have some kind of a problem here?”

“I don’t _want_ her here,” he told Lena in a low growl, “It’s her _fault_ he’s dead.”

“I don’t believe it is,” Lena spoke in a calm, cool voice. “I’ve seen all of the reporting of the events, and you can see that it’s _not_ her fault. She did everything she could to-“

“That’s just it! She didn’t do _anything_ ,” he argued. “She did nothing to save him. She held him in her arms as he struggled for breath, and –“

“What else could she have done?” Lena questioned. “What else do you think she could have done? He had _seconds_ , _not_ minutes, to live when she reached him. Sure, she could have flown him somewhere, but even _then_ he would have perished. Only in that case, he would have died without his parents and without the comforting touch of his greatest hero. Look, if you want to be angry, then no one would fault you for that. But if it’s blame you’re looking for, you should blame the actual party who is responsible for Arturo’s death. The alien is the one responsible for killing him. Not _her_.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said angrily, his jaw tightening as he glared daggers at where Kara stood behind her.

“Actually, I do,” Lena murmured. “Hector, I – I can’t even imagine what it’s like to lose a son, but you blaming her - you taking this out on her? I’m telling you that your anger couldn’t be any more misplaced. Arturo wouldn’t want you to behave like this. He idolized her.”

“I don’t care,” he said icily as he met Lena’s bright green gaze, “I want her gone.” Then he turned to address Kara directly. “ _Please_ , let my family mourn Arturo in the way that we want to mourn him.”

“Hector,” Lena sighed, wishing that she could persuade him somehow.

“No, it’s okay,” Kara’s voice spoke in a hushed whisper, as she resigned and conceded defeat. “He’s _right_. I – I’ll go. I’m sorry, Mr Hernandez. I’m really and truly sorry. I _wish_ – I wish, more than anything that I could have done more. He was such a wonderful boy, and I promise that I won’t ever forget him.” Lena turned around, trying to grab for the blonde’s hand, but Kara shook off Lena’s touch. She just shook her head and took a step back. Then with a flex of her knees, Kara sprang into the sky and was gone. Lena let out a sharp breath. She’d tried desperately to deescalate the situation, but had failed miserably. She didn’t realize until much later the way that it must have seemed to prying eyes and prying ears.

This was made even more prevalent when the photographer from Catco magazine intercepted her on the way back to her car. Her handle was on the door handle, when she heard him speak out from behind her.

“I heard what you said,” the deep timbre of James’ voice caused her to turn around. “I know what you tried to do for Supergirl today. That was – That was really something.”

“Have we met?” Lena asked. He looked strangely familiar to her, but she wasn’t sure if she’d actually met him before.

“I’m James, James Olsen from Catco Magazine,” he said as he let go of the camera hung around his neck and jovially held out a hand to her. “I’m a good friend of Kara’s. I’m here in her stead, actually. She wanted me to apologize on her behalf, but she couldn’t get away from work.”

“Lena Luthor,” Lena said as she took it and gave it a firm shake. She was aware that the measure of a man could be felt in their handshake. People with a confident handshake, often were forthcoming by nature and had little to hide. She found that James had a very firm handshake. “Can I help you with something?”

“No,” James shook his head, “I just wanted to introduce myself. I know that Kara thinks very highly of you.”

“We’re good friends,” Lean said with a certain amount of pride behind her words.

“I’m well aware,” James laughed. “Kara kinda won’t shut up about you.”

“Is that so?” she asked with a curve of her brow.

“Yeah,” James smiled. “She thinks the world of you.”

“I think the world of her too,” Lena said with an undeniable light behind her bright green eyes. Her bright green eyes and her smile showed her feelings just a little too much, in his opinion. Her affection for Kara was earnest, and it couldn’t exactly be hidden or concealed. It showed in her eyes and in her facial expression. It was then that he knew for sure that Lena was in love with Kara. Lena might even be the one to help Kara get over her recent heartbreak.

“You know, I used to be a skeptic,” James spoke as if he were telling her a secret, “but then I saw the way you handled that back there, how you stuck up for her, and I think I see what Kara means. You’re not like the others in your family.”

“No,” Lena shook her head, “I’m not. I believe in making the world a better place for everyone – and not just humans. I believe that we should all treat eachother with love and respect.”

“I feel like I owe you an apology,” James told her quietly. “I misjudged you, Lena.”

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Lena smiled. “Don’t worry about it too much, Mr. Olsen. I’ve learned not to pay attention to what others think of me. In fact, I stopped caring a long time ago, after the media crucified me.”

“But you do care what Kara thinks of you, don’t you?” James asked daringly.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re implying,” Lena murmured cooly, trying to shield herself from his question of intent.

“I think you do,” he spoke in a hushed voice. “One thing you should know is that I care about Kara a lot. It didn’t exactly work out between the two of us, but I still love her, Lena. Hurt her, and you’ll have to deal with me. That’s a promise.”

“Are you giving me the friend’s talk?” Lena laughed, her eyes flashing in the sunlight. She noticed how James’ expression was one of seriousness. His gaze was intense, as he fixed his eyes on her own. She knew then that she was right. James Olsen was really giving her the friend’s talk.

“Oh my god, you are!” Lena burst out. “Look, James – can I call you James?” He nodded. “The last thing I’d ever want is to hurt Kara. She means so much to me,” the corners of Lena’s eyes crinkled as a smile came unbidden to Lena’s lips. Her eyes sparkled in the sunlight as she held his gaze, “I don't think you realize just how fond of her I really am! Hell, just seeing her is enough to brighten my day. She’s like my own personal dose of sunshine. I love her. I would lay down my life for hers.”

“Okay,” he seemed pleased with her answer.

“Okay?” Lena questioned.

“Okay,” he nodded. “I won’t keep you any longer. I imagine that you need to get back to the office.”

“I really do,” she confirmed, “But I'm glad we had a chance to talk. It was good to meet you, James.”

“You too,” he called out as she opened the door, and slipped inside. She sat down on the seat, and shut the door behind her. She knocked on the glass partition in order to signal her driver that she was good to go. She let out a sigh, as the car started into motion. Overall, the memorial had gone a lot better than she could have ever hoped. However, seeing the devastation and hurt in Kara’s eyes as Hector ripped into her had been nearly impossible for her to take.

The drive back to L-Corp went faster than Lena expected. She was surprised when the back door of the town-car opened, and Phillip offered her a hand.

“Thank you, Phillip,” Lena offered him a gentle smile.

“Ma’am,” he said with a subtle nod of his head.

Lena made her way across the lobby, her heels clicking against the marble floor as she made her way over towards her private elevator. Security opened the elevator doors and she stepped inside. She pulled her access card from her hip, and waved it in front of the wireless keypad. It activated with a flash of green light, and Lena pressed the button for her office. She looked down at her watch, as she waited for the elevator to begin its ascent. Lena pulled out her phone and let out a sigh of discontent as she saw the news story circulating through all of the media outlets. She could only imagine how Kara must feel right now.

**_Super-diss? Superhero Denied Right to Pay Respects at Memorial Dedication Ceremony_ **

The elevator doors dinged open and Lena stepped off while shoving her phone back into her purse. She was instantly met with the presence of her assistant, who handed her a short stack of messages that she’d taken since Lena had stepped out of the office. Lena accepted them with a polite thank you and walked the short distance to her office, while rifling through them and trying to prioritize them in order of importance. She pushed open the doors of her office and was met with the most pleasant and delightful scent. This caused her to look up, and as she took in the sight, a gasp fell from her lips.

“Oh my god,” Lena breathed, as her eyes raked over every surface. Her office was filled from floor to ceiling with flowers of all kinds, but they all had a common theme. They were all varying shades of blue, red, and yellow. “Jess?” Lena called out in a breathless voice. She was surprised at the speed with which her assistant made an appearance.

“Ma’am?” Jess questioned as she rushed up behind her.

“Care to tell me who filled my office with flowers?” she asked, though she already had an inkling of just who had done so.

“I uh… Those weren’t here a few minutes ago,” Jess answered awkwardly. She looked slightly baffled. “I swear! I was just in here five minutes ago.”

“Hmm,” Lena hummed gently.

“It would seem that you have a secret admirer,” Jess informed her.

“It would seem,” Lena laughed. Her eyes lit up as they roved over all of the flowers. “That will be all. Thank you, Jess.” Jess ducked out with another quick farewell.

Lena padded over to her desk, noting that the balcony doors were still open, letting in the warm air from outside. She knew without a doubt that the blonde heroine must’ve been in here only moments before, perhaps even while she stepped out of the elevator.

 _‘That sly devil,’_ Lena thought, as she picked up a small card stuck into one of the vases on her desk. She tore open the miniature envelope, and pulled out the card while her heart started to pound that much harder in her chest. Her stomach was filled with butterflies as her eyes flew over the delicate cursive penmanship, and the message contained within elegant words.

_Please accept this small token of my affection for you. Thank you for what you tried to do for me today. I know that it didn't necessarily work out, but it meant a lot to me that you tried to help._

_\- S._

“Oh, Kara,” Lena breathed as she lifted the card to her heart, and blinked back tears. She reached up with one hand to wipe them away, as she looked down at the beautiful flowers Kara had selected. “You're welcome. I love you too.”

Lena looked up as a small tap sounded at her door. Her eyes found the object of her affection just as Kara pushed open the door and let out a loud gasp. “Oh, wow! It looks like someone’s got an admirer. Should I be jealous?”

“Kara!” Lena set the card down on her desk, "What are you doing here?" 

"Is now a bad time?" Kara asked as she hovered in the doorway, looking hesitant. "Cause if it is I can make an appointment and come back later. I didn't mean to barge in like this." Kara laughed nervously, "It seems like I've been doing that a lot lately." Kara felt her nerves take over. She was starting to rethink this whole thing. She thought that she could play it cool. That she could pretend that she hadn't just filled Lena's office with flowers. But now she wasn't so sure she could stand in this room and pretend that she wasn't utterly in love with Lena. "You know what? I should - I should go," Kara continued on nervously. "I'm gonna go."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kara!" Lena exclaimed as she rushed over towards Kara, moving as quickly as her heels would allow. Her long elegant fingers wrapped around Kara's wrist just as she started her retreat. "You know I always love seeing you. I'm really sorry if I seemed less than welcoming just now. It's just that I'm feeling a bit surprised. James told me that you couldn’t get away from work,” Lena said, as she pulled her into a crushing embrace. 

“James?” Kara questioned, “Since when have the two of you been on a first name basis?” Kara pulled away gently, and Lena immediately missed the blonde's touch, her scent. Lena's eyes widened as she took in Kara's expression. The blonde looked slightly jealous and more than a little flustered. This confused Lena to no end. After all, Kara couldn't possibly be jealous, could she? Surely Kara must know that James is no threat to what they had. But she'll be damned, because Lena quickly realized that it was in fact jealousy she saw in Kara's eyes. Lena had to bite back a laugh.

 _'Man, if only she knew how utterly in love with her I really am,'_ Lena thought.

"Lena?" Kara's voice held a hint of an edge to it, as she spoke. "Is there something going on between you two?"

"Kara," Lena sighed, her voice holding an undeniable gentleness to it, "It's not what you think."

"And what am I thinking exactly? I wasn't even aware you knew each other," Kara said in a small voice, as she turned away.

 _‘Kara, you beautiful idiot,'_   Lena was faced with the urge to scream, _'James and I only hit it off because the two of us realized that we are both utterly in love with you. He poses no threat to you whatsoever.’_

“We only became acquainted this afternoon, actually,” Lena answered, earning a curious look from Kara. "And no, there's absolutely nothing going on between us. We just hit it off because we realized we both had something in common."

"And what's that?" Kara asked, her brow wrinkling adorably in confusion.

"Why you, of course," Lena laughed, "We both value your friendship." The blonde tilted her head for a moment as she looked at Lena. She seemed to be searching Lena's eyes for something. Lena felt her cheeks color under Kara's scrutiny. “So what can I do for you, Kara? Are you here for work or for pleasure?”

“I’m here for work, actually,” Kara told her with a blush of her own. “But it’s always a pleasure to get to see you.”

“Nice save, Kara,” Lena said with a laugh and a beaming smile. “Who knew that were so good with the lines? As far as I'm concerned, you can flatter me any time you wish.”

“James wanted me to get a statement from you about what went into the Memorial,” Kara informed her, “Is it true that you paid for the ceremony out of your own salary? That couldn’t have been cheap.”

“It wasn’t,” Lena admitted. “But it was the right thing to do. The Hernandez family couldn’t have afforded the sort of memorial or service that they wanted, and I didn’t want them to suffer for something that alien did. They have already lost so much, and I wanted them to be able to memorialize Arturo in the way that they wanted.”

“What sort of work went into the statue from the memorial?” Kara questioned as she walked over and sat down on the couch, silently indicating that Lena should do the same.

“Well, a week ago I had it commissioned,” Lena said as she sat down next to Kara. “And basically ever since then I have had a team working around the clock in order to finish it in time. First, there was the design, which I approved, and then once that was approved I got a world renowned sculptor to start work on sculpting it.”

“What is his name?” Kara asked.

“His name is David Bayez,” Lena answered. “He actually has pieces in museums all across the country. He worked around the clock for over two days straight in order to finish it.”

“Two days?” Kara asked with amazement in her voice.

“More like two and half actually,” Lena laughed, “He’s probably _still_ sleeping it off.” Kara laughed.

“After the sculpture was finished,” Lena continued in a soft voice, “It was converted into a mold. I’ll send you a list of all that entails, but the end product is a hollowed out version of the statue. Finally, the alloy was mixed and melted down. It was poured into the mold, and allowed to cool over a period of a few days. Then, it was sanded and buffed, and was moved onsite late last night. I couldn’t have been happier when I saw the finished product for the first time this morning. It’s absolutely perfect – the best money I’ve spent in a long time.”

“I saw it,” Kara admitted. “It’s beautiful. I think you depicted the sorrow of that moment perfectly, and it really makes you think. Though, I’m not sure I would have included Supergirl, especially considering the way his family reacted to it.”

“They’re grieving,” Lena said gently, “People grieve in different ways. And sometimes they lash out, even though they know it's not anybody's fault. Supergirl was Arturo’s hero, and I think _he_ would want her to be included.”

“Right,” Kara nodded, though Lena could see that Kara didn’t agree with her. “Thanks, Lena.”

“What Hector said to her was wrong, you know,” Lena told her as Kara started gathering her things.

“You don’t know that,” Kara said with a tinge of anger in her voice. “You weren’t there when it happened, _I_ was. Maybe she _was_ wrong. Maybe she could have done more to save him. Maybe Hector was _right_ to not want her there.”

“Kara, look at me,” Lena commanded as she grabbed a hold of the blonde’s hand. Kara looked back to Lena, and felt her heart stop as the brunette reached out for her.

"I know this is going to sound strange," Lena admitted, swallowing hard over her words, "But I - I feel like I know her - Supergirl. I know her heart, Kara. I just - I  _see_ her. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that she did everything that could do in order to save that boy. She _always_ does." She noticed how Kara's eyes were now full of tears. "I know that she's not asking for any advice, but if I had the chance to talk to her face to face, I would tell her that it's... impossible to save _everyone_. One of the things that makes her such a good hero is that she feels every loss, every failure, right in here." Lena made a show of pointing to her heart. "Most people would shy away from feeling those things, because they're afraid of those emotions as a whole, but not...not her."

"Lena," Kara voice was thick as Lena's words resonated within.

"I know that Arturo would want her continue doing what she's doing. He would want her to save as many lives as she possibly can, even if she can't save everybody." She knew she was speaking to Kara on a deeper level. She wished she could just burst out with it - that she could tell Kara that she knows. But that could unleash a lot of things that might be detrimental to Kara's state of mind. 

"It sounds as if you have faith in her," Kara breathed.

"That's because I do," Lena told her honestly. "My mom would probably have an aneurysm if she heard me talk about a Super like that, but I do believe in her, Kara."

"That's very kind of you to say," Kara whispered, her words scarcely loud enough to be heard. "I'll - I'll have to tell her that you said that." Kara reached up to wipe away at her tears.

"Kara, listen..." Lena continued in a soft voice, as she began drawing circles on the back of Kara's hand with the thumb. Her motions sent a fresh array of butterflies to Kara's stomach.

"I should go," Kara said in a slight panic, as the emotions became too much for her to bear.

“I’ve upset you,” Lena said in a quiet voice. “I’m sorry. I wasn't trying to - I didn't mean to upset you, Kara."

"It's not you," Kara assured her. "I promise that it's not you. It's-"

"I swear, If you're about to give me the whole it's not you, it's me spiel, I'm going to be very insulted," Lena joked. Kara shook her head. And Lena could see from the look on Kara's face that her levity was a mistake. Kara _had_ been about to say that. Kara sniffled as a tear escaped and dripped from her long lashes.

"Kara, wait," Lena pleaded. " _Please_. Please don’t leave when you’re upset like this.” She began tugging at Kara's hand, and Kara fell backwards onto the couch. When she saw the earnest expression on Lena's face, all fight left her. All she wanted was to curl up in Lena's arms, and let her shield Kara from the rest of the day.

“Okay,” Kara breathed.

“Come here,” Lena said as she tugged some more, and Kara settled against her. Lena wrapped an arm around Kara’s shoulders. Kara shut her eyes and just focused on keeping her breathing. She could hear Lena’s heartbeat pounding away in the other woman’s chest, so she focused on that, and only that. After a while she could just sort of feel the tension slipping away.

"It's not fair how you can always make everything better," Kara told her. And Lena felt a laugh bubble up in her throat.

"It's a gift," Lena smiled as she pressed a kiss to Kara's temple. Kara closed her eyes and tried to hide the shiver the coursed through her. "A gift reserved solely for you."

“Kara, I - I have something that I want to ask you,” Lena spoke a few minutes later, after the silence became just a little too much for her to bear. 

“I'm all ears,” Kara told her, encouraging her best friend to speak her mind.

“There’s a charity event this weekend at the amphitheater,” Lena explained, “The National City Orchestra is playing, and I was hoping that – that maybe you would be my date.”

“Date?” Kara turned to look at Lena, her eyes searching the other woman’s face as she tried to discern Lena's intent.

“I mean,” Lena, corrected herself, “I’d like you to come as my friend.” She instantly noticed the look of rejection on Kara’s face, and suddenly felt like a horrible coward.

“Oh,” Kara breathed, struggling to cover up the disappointment etched onto her features, “Yeah, sure. I’d be happy to go as your plus one. Although, I’m sure you could find someone else – someone _better_ than me to take you if you really wanted to. It’s still a few days away.”

“Kara,” Lena sighed. “Look, I – I don’t want to take someone else, okay? I want to take _you_.”

“You’re really confusing me,” Kara laughed, “Because when you say it like that, it sounds like you…”

“I like you, Kara,” Lena admitted out loud, her words sounding slightly exasperated, “There, I said it. I like you as a friend, and maybe as something more, but I’m too afraid to just –“

“Ask me out?” Kara finished for her.

“You just got out a serious relationship,” Lena spoke. “And I’m pretty sure this isn’t exactly the best time for us to be starting anything. But I really care about you, Kara, and I really want you there with me.”

“Then I would be _honored_ to be your date,” Kara said honestly, “When should I pick you up?”

“I’ll be picking _you_ up,” Lena said with absolute authority, and a twinkle in her eyes. “After all, I am the person who asked you out. And I’ll be picking you up at 6:00 on Friday, if that’s okay?”

“It’s more than okay,” Kara replied, as she gave Lena a dazzling smile. Kara’s phone buzzed and the blonde let out a subsequent groan. “Shit, I’ve really got to get back, or Snapper might fire me again. I really don't want to go through unemployment again.”

“Then you should go,” Lena urged her, as she loosened her hold on the blonde so that she could get up. “I’ll see you Friday then! Oh, and it’s formal attire only, so make sure to wear something nice.”

“Of course,” Kara said, as she gave Lena a hug goodbye and quickly disappeared. Lena let out a low laugh as she dropped back onto the couch. She felt almost giddy as she thought forwards to her date on Friday. She and Kara were finally going to go out, and Lena’s heart had to be beating close to 200 times a minute at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say that I don't know anything about what it takes to produce a bronze statue, so anything I've written about the subject in this chapter might very well be in error. I apologize if that's the case, but I wanted to include it for the sake of the story. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about anything! I rather liked the idea of Lena producing a statue for the memorial. 
> 
> Also, I'm super (pun totally intended!) excited to write the next chapter! I can't wait to finally write some Supercorp fluff. Though it's safe to say it won't be all sunshine and rainbows, it will be on the other end of the emotional spectrum.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading! I really appreciate all of the love and support! I have so much love for all of you! :)


	8. The Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara finally tells Lena who she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit. (So please don't sue me!)
> 
> Hey, guys! Here's the next chapter! We're not quite to the date yet, but we'll get there. I wanted to write it this way, because I felt that Kara would choose to reveal herself to Lena beforehand. She wouldn't want their romantic relationship to begin on a lie. I had a really tough time writing this chapter (as you might've guessed from the long wait) but hopefully it's not half bad! 
> 
> Thanks again for all of the love and support! Thanks!

_There's hidden things_  
_That you don't see_  
_They call 'em skeletons_  
_But don't be scared of them_

Kara yawned loudly, as she read over the black and white text of the article for the umpteenth time. With one hand, she jotted down several notes on the paper with her red pen. Kara made a sound in the back of her throat, and then grudgingly drew a line though things that she knew needed to be cut from the article. She knew it was one of the first thing Snapper would do if he laid eyes on the article. She had a bad habit of using too many words and redundancies in her writing, but she was getting better. Kara bit down on the end of her pen, as her eyes raced over the words.Kara let out another growl of frustration, and pulled the pen from between her lips. She brought her pen down to the piece of paper and replaced one word with another she thought suited the sentence better. Then drew a line through the adjoining sentence, trimming it down to size. If Kara did her job right, she knew that Snapper wouldn't be able to do much of anything to her article when she was done with it.

If she was being honest, Kara was fairly proud of this particular article, and what she’d written. Of course she realized that what she’d written might be perceived as some kind of love letter to Lena, rather than a mere puff piece, but she’d written from the heart. She'd been so sure that she'd hidden her feelings well, but now she wasn't so sure.

She could almost imagine Alex's voice in her head, as she read through it for the hundredth time, 'Just admit it already, you're head over heels in love with her. You're like hella-gay for Lena Luthor.'

"So much for not getting carried away," Kara muttered, as she took off her glasses with an aggravated growl and tossed them onto her desk.

She’d honestly tried not to get caught up in her personal feelings for Lena, as she spoke to the kind of person the brilliant CEO really was, but that was an impossibility. She couldn't talk about Lena, and not let her feelings run away with her. Her feelings for Lena were just too great. Kara couldn't help but want to change people’s minds and hearts. She wanted everyone else to see all of the good in Lena, too. So many people saw Lena Luthor as the villain, but Kara saw her as the unsung hero, the one hiding behind the curtain. Lena had done so much good for the people of National City, since coming here only a year ago. But hardly anyone knew, because Lena was so good at hiding all of the good she did in the community. And god, what Lena had done just the other day, out of the goodness of her heart, had been nothing short of incredible. She gave Arturo's family the closure they needed. Kara just hoped that she could get Snapper to accept the article – to publish it somehow.

Kara set down the article, and carefully picked up one of James’ photos in its place. She studied it. She shook her head, sighing out of sheer frustration. She couldn’t seem to choose which picture should accompany the article she’d written. They were all incredible. After all, James was a true artist, and he had a vision for this sort of thing. But for some reason, none of them seemed quite right. None of them seemed quite good enough.

Kara looked up as James neared her desk, with two coffees clutched in his hands. Kara tossed the photo back onto her desk, and reached out to take the coffee from him when it was offered to her. The exchange was quick, feather light, but his fingers still brushed hers enough to make her think of the old days – when a touch of his hand brought butterflies to her stomach and chills down her spine, much as a touch from Lena did now. Though Kara felt that much deeper for Lena. She felt an unrivaled connection with Lena. It was like they were kindred spirits, separated by time and space. And somehow, by some miracle, they had managed to find each other.

Kara let out a quavering breath. All her recent thoughts of Lena had been tainted by guilt. Kara just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was betraying her best friend in some way. Keeping her monumental secret from Lena, was weighing on her more than it ever had before.

“Thanks,” Kara smiled softly, gratefully, although it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She was emotionally and physically exhausted. She honestly can't remember the last time she'd had a good night's sleep.

“You’re welcome,” James smiled, his voice full of genuine affection and warmth. “I just figured you could use it. You look like hell today,” he joked. Though, they both knew that there was more than teasing behind his words – there was truth there, too.

“Wow, James,” Kara shot back with a roll of her eyes, “You could try and sugar coat the truth just a little bit. What in the hell happened to your game, anyway? You're usually so much better at making a girl feel _special_.”

“Come on, Kara,” James said, as he decided to hang back in order to talk to her, “You know that you’re always beautiful. I just meant –“

“I know what you meant,” Kara spoke wryly, as she stood up. Her eyes held a hint of mirth to them, as she looked at him with a good natured expression on her face. “It’s fine, James. I was just giving you a hard time - in the same way that you were giving me a hard time.” Kara leant back against the desk, perching herself on the edge of the desk next to him. She lifted her latte to her lips and took a sip.

"So we haven't talked in a while," he hedged, "How're you doing?"

"Oh, you know," Kara said in a soft voice as she bumped shoulders with him. He was acutely aware that this was not a real answer. He knew that Kara was almost hoping he would fill in the blank himself, with whatever answer he hoped to receive. He studied Kara for a long moment, trying to discern what it was about her demeanor and her expression that seemed so distant. To him, it looked as if Kara hadn’t slept in days. He watched as Kara took another tentative sip of the latte he’d picked up for her, before she ultimately set it down on the desk. 

"Actually, I don't know," James spoke as he cleared his throat. "That's pretty much why I'm asking." He pressed her. "You haven't been to game night in a really long time. Sure, we interact at work, but we haven't been  _Kara and James_  in a really long time. I - I want you to be okay, Kara. I -"

"But I'm not okay!" Kara burst out angrily. 

"Kara," James tried to interrupt her, but she wasn't having any of it.

"No!" Kara voiced passionately. "You don't understand. You can't just fix this, James. You can't fix me, and you can't take away what I'm feeling. And god, I really love you for wanting to do that for me, but you just can't! He's out there somewhere, and I - I need to feel guilty for that. You don't know what it's like to be all alone out there in the infinite expanse of space. You don't know how scary that is- how lonely that is. You don't know what it's like to wonder if you're ever going to see another living soul again, or if you're going to be trapped in that hell forever, but I do! And, _Rao_ , I did that... I did that to him. I mean...I don't even know if he's alive. He could be dead and I wouldn't even know."

"Kara," James sighed, "You're right. I don't know what that's like. The truth is, I can't even fathom it. But what I do know? Is that you loved him. You were willing to do whatever was necessary, in order to save him. You shouldn't feel horrible for doing that. You saved him."

"I feel like I'm betraying him," Kara confessed finally. "Sometimes I wake up, and my first thought isn't of him, but it's of someone else. And the truth is, that I - I think I'm falling for someone else. I think that's what is making me feel the worst of all. I shouldn't be feeling things for someone else. I don't get to feel happy. I don't deserve it."

"That's not true," James said adamantly. "Kara, you deserve to be happy more than anyone I know. And I know that I didn't know Mon-El all that well, but I do know that he would want you to be happy. He would want you to try and move on."

"I appreciate that," Kara told him. "It's just not that easy for me to do."

"Well, keep working on it," James whispered, "It'll get better, Kara." Kara nodded.

 

 _'Cause you're still you_  
_And I'm still me_  
_It's all irrelevant_  
_We all got skeletons_

“You look exhausted,” James said finally, as he took in her defeated posture. “When is the last time you slept?”

“You don’t really want to know the answer to that question,” Kara answered in a quiet voice as she lifted her head. “Because the truth is, I don't even know when the last time I slept was. Last night was crazy.”

Kara tilted her head down as she reached up to rub at her eyes with her thumb and forefinger, trying to remove some of the sting in them. They were sore, and slightly bloodshot. For a moment, Kara saw stars, then, as she eased up on the pressure and removed her fingers, she saw orange. She kept her eyes closed for a long moment, wishing she could take a nap. Finally, Kara opened them, and squinted as they became used to the lights in the office once more. “On my best nights, I can only sleep for a few hours, and on my worst, well, I don't sleep at all,” Kara spoke honestly, her voice holding a tinge of exhaustion to it. “I’ve had a lot on my plate, and I can’t seem to turn it all off when it comes time for sleep.”

“Anything I can do to help make things a little easier?” James offered her in a friendly tone.

“Well, you know that I hate asking for favors,” Kara told him, as she picked up her article and handed it to him, “But perhaps you could help me persuade Snapper to publish my article. I mean, you can read it first and see if it’s worth publishing, but it would mean the world to me if you could help me get it to print.”

“Sure,” James nodded, “I’ll give it a looksee, and see what I can do.”

“Thank you,” Kara let out a relieved sigh. Kara let out another levied breath as she picked up her glasses and put them back on. He knew there was more to all of this than what Kara was telling him. “I don’t know how I can thank you enough.”

“Kara,” James sighed, as he sat down on her desk, making himself at home, “What else is making you feel horrible?”

“It’s Lena,” Kara said, as she met his eyes.

“What about her?” He questioned.

“You know what?” Kara said as she began pacing, “You really don’t want to hear about any of this. It’s – It’s kind of personal."

“Actually, I do," he told her confidently. "Wait a minute, is she the one you were talking about earlier? Do you have...feelings for her?"

"Like I said," Kara said as she reached up to prod at her forehead with her fingertips, "You probably don't want to hear about it."

"Hey, you know that I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to hear about it,” he spoke calmly, “Kara, look, I know that you’re trying to spare my feelings, but I’m telling you that you don’t have to do that. I’m going to be okay, I promise. It’s been a long time since we agreed to cool it and just be friends, and I assure you that any feelings that I’ve had about that have long since been resolved. You don’t have to worry about me. But most importantly, you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to be happy. I want you to be happy, Kara, because you deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone else that I know.”

“She asked me out on a date,” Kara breathed finally, as she held his gaze. “And I’ve been feeling this overwhelming sense of guilt, because I – I’ve been lying to her this whole time. She likes me. She might even want to be with me, and she has no idea the kind of person who I really am. I can’t help but feel disgusted with myself. She – She deserves better than me, James.”

 _You could tell me everything_  
_And then we could forget it_  
_Baby, you could show me all your demons in a minute_  
_It could be a battle_  
_When the words come back around, around_  
_We don't ever got to tell a lie_  
_And then relive it_  
_I could show you demons_  
_Only you could take a minute_  
_Tell me that you'll be there_  
_When the walls come crashing down_

“Kara,” James’ voice was undeniably soft and affectionate as he tried to comfort her.

“If I'm being honest, I’m probably no better than her mother,” Kara breathed out suddenly, as she got up and started pacing about the tiny office. “Her mother may have kept secrets, she may have lied, but so have I. Only what I did was worse, because I pretended to be something I’m not.”

“Kara,” James tried again.

“She said Lena would hate me when she found out,” Kara revealed, “And I can’t help but think that maybe she’s right. I don’t - I don’t know if I could bear it, if Lena decided she didn’t want to be my friend anymore – or worse, if she hated me in the way that Lex hates Clark. She’s the only thing that has held me together these last weeks. I’ve been such a wreck since losing Mon-El – since sending him away. And I don’t expect you to understand, but she’s…. she’s my red sun. She makes me normal. She makes me human in a way that no one else ever has. I love her, James. I’ve been so scared to admit it. I’ve been so scared to say those words out loud, but it’s how I _feel_. And Rao, she’s going to hate me when she learns the truth.”

 _When you're holding back the words_  
_'Cause you're afraid of being hurt_  
_Just let love in_  
_Just let love in_  
_Oh, we're only skin and bone_  
_We don't have to be alone_  
_Just let love in_  
_Just let love in_  
_I, I, I, I, I, I just let love in_  
_Just let love in_

“She won’t,” James’ told her reassuringly.

“How do you know?” Kara questioned, “How do you know that she won’t?”

“Because I…I just do,” he shrugged, “I know that she won’t, because it’s practically impossible, Kara. No one could possibly hate you. You’re _you_.”

“Then there’s the issue of whether or not I can even tell her the truth,” Kara breathed, as she continued to pace about the office, “Because I was expressly forbidden by the DEO of revealing myself to anyone without prior approval. I – I really don’t want to go behind the DEO’s back, least of all J’onn’s, but I’ve been feeling this overwhelming need to tell her. It's been plaguing me for months. This is weighing on me way more than I care to admit.”

"Are you asking for my advice?" James questioned.

"Yeah," Kara breathed out. "I guess that I am."

“Then, I would suggest that you talk to J’onn, and appeal to his better nature,” James’ suggested. “You need to be honest about it. Just tell him what you told me. Tell him how much this is bothering you - how much it's weighing on you. I think you underestimate how much J’onn cares about you, Kara – how much he trusts you and respects you. I think he’ll respect your decision to tell Lena, if you tell him how serious you are about her. He trusts your judgment.”

“You really think so?” Kara asked.

“Yeah, I do,” James’ nodded. Both of them looked towards the door, as a knock sounded at it. Both of their gazes quickly found the deliveryman standing in the doorway.

“Hi,” he greeted them, “I have a special delivery for a – “ He paused as he glanced down at the delivery sheet. “A Miss Kara Danvers?”

“That’s me,” Kara said with a smile, as she walked forwards. She quickly signed for the package on his device, and reached for the long, rectangular box. It was a lot longer than it was wide, as if it held rolls of wrapping paper or something of the like.

“Careful, Miss,” he told her, “It’s pretty heavy.”

“I think I’ve got it,” Kara laughed as she took it from him without straining herself whatsoever, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he told her with an impressed grin, as he watched her carry it over to the desk. He shook his head slightly as he tried to figure out how she could carry the heavy box so easily, when he had strained his back lifting it out of the back of the truck. It hardly seemed fair that she should be able to carry it so effortlessly. “Have a nice day, miss!” Then he departed.

“So what did you order?” James asked her as he got up off of the desk, so Kara could set it down.

“Honestly?” Kara laughed softly, “I have no earthly idea what this is. I didn’t order anything.”

“Wait a minute,” James said as he turned the box over and found the address sticker on the side, “Interesting. It says L-Corp on the box. But why would Lena send you something from L-Corp.”

“I don’t know,” Kara admitted as she reached up to paw at the back of her neck with a hand. “Do you think I should open it?” Kara asked him.

“I think you have to,” James said genially, “For both of our sakes. Cause right now? I’m kinda curious to know what it is.” He watched as Kara tore at the parcel paper, uncovering the box beneath. She reached for the end of the box, and turned it so that she could pull it open. The tape was no match for her super-strength, and the box came open easily. Kara slid the inner box out of the outer box, and frowned.

“Is this some kind of joke?” Kara questioned with an amused glint in her baby blue eyes, “This seems eerily reminiscent of the Christmas gifts that Alex and I used to give to each other every year in high school. Sometimes we’d put a bunch of smaller boxes inside of another bigger box, so that we’d have to open fifteen different things to get to what was inside.”

“I think you just have to lift the lid off of this one to get to what’s inside, so it’s not nearly as bad.” James pointed out. He reached over and pulled upwards, revealing what was inside. “See?”

Kara gasped as she saw what was inside for the first time. “Oh my –“

“Wow,” James was right there with her in terms of being stunned. “Is that a –“

“Telescope,” Kara finished for him, “Yeah, it is. It’s a really nice one, at that. _Rao_ , it’s beautiful. I honestly don’t know if I can touch it, for fear of breaking it.”

“That has to cost a miniature fortune,” James told her, as he touched it. “Seriously, she must have spent a fortune on this. She must really like you.”

Kara just stared at it in disbelief. She couldn’t understand why Lena would do this for her. It was too much, and Kara couldn’t help but feel like she didn’t deserve something this nice.

“Oh!” James exclaimed excitedly, “There’s a card.” He pulled it out of the box and offered it to Kara. “Here you go,” he handed it to her.

Kara took it from him with shaking hands. Her hands were literally trembling, as the onslaught of emotions that this surprise instilled in her became too much for her to handle. She carefully tore into the envelope with trembling fingers, and pulled out the paper within.

_Kara,_

_I know what you’re probably thinking right now. I know you’re going to try to tell me that it’s too much, and that you can’t possibly accept this. Then, you’re going to try and tell me that you don’t deserve this, but I would argue that you really do. I wanted you to have this so that you never have to feel far away from home, or your parents, again. This prototype is a special project we’ve been working on for quite some time at L-Corp, and I wanted you to be the first to try it out. You’ll have to let me know how it works._

_All my love,_  
_Lena_

“Oh my word,” Kara breathed. “It’s a prototype. She’s gifted me a prototype. I don’t even… I _can’t_ accept this, James.”

“Yes you can,” James told her with a squeeze to her shoulder, “Kara, she wants you to have this. She wouldn’t have given it to you otherwise.”

“I have to tell her,” Kara said with a quavering voice; though it held an edge of resolve to it that James hadn’t heard from Kara in a long time. “I have to tell her the truth. I can’t… I can’t wait any longer. She deserves to know the truth.”

“Then go to the DEO,” James told her in a sympathetic voice, “Talk to J’onn, and get his permission. I’ll cover for you here.”

“James, you’re my boss,” Kara laughed.

“I know,” James chuckled. “And I’m giving you the afternoon off. Just go, Kara. I can tell this is really important to you. So _go_.”

“Thank you,” Kara said gratefully, as she pulled him into a crushing embrace. He actually grimaced as she hugged him a little too tightly and he felt the cartilage crack in his back and ribcage.

“Anytime,” he said, as he gave her a squeeze.

* * *

 

Kara was in a daze the entire way to the DEO. She actually took a long detour around the around the country, because she knew she needed to calm down a bit beforehand. She closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of the air whipping through her air, as she soared thousands of feet above the earth below. She breathed in and out, in the way Alex had once shown her, letting her breaths calm her little by little. When she achieved an overall sense of calmness, she knew it was time. She headed towards the DEO, landing on the balcony outside the 42nd floor. It still had a large chunk missing from its railing, and Kara silently wondered when they were finally going to get it fixed. Kara took another steadying breath and pushed her way inside it.

J'onn looked up from the operations table, and met her gaze.

"Supergirl," he greeted, "What brings you to the DEO? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I am, but there's something I need to talk to you about, sir," Kara said calmly, diplomatically. "It's important."

"Okay," he nodded, as if it were no question at all.

"Would it be okay, if I asked Alex to join?" Kara asked.

"That's totally up to you," he responded, "I'll meet you guys in the conference room."

Kara nodded, then set off in the direction of Alex's lab. She found Alex hunched over a microscope, making notes on a tablet with a stylus. 

"Alex?" Kara spoke as she tapped on the glass next to the door. Alex looked up from what she was doing, setting the tablet on the countertop as she turned away from the microscope.

"Kara," Alex smiled warmly. "Hey, what are you doing here?" She seemed to catch onto Kara's emotional state, because she asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry to bother you," Kara said, before clearing her throat, "But I was hoping for your help."

"With what?" Alex asked, as her brows drew together. "Kara, you know I'm always here for you. All you have to do is ask."

"I need you to help me talk to J'onn," Kara said as she hopped up on the table next to Alex. "I want to tell Lena who I am. I want to reveal myself to her."

"Wow," Alex breathed as she reached up to tuck a strand of her own hair behind her ear. "That's a big step, Kara."

"I know," Kara swallowed, her throat suddenly feeling very tight. "You said that when I was ready to talk about it, that you would be here. I - I didn't think I would be ready to talk about it so soon, but I..." Kara let out a harsh breath, as her nerves got the better of her.

"But you what?" Alex prodded gently. "Kara, whatever it is you're scared to talk about. It's - It's okay."

"I think I'm in love with her," Kara blurted out. She knew if she didn't admit it just then, that she likely never would.

"You do?" Alex's expression instantly brightened. "Why do you make it sound like it's a bad thing?"

"Because I shouldn't be feeling this way," Kara found herself admitting. "I can't be in love with her, Alex. Mon-El is out there somewhere, and I'm in love with someone else. I'm in love with Lena."

"No kidding," Alex breathed. "Look, Kara, I know that you think that makes you a horrible person, but it _doesn't_. He would want you to be happy. _I_ want you to be happy."

"You don't even like Lena," Kara laughed. "You never have."

"I'll have you know," Alex told her, as she playfully jabbed Kara with a finger, "That Lena has grown on me a lot in the last year. She's a good person, Kara. And she cares about you. Anyone who has seen the two of you together, can see it. She makes you happy, and that's honestly all I've ever wanted for you. Besides, she's like 50x better for you than Mon-El ever was."

"You really think that?" Kara asked in surprise.

"I do," Alex confirmed, "Now let's go. J'onn doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Kara spent the next hour and a half at the DEO talking to J’onn, nonconfrontationally begging him for his approval. She practically laid her heart out on the line for him to see, in a way she hadn't done in a very long time. She talked about her feelings for Lena, and how she couldn’t bear to lie to the person she loved any longer. Alex even helped her in convincing him to let Kara reveal herself to Lena. When they were both finished, Kara was sure that J’onn would still deny her the right to tell Lena the truth, but then he surprised her.

“I trust you, Kara,” he told her. “And I agree that it’s time that she knows the truth. The longer we wait, the more we risk her finding out the truth via some other means. And if that happens, there’s a chance that she will take it as some kind of slight. I don’t want her to follow in her brother’s footsteps. Right now, I feel like we’d be responsible for it if it happened. It’s time she knows the truth.”

“Thank you,” Kara told him in a thick voice, as tears built in her eyes. “Thank you, J’onn. I can’t – I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

"She will need to come in and sign an NDA, within the next few days," J'onn reminded her.

"No problem," Kara spoke excitedly. 

“I trust that you’re going to her office now?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Kara nodded. “I just need a minute to collect my thoughts, and then I’m going to go.”

“I’ll give you two a minute,” J’onn told her and Alex, after he gave Kara a quick hug. Then he departed, leaving Kara and Alex alone in the room.

Kara let out a shaky breath, and shook out her hands. She started pacing back and forth, her boots clicking against the floor as she moved back and forth.

“Kara, it’s going to be fine,” Alex, told her as she walked forwards and grabbed Kara by the shoulders. Her hands slowly slid up to grasp either side of Kara’s neck, forcing the blonde to meet Alex’s chocolate eyes. “I know you’re nervous about this, but I’m telling you that it’s going to be okay.”

“What if it’s not, though,” Kara shook her head, as tears began to build in her eyes, “I mean, what if she hates me?”

“She’s not going to hate you,” Alex told her with immense conviction. “Trust me on this one. She _loves_ you. She’s going to accept you. She already knows who you really are, Kara. She knows your heart. That’s all that matters.”

“I’ve never been so scared in all of my life,” Kara admitted, “And I’ve done a lot of things that should be scarier than this.”

“Kara –“

“Shit,” Kara swore as she pulled away, “I think I’m going to be sick.” Kara rushed over for the wastebasket, hunching over it as she retched loudly. Alex winced, as she followed after the blonde. She gathered up Kara’s hair in her hands, and held it while the blonde emptied her stomach.

“Hey,” Alex soothed, “Hey, just calm down, Kara. It’s going to be alright. She loves you.”

“You don’t know that,” Kara told her as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Alex chuckled. “I think you forget. I _see_ things. I see the mundane things that everybody else misses. And I know without a doubt that she cares about you.”

“I’ve got to go do this, before I lose my nerve,” Kara spoke finally as she pushed herself up.

“Then go,” Alex urged her. “And let me know how it goes.”

* * *

 

It was 3:45 on Thursday, when Kara landed behind a dumster on the edge of the L-Corp property, and quickly changed back into her work outfit, consisting of black and white polka dot pants, and a cream blouse. She straightened her glasses, took another deep breath, and willed herself to move towards the door. Her legs felt unsteady beneath her as she pushed her way into the lobby and moved over towards security, pulling out her visitor’s badge as she did so.

“Hey, Paul,” Kara greeted him with a kind smile. At least she hoped it was a friendly smile. Her stomach was in too many knots for her to know for sure. She’d gotten good at hiding how she was feeling, but in this case, she was too far-gone to fake it. “Is she available right now?”

“Uh,” he cleared his throat as he checked whether she could be let up. “She should be finishing with a meeting in about fifteen minutes, but then she has some time to see you, if you’d like.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” Kara nodded as she wiped her hands on her pants. She was sweating bullets right now. Normally, Kara never had this problem, but her hands were shaking and she expected they were clammy.

He seemed to pick up on her mood because he said, “You nervous about something?”

“Yeah,” Kara chuckled, “Is it that obvious? Oh god, I’m a wreck.”

“Relax, Miss Danvers,” he told her as he handed her badge back to her, “You’re gonna do fine.”

“Hmm?” Kara hummed absentmindedly as her gaze roved over the lobby.

“Today is the day that you’re going to bite the bullet and ask her out, huh?” he joked.

“Oh!” Kara gasped as she met his eyes, “You know about –“

“There’s been a pool going for about five months now,” he laughed, “And anyone with two eyes and half of a brain can see that you’re crazy about each other. Trust me, it’s going to be fine. Just remember to invite me to the wedding, yeah?”

“I think I've underestimated you, Paul,” Kara laughed. She felt her nerves begin to abate just a little bit. “Who knew you were such a softie?”

“Good news,” he told her as he checked the screen again, “It looks like her meeting just finished a little early. You can head up now, if you’d like.”

“Thanks,” Kara spoke warmly. “Remind me to get you a nice Christmas present this year.”

“Sure thing,” he joked as she made her way across the lobby, “Good luck!”

By the time she made it to the elevator, her stomach was back to twisting itself in knots. She closed her eyes, and did her breathing exercises as she struggled to calm herself. She walked past Jess’ desk, offering Lena’s assistant a polite hello and a small wave, before she pushed her way into Lena’s office. Her eyes found Lena immediately. Lena was standing behind her desk, reapplying her faded lipstick, using a small mirror she'd set on its glassy surface. 

"So what's next on the schedule for today, Jess?" Lena asked, as she looked up. But when Lena's eyes found the figure by the door, it was not Jess she found, it was the one person who made her heart feel like it was going to beat its way out of her chest.

“Kara!” Lena’s voice was far too affectionate. Kara loved the sound of her name coming from Lena's lips. It was just the way that Lena said it - it never failed to make Kara's stomach fill with butterflies. “I had a feeling I might be seeing you. I trust that you received my gift?”

“I did, but I don’t know if I can accept it. It’s too much, Lena,” Kara spoke in a surprisingly steady voice, “I don’t even want to think about how much you spent on that. I’m afraid of touching it, for fear that I might break it.”

“You see? I knew you would say that,” Lena chuckled, and her voice honestly sounded like rich velvet to Kara’s ears.

“Lena,” Kara sighed. "I'm being serious. I really don't think I can accept it."

“Kara, do you want me to be happy?” Lena asked her, as she moved around her desk. “You do, don’t you?”

“Of course,” Kara answered in a strong voice. “Of course I want you to be happy.”

“Then the matter is settled,” Lena smiled, “You will accept my gift, because it will make me happy - and you just said that you want me to be happy.”

“You tricked me,” Kara sounded momentarily affronted.

“Yes,” Lena’s eyes twinkled as she moved closer, “I’m a Luthor. One thing you should probably know about us by now, is that we play dirty.”

“Right.” Kara felt mildly nauseated, and reached up to her stomach, pressing a hand against it as she remembered why she was in Lena’s office. The nerves suddenly multiplied threefold, and Kara made the mistake of trying to swallow down her nausea. This only made her feel worse. She could hear Lillian's words echoing round and round in her head.

“Kara,” Lena’s voice softened a bit, as she noticed Kara was looking a bit green. “Hey, are you feeling alright? You look sick.”

“I - oh god,” Kara muttered in a bit of a panic, as she lifted a hand to her mouth. Before Lena could even react, Kara was running from the room. If she was remembering correctly, there was a washroom down the main hall. Kara sprinted down the long hallway as quickly as she could and burst inside, thanking her lucky stars that no one else was inside. She shoved her way into the first stall, and lost her lunch for a second time just as she reached the porcelain bowl.

After she was satisfied that there was nothing left to come up, Kara straightened and flushed, erasing all evidence of her illness. She slowly pushed herself up, on shaking limbs and walked over towards the sink.

With movements a little more vigorous then necessary, she turned on the sink and started washing them. She reached over to the soap dispenser and pressed into it. Kara let out a groan as she got the soap, but also broke the dispenser at the same time. The plastic cracked in half before tumbling to the floor with a loud crash. Kara let out an aggravated breath and scrubbed at her hands. Finally, when she was satisfied they were clean she rinsed them, before reaching over towards the automated paper towel dispenser. At least she didn’t have to worry about breaking that. She waved her hand in front of the sensor, and it spit out a solitary piece of paper towel. Kara let out another sound of displeasure, and waved her hand in front of it again, grudgingly tearing the paper from the dispenser. Kara dried her hands, bunched the paper towel up into a little ball, and tossed it into the trashcan.

With slow drawn out movements, Kara flipped on the sink on again, turning the water as cold as it would go. She slowly cupped her hands and let them fill with a small pool of water, before she brought them up to her mouth and drank. She had to get this terrible taste out of her mouth somehow. She let out an appreciative moan as the cool water washed the taste from her mouth. Then, in another heartbeat, Kara splashed water onto her face. Finally, she straightened up and grabbed some more paper towel, dabbing it over her face to suck up the moisture. She stared at herself for a long moment, examining the circles under her eyes that were starting to mark her features. Kara slowly ran her hand over her face, hastily trying to wipe away all evidence of fatigue from her face.

Kara was completely unprepared for the door to fly open, and for her best friend to come rushing in.

“Kara, are you all ri-” Lena’s voice cut off abruptly as she looked up from the floor to find Kara standing there in a partially soaked shirt. Lena’s jaw quickly fell open. "Oh," Lena seemed to read the situation.

“I’m sorry,” Kara apologized, “I don’t know what came over me. I guess I must be coming down with something.”

“I thought that you didn’t get sick,” Lena joked, “You’ve always bragged about how you never get sick.”

“That's because I – I don’t,” Kara shook her head as she leant forwards against the sink, grabbing the edges of it in her hands. "This - This is just nerves, I think."

 _Sink or swim_  
_What will it be?_  
_We all got skeletons_  
_Set them free_  
_But now I'm over it_  
_And I'm under you_  
_So tell me everything_  
_Take a trip to the moon_

“Kara, what’s going on?” Lena asked, as she walked forwards and pressed a hand to Kara’s shoulder in a way that was quickly becoming a habit. The pressure of Lena's hand on her was enough to send a shiver coursing through Kara's body. “Why are you nervous?"

“It’s –” Kara trailed off as she squeezed the edges of the sink just a little too hard and chunks of porcelain snapped off in each hand. Lena gasped, as her eyes watched it happen. She wasn't used to seeing the blonde lose control like this. She knew then that something must be seriously bothering Kara.

“I – I…” Kara’s brain seemingly short-circuited as this happened. “Oh god, I can’t believe I just did that. I – I never lose control like that. _Ever_.”

“Kara?” Lena’s voice was soft and gentle as the pieces of porcelain literally crumbled to dust in Kara’s hands. Lena took a step back, just as Kara turned to look at her. Kara's expression was remorseful and sad, as she met Lena's gaze. Emotions passed across Kara's face as she read Lena's body language like an open book.

“You’re afraid of me,” Kara whispered, sounding defeated. Lena couldn't bring herself to respond.

“Of course you’re afraid of me,” Kara’s laugh was empty as she looked back towards the destruction she’d wrought with her bare hands. “I just broke this sink with my _bare hands_.”

“Hey,” Lena shook her head, as she corrected her earlier action and took a step forwards. “No, it's not that, Kara. I was just surprised, okay? I need you to tell me what is going on. I can't help you through whatever is upsetting you, if you don't let me. Just – Just _talk_ _to me_! Please!”

“I – I don’t know _how_ ,” Kara breathed, as she started pacing back and forth. Lena watched as Kara lifted a hand to her face and scrubbed. She let out a loud breath. Then Kara glanced over towards the bathroom door, and in the blink of an eye was over by it, locking it. Lena’s eyes followed her with a genuine concern radiating through her emerald green eyes.

“Are there any cameras in here?” Kara asked her suddenly, completely out of the blue, “Is there any possible way that people could listen in on what happens in this room?”

“I –” Lena stuttered as Kara seemingly put her on the spot. “No. There are no cameras. What we say or do in this room stays between us, and only us.”

“You promise?” Kara questioned in a breathless voice.

“I would stake my life on it,” Lena told her confidently. "You can trust me on this, Kara."

“I thought I could do this. I thought I could tell you, but I’m too much of a coward,” Kara said aloud, as she continued pacing about like a caged animal. “So that only leaves me one other choice. I – I have to _show_ you,” Kara spoke in a tremulous voice. Lena gasped as Kara reached up to her glasses and tugged them off. She tossed them into the ruined sink a fraction of a moment later. Kara stopped her pacing, as she turned to face Lena. Though it wasn’t until Kara reached up in order to tug the elastic from her hair that Lena realized what was happening.

‘ _Oh god_ ,’ Lena thought, ‘ _this is happening. This is really happening right now. Kara is trying to tell me she’s Supergirl_.’

“Kara –” Lena tried to calm Kara’s racing heart, placing her hands over Kara’s trembling ones, just as the blonde reached up towards the front of her own shirt. “Kara, hey, it’s okay. Whatever it is that you’re scared to tell me, I promise you, it’s going to be okay.”

 _Oh, when you're holding back the words_  
_'Cause you're afraid of being hurt_  
_Just let love in_  
_Just let love in_  
_Oh, we're only skin and bone_  
_We don't have to be alone_  
_Just let love in_  
_Just let love in_  
_I, I, I, I, I, I, just let love in_  
_Just let love in_

“It’s _me_ ,” Kara breathed, her voice was quavering, too, “I’m _her_ , Lena. I’m Supergirl.” With a tear of fabric, Kara ripped open the front of her own shirt, revealing the blue super-suit underneath, and Lena forgot how to breathe. Seeing Kara like this, feeling Kara like this, was something she could never adequately prepare herself for. Kara’s hands were still holding onto her own, as if they were serving as some kind of lifeline. Lena gazed into Kara’s eyes – into bottomless blue pools, all the while feeling Kara’s hands clinging to her own. 

Lena’s jaw was working overtime as she tried to come up with something to say. She was aware that Kara was waiting for her to say something, but for some reason, Lena couldn’t make anything come out of her vocal cords. She was stunned silent.

“Lena,” Kara’s voice was broken, as she begged her to say something, “ _Please_. Please say something. Even if it’s to tell me you hate me. Just, _please_ , I don’t know if I can handle all of this waiting. It's killing me.”

"Kara," Lena's voice held a reverence to it as she spoke her name. "You - You are so beautiful to me,” Lena told her finally, in absolute wonder. “I wish you could see what you look like through my eyes.” Her voice was scarcely a whisper as she spoke her words.

“Lena,” Kara’s voice trembled as she felt her throat close up on her. Tears built in bright blue eyes. She'd spent so long preparing herself for the backlash she was sure would follow the big reveal. This - this was not at all like what she thought it would be.

“This may be too much to ask, but can I - Can I have my hands back now?” Lena questioned. "Now that you know I'm not going to run away?"

“I – Yeah,” Kara muttered, as she flushed a deep shade of scarlet, “Sorry.” Kara released her hands, missing Lena’s touch immediately.

Carefully, almost in awe, Lena reached out a hand to touch Kara’s Super-suit. She let her fingers trace the crest with all of its twists and turns. She pressed a palm to Kara’s chest, feeling the blonde’s heart thrum beneath her fingertips. Kara closed her eyes as Lena's hands paused over the muscle, feeling the contractions reverberate through skin and bone. Kara willed her heart to slow down a little bit, something that was impossible to do when Lena's hands touched her.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Lena explained. “But knowing the person that lies beneath makes this moment all the more sweet.”

"Lena," Kara swallowed, her voice nearly failing her.

"I love you," Lena confessed, her eyes were seemingly bottomless as Kara was given a rare glimpse into the brunette's soul. Kara nodded, swallowing over the large lump in her throat. Lena waited for her to say it back. Her jaw tightened just a little bit in concern when Kara offered no reciprocation.

"Kara?" Lena's dulcet voice spoke aloud. She was trying to win the blonde's attention, but failed. Kara was staring into Lena, but not into her eyes. Finally, Kara looked up.

"I - I'm sorry," Kara apologized, "I was just thinking. This seems like a _dream_. I've imagined this moment so many times, and I never once thought that it would play out this way. I - I love you too."

"What did you imagine it would be like, Kara?" Lena questioned. "How did I take the news?"

"You were angry, betrayed," Kara admitted, "In most cases, you couldn't even bear to look at me. But I think the worst thing you ever called me was a liar."

"The worst thing?" Lena repeated. 

"Oh, no," Kara chuckled, "You called me things a lot worse than that, too. But I think it was the worst thing for me to hear, because a part of me knew that you were right. I'm a liar."

"Kara," Lena sighed. "Believe it or not, but I understand your reasons for not telling me. Sure, you may have kept a secret from me, but you had good reasons for doing so." 

“It's just, how? - How are you not angry?” Kara asked her. “Your mother told me that you would hate me if you ever found out who I was. And I hate to admit it, but that’s a big reason why it took me so long to tell you who I was. I was – I was so afraid that she might be right. I was so worried that in telling you – that I would lose you in the very same breath.”

“Kara,” Lena shook her head. “My dear, sweet, Kara. You really don’t understand, do you?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Kara admitted. "What is it i'm meant to understand?"

“My mother does not know me. She raised me, yes, but she never really paid much attention to the kind of person I was. She never _cared_ enough to look. She doesn’t _know_ me, not like _you_ do. She may be a part of my life, but she does not know my heart - and she most certainly does not know where it lies,” Lena responded. “But I’ll tell _you_. It lies with you, Kara Danvers. It _has_ for a long time.”

“Zor-El,” Kara corrected her in a quiet, breathy voice.

“What?” Lena’s voice hitched as she peered deep into Kara’s blue eyes.

“My name - my real name is Kara Zor-El,” Kara told her, as she reached up for Lena’s hand. “I am one of the last survivors of Krypton - the last remaining daughter of the house of El. That’s what the symbol on my chest means. It’s my family crest.” Kara took Lena’s hand in her own, and lifted it to her lips, pressing a kiss into its palm. Lena shivered, feeling undeniably connected with Kara as she gazed into bottomless blue pools. Her hand tingled where Kara's lips touched it, sending shocks coursing down her fingertips.

“ _Kara Zor-El_ ,” Lena repeated in breathless wonder.

“I think it’s about time you know exactly who I am,” Kara said as she pressed another kiss to Lena’s wrist. “Lena, I’ve told you a lot of things about me. I’ve told you things that I haven’t even been able to say to my family. I just never told you that I’m from Krypton. I  _hope_ \- I _pray_ that you can forgive me, and that you know that I never meant to lie to you. It’s just – you were that one person that I could get away with. You’ve been my escape, my _safe_ _haven_. Spending all those days with you, where I could just allow myself to be normal, is what has saved me. You’ve given me the most ultimate gift of all; you’ve given me the chance to be human. I don’t want to lose that. So please... _Please_ don’t treat me differently now that you know. I don’t think I could bear that.”

“Nothing has changed between us, Kara,” Lena spoke honestly. “I _promise_. I won’t treat you any differently. And I can say that honestly, because I love _both_ parts of you. I love Kara Danvers just as much as I love Supergirl, perhaps even more.” Then, “Though, if I’m being honest, there are some things that are going to change. For instance, I’m always going to worry about you, Kara. And I’m going to want to protect you and keep you safe, especially now that I know what you do.” Lena pulled Kara into a hug, wrapping her arms around Kara's midsection.

“I don't know what to say,” Kara closed her eyes as she felt Lena bury her face in the space between Kara’s neck and shoulder. “It's really hard for me to tell people about who I am. Mainly because every time I tell someone who I am, every time I open myself up to someone, I give another little piece of myself away. I've given a lot of pieces away - pieces that I can't get back. I’ve lost so many people in my life, Lena. And as silly as it is, I can't help but wonder if it's my fault. I feel like I'm cursed somehow."

“Kara,” Lena’s voice trembled as she felt tears build in her eyes. She can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose everyone – everyone in your life that matters. It was hard to hear Kara blame herself like this.

"What if I'm the problem?" Kara questioned, "What if loving me puts you in more danger?"

"I'm a lot stronger than you give me credit for," Lena told her. "I'm not going to be sorry for loving you, Kara," Lena shook her head. "I _won't_. I don't think I could stop loving you now, not even if I tried."

"I know," Kara's voice was small as she spoke, "I'm just scared. I – I mean I lost my whole planet – my _people_. And because of that loss, the people in my life – the people that I choose to have in my life are that much more important to me. I don't think I could bear the loss of someone so precious to me.”

"Hey," Lena's voice was gentle as she pulled back. "Look at me," Lena implored her as she reached out for Kara's face, palming her cheeks gently between her hands. "I'm not going anywhere," Lena joked, "You're stuck with me."

“I guess what I’m saying is that if we do this – If we try for more than friendship, you have to realize that I’m all in…and I’m going to be all in from the get go,” Kara continued, “So you need to be sure that this is what you really want.”

Kara’s voice was serious as she said, “Also, with this gift of knowledge – this gift of knowing who I am, comes something far more unwelcome – something _dangerous_. Without meaning to - I unknowingly put a target on the back of everyone that I love, because _they_ will always be my greatest weakness. Lex was wrong about that. Our greatest weakness isn’t Kryptonite, Lena, it’s our _family_ – it’s the people we love. _They_ are what make us human. They are what make our fight worth fighting. They are our secret weapon. The truth is, I would do just about anything to protect you – to protect Alex. _Even_ _kill_.”

“Kara,” Lena whispered as she pulled away. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you should know,” Kara answered simply, “You should know everything about the person you choose to love, Lena. I don’t want you to enter into a relationship with me, without knowing exactly what you’re getting.”

“I already _know_ what I’m getting, Kara,” Lena told her as she pulled back. “I…” Kara silenced her with a finger to the lips.”

“I don’t want you to make your decision now in the heat of the moment,” Kara breathed. “I need you to think about it. I need you to process all of what I have told you, instead of making a rash decision. I just…I wanted you to know. I wanted this to come from me and not someone else.”

Kara let out a sharp breath as she felt her phone start to go off, in her pocket. Kara let out a laugh at being interrupted. "Why does this always happen?"

Kara reached down and pulled out her phone. She let out a sigh, as she saw Alex’s name on the display. "I'm sorry, Lena, but I've got to take this." Lena nodded, and Kara accepted the call. 

“Alex,” Kara huffed, “Hey, I’m kind of in the middle of something, can I call you back?”

“You’re still talking?”

“Yeah,” Kara swallowed, her throat tight. “Can it wait?”

“I’m afraid not,” Alex replied, “J’onn is calling in all of the troops, and it’s pretty obvious this isn’t a drill. You’re needed here ASAP.”

“Alright,” Kara choked out, “I’ll be on my way.” Kara disconnected the call, and shoved her phone back into her back pocket, under Lena’s studious gaze.

“I – I know this is terrible timing, but I sort of have to go,” Kara laughed, this time her eyes twinkled as she held Lena’s bright green gaze.

“At least now I know why you’re always ducking out after mysterious calls or texts,” Lena teased back. “I was starting to worry that you were dodging me.”

“Never,” Kara told her seriously. “You should know that I don't like leaving you, Lena. _Not ever._ ”

“Just promise me something?” Lena asked her quietly.

“ _Anything_ ,” Kara responded, as if it were no question at all.

“Be careful,” Lena swallowed, “I – I have a bad feeling that I really don’t want to be right about. So just – make sure to watch your back, okay?”

“Come here,” Kara told her as she pulled Lena back into an embrace. They hugged for almost half a minute before Kara slowly withdrew. But as she did so, she paused long enough to press her forehead against Lena’s. She tenderly lifted her hands to Lena’s face, framing the brunettes’ face between her hands. “I love you. It’s going to be fine. I'll be careful, I promise.” Then she pressed a final, lingering kiss to Lena’s forehead and was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for now! I'll try to update again soon! If you have a chance to stop by and leave a like or a comment I would appreciate it! Thanks for reading!


	9. Last of the Real Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena finally go out on their first date, and maybe - just maybe - have their first kiss. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit. 
> 
> Hey, guys! I'm sorry for the super long wait in posting this chapter, but things have been hectic in my life right now. I've been working on getting my NREMT certification the last week, and that sorta got in the way. I really hope that you like this chapter! It was a lot of fun to write!
> 
> Thanks, as always, for all of the love and support. I'm floored by the response this has gotten as my very first venture into the Supergirl and Supercorp universe. I love you guys!

When Lena showed up at Kara’s apartment on Friday evening, she was a nervous wreck. In fact, she can’t ever remember being this nervous for anything in her life. Her stomach was in knots, and she felt mildly nauseated. Her palms were sweaty, as she walked up the last flight of stairs. She stepped carefully in her high heels, as she walked to the blonde’s door. She’d texted the blonde several times to let her know that she was running early, but hadn’t gotten a response from the blonde. She just hoped that Kara hadn’t forgotten about their date. After all, it wouldn’t have been the first time, but Lena reckons that if anyone should get a free pass for doing so, it should be Kara. Lena didn’t even want to think about all of the things that Kara had on her plate, on a daily basis. Between working at Catco, and moonlighting as Supergirl, Kara had her hands full. Every day brought something new and different for Kara - it brought immense responsibility. It brought the weight of the world to the blonde’s shoulders.

Lena rapped heavily on the metal door with her knuckles, feeling small shocks traveling through her hand with each contact. They traveled through her wrist, before the muscles and bones of her forearm absorbed them. Lena’s lips drew into a thin line as she realized that she couldn’t hear any noises from inside. But surely Kara should be home right now, shouldn’t she? It was only fifteen minutes until their scheduled date. Lena checked her watch. It was thirteen minutes now, actually. Lena let out a tremulous breath.

“Kara?” Lena knocked on the door again. Still nothing.

Lena pulled out her key, and forced it into the lock. She hated the notion of barging in like this, but she was starting to get worried that Kara might have forgotten. With a turn of her wrist, Lena twisted the key, and heard the deadbolt disengage with a tiny click. She’d followed their agreement, which was to text or call Kara before coming over. Lena pushed open the door with a soft creak, and let out a sigh, as her eyes took in the empty apartment. Lena’s jaw clenched in worry, as she walked over to the couch and sat down upon it. Her hands danced nervously in her lap as she waited.

At six minutes before the hour, Lena gave up all hope that Kara was going to come. She got up and went into the kitchen. She got herself a glass of ice water, and sat down at the island. She let out a frustrated sigh as she made her own cheap form of entertainment. The ice clattered gently against the edge of the glass as she swirled her straw around it. With her other hand, Lena drummed her fingers against the surface of the counter. Kara was late now, and Lena still hadn’t received so much as a single text from her. This concerned her more than Lena would care to admit. After all, the blonde was rarely late. In fact, Kara had been late to dinner precisely one time in the year that Lena had known her, and she suspected that Kara had had a good reason.

Still, this sort of thing didn’t happen to her. It didn’t. She’d never had a guy stand her up for a date. Even Jack, who had a very inconsistent work schedule that entailed working ridiculous hours, never once stood her up for a date. Lena felt a plethora of emotions that she didn’t even want to touch the surface on. For starters, she felt angry, hurt, upset, confused. But mainly just hurt, because despite her best efforts to shrug it off, she still cared. She really cared, damn it.

After Lena’s long day at work, she’d rushed home and had frantically rooted through her closet, trying to find the perfect outfit to wear. She’d never agonized so much over a single decision in her entire life. She’d finally come up with the perfect one, hoping that the outfit would blow Kara away. If only she just got the chance.

It had been a long day to begin with. Things at L-Corp had been tenuous at best. She was preparing the alien detection device to go to market, though she really didn’t want to. And she was doing it all, because Kara was adamant that she should protect herself first and foremost. If only Kara realized just how difficult that really was. Kara was basically forcing Lena to choose her job over Kara’s own safety and that didn’t sit right with Lena. The only thing that made it all better, is that she knew that she was going to get to see Kara tonight. And now – now it was looking like Kara was going to be a no-show. Kara should have called or texted. She should have told Lena she wouldn’t be able to make it, instead she had let her get her hopes up. Instead, Lena was devastated.

She reached into her small clutch purse and pulled out her phone, checking the display. No missed calls.

That was it. Lena unlocked the display, scrolled through her contacts and dialed Kara’s number. Kara’s phone rang straight to voicemail. Great. Her phone was off. Lena’s stomach sank as worry took over. What if something had happened to her? Lena felt her anger waver, as she thought of how Kara had been acting lately. Lena hung up without leaving a message, then rethought her decision and called again.

“Hey, Kara,” Lena tried to keep her voice even, but worry somehow managed to seep into her tone, “I’m at your apartment in order to pick you up, and I’m just wondering where you are. Give me a call as soon as you get this. Thanks, bye.” She hit the end button a little more vigorously than was needed and tossed her phone onto the table with a small clatter.

Lena’s head whipped around towards the bedroom as she heard a loud crash sound outside. Before Lena’s very eyes, the window exploded inwards. It practically disintegrated, causing wood and glass to spray outwards around the window frame. Lena gasped as a figure in blue, red and gold, tumbled to the floor.

  
_I was just an only child of the universe_  
_And then I found you_  
_And then I found you_  
_You are the sun and I am just the planet_  
_Spinning around you_  
_Spinning around you_  
_You were too good to be true_  
_Gold plated_  
_But what's inside you_  
_But what's inside you_  
_I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you_  
_But not as much as I do_  
_As much as I do, yeah_

“Shit,” Kara grumbled, before she slowly got back up again. Lena could see that Kara was moving about strangely, almost disjointedly – as if she was summoning the strength to move. Lena could hear pieces of glass fracture beneath the weight of Kara’s boots, as she stepped on them. The blonde’s hair was shielding Kara’s face from Lena’s view like an impenetrable curtain. “That’s going to cost me.” Kara was still seemingly unaware that someone else was in her apartment.

Lena jumped to her feet; all of her previous feelings of anger and hurt were gone, and in their place was something else entirely. She felt worry, as her eyes saw Kara’s face for the first time. Was that blood on the blonde’s jaw?

Without thinking, Lena rushed forwards to help. The blonde looked drained. She looked tired. Lena gasped as Kara sank back down to the floor. Kara's knees had seemingly given out on her, without any warning. Kara groaned, as she leant back against the foot of her bed.

Kara stiffened as she felt hands on her shoulders, touching her with such gentleness that it could only be one person. Kara let out a groan as two bright green eyes swam in her blurred vision, shining like a beacon in the darkness that threatened to swallow Kara whole. Kara drew immense comfort from Lena’s eyes, and from hands that were touching her - like she meant everything to her.

“Kara?” Lena’s throat closed up on her, as she tried to speak. “What happened?” Kara’s vision swam as she tried to move. Lena pushed her down gently against the floor – as if she could honestly hold Kara there if she had to. Though, Lena knew that Kara could overpower her in a heartbeat, if she wanted to. Still, Kara did not want to fight any longer. She sank back to the floor. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” Kara shook her head. Her voice trembled as she spoke, “It’s not – It’s not mine.”

“Then whose blood is it?” Lena questioned. Kara just shook her head. Silently indicating that she couldn’t answer the question - not just yet.

“Lee?” Kara’s voice was weak, raspy, as she spoke the single syllable. It was as if she couldn’t quite summon the strength for two. And Lena decided that she liked the sound of her name from Kara’s chapped lips.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Lena, replied weakly, as she swallowed down her worst fears.

“Are you just getting back now?” Lena questioned, deciding that she needed answers, “Did you even sleep last night?”

“No,” Kara shook her head. “There was no chance for that.”

“Oh, _Rao_ ,” Kara groaned, as she tried to push herself up. “You shouldn’t be here. You’re not supposed to see me like _this_. I'm a mess.”

“Oh, really? Cause the plans we made for tonight seem to indicate otherwise,” Lena said with teasing sarcasm. “Here, let me help you up,” Lena spoke as she coaxed Kara into a standing position, using her own body as an anchor - a brace.

“Oh,” Kara said as looked suddenly guilty, “Oh, god. Our _date!_ …I can't believe that I forgot about our date. I seriously have to be the worst _friend_ – the worst _person_ in existence right now. I’m so sorry. I’ve ruined everything.”

“Our date? That’s what you’re worried about right now?” Lena asked her. Just as suddenly, a laugh was falling from her lips. “You just crashed through your bedroom window, because you’re so tired you can’t hold yourself up. Our date can wait for now, Kara.”

 _'Cause you're the last of a dying breed_  
_Write our names in the wet concrete_  
_I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me_  
_I'm here in search of your glory_  
_There's been a million before me_  
_That ultra-kind of love_  
_You never walk away from_

_You're just the last of the real ones_

“No,” Kara shook her head.

“No?” Lena questioned with the sound of a laugh on her lips. She loved how stubborn Kara could be.

“No, it can’t,” Kara murmured as she lifted a dirt encrusted hand, as if to touch Lena, but drew her hand back at the last minute. “Because I don’t want to wait another second. I’ve seen too much - experienced too much. I tried _so_ hard to fly just a little faster, to fight just a little harder, but it’s never enough. I couldn’t save them all. People are dead, Lena. It was – It was a slaughter.”

“Every time I fail to save someone, it feels like my heart is being torn into a thousand jagged pieces. And right now?  Right now the only thing I know that can make me feel better – that can save me from what I’m feeling is _you_.”

“Kara,” Lena’s voice was undeniably gentle as she spoke the blonde’s name.

“Give me five minutes,” Kara told her. “Give me five minutes to clean myself up, and then we can go. We can still make it in time for the beginning.”

“Kara,” Lena sighed.

“Please?” the simple plea was enough to break down all of Lena’s walls, and obliterate all of her insecurities.

“Okay,” Lena breathed. “I’m just going to turn on the news while you get ready. I’ll see you in five minutes.”

“You won’t regret it,” Kara promised, before she quickly disappeared into the bathroom.

Lena let out a weighted breath as she glanced down at all of the broken glass littering the floor. She silently wondered where Kara kept the broom and the dustpan. She rushed over to the utility closet, and let out a sigh of relief, as she found what she was looking for. She pulled it out and set about picking up the broken glass from the floor. The shards of glass reflected and refracted beams of light across the floor, and Lena let herself get distracted by them, as she swept it them into the dustpan. When it was full, Lena carried it over to the trashcan, and tilted it downwards, watching as the glass rained down into the trash bin with a soft tinkle of broken glass. Lena moved back to the bedroom and set about repeating the process.

When she looked up a few minutes later to the sound of the door opening, she felt her breath catch in her throat. To be honest, Lena's heart stopped briefly, as she caught her first glimpse of Kara. Her jaw fell open a little bit as her eyes took in the perfect, strapless sapphire dress that left little to the imagination. Her eyes raked hungrily over Kara's smooth legs - over toned calves, quadriceps. She followed them upwards, until they disappeared beneath the hem of Kara's dress. Lena is pretty sure that she's never seen Kara wear anything like it before. All of Kara's normal outfits were on the conservative spectrum. She'd only seen Kara in a dress a couple of times before, and those had been markedly different. Lena let her eyes rake over every detail, as she realized that this dress had been chosen for her benefit. Kara had chosen this dress for _her, and_ Lena couldn't help but feel special. It was _stunning_.

One of the things that made the dress so perfect was that it brought out the color of Kara’s eyes. It made Kara's eyes look luminous and vivid. Sure, she loved the color of Kara's eyes on a normal day, but _this_ \- this was something else. She knew that she could never accurately come up with a word to describe the colors she was seeing in Kara's eyes. It was otherworldly - it was splendid, and Lena would never forget it. Lena realized that she could get lost in Kara's eyes, especially because the blonde wasn't wearing her glasses. There was nothing to detract from the blonde's undeniable beauty. The blonde’s hair was pulled up in an elaborate up-do, that Lena had never seen on the blonde before. And Lena was _in love_. She was stunned silent.

 _I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision_  
_But only for you_  
_But only for you_  
_My head is stripped, just like a screw that's been tightened too many times_  
_When I think of you_  
_When I think of you_  
_I will shield you from the waves_  
_If they find you_  
_I will protect you_  
_I will protect you_  
_Just tell me, tell me, tell me_  
_I, I am the only one_  
_Even if it's not true_  
_Even if it's not true, yeah_

“Your heart is racing out of control right now,” Kara informed her with a hint of a smile on her lips. Then, it faltered a bit as she asked, “Is everything alright. Do I look okay?”

“Are you kidding me?” Lena questioned, with a flash of her emerald green eyes. “You are, aren’t you? Of course you look _okay_. You look _incredible_. Oh, my poor little Irish heart… You’re practically devastating like this, Kara. I don’t even know how to handle the sight of you like this. I'm pretty sure my brain just short-circuited.”

“That good?” Kara’s eyes held a warmth and affection in them, as she stepped forwards. Lena shivered as Kara gently extricated the broom from Lena’s hand. Lena actually stopped breathing, as she focused on the sensation of Kara's warm fingers against her own. Kara briefly turned away, as she set the broom against the wall, and then turned back to face her.

“You clean up nicely,” Lena’s voice nearly failed her. “It’s almost not fair. That you can do in four minutes what it took me over an hour to do.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you look spectacular,” Kara told her. "And you're far more beautiful than I could ever be. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but sometimes... sometimes I get lost in you. I just - I forget how to breathe, because nothing else matters when I'm looking at you. You're _that_ beautiful, Lena."

"That's not possible," Lena spoke passionately with a shake of your head.

"Lena," Kara sighed.

"No!" Lena burst out. "You are literally considered a god by some people on this planet, and I'm telling you that it is impossible for you to be less beautiful than I am."

"We'll just have to agree to disagree, then," Kara told her, with a knowing expression. "I'd be happy to stand here all night arguing with you, because I'm pretty sure I'd win this fight."

"As if," Lena scoffed, interrupting Kara briefly.

"But I'm pretty sure we should get going soon, if we don't want to miss the event," Kara finished. She looked somewhat proud of herself, for not letting herself get deterred by Lena's words.

"You're right about that," Lena conceded.

“Before we go, can I just say that I love your hair like this?” Kara breathed as she briefly ran her fingers through the gently curled strands falling freely over Lena’s shoulders. “It makes you look soft in the best way possible. It almost feels like a gift. I feel honored that you let me see this side of you.”

“Kara,” Lena’s eyelids fluttered as she drowned in the sensations of Kara touching her.

“We should probably go,” Kara reminded her. “I wouldn’t want for us to be any later than we are.”

“Your glasses,” Lena reminded her gently, and Kara looked almost sheepish as she reached up to confirm that she’d forgotten them. Lena felt a laugh bubble up in her throat, as Kara vanished in a gust of air. She reappeared before Lena’s laugh had a chance to die on her lips.

“Thanks,” Kara looked almost shy as she settled them on her nose.

“What do you see without them?” Lena asked her, "If you don't mind me asking."

“You don’t want to know,” Kara laughed, her tone rueful.

“Humor me,” Lena told her.

“Well, remember when you were in school and were preparing to do a presentation? And you know how they would tell you how to deal with the nerves by picturing everyone in your audience naked?” Kara hedges. “Well, It’s sort of like that.”

“What?” Lena’s eyes were suddenly wide in surprise, “You mean you can see…”

“Oh!” Kara’s cheeks were suddenly scarlet. “Oh, no! It’s not anything like _that_. I mean, it's not like I was seeing you naked or anything, it’s just…it’s sort of like an x-ray. I see bones and outlines of body mass, but not…not that.”

“Oh,” Lena breathed. “That must be so strange.”

“It is,” Kara admitted. “That’s why I like the lead-lined glasses. They suppress my enhanced vision and let me see what everyone else sees. They also suppress my hearing, and I'm grateful for that because my superhero senses can be kind of overwhelming sometimes. I – I used to get headaches – migraines from sensory overload. Hell, I used to get panic attacks, until Jeremiah taught me how to make sense of it all." Kara paused briefly. "Now that I know how to use them, I’m grateful for them. But, it’s still nice to be normal - It's nice to be human. That's why I wear them. It's not just for a disguise. It gives me a respite from it all.” Kara let out a small laugh. “Sorry, I went off on another tangent.”

“No!” Lena burst out. “Hey," Lena smiled, "I’m glad you can tell me about these things now. I love knowing things about you.”

"Is it weird for you?" Kara couldn't help but ask.

"Is what weird for me?" Lena shot back.

"Dating an alien?" Kara asked. Her tone was meant to be one of humor, but Lena could sense that there was also a bit of unease in Kara's voice, too. "I can only imagine what it would be like to fall for someone, and later find out that there's this whole other side to them that you don't know about. It must be weird for you."

"Kara," Lena shook her head. "It's really not weird at all. I love all the things that make you, you. So no, it's not weird."

"I don't deserve you," Kara said. "I really don't."

"Why - Why do you keep saying that?" Lena questioned. "Kara, I wish you could see what I see in you. You're amazing. I - I love all of the facets of your personality. I love how brave, and selfless, and unfailingly loyal you are. I love how you are always there for your friends. - how you don't even hesitate to drop everything to help them when they need it. But mainly, I love how you see the good in everything, and you try to make others see it too. You're like the sun. You bring so much light and joy into my life and into the lives of others."

"Lena," Kara felt herself getting emotional as she listened to the brunette talk about her with such love.

"And God, I - I love how beautiful you are when you smile. It's like the world just stops. I forget how to breathe. Oh, and your laugh! I love how carefree it is, and how it always sounds like it's right on the verge of losing control."

"Lena," Kara pleaded. "You're going to make me cry, if you keep going. So _please_ , please stop."

"I - I'm sorry," Lena's eyes held Kara's. "I can't think about you, and not feel those things, Kara. That's the point I was trying to make. I love you. I can't help it. I just _do_."

"I love you, too," Kara said as she laughed, the sound was almost wet as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. "Look at us. We're getting soft." Lena shivered as Kara lifted her hand and pressed a kiss the skin of Lena's wrist. She dropped Lena's hand, and let herself appreciate the view in front of her. Lena was dressed to the nines. She looked like a movie star, and Kara was mesmerized. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to have Lena. 

"You have a strange look on your face right now," Lena laughed.

Kara opened her mouth to speak, but Lena cut her off, "Don't apologize."

"It's just, you look really beautiful," Kara confessed, "You look amazing, Lena."

"You don't look so bad yourself," Lena shot back. Her eyes were suddenly the brightest shade of green that Kara had ever seen.

“Shall we go?” Kara questioned, as she offered Lena a hand. Lena smiled, as she slipped her hand into Kara’s and threaded her fingers through Kara’s. She felt Kara’s strong pulse resonate against her fingers, and suddenly realized that she had been aching for the blonde’s touch like this, quite possibly for a long time. She felt undeniably connected as they walked to the door hand in hand.

* * *

  _'Cause you're the last of a dying breed_  
_Write our names in the wet concrete_  
_I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me_  
_I'm here in search of your glory_  
_There's been a million before me_  
_That ultra-kind of love_  
_You never walk away from_  
_You're just the last of the real ones_

Twenty minutes later, saw them walking through the gardens outside of the National City Amphitheater. The sky was a clear and deep blue, the deepest blue they'd seen in a long time, and the sun was warm on her cheeks. Kara held Lena’s hand tightly in her right hand, as they moseyed along the pathway in the rose gardens. They formed a small line across the narrow pathway. Ever so often they’d break it, to let others by, but the second that they were passed them, Kara grabbed hold of Lena’s hand in her own again. Every time this happened, Lena felt her cheeks flush with color. Kara had a way of making her seem special without even trying. Lena felt like a teenager all over again.

“This place is so beautiful,” Kara remarked as they looked around. “Oh! look at those flowers over there. They're beautiful”

“I just can’t get over how beautiful the day is, in general,” Lena replied. The temperature was warm, but not overly so. If she had to guess Lena would have estimated that the temperature was hovering around 75 degrees. The air was dry, as opposed to humid, and the breeze was just strong enough to where it kept them very comfortable. “It couldn’t be any more perfect, if we’d planned it.”

Kara felt a sudden tug on her arm as Lena came to a stop. She nearly laughed at her cuteness as Lena bent down over a bunch of plumerias, and inhaled, smelling the flowers as it were. And Kara, using her quick reflexes, pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of her as she closed her eyes. Lena was smiling brightly, mesmerizingly, and it warmed Kara’s heart. As Lena sprang up, Kara slipped it back into her clutch, and acted none the wiser. But she had a new picture to use for her phone's wallpaper.

“Excuse me,” a voice piped up from behind them. “I'm sorry to bother you, but you’re Lena Luthor, aren’t you? I'm a huge fan of your work!”

Lena felt a pang of loss, as Kara pulled her hand from her own. She almost wished that Kara hadn’t done so, though she understood why she had. Kara was just trying to protect Lena’s image in the eyes of whoever it was that had recognized her.

“Hi,” Lena smiled warmly at the man, as he introduced himself to her and offered her a hand. “It’s good to meet you.”

"Jonathan," he offered, as they shook hands.

"Jonathan," she repeated politely. "I would introduce myself," she laughed, "But it would seem that you already know who I am."

Kara looked away briefly, suddenly feeling as if she were intruding, as he instantly struck up a conversation with Lena about a new project that L-Corp was working on, giving his two cents. The other gentleman that Jonathan was with smiled good-naturedly at her, offering a silent apology for his partner’s behavior and looked away. Kara let out a small chuckle, and stepped away from Lena, as she let herself get distracted by a nearby bird. She followed after the hummingbird, chasing it down another pathway as the rapid movement of the bird’s wings entranced her. She loved admiring such things.

“Thank you for talking with me,” Jonathan said, as he sensed Lena wanted to get back to Kara, “I'm sorry for interrupting. Please pass along my apologies to your -"

"I will," Lena swallowed. She'd wanted to finish that thought for him. She'd wanted to call Kara her girlfriend, and that thought sat heavily in Lena's stomach. Would Kara want that? Would Kara want to be hers?

"I’ll let you get back,” he smiled, seemingly reading her thoughts. 

Lena turned around and frowned as she realized that Kara was no longer anywhere within her field of vision.

“Oh! Did you happen to see where my friend went off to?” Lena asked, as she realized that somewhere in all of the commotion and the pleasantries that she’d lost her.

“Try that pathway there,” the other gentleman told her amiably, as inclined his head towards another pathway. “I saw her drift off in that direction a couple of minutes ago.”

“Thank you,” Lena smiled gratefully.

"It's no problem," he smiled, "Thank you for humoring my boyfriend. It means a lot that you took the time to talk with him." He gave a small friendly gesture, and then they were gone, moving further down the main path. Lena chuckled, and started walking on a small path off to her right. She’d never seen roses that particular color before. They were violet, but were also almost smoky in appearance. She couldn’t get over how beautiful they looked. She had to repress the urge to touch them. The flowers were so fragrant that in many ways it was an onslaught to the senses, but it was a good one at that. Lena closed her eyes, feeling silly for acting like such a child. But she felt free in a way she hadn't felt in a long time.

Lena had to admit that she was a bit surprised. She never thought she would enjoy the Rose gardens so much. Part of her knew that it was the company that made the trip so enjoyable, and not anything else. Still, she was beginning to miss Kara's company, as she drifted along the path. She continued walking, finding herself in a bit of a sprawling maze. She somehow managed to get completely lost, but never felt anything but a calm resolve. She was about to turn around when a pair of arms snaked their way around her waist and a body pressed tightly into her back. Lena closed her eyes, letting out a quavering breath, as butterflies erupted in her stomach.

“You should be careful,” Lena teased. “My girlfriend doesn’t seem like she’s one to share, and it’s common knowledge that she packs a mean punch.”

“Does she now?” Kara’s teasing voice husked into Lena’s ear, causing a shiver to shoot down her spine. Lena couldn’t help but groan as she tried to grasp onto Kara’s muscular arms. She turned in Kara’s hold, and opened her eyes to find Kara’s bright blue eyes gazing into the depths of her own. She didn’t dare breathe for a moment as they held their positions. She could feel the warmth of Kara’s breath on her face, and her fingers raking ever so gently through Lena’s hair.

“You could say that,” Lena replied, her eyes twinkling in the bright sunlight.

"Is it wrong that I was jealous of him?" Kara asked finally. "Here I am, on a date with the most beautiful woman in the world, and I was jealous of some guy for talking science with you."

"Oh, Kara," Lena told her honestly, "If only you knew how crazy about you I am. There's no need to be jealous."

“How about we head towards the amphitheater? The concert should be starting soon.” Kara suggested.

“Lead the way,” Lena made a gesture that had Kara cracking up. They hooked arms and headed off towards the place in the center of the gardens.

When they reached the amphitheater, it was already filling up. Lena quickly found their seats and let Kara sit first, before ultimately sitting down next to her. She couldn’t stop the smile from gracing her lips. as Kara reached over to take Lena's hand in hers. It was as if Kara couldn’t wait to touch her. Lena quickly twined their fingers together.

"Just a second," Kara told her, as she dropped her hand for a moment. Lena's brow furrowed as she looked over in order to see Kara making a square with two L-shapes made by her thumb and forefinger.

“Kara,” Lena commented, though it was obvious what the hell she was doing, “What in the hell are you doing?”

“Taking a mental picture,” Kara replied as if it were the most normal thing in the world. The only thing this earned her, was a bemused eye roll from Lena. “What? There’s nothing more beautiful than this.” Lena’s heart soared as she laughed, loudly. Kara, too, felt her heart begin to pound. Lena looked so beautiful when she laughed, that it honestly took her breath away. In some ways, Kara felt like she was back in high school. She was happy she could make Lena laugh like that, because she knew Lena deserved that happiness, perhaps more than anyone else on the planet. Spurred on by the attention and laughter, Kara continued to make a clicking noise as she took several mental snapshots. “Your smile, your laugh, the sun,” she listed off. “Life just doesn’t get anymore beautiful than in this moment, when I have you by my side.” Lena’s heart swelled as she let herself bask in Kara’s words and their honesty.

“I’m glad I can make you happy,” Lena replied honestly, leaning forwards to press a kiss to Kara’s cheek in a chaste, but emotional way.

“You have no idea,” she whispered as Lena pulled away, her blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight. Lena’s breath hitched as she realized just how beautiful this moment was - Kara laughing happily, her smile and her eyes. My god, it really didn’t get any better. She’d been waiting so long to see the woman she’d fallen in love with make a recurrence. And now? She was finally there. Kara was sitting a foot away from her, and Lena couldn’t help but feel completely elated.

“Concert is starting,” Lena whispered sadly, as the conductor and the musicians filed onto the stage.

“It’s okay, we have plenty of time to enjoy each other’s company. You can always jump me in the car later.” Kara choked out with a mischievous look in her blue eyes, and Lena was sent into another fit of raucous laughter as she received a quiet objection from the man on her other side, telling her to quiet down.

“You wish,” Lena replied in rebuttal, not able to stop the warm blush that gave her cheeks a very healthy looking glow. She took Kara’s hand in hers again, before turning to face forwards as the conductor addressed the audience. He talked briefly about the orchestra, the event, and what pieces they were intending to play. Sure enough, Lena was right. They were planning on playing Tchaikovsky’s sixth symphony, and one of his concertos. Lena watched with interest as violins, violas, cellos, bass, brass and winds, all started to tune to the same uniform pitch started by the first chair violinist. Over time it grew louder and louder as each section joined in. Finally, the conductor made a movement with his arm, and all sound stopped.

Kara looked around, stunned by the number of people around them. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect from the coming concerto. Don’t get me wrong, she’d listened to plenty of classical pieces since arriving on earth, but she wasn’t sure if she’d ever heard this particular piece before. She smiled as Lena gave her hand a squeeze, seemingly reassuring her that she was going to love it. A couple minutes passed by before the first notes were played. Immediately, Kara decided that the piece was absolutely beautiful. Her favorite instrument, by far, was the cello. Its tone was just so rich and beautiful that it never failed to take her her breath away. At some points during the piece, Kara actually closed her eyes and relaxed, just drinking in the sound of music wafting through the air around her. She could feel the sun on her face, and Lena’s warm hand in hers. Lena, too, seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. It had been a long time since she’d felt so relaxed. Every so often, Lena stole a glance at the woman next to her. Lena couldn’t help the smile that slipped onto her lips every time that she did. Sometimes, she caught Kara looking back at her, admiring the sight of her in the waning sunlight. Minutes of blissful happiness ticked by, and Lena couldn't help but think that they could get lost in the moment. After all, it was perfect. The weather, the comfort of being together, the music, it just didn’t get any better.

Lena watched each section of the orchestra. She let herself be amused by the way all of the violins seemed to play with a bouncy, exuberant, mindset. She loved the melody, or rather, the theme of the music. In fact, she had to restrain herself, in order to keep from humming along. Finally, the piece ended, and Lena let her eyes gravitate to Kara’s again. They shared another secretive smile. They stayed like this for the next minute. When the final note of the concerto echoed throughout the amphitheater, Lena tugged her hand from Kara's so that she could clap with the rest of the audience. Kara followed along, bringing her hands together in a bouncy, exuberant clap that reminded Lena of the violin players just a little too much. Kara turned to her. Lena nearly spoke, but caught herself at the last minute. No, she doesn’t want to tell her about what she’s about to hear. Kara noticed her partner’s torn expression, and decided to encourage her.

“So, what’s the story behind the symphony?” Kara asked quietly, underneath the sound of the clapping.

“What makes you think I know?” Lena replied, holding her gaze, as the the audience became silent once more.

“Because you’re a genius, and you're always going on about how everything has a story,” Kara said with a pointed look that nearly makes Lena laugh.

“You mean you really don’t know?” Lena replied with another question. 

“No,” Kara teased, her voice scarcely above a whisper, “Need I remind you that I am but a humble visitor on this planet?”

“Sorry,” Lena looked almost sheepish as she apologized. “Well,” she spoke after clearing her throat, “I’ll give you the short explanation.” Kara nodded, happy with her reply. “Okay, well, you know that Tchaikovsky’s sixth symphony is the last piece of music he ever wrote, right?” Lena asked her in a hushed voice.

“Yeah,” Kara responded quietly.

“Well,” Lena sighed, “Some people think that this piece of music was his way of leaving a suicide note if you will, without actually putting a single word down on paper.”

“Really?” Kara was stunned, not expecting it at all.

“Yeah. I mean, the way the music is written?” Lena spoke with a slight inflection in her voice, “Well, it really speaks to you. It really is like words without words. You’re a reporter, so I’m sure you can appreciate what a feat that is. It’s just… I’ve never heard anything as beautiful and heart wrenching as this piece of music. The music just seems to resonate within you. You feel it as surely as every emotion you’ll ever experience. I… I’m not exactly proud to say this, but I actually cried the first time I heard it. The fourth movement is just so powerful. If you listen carefully, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“So he died shortly after writing this?” Kara asked, wanting to know more.

“Yeah,” Lena nodded. “The reason people think that this piece is noteworthy is because he died very shortly after. He umm… He drank contaminated water in the middle of a cholera outbreak – back in a time and place where such a thing was basically a death sentence. Some people believe it was deliberate.”

“But it’s all mainly conjecture,” Kara pointed out in a statement. And she was right. It was all mainly speculation.

“Yeah, but…” Lena managed to catch herself.

“What?” Kara asked, wanting to know what Lena had been about to say.

“I was just thinking that I probably shouldn’t have told you all of this before you even heard the piece,” Lena replied in a hushed voice, “I guess what I’m trying to say, is that you should just listen to the music, Kara. Listen to it, and then when it’s over, you can tell me what you think about it and whether you believe there is more to it than meets the senses.” Kara nodded. Silence fell between them and all around them as the orchestra prepared to start. The symphony started off quietly with just the lower strings and the lower winds. Crescendos and swells of music added impact to the very quiet introduction and Kara immediately understood what Lena had been trying to say. She was right. There was more to it than she expected. As the higher strings and brass came in with the higher melody, the music also seemed to lighten up a little. Quickly, runs turned into a louder section of the first movement. As the higher strings and brass traded runs back and forth, Kara felt the tug of war between them. It pulled at her in ways she wasn't prepared for. She felt amazed by the piece. She just sat there watching the conductors arms cut through the air with precise, but smooth movements. Towards the middle, Kara lost herself in the repetitious melody. And after the tenth minute, as the tempo picked up greatly, Kara felt as if something was literally pulling at her heart. The flats and sharps seemed to give the piece great depth. It was angst, but in music form. The punctuated notes provided by the brass, specifically the trombones, French-horns and tubas, seem to offer a sense of great turmoil. The timpani rolls added exponentially to the distress, and gave it that much more depth. It destroyed her emotionally. Kara didn't know it was possible to feel so much, listening to a piece of music. She felt like she was being enlightened. It felt like finding a piece of herself - one that had been missing for a long time.

When they finally reached the third movement, Kara was surprised to hear that it had so very much life given to it. The tempo and melody, even though they are the same as in the early movements, are made to seem like a completely different piece. Again the melody is bouncy and vigorous. But this time it feels almost playful. Kara watched in fascination. When they finally heard the last notes climax and the final note was cut off with a flourish of the conductor’s hand, the notes seemed to echo around the gardens. Some people started to clap, but they didn't realize that the piece is not yet over. There was still the final movement to go. The conductor waited patiently for the applause to quietly fade, before he started the music again. Kara sat entranced, as the first angst filled notes filled the space around them. She couldn't help but feel, like she was in actual pain. Her heart ached at what she could only describe as a tragic melody. And it is tragic. It is tragic, because the man who wrote this, the brilliant composer who seemed to have such an incredible grasp and vision of music, had died far too young. To think of all of the great pieces he could have written, it just seemed so sad. Kara closed her eyes, now fully understanding everything Lena had told her just minutes ago. She couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like. After all, it seemed like the people who had such a grasp on beauty and art, were often the people who suffered the most, because they were the ones to see the world in a different light. Artists like Van Gogh, often fell victim to the world around them - a world that by all means could be very cruel.

Kara understood that pain, perhaps better than anyone else was equipped to deal with such emotions. She silently thought back to that night a couple weeks ago - a night when she had stopped fighting, a night when she’d been prepared to let go. It had taken her some time to realize it, but she’d wanted to let go. She’d wanted to die. She hadn’t spoken a word about it to anyone else, least of all Lena, but she could tell by the way that Lena was clinging to her hand so tightly right now, that Lena knew. Before she could stop them tears flooded and blurred Kara’s vision. Then they started to spill over and streak down her cheeks. She felt Lena squeeze her hand in hers. With a sniffle, Kara looked down, and frantically tried to wipe away her tears with her free hand.

Meanwhile, in the next seat over, Lena’s heart nearly stopped as she thought about what things would be like, in a world without Kara Danvers. Sure, she knew what it was like to have to go through one day after another without seeing her. But to truly be in a world where there was no Kara and she would never have the possibility to see her again? The thought made her feel sick. Lena silently thanked god - thanked  _Rao_  for looking out for Kara that night.

As the final gong hit sounded, and faded into silence, Kara finally managed to stop the tears. She felt Lena’s eyes on her, and kept her eyes away. She suddenly felt embarrassed. She swallowed, her eyes finding the sun now sinking quickly in the sky. She clapped her hands along with the countless others around her.

Minutes later, as people started to clear out, Kara let herself look at Lena.

“You okay?” Lena asked her in a quiet voice.

“Yeah, I am now,” Kara swallowed. "Thank you for being patient with me. I - I just needed a minute."

“I’m sorry,” Lena spoke softly, as she pulled Kara into an embrace. “I know it hurts.”

“It’s okay,” Kara breathed into her shoulder. “It just hit a little close to home. I’ve felt pain like that before. There was a time not too long ago, that I wished that I wasn’t so indestructible. I - I kind of wanted to die, or I should say that I didn't really  _care_ if I did.” Kara let out a hollow laugh. “God, I have to be the worst date ever, talking about this stuff.”

“No,” Lena told her honestly. “You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known, Kara. And the fact that you’ve felt emotion like that – the fact that you’ve felt pain like that just solidifies what I’ve always known. You’re human. You're human just like the rest of us. You just happen to have the knowledge of an entire civilization on your shoulders.”

“Can I share something with you?” Kara asked, as she noticed the sun making a rapid descent towards the horizon.

“I would be honored,” Lena told her, as Kara stood up and quickly helped Lena to her feet. She quickly led the way into the gardens, dragging along Lena in her wake. Lena followed after her, as quickly as she could in her heels. Lena frowned when they hit a dead end.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice was quiet as she spoke her love's name

“Do you trust me?” Kara asked her as she spun around.

“Of course,” Lena spoke with overwhelming conviction.

Kara pulled something out of her clutch and pressed it to Lena’s ear. She pressed a button and Lena heard a faint whine as the device was activated, forming a sort of force field around them both. “That’s just to help you breathe up there where there’s little atmosphere. It should also keep you from freezing to death.”

"Should?" Lena’s eyes never left Kara’s own, as the blonde stepped close and pulled Lena’s body against her own. Kara wrapped her arms tightly around Lena’s middle, and breathed into Lena’s ear.

“Close your eyes,” Kara ordered her in a gentle voice, and Lena instantly complied, “And don’t open them until I tell you to.” Lena felt momentarily weightless as she was lifted off the ground. Lena had to remind herself to breathe, as she felt the coolness of the wind against her bare arms – her shoulders as Kara flew them up, up, up. But Kara’s body was warm, pressed up against hers. It seemed like an eternity passed before she heard Kara’s whisper again, “You can open them now. But try not to look directly at the sun, if you can help it. It'll blind you in seconds.”

 _I'm here at the beginning of the end_  
_Oh, the end of infinity with you_  
_I'm here at the beginning of the end_  
_Oh, the end of infinity with you_  
_I'm done with having dreams_  
_The thing that I believe_  
_Oh, you drain all the fear from me_  
_I'm done with having dreams_  
_The thing that I believe_  
_You drain the fear from me_

Lena’s eyelids fluttered open, and she felt the air pushed from her lungs as she was met with the most beautiful sight imaginable. The sky was adorned with beautiful colors of all shades – pinks, purples, reds, oranges, and blues (like Kara’s eyes). The stratus clouds looked like a pillowy blanket spread across the earth, tens of thousands of feet below their bodies. Lena swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat, as she watched the sun vanish beneath the perceived horizon, while the earth's spin carried them away in the opposite direction. Lena could see farther across the globe than she ever had before. The horizon seemed to be hundreds of miles from where they floated, hovering far above the earth below.

“I’ve always wanted to share this with someone apart from Alex,” Kara told her. “But no one ever seemed worthy of such beauty, until – Until you.”

“Kara,” Lena spoke breathlessly. “I don’t even – I don’t even know what to say. It’s beautiful. It's unspeakably beautiful. There are no words to describe it.”

"I know," Kara expelled the air from her lungs. "Looking at satellite images is one thing, but seeing it with your own eyes - _experiencing_ it yourself is another." Lena gave Kara a squeeze, as she clung to her that much tighter. She couldn't believe that Kara had bestowed something so precious upon her. She knew that the things she was seeing with her eyes, would never be fully replicated. This was a one time deal, because every sunset was unique.

“This is another thing that reminds me of home – of Krypton. When I first came to earth, I would spend hours floating up here above the clouds, just searching for _Rao_. I fell in love with sunsets again, after thinking I would never be able to find beauty in them again. Sunsets there were so _different_ under Rao’s light, but still just as beautiful,” Kara spoke thoughtfully. “Unfortunately, I'll never get to share that part of me with you. You'll never get to see the way the spires looked against the twilight sky. I - I wish you could have seen Krypton in all its glory, but I guess…I guess that this will just have to do.”

“Kara,” Lena sighed. “This is perfect.” Lena looked up and gasped as she realized they were close enough to space that she could actually look up and see the stars and the moon. “I mean, god, I can see the stars. I can make out the craters on the moon's surface in a way I never have before. This - This is _incredible_. If I could, I would totally spend all of my time up here. I could go blind tomorrow, and it would be okay, because at least I would have _this_. I would have this memory.”

"That's the thing," Kara's jaw tightened. "Memories fade." Kara shook her head. "I used to be able to picture it. I used to be able to close my eyes and see Krypton with absolute clarity. In fact, I used to daydream about it all of the time. But over the last few years, those images have faded. It's getting harder and harder for me to remember all of the details - the things that made it home. I'm afraid of the day, in the not too distant future, when I will no longer be able to recall the sound of my father's voice."

"Kara," Lena's voice cracked as she felt Kara's shuddering breaths. "I understand that feeling well," Lena breathed, "I was only four when I lost my mom, so it's not quite the same, but I - I remember bits and pieces. Sometimes I dream of her, and I hear her voice, but I...I lose more pieces of her every day. That's - That's hard."

"I'm sorry," Kara apologized. "I forget just how well you can relate to what I'm going through." 

"It's okay," Lena assured her. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you. We can help each other remember. Anytime you want to talk about Krypton, or your parents, I would love to hear about them."

Kara's watch started beeping, “I’m afraid we’re almost out of time. We've already consumed most of the oxygen that we’ve been allotted.”

“Kara,” Lena’s voice was gentle as she asked. “Please, can’t we stay up here for another minute?”

“We can,” Kara nodded, “But only for another minute. I wouldn't want you to become hypoxic.”

“Look at me?” Lena pleaded, as she started to pull back. Kara readjusted her grip on Lena, so that she was in no danger of falling and looked into Lena’s eyes, granting her wish. “This has to be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me,” Lena confessed. "Thank you. Thank you for sharing this with me."

“I’m glad you liked it,” Kara told her with a warm smile. “Welcome to the mile-high club, Lena,” Kara joked, though her expression held a hint of smugness to it, “Or rather, welcome to the miles high club.”

“Oh my god. That’s _not_ what the mile high club is,” Lena burst out in raucous laughter. She laughed so hard that she felt stitches in her side where her muscles pulled at her ribs.

“It’s not?” Kara asked adorably, as her brows drew together. Lena could scarcely handle how adorable Kara's face looked with the crinkle between her eyes.

“Oh my god,” Lena honestly couldn’t breathe because she was laughing so hard. "You are so adorable sometimes. I forget you can be so innocent."

“Okay, well, if this isn't what the mile high club is, then what _is_ it?” Kara questioned.

“It’s when two people have sex on a plane, you dork,” Lena told her, as she let her head drop onto Kara's shoulder. She quickly pulled away again, however, to look up at Kara's face. She watched as Kara’s eyes instantly darkened. Lena let her words linger for a moment, then finally received proof they were understood when Kara’s mouth opened up in a small, ‘ _Oh_.’

“Kara,” Lena’s voice was barely detectable, as her eyes darted to Kara’s lips and then back up to her eyes. “This might seem a bit forward, but can I…?”

“Yes,” Kara breathed out, not even letting her finish her question. Lena's pulse-rate quickened as she saw Kara's tongue dart out in order to moisten her lips.

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask you,” Lena told her in mirth.

“Yes, I do. You were going to ask if you could kiss me,” Kara’s eyes twinkled. Kara glanced pointedly at her watch, “Now, if you want to kiss me while we’re up here, I would _highly_  suggest that you do so in the next thirty seconds.”

“It should _not_ be _that_ _easy_ to read my mind,” Lena pouted. 

“Lena,” Kara almost whined. Lena smiled, as she realized she had every intention of kissing her. She was going to do it. She was going to kiss Kara. Her throat suddenly grew dry as she thought about kissing Kara.

"If I kiss you, are you going to drop me?" Lena asked.

"There's no chance in hell that I would _ever_ drop you," Kara said seriously. "And besides, even if I did drop you for some reason, I would _always_ catch you again."

"You're not very good with the reassurances," Lena shot back. "You do realize that right? I was just looking for a simple yes or a no."

"No, I won't drop you," Kara told her confidently. "And now we have fifteen seconds."

"Kara," Lena sighed. "I'm not so sure about this."

"Hey, I have an idea," Kara said as a lightbulb went off. "Step on my feet," Kara commanded. 

"What?" Lena practically yelped.

"You know, like you used to do when you were a kid? When you were learning to dance?" Kara questioned. "Just step on top my feet. I promise that you won't hurt me."

"Kara," Lena still sounded hesitant.

"You said that you trust me," Kara said stubbornly. "So _trust_ _me_."

Lena carefully stepped onto the top of Kara’s feet, while Kara steadied her, and pulled herself closer. Lena struggled not to look down in that moment, just in case. Quickly, any space between them diminished. Kara closed her eyes, leaning into her, as she felt Lena's hold on her tighten. And when her eyes finally blinked back open, she discovered that there were only inches between them now. Lena’s hand slid up Kara’s chest, pressing there for a moment in order to feel Kara's thundering heartbeat.

"It's so strong," Lena breathed in amazement. "I've never felt a heartbeat as strong as yours."

"Lena," Kara breathed back.

Slowly, Lena's hand drifted upwards over the crest of Kara's shoulder, sliding over the juncture between her neck and shoulder, and around to the back of her neck, carefully pulling Kara forwards. She was all too aware that Kara was helping her along - was making an effort to remain pliant underneath Lena's touches, because there was just no way that Lena could have forced Kara to move otherwise. Lena tentatively leant forwards, pausing for a fraction of a moment, as centimeters separated them. Lena's hands were shaking as she touched Kara. Noses brushed together, forcing them both to suck in a soft gasp, but lips had yet to join. The anticipation was almost enough to drive them both crazy. It formed a yearning in both of their bodies as they both sought out one another. They'd both imagined what it would be like to kiss the other, perhaps even thousands of times, but nothing could come remotely close to the emotions they were both feeling now. The anticipation, was having a dramatic effect on them both. It felt like they'd already waited an eternity for this moment - for a moment that would irrevocably change everything.

“Lena,” the small puff of warm air on Lena’s lips, was enough to make her end their suffering.

Another second of hesitation passed, before Lena ultimately leapt into the unknown and let herself fall. Lena closed the remaining distance between them and pressed her lips to Kara's. Kara's eyelids fluttered shut, as she felt the world as she knew it, stop. Kara felt her breath stutter as she focused on the sensation of Lena's lips on her own.

Lena faintly felt Kara's fingers tangle in the strands at the back of her neck. She could feel the gentle tugs on those strands as they became wound around Kara's fingers, but all of her attention was on the sensation of Kara's indisputably soft lips moving against her own. The kiss wasn't as light or as tentative as she might have expected of a first kiss. It wasn't exactly patient, but it wasn't overly hungry either. It was tender and reverent, though It held just the right amount of urgency to it. It was passionate, but it was soft. She could tell that Kara was holding herself back, and Lena didn't want that, so she reached up to direct Kara. The kiss deepened, into something a little more uncontrolled - something a little more fervent, as Lena's hands scrabbled for a hold on Kara's strong shoulders. The sensation was unlike anything else Lena had ever experienced before. Lena realized silently that it was everything that a kiss was supposed to be. In fact, she felt it down to the very core of her being. Kara’s lips felt so right against her own. They were soft, softer than she could have ever imagined. Lena felt a sound pulled from the back of her throat, as she felt Kara faintly nibble on her bottom lip. It was a soft mewl of pleasure, though the moan slipped forth soon after, as Kara's other hand found her hip and tugged her closer.

Lena was suddenly on a mission to pull a moan from her lover's lips. Lena's tongue persistently and determinedly begged entrance into Kara's mouth, and Kara responded as her lips parted. It wasn't long before Kara was moaning into her mouth, as Lena's tongue pushed into Kara's mouth and found her love's tongue.  She was finally tasting Kara for the first time, and it was absolutely heavenly. She’d never experienced anything half as incredible as a kiss from Kara Danvers.  It felt like kissing a god. And boy, that thought made Lena's head spin.

When air became a necessity, Kara pulled back. Her eyes fluttered open, and found Lena's bright green orbs waiting for her own. Their chests heaved wildly against each other as they bought sought to catch their breath. They both felt as if they just ran a wind sprint. Kara’s heart was pounding just as hard and as fast as Lena's. The kiss between them was everything that Kara thought it would be and more. She'd never felt that kind of emotion, that kind of passion when she was kissing Mon-El, and that thought both terrified and exhilarated her. Kara knew that she was falling hard for the woman she was holding in her arms.

"Did you just call me a god?" Kara asked ruefully.

"What?" Lena felt her cheeks flush with color as Kara met her eyes. "What? No, of course not!"

"You said, and I quote, so that's what kissing a god feels like," Kara said through laughter, as she put air quotes around her words.

"Oh," Lena's voice was husky as she tried to speak, "I just meant... Oh, hell. I'm not getting out of this one, am I?"

"Lena, I'm not - I'm not a god," Kara said, her tone suddenly serious. "In fact, that word is kind of a trigger for me, so I would prefer it if you never called me that again."

"Kara, hey," Lena's voice was gentle as she lifted a palm to her cheek. "Look, I'm - I'm sorry. I didn't know that you felt that way. I promise I won't ever joke about it again, okay?"

"You know what's funny? The only reason I have any powers whatsoever, is because of Earth's yellow sun. It's radiation affects my cells differently. If Earth had a red sun like Rao, I would be perfectly ordinary. Hell, maybe _you_ would be the superhero."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Lena smirked. "Because I'm pretty sure you'd be a hero, no matter what the circumstances are. It's - It's just who you _are_ , Kara. That's part of why I love you. It's your spirit that makes you the hero. You could easily take away the rest of it, and you would still be inherently _good_. You would still try protect others, and would do everything you could to keep them safe because you cherish every life."

"Rao, I love you too," Kara declared. Lena opened her mouth to respond, but didn't get the chance to speak as Kara took Lena's lips with her own. However, this kiss was much shorter, and Kara was pulling away before they could get carried away. Lena protested, not wanting it to be over. She kissed a faint line along the contours of Kara's jaw, before slowly pulling back.

Kara’s eyes were so incredibly soft, as they fluttered open again. Lena’s breathing hitched slightly as one of her hands slipped around to Kara's back, and she pulled her ever closer. They were breathing the same air now, and Lena could feel every puff of warm air on her face, as surely as Kara felt hers. The alarm on Kara’s watch started going off, and Lena knew that their time was up.

"Our time is up," Kara announced.

"I don't want to go back," Lena confessed. "I just - I want to stay up here with you."

"I know," Kara breathed, gently. "Me too."

“Come on,” Kara smiled gently, “I’ll take you home.”

“But…”

"I promise that this won't be the last time I bring you up here, Lena," Kara promised. "I'll bring you up here anytime you wish. Hell, I'd fly you around the entire world, if it would make you happy."

"Promise?" Lena questioned. It was eerily reminiscent of the question she'd asked on her couch all of those months ago.

"I promise," Kara told her with a flash of her eyes.

"I told my driver we required a ride home," Lena told her thoughtfully.

“You can text him, and tell him you got a ride from someone else,” Kara said knowingly. 

“Okay,” Lena smiled.

“Hold on tight,” Kara implored her. Lena wrapped one arm around Kara’s left side, just below her arm, and the other over Kara’s right shoulder, squeezing as hard as she could. “It’s okay,” Kara reassured her, “I would never drop you.”

“I know,” Lena told her. "I know you wouldn't." Then. "Is it okay if I close my eyes? I don't necessarily want to see the ground coming up at us."

"Of course."

Within minutes, Kara was carefully setting her down on her balcony. Lena held onto Kara, as she tried to get used to the feeling of being on the ground again. She was still slightly breathless from all of the adrenaline coursing through her body, and her legs felt somewhat unsteady beneath her. Kara sensed this too, and so she didn't let go of Lena's middle. Her arm remained wrapped resolutely around Lena's waist, holding Lena against. Lena was amazed at how solid Kara felt against her. Kara was all muscle.

"You okay?" Kara asked. "You dizzy?"

"No," Lena shook her head. "No, I'm fine now, thank you." Kara reluctantly loosened her hold and let Lena stand on her own.

Kara’s cheeks flushed with color, as Lena asked, “Would you like to come in?” Sure, it could have been the cold that was affecting Kara. But she knew that Kara didn't exactly get cold.

“I – I really shouldn’t,” Kara spoke hesitantly, as she reached up a hand to paw at the back of her neck. She really didn't want Lena to think that she was rejecting her. But she believed in her heart and her soul that she was doing the right thing. “I really want to take things slowly between us. And I really want to do things right by you, Lena, because you deserve it.”

“I understand,” Lena nodded. “I had a really fantastic time with you, Kara. I know that things kind of started off on a unusual note, but I’m glad we went.”

“Me too,” Kara said as she stepped forwards. With certain gentleness, she reached up and tucked a wayward strand behind Lena’s ear, letting her finger trace a line down Lena’s neck as she did so. “I’d love to do this again sometime,” Kara confessed.

“Me too,” Lena smiled. Kara’s eyes raked across her shoulders as Lena shivered. The cool air of the night was starting to have an affect on her.

“Well, I should let you get inside,” Kara told her, as she pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of Lena’s mouth, and then made as if to leap from her balcony. “Have a good night, Lena.”

“Wait,” Lena protested as she grabbed a hold of Kara’s hand.

"What?" Kara asked mischievously, knowing exactly what she was doing to her.

“You call that a kiss?”

Kara spun back around to face her. She was curious to see whether she could hold out long enough to motivate Lena to make the first move. It worked. Lena grew impatient. Her breathing stopped as Lena stepped forwards. A hand brushed along her cheekbone and slid effortlessly around the back of Kara's neck. The shorter woman pulled, tugging her into a hungry kiss. She moaned as Lena tugged on her bottom lip, causing it to sting ever so slightly, though there was no danger that she would ever tear open the plush surface. Even Kara’s lips were made of steel, it seemed. Just as suddenly, Lena ran her tongue along the bottom edge to sooth the sting away.

Kara’s mouth drifted open greedily and Lena’s tongue slid effortlessly into her mouth, exploring the contours of her mouth. Kara vaguely felt Lena’s hand on her hip, pulling her body closer, as if she could ward off the chill seeping into her bones. Kara was more than happy to warm her, by any means necessary.

Lena didn’t let herself feel guilty for stealing the air from her lungs. She could never get enough of Kara, and knew it was likely that it would never change. There was something about Kara’s kiss that was so unbelievably addicting. It haunted her. She felt like she’d finally found her soul mate after decades of searching. But how? How could Kara be hers? Could people from different planets – different universes be each other’s soulmate?

Kara pulled away, trying to catch her breath. Lena, too, felt completely breathless as Kara’s forehead brushed against her own.

“You’re far too good at that for your own good,” Kara told her, through her harsh breaths.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Lena chuckled. “In fact, I'm pretty sure that you’re the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

“I should really go before you break down my resolve,” Kara joked. “Plus, I really need to get some sleep.”

“Then go,” Lena told her after stealing one final chaste kiss. “And have sweet dreams, my darling Kara. Because I, for one, know you’ll be in mine.” Lena was pretty sure she heard and audible groan as Kara threw herself from the balcony, and flew off into the night.

 _'Cause you're the last of a dying breed_  
_Write our names in the wet concrete_  
_I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me_  
_I'm here in search of your glory_  
_There's been a million before me_  
_That ultra-kind of love_  
_You never walk away from_  
_You're just the last of the real ones_


	10. Delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara shows up at Lena's apartment in the middle of the night after she has issues sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit.
> 
> Hey, guys! I am happy to post this next chapter of my story! It's sort of filler between what just happened and what comes next, but it's also significant to the story. I hope you like it!
> 
> Thanks, as always, for all of the love and support. I'm floored by the response this has gotten as my very first venture into the Supergirl and Supercorp universe. 
> 
> Some of you asked about the italicized stuff that I include in each chapter. They're actually song lyrics that I've used for my inspiration. I feel like they help me tell my story, and so I try to include them, if I feel like it doesn't detract from my writing. 
> 
> For instance, the lyrics from this particular chapter, are from a song of the same title. "Delicate," by Taylor Swift. It's a beautiful song, and I would recommend giving it a listen!

_This ain't for the best_  
_My reputation's never been worse, so_  
_You must like me for me..._  
_We can't make_  
_Any promises now, can we, babe?_  
_But you can make me a drink..._

Lena grumbled as she awoke to the loud, incessant buzzing of her doorbell. Her eyes darted to the clock on top of her bedside table in search of the time, and with a pang she realized she couldn’t make out the numbers through her blurred vision. She was blind without her contacts. With another audible groan, Lena rolled over and groped across the table’s smooth surface for her glasses. She actually let out a punctuated, “Fuck,” when she miscalculated and knocked the black frames sideways. From there, gravity took over and they tumbled onto the soft carpet below. Lena reached down for them, but her weight carried her down, and she fell onto the floor with a soft thud.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Lena groused, as she finally plucked up the frames, and slid them on her face. She turned back around to face the clock, and had to blink several times before she was able to make the numbers out clearly. Another growl passed from her lips as she realized exactly what time it was. All the while, the buzz at the door continued.

With another groan, she climbed back up into her bed. She picked up one of the pillows from the head of her bed, rolled over, and covered her head with it as she sank deeper down into the bed. She was hoping that whoever was at the door would get the hint and go away. She had no such luck. The loud buzzes, although they were somewhat muffled through the fabric of her pillow, were still loud enough to be heard clearly. She finally pulled off the pillow and chucked it back to its place before throwing back the covers. As she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and stood. On her way out of the bedroom she grabbed her service weapon from the top drawer of her dresser and padded for the elevator. She walked down the short hallway and into the great-room. Her penthouse was designed with an open floor plan, meaning that one room flowed into another. There was no clear boundary between the kitchen or the living room, and Lena liked that about the place. The only rooms that were separate from the rest of the floor were the master bedroom, and the master bath. As she padded towards the elevator, Lena held her service weapon pointed towards the floor, with the safety still on. She didn’t know why, but ever since she’d heard her mother had been spotted in the country, she never felt quite safe.

Now that she had Kara on speed dial, she felt a lot safer. But Lena realized that even Kara had limitations when it came to dealing with Cadmus and her mother. If Lena had any say in the matter, she intended to keep Kara as far away from her mother and Cadmus as possible. Her mother had proven time and time again, that she would not hesitate to hurt, or even kill Kara, and Lena was terrified that loving her was going to get Kara killed.

 _Dive bar on the east side, where you at?_  
_Phone lights up my nightstand in the black_  
_Come here, you can meet me in the back_  
_Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you_  
_Oh damn, never seen that color blue_  
_Just think of the fun things we could do_

Lena padded over to the elevator, and glanced at the multi-camera display that she’d had installed as an increased security measure. She felt her throat constrict as she took in the sight of a plain-clothed Kara, standing at the front door of the building twenty stories below. Lena suddenly wondered what had happened. After all, their parting earlier in the night had seemed final. And now, without any warning, Kara was standing outside her building at four in the morning. Lena reached up to the buzzer with her free hand, and hit the button.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice was still heavy with sleep, but held a hint of warmth to it, nonetheless, “Hey! What are you doing here?” Sure, she was grouchy at being woken up in the middle of the night, but she knew without a doubt, that Kara must have a good reason for doing so. Lena couldn’t be mad at her.

“I – I’m sorry if I woke you,” Kara said, as she wrung her hands in unease. “I know it’s late. I just,” Kara trailed off, sounding momentarily lost, before ultimately finding her voice again. “I really needed to see you.”

“Just a second,” Lena told her, as she looked down at her state of dress - or rather her state of undress, “I’ll be right down.” Lena rushed back into the bedroom, and into her walk-in closet, pulling out her fine silk robe. She slipped it onto her shoulders and cinched it about the waist. She rushed back down the hall and around the periphery of the great-room to the elevator. She opened the door to her private elevator, walked inside, and hit the button for the lobby. She rode it down to the main floor. As she stepped out of the elevator, she looked around the lobby, making sure there were no prying eyes. As she suspected, the lobby was deserted. The rest of the building was likely asleep.

She moved quickly across the cold, stone floor, while silently wondering what on earth was going on. With trembling hands, she slid back the chain and unfastened it, before unlocking the dead bolt. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes for a long moment, hoping that she didn’t screw things up somehow. Finally, when she was satisfied by her overall sense of calmness, she pulled the door open with her service piece still clutched in her other hand.

“You do realize that you could have just let yourself in,” Lena lectured with a teasing tone as she threw open the door with a flick of her wrist. “Don’t you?” Lena’s voice fell away as she truly looked at Kara for the first time. She looked like hell. Lena visibly flinched as she saw the remnants of hurt on Kara’s features. The blonde was soaked to the bone.

“I didn’t feel right about doing that,” Kara shook her head. “I didn’t want to just show up in your apartment, lest you think that someone was trying to kill you.” Kara’s eyes found the service weapon in Lena’s hand. “Besides, I know you keep the gun close by. I didn’t want you to shoot me.”

“You’re bullet-proof,” Lena pointed out.

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Kara sighed. “I don’t want our relationship to start off on the wrong foot. Mon-El tried to kill me a couple times, and I never fully got over that.”

“Kara,” Lena breathed. “I hope you know that I would _never_ hurt you.” Lena watched as something transformed in Kara’s eyes. Tears were building there, and Lena felt her heart clench. “So,” Lena opened her mouth to ask Kara what was wrong – to ask her what she was doing there, but Lena never got the chance as Kara practically surged forwards, and kissed her desperately. She latched onto the sides of Lena’s face, holding it gently but assertively between her ice-cold hands. Kara clung to her, and kissed her harder than she ever had before. Then, she pulled back.

“You’re not going to shoot yourself in the foot, are you?” Kara questioned.

“I’ll have you know. The safety is on,” Lena told her. “I won’t be shooting anything.”

 _'Cause I like you_  
_This ain't for the best_  
_My reputation's never been worse, so_  
_You must like me for me..._  
_Yeah, I want you_  
_We can't make_  
_Any promises now, can we, babe?_  
_But you can make me a drink..._

“Good,” Kara spoke before diving back in. Lena felt a sound pulled from her lips, as Kara ravaged her right there in the middle of the lobby. Lena isn’t proud of it, but as she focused on the dizzying sensation of Kara’s soft lips on her own, she lost her grip on the cool and heavy metal of the object clutched in her right hand. The handgun dropped to the floor with an echoing clatter.

She felt Kara’s lips stutter against her own, as she blonde’s attention was drawn to the gun. Before Kara even had a chance to dwell on what had just happened, Lena reached up to grab a hold of Kara’s sweater, pulling the blonde closer. Lips connected again in a searing kiss. It was almost haunting, as she felt emotions behind the kiss. There was a darkness lingering there in Kara’s kiss. Lena broke it.

“What happened?” she had to ask. But Kara didn’t want to answer. She knew that for sure, when Kara tried to pull her into another kiss. Lena knew that Kara was avoiding the truth. After all, Lena was the queen of avoidance. She’d gotten quite good at it, over the years. But she knew that she wasn’t doing her lover any favors, helping Kara avoid what needed to be addressed. Lena let herself be dominated for a fraction of a moment, before she pushed the blonde away. She was stubborn, unrelenting, as she pushed at Kara’s immovable body. Kara stepped back with a look of hurt on her face.

 _Is it cool that I said all that?_  
_Is it chill that you're in my head?_  
_'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)_  
_Is it cool that I said all that_  
_Is it too soon to do this yet?_  
_'Cause I know that it's delicate_  
_Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?_  
_Isn't it?_  
_Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?_  
_Isn't it?_  
_Delicate_

“Lena,” Kara’s voice was apologetic, when she finally spoke.

“Don’t,” Lena told. “Don’t use me to avoid things, Kara. Look, I’m honored that I can make you feel better. I’m glad that I can shield you from the worst of it, but sooner or later those emotions are going to come back. And they’re going to come back stronger next time.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara’s voice was weaker, and more defeated than usual, “I’ll go.” Her voice choked on the last word, forcing her to swallow over the obstacle in her throat.

“No!” Lena told her, as she grabbed a hold of Kara’s hand and held onto it with a hell of a grip. “I – I wasn’t telling you to go.”

“But I thought that you,” Kara’s voice held a hint of frustration to it. “You seemed angry with me just now.”

“No,” Lena shook her head. “I’m not angry. I’m just trying to help… I was trying to get you to open to me,” she whispered in a soft, tired sigh of her own.

“Oh,” the muscles of Kara’s larynx bobbed as the blonde swallowed.

“At this point, I just need to know if you’re okay,” Lena continued, “I mean, not to sound overly critical, but it looks like you just went for a swim in the bay, Kara. You're soaked through.”

“You wouldn’t be far off on that one actually,” Kara replied, with a wry glint in her eyes. Wanting to maintain that sense of normalcy between them, she made a show of rolling her eyes in annoyance, although in her heart she was far from it.

“You’re supposed to be resting, Kara,” Lena pointed out, “That was the deal, wasn’t it? You were going home to rest.”

“I know, but something came up,” Kara’s voice held a hint of protest to it, as she defended herself. “There was a cutter that capsized in the bay. They needed help. After all, who was going to be there to help the Coast Guard when they needed help?”

“The Navy?” Lena shot back smartly.

“Nice try,” Kara chuckled, “but no. The answer I was looking for was Supergirl. They needed my help.”

“Kara,” Lena sighed.

“Besides, I – I couldn’t sleep,” Kara admitted as she looked away. "I was just lying in bed, going insane. I figured I might as well make myself useful."

“How long has this been going on, Kara?” Lena questioned, as she realized the implications of Kara's words. “When is the last time you’ve gotten a good night sleep?”

“Uh,” Kara hesitated. She reached up to paw at her neck, as she scuffed her shoes against the floor. And this time, Lena felt annoyed by the gesture, rather than finding it endearing.

“Just answer the question, Kara,” Lena ordered in exasperation. “I need the truth. Don’t try to evade the question, don’t try to lie, and don’t try and cover it up somehow. Just tell me the god’s honest truth.” Then, Lena repeated her earlier question. “When is the last time you slept through the night?”

“The night I practically drank myself into oblivion,” Kara admitted in a small voice. Lena sucked in a sharp breath, as she realized how long ago that was. “I think that is the last night I got more than a couple hours of sleep in a row.”

“And before that?” Lena pressed, needing to know more.

“The night before the Daxamite Invasion,” Kara admitted. “It’s been a couple of months now, and at first I could just sort of power through it. I could trick myself into feeling okay, if I got lots of sun. But it’s been getting a lot worse. I’m feeling it now more than ever. The nightmares are - they’re getting worse. It’s getting to the point where I’m afraid to close my eyes. I don’t know what to do, Lena.” This was what Lena had been afraid of.

“Does anything help?” Lena asked her, as she gave Kara’s hand a squeeze.

“You,” Kara’s voice was so soft it was almost undetectable. “That’s sort of why I showed up here. Somehow your presence helps me. Your heartbeat is a lot like Alex’s. It’s comforting and familiar, and I just… I thought that maybe if I was close enough to you that I could finally sleep. I don’t even have to sleep in the same room. Hell, I could probably sleep on the balcony if you don’t want me here. I would understand it if-” Lena’s breaths came in spurts as she felt Kara’s words in her gut. She almost wanted to laugh. Because if she was being honest, she slept better with Kara nearby, too. She wanted to be with Kara, always. She wanted to go to sleep next to her, and wake up next to her. She wanted to spend every possible minute with Kara.

“Come on,” Lena interrupted her, as she tugged on Kara’s hand. She'd heard enough to make an informed decision. And if she was being honest, she couldn’t listen to Kara’s dejected rambling any longer. She was too tired for that. “Let’s go.”

“What?” Kara’s head swiveled back to Lena’s own. Their eyes found each other, and held the contact.

“We’re going to bed,” Lena told her determinedly, “You and I.”

“But…”

Lena quickly picked up her gun from the floor, and shoved it into the pocket of her robe.

“No, buts,” Lena shook her head. “I know your feelings on the matter. I know that you wanted to give me space now that we’re dating, but frankly? I don’t really care about all of that stuff. What I _do care about_ is the fact that you haven’t been sleeping…that you haven’t slept in a long time. It’s not healthy for humans to go so long without adequate sleep, Kara, and although I’m sure your physiology isn’t as affected by it as humans are, I also know that it is necessary for all life forms. Your brain needs sleep to forge new connections and pathways…to create new memories. A lack of sleep could interfere in your duties as Supergirl, and could even put your life in danger. So we’re going to fix that.” Lena continued. “You said that sleeping with me helps. It relaxes you. So you are going to come upstairs with me right now. And we,” Lena gestured between the two of them, “Are going to go back to bed. Because I, for one, am very _very_ tired.”

“Lena,” Kara sighed, “I…I really don’t think-”

Kara started to argue, but Lena silenced her. Kara yelped as Lena turned around and quickly closed the distance between them. “Did it sound like I was asking?” Lena questioned with an arch of her brow, and a look of determination on her face. Lena’s jaw tightened as Kara’s eyes met her own. It wasn’t fair how beautiful Kara looked to her right now. Apparently she wasn’t alone in noticing.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re sexy when you boss people around?” Kara questioned. “Cause I’m a little turned on right now.” Her eyes looked nearly black as she looked into Lena's, due to Kara's blown pupils. 

“Is that so?” Lena asked, looking more than a little proud of herself that she could elicit such a reaction in Kara.

“Yes, more than a little turned on,” Kara’s voice betrayed this arousal as she responded; her voice sounded deeper than Lena was used to. Lena’s eyes darkened somewhat as her body responded to the sound of Kara’s voice. This was not good. They were about to be in the same bed together, and she – She should not be getting worked up like this.

“Bed, now,” Lena ordered as she, tugged on Kara’s hand.

Kara opened her mouth again to protest, unwilling to give up so easily, but Lena didn’t give her the chance. This time, she silenced her with a forceful kiss to the lips; something that she’d wanted to do so very much. Lena’s tongue pushed into Kara’s mouth, and she moaned as Kara fought back with her own aggressive ministrations. Lena audibly groaned as Kara pushed her up against the door by the elevator. The kiss lasted quite long, so long in fact, that Lena secretly hoped she had lowered Kara’s defenses. When they finally did part, Kara tried not to look too surprised.

 _Third floor on the west side, me and you_  
_Darling, your mansion with a view_  
_Do the girls back home touch you like I do?_  
_Long night, with your hands up in my hair_  
_Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs_  
_Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share_

“You should _not_ be so good at that,” Lena told her.

Their relationship had gone through so many ups and downs lately, she never knew what to expect. Kara closed her eyes, her hands tangling in Lena’s hair, as she pulled her into another. Lena couldn’t keep the moan from escaping her as she started savoring the gentle movements of Kara’s tongue in her mouth. She felt Kara’s fingers rake gently through her hair. Her chest was starting to feel unbearably tight, as her Kara kept her from breathing.

When she couldn’t bear it anymore, Lena finally wrenched her mouth away and broke the kiss. Her chest bobbed up and down under Kara’s fingertips. Carefully, Lena reached up and straightened Kara’s collar, with a look of adoration on her face. Kara had a flashback to a day not so long ago in Lena’s office, when Lena had fixed her shirt like she was doing now. The smile on her lips that day had left little doubt as to whether she cared for Kara as more than just a friend.

 _'Cause I like you_  
_This ain't for the best_  
_My reputation's never been worse, so_  
_You must like me for me_  
_Yeah, I want you_  
_We can't make_  
_Any promises now, can we, babe?_  
_But you can make me a drink_

Both of them became distracted as a door creaked open, and a woman stepped out into the lobby, with a pack of smokes clutched in her hand. She walked towards the door, and Lena tugged Kara out of the way. Kara’s eyes never left her, as she approached them. Kara gulped as she noticed how similar this complete stranger looked so much like her mother – like her Aunt Astra. She looked younger, maybe, but there were so many similarities. Her eyes were the same, and so was her wavy brown hair. Her cheeks were a little different, a little more sunken maybe, but still, the resemblance was uncanny. Kara stopped breathing altogether, as flashes of her aunt and her mother played through her mind like a miniature movie. Emotions surged to the surface, things that Kara had spent a long time trying to tamp down. She’d shoved a lot of those feelings into the recesses of her mind, and made a concentrated effort not to touch them. It was all for naught, however, because they were all coming back now.

“Morning,” she greeted Lena with a smile.

“Hey, Ashley,” Lena greeted back, warmly. “Still haven’t quit, huh?”

“I’m working on it,” Ashley laughed. “I know it’s a nasty habit, but sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane.”

“I can understand that,” Lena swallowed.

“Who is this?” Ashley asked excitedly, as she noticed Kara.

“Oh, this is Kara,” Lena introduced her. “She’s a good friend of mine.”

“Oh!” Ashley’s eyes lit up. “Well, it’s nice to meet you.” She thrust a hand in Kara’s direction, but Kara made no move to take it. She was too busy staring through her, and into the wall behind her.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice was the first thing to make it through her thoughts. Kara quickly jolted back to life, shaking her head as she took in the scene in front of her. Ashley was waiting patiently, amiably, with her hand held out in front of her. Kara quickly took Ashley’s hand in her own. She gave it a vigorous shake, and Ashley laughed.

“Dang,” she laughed, “You’ve got a hell of a grip. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“I –“ Kara’s cheeks heated with embarrassment, and she let go of Ashley’s hand abruptly. She looked almost sheepish as she whispered. “Sorry.”

“It’s no problem,” Ashley spoke good-naturedly as she made a show of shaking out her hand. “It was nice to meet you, Kara.”

“You too,” Kara reciprocated. Her voice sounded flat, as she was plunged into another memory of Astra.

Ashley turned back to Lena. “It was good seeing you, Lena.”

“You too,” Lena supplied, as Ashley pushed her way outside. Kara stared after her with a peculiar look on her face. Lena struggled to make sense of it. Kara suddenly looked undeniably pale. This did not go unnoticed by Lena.

“Kara?” Lena called her name gently, once, twice. Then she tried again. “Kara!”

“What?” Kara’s eyes flew to her own. Her crystalline blue eyes looked glassy as they met Lena’s.

“Hey,” Lena’s voice was gentle. “What’s wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“It’s nothing,” Kara shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“Kara,” Lena frowned as she saw Kara swallow. Lena noticed with a pang that Kara wasn’t really breathing. “Kara, hey,” Lena grabbed Kara by the face, and directed the blonde’s eyes to her own. “Look at me,” Lena ordered.

“I am,” Kara whispered. “I _am_ looking at you.”

“No, you don't seem to understand. You’re looking at me,” Lena pointed out, “But you’re not _seeing_ me. _See_ me, Kara. I'm right here.” Kara blinked, once, twice, and then she was back. Lena watched as the look in Kara’s eyes slowly dissipated. And after a few beats of her heart, Kara was looking at her with undeniable clarity. She peered deep into Lena’s emerald eyes, and started breathing again, drawing staggering breaths into her lungs.

“Where were you?” Lena questioned.

“I…,” Kara spoke truthfully, “With my Aunt. I was reliving a memory of my Aunt.”

“Why?” Lena pressed.

“You said it looked like I just saw a ghost,” Kara recalled, “Well, I did. Ashley looks a lot like her. She’s younger than my Aunt, sure, but she looks just like Astra and my mother did when they were younger.”

“Kara,” Lena honestly didn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay,” Kara told her. “Thank you. Thank you for bringing me back.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Lena offered.

“You’re already doing it,” Kara said gently. “You’re... You're amazing, Lena.”

“I love you,” Lena said as she leant forwards, bringing their foreheads together.

“I love you, too,” Kara breathed. Lena pulled back. She took Kara by the hand again, and led her into the elevator. Together, they rode the elevator up, and Lena quietly led Kara to the bedroom, never letting go Kara’s hand.

 _Is it cool that I said all that?_  
_Is it chill that you're in my head?_  
_'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)_  
_Is it cool that I said all that_  
_Is it too soon to do this yet?_  
_'Cause I know that it's delicate_  
_Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?_  
_Isn't it?_  
_Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?_  
_Isn't it?_  
_Delicate_

“Sit,” Lena ordered as she practically coaxed Kara down onto the edge of the bed. She quickly disappeared for a few minutes, but came back with two mugs full of warm milk clutched in her hands. She handed Kara one of them and sat down next to her, turning her body slightly so that she was facing her.

“Thanks,” Kara offered her a wan smile.

“You’re welcome,” Lena smiled as she pressed a hand to Kara’s thigh, over the fabric of her pants. “This always used to help me sleep when I was younger, so I figured it was worth a try.” Kara nodded, wordlessly.

“So, we never _did_ talk about what happened yesterday, before our date,” Lena broached the topic with as much tact she possibly could.

Kara took a sip of the warm beverage, trying to buy some time to form her words. She set the mug on the bedside table and then let her head drop into her hands. She let out a ragged breath. “Kara,” Lena sighed, “Look, I want to be there for you. I want to help. I really do, but I can’t unless you _let_ me.” Lena swallowed, her heart clenching painfully. “I…I love you.” Those three words were enough to coax Kara out of her defeated stance. As she turned towards her, Lena’s hand reached out to brush against her cheek. Kara closed her eyes, leaning into the gesture.

“The reason I got called away was because the DEO got wind of some important Intel. The President ordered us to move on it, and so we implemented a series of raids in tandem with teams on the East Coast.” Kara explained. “The teams Alex and I were leading were fortunate enough to come out of it without any fatalities, but some of the others weren’t so lucky. One of the teams walked into a slaughter. I flew there as quickly as I could, but I couldn’t make it in time. I can _never_ seem to make it in time.”

“Kar,” Lena’s voice was gentle as she spoke her name.

“It’s not my fault,” Kara spoke the words, though Lena wasn’t sure if Kara actually believed them.

“It’s not,” Lena confirmed.

"I know it's not my fault, but -" Kara's voice trailed off into nothingness. Lena could see that Kara was blaming herself. "It always feels like I should be doing more. I may be one of the most powerful people on the planet - my abilities might be unparalleled, but even so I can never seem to fight hard enough, or fly fast enough. When Alex was taken all those months ago, I thought I could punch my way out of it, but one of the things I couldn't do? Is fight my way out of it. And as much as I wish I could, I can't turn back time. I can't go back and fix my mistakes. I can't go back in time, and prevent the people I care about from being hurt.  Instead, I have to try and find a way to live with it."

"Kara," Lena's voice was concerned as she took in everything that Kara was talking to her. "What do you mean? When was Alex kidnapped?"

"Remember the phone call, when I told you it wasn't a good time?" Kara reminded her. "I was in the middle of trying to find her. An old classmate of ours kidnapped her. He knew I was Supergirl, and he wanted me to release his father from maximum security prison in exchange for her life. I thought I could find her. I thought that I could outsmart him somehow, but he'd had months to plan everything. I had hours to try and figure everything out. She nearly died. If I had been a few minutes later, she would have drowned."

"My god, Kara," Lena gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What was I supposed to say?" Kara questioned. Lena swallowed as she realized that she couldn't answer that question.

“Anyhow, going back to last night. I - I didn’t want to go in. Like you, I had a bad feeling in my stomach,” Kara informed her. “But it wasn’t my call.”

"I heard their screams," Kara shook herself out of the memory. "I could hear them over comms. I could hear as each one of their lives were snuffed out, one by one."

“They were hundreds of miles away,” Kara whispered. “I’d never even met some of them, but they…they feel like family. They spent their lives trying to make the world a better place, a safer place, and they were willing to give their lives for that. That should mean something…”

“It does mean something,” Lena promised her.

“Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair,” Kara continued. “Why am I the invincible one? Why should I be the one left standing in the rubble, while others lay down their lives and die?”

Lena opened her mouth to speak, but Kara cut her off. “And don’t tell me it’s because I’m good. Don’t tell me that it’s because I deserve to be here. Because that’s a lie.”

“It’s not a lie, if I believe it,” Lena shot back. “Don’t be angry with me for the things I feel, Kara. Don’t be angry with me for telling the truth.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized as she pulled Lena into a hug. She spoke right into Lena’s ear in a defeated voice, “You’re right. That was not fair of me.” Kara's breath was so warm against the skin of her neck, and Lena could not help the shiver that shot up her spine, nor the warmth that seemed to be spreading out from where Kara’s hands touched her body. Kara carefully pulled back.

“Can we go to bed now?” Kara asked.

“Of course,” Lena replied without any hesitation whatsoever, though the thought of sleeping in bed next to Kara was making her heart race.

“Is there something I can borrow to wear?”

“Yeah, of course,” Lena replied, as she stood up and set her mug down next to Kara’s. She walked over to the dresser and pulled out a heather top, and a pair of leggings from its drawers. “You need some underwear, too?”

“What?” Kara sputtered. “Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly…”

“You could,” Lena countered, “I have some pairs that I’ve never even worn before.” Lena pulled one of them from the top drawer, and walked back over. Kara’s hands trembled slightly as she reached up to take them from Lena.

“The bathroom is just through there,” Lena told her as she inclined her head towards the door in question. Kara stood up and moved for the bathroom, letting herself inside. She shut the door, with a soft click and set about methodically stripping from her clothes. She tossed them onto the counter. Then, she began the tedious process of taking off her Supersuit, and tossed it in its many pieces, over an empty towel rack in the corner in order to dry. Kara pulled on the lacy panties, shuddering involuntarily as she thought about Lena wearing something similar. Kara had no problem pulling on the leggings, but ran into issues when she tried to pull on the shirt Lena had given her. It was too tight, and Kara was worried about tearing it. She tried to take it back off, but ran into issues as it became tangled around her arms and twisted about her head.

“Uh, Lena?” Kara called out.

Lena tapped on the door. “Yeah, Kara, you called?”

“I – Yeah,” Kara sputtered, “I’m having some issues.”

“Is it okay for me to come in?” Lena asked.

“That depends. If you’re okay with seeing a little skin, then sure,” Kara laughed. She turned towards the door as Lena pushed it open. Lena suddenly forgot how to breath, as the sight of Kara tangled in her shirt hit her like a punch to the stomach. She could literally see every one of Kara’s chiseled abs. Her eyes hungrily followed every dip, every curve of Kara's spectacular body, before she realized that she had come in there for some purpose. But, my god, Kara's body was flawless. Lena felt her heart stutter as her eyes passed over several scars that riddled such perfection. Lena had to suppress the urge to reach out and run her fingers over them. She'd never ached to touch someone so badly before.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I'm afraid that any move of mine is going to leave this shirt in tatters,” Kara explained. "I don't want to ruin it."

"Oh," Lena felt her throat close up on her.

"Will you help?" Kara's voice was slightly muffled through the fabric of the shirt draped over Kara's head.

“Of course, let me - Let me help you,” Lena reached for the fabric. She grabbed hold of it in her hands, trying to ignore the shocks that traveled through her body as the backs of her hands, grazed against Kara's heated skin. It felt igneous beneath her hands. Slowly, she tugged the fabric upwards, and the fabric reluctantly parted from Kara’s skin. Lena tossed it onto to the counter, and looked back. She was unprepared for the moment that Kara's gaze slammed into her own. “I don’t know why I gave you that one. I should have known it would be too tight on you.”

"Lena," Kara's voice was gentle as she saw the unrestrained lust in Lena's bright green eyes. "See something you like?" Kara's eyes held a bit of mischief to them - her jaw a smug grin.

"Oh, you're positively evil!" Lena burst out as she caught Kara at it. "Did you even need my help at all?"

"Of course I did!" To which Lena's response was a loud snort. Is was clear that Lena did not believe her at all.

"Oh, come on," Kara rolled her eyes. "You're the one that gave me a shirt that was three sizes too small. This isn't my fault!"

"It is too," Lena burst out. Her eyes flashed in exasperation.

"And how is it my fault exactly?" Kara asked her curiously.

"It's - It's your body's fault for being utterly distracting," Lena let her eyes rove over Kara's body. She blatantly and forwardly checked out Kara's body. And this time she didn't shy away from the notion that she wanted to touch her. "Have you seen your abs?"

"Have you seen you?" Kara shot back, unashamedly. "It sounds like we're even."

"I'd hardly say that," Lena argued. "Look," Lena sighed, "I really am sorry about the shirt. I wasn't thinking."

“It’s fine.” Kara swallowed, “I can just sleep in my sports bra if I have to.”

“Is it still damp from your swim in the bay?” Lena asked.

“It’s not as damp now,” Kara told her, “It’ll dry in no time.”

“No way. That just won’t do,” Lena shook her head. “Hold on, I’ve got just the thing.” Lena disappeared, and reappeared a minute later with an MIT sweatshirt held in her hand. She handed it to Kara, with a peculiar look in her bright green eyes. She ducked back out, cracking the door behind her. Kara thought about shutting the door, but decided against it. Kara pulled her bra over her head and tossed it onto the pile of the rest of her clothes. She pulled the sweatshirt over her head. She gathered her clothes up in her arms, and padded from the bathroom. Lena looked up from where she sat against the headboard.

“Is there somewhere I can put these?” Kara questioned.

“I'll take them,” Lena provided her an answer, as she climbed out of bed to take them from Kara. She reappeared a couple of minutes later. Kara turned away from the window, and Lena gasped as she took in the sight of Kara in her sweatshirt.

“What?” Kara asked, self-consciously, as she looked at Lena. "Is something wrong?"

“I thought I was prepared for the sight of you in my sweatshirt,” Lena explained as she slowly walked forwards, moving to stand in front of Kara. “But I was wrong. Fuck, it’s downright sexy. You’re so beautiful, Kara.”

“Thanks for everything,” Kara told her, as she pulled Lena in for a hug. As she pulled away, she pressed a kiss to Lena’s forehead, in a silent display of affection.

Suddenly Lena felt frustrated. Her body and her mind were crying out for more. Why not kiss her, when her lips were so close to where she wanted them? As she started to pull away once more, Lena reached out and didn’t let her retreat. With her hands, she pulled Kara into her, using fistfuls of her own sweatshirt. Lena could tell that Kara was surprised by her forwardness, but she didn’t care. Instead of letting it discourage her, she kissed her girlfriend with everything that she could muster. Lena’s tongue slipped out and persistently begged for entrance until Kara yielded and gave her exactly what it was that she wanted. Suddenly their tongues tangled together, silken muscles battling for control, and Lena did her best to explore the confines of Kara’s mouth as Kara's hands explored her body. She found Kara’s mouth to be so warm and inviting that she found herself giving her everything she had, until her brain started to cry out for oxygen. It was with the biggest regret that she had to end something so unbelievably perfect. Lena didn’t even realize that she’d been moaning, until Kara moaned herself, or more like groaned, at the loss. Finally, their eyes locked and neither of them could look away. Kara looked stunned, and about a million other things. Lena couldn’t quite make sense of all the emotions sweeping in rapid succession across Kara's face, but for the most part, they all seemed to be good. Lena's chest was heaving up and down. It was so clichéd, she knew, but Lena was definitely speechless and feeling a little bit turned on.

“Come on,” Lena implored her, as she tugged Kara in the direction of the bed. Lena tugged off Kara’s glasses and set them on the bedside table, before her own followed suit. They both settled down onto the mattress, before Kara leaned over to turn off the lamp.

“Do you want some space, or can I-” Lena asked, as she scooted closer, and Kara swallowed audibly over the sudden lump in her throat.

“As if you don’t already know the answer to that,” Kara joked, as she tugged Lena to her side of the mattress.

“Is was a valid question,” Lena whispered, as she loosely wrapped an arm around Kara’s waist, pulling herself closer. She briefly heard Kara’s breathing hitch as Lena’s hand accidentally slid beneath the fabric of the sweatshirt and grazed bare skin. Lena instantly sought to rectify the mistake, and began to withdraw her hand, but Kara caught it with one of her own.

“You don’t have to move it,” Kara supplied in a hushed whisper. “Unless you want to.” She held Lena’s hand there for a few seconds.

“Are you sure?” Lena asked, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Lee,” Kara chuckled. “Can we both agree to do what feels right? And try not to overthink it?”

“Of course,” Lena’s voice held a hint of arousal to it as she spoke. “But you’re sure it’s okay?”

“Yeah. It feels good,” Kara admitted, “Like _really_ good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kara let out a contented sigh. “It’s making it feel like there are butterflies in my stomach.” Kara suddenly burst out into laughter. Her shoulders were suddenly quaking, and Lena found that the feeling was contagious.

“What?” Lena laughed back.

“I’ve never fully understood that expression before,” Kara admitted. “I mean, who in the hell actually knows what it feels like to have butterflies in their stomach? Did some guy just randomly decide to eat a bunch of butterflies, and then try to equate it with the sort of things a person feels when they’re in love?” Kara shook her head. “But I think I get it now. It’s about trying to describe the feeling, trying to quantify it somehow. The thing is, you can’t accurately describe what it feels like to be in love, because It’s unlike anything else. No other emotion comes close to it.”

"You are the biggest dork I've ever met," Lena told her through her laughter, "But I love you."

"And I love you," Kara told her, under her breath.

Lena felt Kara’s fingers begin to draw lazy patterns on the skin between her shoulder blades, as Lena settled into her side. With a contented sigh, Lena laid her head against Kara’s shoulder, just listening to the beating of her heart.

At the same time, Kara shifted so that her nose and mouth brushed against the top of Lena’s head and she could hear her take in a deep breath. Lena knew exactly what Kara was doing, because she was doing the exact same thing. God, Kara was breathing her in, just as surely as she was breathing Kara in, at the very same moment. Kara smelled so wonderful, that Lena found herself closing her eyes, and relishing in the sensation - not only of her smell, but also of the loud, slightly staccato heartbeat she could feel against her cheek, through the fabric of her sweatshirt. She loved Kara so. Lena loved the woman she was holding, and the thought of that didn’t scare her anymore.

“Night, Lena,” Kara whispered.

"Good night, my love," Lena breathed, as she drifted off a few moments later.

 _Sometimes I wonder when you sleep_  
_Are you ever dreaming of me?_  
_Sometimes when I look into your eyes_  
_I pretend you're mine, all the damn time_  
_'Cause I like you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for now! Unfortunately, things aren't going to be getting any easier for our leading ladies, but I have every confidence that they'll make it through. I love how perfect they are for each other. 
> 
> Please take a second to leave a like or a comment if you have a chance! Thanks!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara finds out about a project that Lena's been working on, and she's worried about it. They have breakfast together, before Lena gets called away. Lena finds Lillian in her office, and the Luthor matriarch makes threats against Lena that will have lasting repercussions for both Lena and Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit.
> 
> Hey, guys! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I've been suffering from a severe case of writer's block, and the timing couldn't have been worse, especially because this chapter is pivotal to the story. I've also been sick, which made it even harder to sit down and write. I'm just hoping that it isn't utterly terrible. Thanks for being patient with me! I love you guys! :)

_I'm just getting used to this_  
_My fingers are arguing over which_  
_One of them gets to climb down your wrist_  
_Introduce themselves to yours first_  
_I try to make sense of this_  
_Cause my lips are starting to make a list_  
_Of all of the things that they seem to have missed_  
_Before the day that they met yours_

When she woke up to an empty bed, Kara felt momentarily confused. Slowly she let out a deep breath, and closed her eyes once more as she tried to remember where she was, and how she had gotten there. Slowly, it all started coming back to her. She remembered how she’d been so tired the night before that she had felt in a drunken haze. And Lena, Lena had graciously taken Kara into her own bed. She had made Kara feel more at home on this planet than Kara had in a very long time. Kara moaned as she settled back onto the mattress. She was easily in the softest bed that she’d ever slept in. In fact, it honestly felt as if she were being wrapped in a warm, soft, cloud, and Kara suddenly realized she never wanted to sleep anywhere else again. Slowly, Kara remembered all of it – every feeling, every sensation. A faint, comforting, and familiar scent seemed to surround her all at once, and Kara inhaled it deeply as she buried her nose into Lena’s pillow. Kara instantly relaxed, as Lena consumed Kara’s every thought. A flush settled onto Kara’s cheeks as her mind jumped back to the night before, remembering how it had felt to be held in Lena’s arms. The memories of it were all so fresh and vivid in her mind. In fact, she could still feel Lena’s touch on her body even now, hours later. A contented sigh escaped Kara’s parted lips.

Kara opened her eyes, and rolled over on the mattress, greeting the day. Beams of bright orange light illuminated the room, and Kara felt they’re warmth on her skin. Her body practically vibrated under their touch. For the first time, in a long time, she felt peace again. Kara’s gaze moved slowly over the room, taking in all of the small details that she had been too tired to notice the night before. There were faint shadows cast over the room, where the tendrils of light couldn’t quite reach.

Kara felt her heart swell, as her eyes fell across a few pictures displayed in silver matching frames on Lena’s bedside table. Specifically, one of them caught her eye. It was a picture of her and Lena, taken while they were out celebrating Lena’s last birthday. They were both smiling happily at the camera, with Kara’s arm thrown casually over the back of Lena’s shoulders. Kara remembered that night well. She'd actually chased some poor soul halfway across the restaurant, in order to rope him into taking a picture of the two of them, because Kara was determined to get a photo to commemorate the night. Lena had never been particularly excited about celebrating her birthday. Mainly, because the Luthor's often gave her impersonal gifts. From what Lena had told her, the only one that had ever made Lena's birthdays feel special had been Lex. And Kara, Kara had been determined to make the day special for her again - to the point of being obnoxious. 

She picked up another picture of her and Lena from the night they had attended a fundraiser together. It had been a Gala celebrating the kick-off of the L-Corp STEM Scholarship fund. Kara had worn a hip-hugging red dress that packed quite a punch. She’d known it was a hit, when Lena’s jaw had fallen open upon seeing Kara for the first time. Lena had made an effort not to stare, but Kara kept catching Lena glancing at her from across the room as she talked to the other guests. Kara smiled as she remembered that night fondly. Lena had playfully twirled her around the dance floor, despite Kara’s relentless and increasingly adamant assurances that she couldn’t dance a step to save her life. Kara had still been with Mon-El at that point, but she remembered harboring deep feelings for Lena even then. And of course, Lena had been completely oblivious to the way Kara’s body had reacted to her flirtatious teasing. Kara swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat as she realized Lena looked incredibly happy in the picture. A part of Kara would like to think that she was a reason for that happiness, but she could never be sure. Lena had such a healthy glow about her. Her smile in that picture was honestly something that Kara might equate with the sun, it was bright and warm, and it made Kara feel things that only the sun ever had.

Kara smiled, and set the frame back down on the bedside table. She pushed back the covers, and swung her feet over the side of the bed. She stood. Kara’s eyes drifted over towards the armchair in the corner of the room. There, her clothes sat in a neat pile. Lena had been up for a while, it seemed.

Kara peered around the room. She could dress if she really wanted, but a part of her didn’t feel any need. In fact, she rather liked the idea of wearing Lena’s clothes for a little while longer. Kara turned towards the bedroom door, deciding to go in search of the elusive woman.

As she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, the most heavenly of aromas met her nostrils. Something was cooking in the kitchen, and Kara's stomach growled uproariously as she was faced with the promise of food. Still, a different kind of hunger was dwarfing her need for food. Kara closed her eyes, humming under her breath. She couldn’t stop thinking about Lena. She felt like a hormonal teenager that couldn’t seem to get enough. Quickly she padded for the kitchen, only to frown when she found it empty. She navigated part of the way through the massive penthouse suite. Kara frowned as she realized that it looked as if some of these rooms hadn't been used in months. Finally, as she failed to locate her girlfriend, she referred to plan B.

“Lena!?” she called out into the quiet apartment, hoping to get some sort of response.

“In here!” a voice called back. Kara followed it, moving through the Great-room towards the front of the penthouse. She found Lena inside of her office. Kara’s jaw fell open as her eyes fell upon a custom built library, stuffed to capacity with hundreds of books. Lena had been holding out on her, it seemed.

 _Oh but, how many lives have we_  
_How many lives have we_  
_How many lives have we led?_

Lena tried to remain focused on her work, though she quickly discovered it to be impossible as she felt Kara’s bright blue eyes take her in. Kara sucked in a sharp breath as she took in the adorable scene. She realized that she had no chance in hell of calming her suddenly racing heart. Lena was just so goddamned beautiful, it took her breath away.

Her girlfriend was sitting in a chair, with a pair of glasses perched on her nose, making notes on an academic review article she was writing. She finally gave into Kara’s presence and looked up from her lap to in order meet the sexiest sight imaginable. Kara Danvers was leaning casually against the doorway, wearing her sweatshirt, her pair of leggings, and nothing else. Kara’s hair looked like she had run her hands through it a hundred times, which only served to remind her of how beautiful Kara was when she was unpolished – and free to be herself. Lena closed her eyes, imagining her in a state of complete surrender. They hadn’t gotten to that point yet, but Lena could already imagine just how glorious that would be. Just the memory of the moans emanating from her Kara’s mouth as she kissed her, was enough to send a spike of arousal through her. It ignited Lena’s need for Kara all over again.

 _You're just getting over him_  
_Your eyes are shining_  
_But oh so dim_  
_I heard he tore you apart limb from limb_  
_You promise it wasn't the worst_

Kara bit down on her lip nervously as she felt Lena drink in the sight of her, with a dark look in her typically bright green gaze. Lena wasn’t the least bit shy as she let her eyes run up Kara’s toned legs, and over Kara’s torso. Kara was perfect in every aspect of the word. She was muscular, fit, but still had curves in all of the right places. She was the most beautiful woman Lena had ever laid eyes on, and Lena loved her.

“Hey,” Lena couldn’t stop the coy smile from overtaking her lips as she locked eyes with Kara.

“Hello to you too,” Kara smiled. “I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?”

“Not a chance,” Lena gave Kara her undivided attention. “If anything, you’re rescuing me from work.”

“How long have you been up?” Kara asked softly as she took a small step into the room.

“A couple of hours,” Lena remarked as she glanced to the clock on the mantle. “I thought you could do with the extra rest, so I decided that I’d let you sleep a little while longer while I got some work done and made breakfast.” Lena patted her lap, indicating for Kara to come join her. Kara quickly took the hint. Slowly, she sauntered over. She made a show of picking up the papers occupying Lena’s lap and dropping them onto the table next to Lena’s chair before she took their place. In a fit of bravery, Kara straddled her, and Lena hummed contentedly into Kara’s mouth, as Kara hungrily kissed her.

 _And I hope there's enough for you_  
_Cause my love is bleeding and slightly bruised_  
_You be the page and then I'll be the glue_  
_Come here, I'll show you it hurts_

“You’re so sexy with your glasses on,” Kara told her in a suddenly raspy voice, “But I’m going to take them off so I don’t break them. Okay?” Lena didn't trust her voice so she merely nodded her acquiescence.

Lena closed her eyes as she felt Kara's fingertips brush against her temples. Kara gently removed her glasses, before carefully setting them down on top of the table next to the lamp. Then, she slowly started running her hands up Lena’s chest and around the back of her neck, in order to touch the skin there. Lena hummed melodically as she felt Kara’s fingers dance along her spine, eliciting shivers from Lena's body with each and every touch. Lena’s hands gripped Kara’s hips tightly in her own hands. She pulled slightly, causing Kara’s pelvis to collide with her own, and Kara moaned as her body quickly responded to the feel of Lena against her. She still wanted more, and Kara could only imagine that she would never be able to get enough of Lena. She was stuck in a perpetual state of hunger and lust, and she couldn't help but feel that she wanted to spend the rest of her days touching Lena - kissing her. Between kisses, Lena tried to ask her questions, but Kara was determined not to get distracted.

“You sleep well?” Lena asked considerately, as Kara’s fingers played idly with the locks of hair at the nape of Lena’s neck.

“Mmhmm,” Kara hummed softly against Lena’s mouth, “That was the best night’s sleep I’ve gotten in the last year.”

“I know what you mean,” Lena replied earnestly, though Kara could see something flickering in Lena’s eyes. Kara forced herself to slow down. But she couldn’t help but want to be as close to Lena as possible, both physically and emotionally.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Lena whispered, seemingly entranced by her. Kara kissed her again. This time she did so sweetly and unhurriedly. After all, how could she not take her time, after knowing that they had all the time together in the world? After all of the time they’d spent together, Kara felt closer to Lena now than she ever had before.

“This again?” Kara joked softly as she gazed deep into Lena’s emerald green eyes. "Cause I will happily go another round with you." Her heart started to beat faster, as she saw all of her love reflected in Lena’s eyes. She knew then, that she wasn’t alone in her feelings. “You're breathtakingly beautiful, Lena. Although, I worry about you sometimes.” She saw a flicker of something flash through Lena’s eyes. “You have been feeding yourself, haven’t you?”

“Of course,” Lena choked out, “Sometimes I forget to eat lunch because work is crazy and I don't have a chance to get away, but I’m eating _plenty_ , Kara.” Then, she murmured jokingly. “I think you forget that us mere mortals are not blessed with your superhuman metabolism.” Kara swallowed as Lena ran her hands gently up from where they had been gripping her hips, to her stomach. "And we _certainly_ don't look as good as you do. Your abs look like they could be chiseled from stone." Kara moaned softly as Lena’s fingers trailed over her warm skin, drawing patterns there with the pad of her fingertips. Lena stopped as she encountered a small scar that ran across her stomach for several inches. A deep breath escaped her lips as she pondered how Kara had gotten it. She became lost in thought, her gaze drifting as she wondered about how many times Kara had nearly been killed.

 _My heart's speeding up so I think that we should take it slow_  
_Oh no, I_  
_Think we should try to see just how far this thing can go_  
_Oh, oh_

“Lee?” Kara’s voice was gentle, as Kara hooked a finger under Lena’s chin and lifted her gaze to meet Kara’s own. Kara sighed as she felt Lena start to close herself off again. Lena was constantly doing that and it made Kara afraid that she wouldn’t be able to bounce back again.

“Uh uh,” Kara reprimanded her softly as she gently reached up to run the pad of her thumb over Lena’s cheek. She hoped the gesture would be comforting. “Don’t do that.” Kara told her before taking Lena's lips in a deep, lingering kiss that anchored Lena to her.

“Sorry,” Lena shook her head. “I don’t mean to do it. It’s just hard not to go to that place.”

“I know,” Kara spoke softly. “But stay here with me. Please?” Lena nodded, kissing her softly. Kara whimpered softly as Lena’s tongue begged entrance into her mouth. They were so lost in their little world that clothes might have started coming off, if it weren’t for the timer in the kitchen. Kara nearly jumped off of Lena’s lap, as the loud buzzer started going off in the kitchen.

“What is that?” Kara asked breathlessly. Her voice was a low, husky alto. Kara's thoughts were sluggish as she fought to think of anything other than the way that Lena felt so right against her. She wanted nothing more than to feel Lena's skin against her own.

“That would be Breakfast,” Lena breathed softly, holding onto Kara’s bright blue gaze with her own gaze full of love and adoration. Instead of jumping up from her lap, Kara stayed fixed on her lap, playing with the tendrils of hair at the nape of Lena’s neck. It was sensual, intimate, and it made Lena’s heart pound relentlessly in her chest. “It’s ready.”

“You know, I’m having a really hard time motivating myself to get off of you,” Kara breathed into her ear, causing Lena to moan as another shiver shot up her spine. Only, instead of making it feel cold, it made her feel so warm – so very warm.

“You mean you still haven’t gotten enough of me?” Lena inquired. “Why, Kara Danvers, I never would have thought you would be so insatiable.”

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you?” Kara asked with darkening eyes, and a teasing smile, “You can never have too much of a good thing.”

“Mmm,” Lena hummed. “You’re telling me, Love.”

“Come on,” Kara chuckled, “You can’t mean to tell me that you don’t want to continue what we started.”

“Oh, I do,” Lena replied in a husky voice of her own, “In fact, I very much want to have you, too, but it would seem that I have better self control than you do."

"Besides," Lena pouted, "I put so much work into breakfast, and it would seem like such a shame to have all of my hard work go to waste.”

"You're right. We can't have that." Kara conceded.

“How about we eat breakfast,” Lena suggested, “and then when we’re finished, if you still want to have your wicked way with me, I’m all yours.”

"Is that a promise?" Kara asked with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Oh you know it," Lena told her, before drawing her into one of the deepest and most sensual kisses they'd ever shared.

"You know, it's evil of you to taunt me like that," Kara groaned, "Because now that's all I'm going to be able to think about for the entirety of breakfast."

"Are you saying no?" Lena challenged.

Kara's throat opened up in sound of discontentment, but acquiesced to Lena’s demand. She moved off of Lena’s lap so that Lena could get up from the chair, though Kara did so with a laziness that served as a testament to how little she wanted to move. Lena nearly laughed as Kara’s head dropped to the chair in a gesture of defeat.

“Wait here five minutes?” Lena asked her softly.

“Lee,” Kara groaned, nearly pouted. She was about to stand up, but before she could, Lena held up a hand.

“Be a good sport,” she pleaded softly, “You won’t regret it. I promise.” Lena swallowed, pausing at the door. “Five minutes,” she punctuated again, before she slipped out the door and shut it with a faint click, behind her. Kara sighed as she stood up. She started perusing books around the library before curiosity got the best of her and wandered over to the lone desk in the room. On top of it was a large stack of paper. Kara flipped on Lena’s desk lamp, and moved so that her shadow didn’t cut off the source of light. She gently reached out to touch them, running her fingers over their contents as she took in the symbols written in an elegant script on its pages. They were full of chemical formulas. Kara began sifting idly through them.

She was so captivated by what she was reading that she didn’t hear Lena come in. She swallowed as a hand gently reached out and restored the pile to its original state. Lena’s hand pulled Kara away from it gently. And when Kara turned around, it was to a calm, unreadable expression on Lena’s beautiful face. She stood still as Lena reached around her and switched off the lamp. Then, Kara watched as Lena calmly picked up the pile and dropped it into a drawer at the bottom of her desk, before shutting it a little too vigorously with her foot. Kara didn’t want to think that Lena was trying to hide something from her, but it kind of felt like she had stumbled upon something she wasn't meant to see.

“Come with me?” Lena requested softly, offering Kara her hand. Kara couldn’t help but smile at the way Lena twined her fingers with Kara’s.

Slowly they headed for the small area of the Great-room that was Lena’s dining room. Kara’s jaw fell open as Lena led her into the open room, lit entirely by sunlight filtering in through the large windows. The table settings were beautiful, glittering faintly in the sunlight. Kara relaxed as she inhaled the deep scent of vanilla. She could only assume it was the diffuser in the center of the table. Kara’s heart beat faster as she took in the rose petals sprinkled across the length of the table. Lena had outdone herself on this one. Lena pulled out her chair for her, watching as Kara settled into her chair. She quickly uncovered the dish in the center of the table. Kara’s mouth was already watering.

“I hope you’re in the mood for my not-so-famous egg dish,” Lena said with a warm inflection of her voice. “I wasn’t really sure what to make.”

“It looks fantastic,” Kara reassured her, to the tune of a punctuated growl from her stomach. Lena quickly dished Kara up with a healthy serving of the egg dish. “I had no idea you could cook.” Kara joked.

“I’ve had plenty of time to learn,” Lena replied softly. “That’s what happens when you don’t rely on take out, and you have to feed yourself.”

Lena set Kara’s plate down in front of her and sidled over to grab a bottle from ice in the center of the table. She reached out for Kara’s glass and filled it for her. “Sorry I don’t have any orange juice. Hopefully, some sparkling cider will be a suitable substitute.”

“It’s perfect, Lee,” Kara smiled, as she gave Lena’s hand a gentle squeeze, “Thank you. You’re taking such good care of me.”

“You’re welcome, darling,” Lena smiled back. “I hope you know that I’d do anything for you.” She silently wondered if she was trying too hard. Still, Kara seemed to accept her words.

With silence building, Lena walked over to her own chair, her eyes lingering on Kara’s body. Kara watched as Lena served herself and then sat down. Kara’s brow furrowed as she realized Lena had a lot smaller portion than she had. So Lena hadn’t been eating… not nearly enough by Kara’s standards anyways. Kara took a ravenous bite; she hadn’t realized how hungry she had truly been, until that moment. Kara shoveled a couple of bites into her mouth, and made appreciative noises in the back of her throat. Her eyes flickered up subtly and she watched Lena move the food on her plate back and forth, while intermittently taking small conservative bites.

“This is great,” Kara complimented her, her eyes lifting and truly catching Lena’s from across the table.

“I’m glad you like it,” Lena smiled. Kara smiled, a flicker of concern flashing across her face. This did not go unnoticed by Lena. Lena swallowed, wondering if they were going to be able to make through the meal before one of them broke. Then, she decided to just come out with it. She could see the curious looks that Kara was sending her way. And she knows that Kara had ample time to look through Lena's notes. She might as well be honest about what she was doing.

“So…I saw that you noticed what I’ve been working on,” Lena hedged.

“Yeah,” Kara replied carefully. “Though it umm... it wasn’t exactly clear what you were working on. What is it?” There it was again - the hesitation, the flickers of worry and concern in Kara’s expression.

“I’ve been working on a way to counteract the effects of Kryptonite,” Lena revealed. “I started working on it a long time ago, after I found out about what Lex was trying to do. But I tabled my research after I took over as CEO of L-Corp.” Lena took a deep breath. “When I did so, I honestly thought I was done with it, but the truth is, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” Lena cleared her throat; she looked uneasy as she continued. “After I found out about the device that was designed to disperse Kryptonite into the atmosphere, it started me thinking about what other kinds of weapons and devices that might be out there. I mean, it's fairly obvious that we've only scratched the surface of what's out there, and Lex created a lot of things - things that could harm you or Superman. So I - I decided to do something to ease those fears. I pulled my old research, and I've been looking at it with a fresh set of eyes.” Lena met and held Kara’s gaze. “I want to help you, Kara. I meant it when I said I was going to want to protect you.”

“Lee,” Kara spoke with a hint of frustration. Kara set her silverware to the side of her plate, before lifting her hands to her face and breathing out a harsh breath into them. This was not what Kara wanted at all. Part of her was already regretting her decision to tell Lena who she was - it was a rather small part of her, to be sure, but still a part of her nonetheless. Kara's hands fell away from her face, as she heard Lena start speaking.

“I don’t want to lose you, Kara,” Lena admitted. “I’m scared to death of it, actually. And God, I don’t know what I’d do if I had to send you away in the way that you had to send away Mon-El, but I’m pretty sure it would – it would destroy me.”

“Lena,” Kara shook her head, “That’s not going to happen.”

“You don’t know that!” Lena burst out. “You can't promise me that, Kara! That's the point! What could it hurt to have a plan B? What could it possibly hurt to have a failsafe in place in case something happens, or something goes wrong?”

Kara closed her eyes, focusing on taking deep breaths.

“I’m sorry, if this upsets you, Kara,” Lena apologized as she too set down her cutlery upon the table.

Kara shifted uneasily, placing her hands flat against the table to either side of her plate, as she anchored her hands to the table. “I’m not upset, okay? Or even mad, it’s just…. I – I’m worried. Rao, Lena, If anybody else saw what I saw - if anybody else _knew_ what you were working on, it could put your life in danger. Looking into counteracting the effects of Kryptonite could be seen as a declaration of war against Cadmus, Lena. In fact, I’m pretty sure it would be taken as such. Lex put so much _effort_ and so much _focus_ into weaponizing Kryptonite, that trying to neutralize it will be seen as a threat. Your mother might come after you, and I can’t be responsible for that.”

“I’m a big girl, Kara,” Lena shot back, “I’m pretty sure I can make my own decisions.”

“Don’t you dare make it sound like I’m being unreasonable!” Kara bit back, with a clench of her jaw. “For Rao's sake, Lena, you _know_ how important you are to me. I’m asking you to be careful.”

“I am,” Lena spoke confidently, "I am being careful, Kara."

“Really?” Kara shot back, “Because leaving those papers out in the open like that, leaves me to think otherwise. You can't afford to leave your research out like that where someone else could see it. You've got to be more careful than that!” Lena didn’t respond to that. Instead she merely clenched her jaw.

“Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

“Oh, don’t pretend like that isn’t one of the reasons you fell in love with me in the first place, Kara,” Lena said with a flash of her bright green eyes. Both her tone and her expression seemed defiant.

“You know... You’re not the only one who is afraid of losing someone, Lena!” Kara reminded her. Lena’s expression fell, as she realized Kara was right.

“You’re right,” Lena whispered, merely breathed, “You’re right, Kara, and I – I’m sorry. I’m sorry for bringing up Mon-El like that. That wasn’t fair of me.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about me…I mean,” Kara pleaded softly, when she saw Lena’s shoulders tense. “I’m fine.”

“No,” Lena denied her. “You’re not fine. Not even close. You had your entire life ripped away from you, and no one… absolutely no one on this earth would be okay after what you’ve been through. I was so tactless when brought him up just now. I basically rubbed it in your face, Kara, and that wasn't - that wasn't right. You should be angry with me.”

“I’m not,” Kara argued, growing more and more frustrated. "I just want you to be safe, Lena," Kara told her. "That's all I want." She silently wondered how a day that had started out so perfectly, had turned into something markedly less perfect. She didn’t want to fight. Kara picked up her fork and began eating again, deciding that she would rather let the matter rest for now. They both looked up as Lena’s phone started going off in the other room.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Lena spoke, before she quickly got up from the table and rushed from the room. Kara let out a sigh, and closed her eyes. She made a conscious effort not to listen in to the conversation-taking place in the other room.

A couple minutes later, Lena walked back in. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but it would seem that it’s my turn to have to cut things short. There’s been an emergency at L-Corp and I’ve got to run in to the office.”

“It's okay. I understand,” Kara said as she pushed back her chair, and stood.

“Kara,” Lena sighed.

“It’s no problem,” Kara reassured her, as she picked up the plates from the table and brought them over to the sink. “You’re the CEO of a Multi-billion Dollar International Company, Lena,” Kara chuckled, “this was bound to happen at least once.”

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Lena asked.

“Positive,” Kara nodded. “Just give me a minute and I’ll get out of your hair.” Lena let out a sharp breath as Kara disappeared into the bedroom, and then came back a moment later, dressed in last night’s outfit. “I folded the clothes, and left them on the chair in the bedroom.”

Kara pressed a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek, before stepping towards the door. “I’ll see myself out.”

“Kara, wait,” Lena caught her by the wrist, and Kara whirled around. A sharp gasp fell from Kara’s lips as Lena kissed her. It was a promise of what was to come. But more than that, it was a reassurance that she loved Kara and wouldn’t be going anywhere. “I love you,” Lena whispered, as she pulled away.

“I know,” Kara smiled, as she pulled away again. Slowly, Lena felt Kara’s hand began to slide from hers. She tried to hang on, for as long as humanly possible, not wanting Kara to go. But eventually, her fingers closed on open air, and when Lena’s eyes opened again, Kara was gone.

* * *

 

Minutes later, Lena rushed through the doors of L-Corp, and across the main lobby. She found her Security officer waiting for her by her private elevator.

“Ma’am,” Jeff greeted her with a polite nod of his head.

“Is she still in there?” Lena asked with a furrowed brow.

“I’m afraid so,” he swallowed. “She showed up about fifteen minutes ago. Now it looks like she’s just waiting for you.”

“Let’s go,” Lena said in a slightly detached voice. Lena watched as he opened the door of the elevator. They stepped inside of the small metal box.

Lena scanned her keycard, and hit the button for the top floor. The elevator doors slid shut, and began is ascent. It stopped once on the seventeenth floor. A couple of white coats from the physics labs stepped in, and Lena leant against the back wall as she sought to keep a safe distance between them. Lena and the Lab Techs exchanged pleasantries, briefly discussing a project they were working on. Jeff, the Security officer, stood next to her. He was still as a statue, though with the rocking of the elevator, their shoulders brushed occasionally. Lena could feel her heart pick up its pace in her chest. The elevator paused again on the twenty-fifth floor, and the two men stepped off, with a wish for her to have a good day. As the doors slid shut again, Lena let out a tremulous breath. Before she knew it, the elevator arrived at the top floor with a loud ding. Lena waited for Jeff to step out, and followed in his wake. They walked slowly towards Lena’s office. Lena jumped as her phone chimed in her pocket, signaling she’d received a new text. Lena fumbled for it as she walked; eventually she succeeded in pulling it out.

Lena swallowed, and unlocked her phone, deciding that she needed help. If she was truly about to face her mother again, she was going to need some support. She scrolled quickly through her contacts, and hit the button next to Alex’s name. It rang twice before Alex picked up.

“Agent Danvers,” Alex greeted in a tired, but chipper voice.

“Alex, it’s Lena,” Lena swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat.

“Lena?” Alex sounded as if she’d just been pulled from a deep sleep. “Hey, what’s up?”

“My mother is here,” Lena breathed as she lingered in the hallway. She could see Lillian now, and Lena’s heart felt like it was in her throat. Lena didn’t want to admit it, but she was afraid.

“What? Where’s here?” Alex suddenly sounded wide-awake.

“L-Corp,” Lena answered, “She’s in my office.”

“Okay,” Alex breathed, “Okay, I’m on my way. Just be careful, Lena. I’ll be there in less than 10 minutes with lights and sirens.”

“Wait,” Lena gasped, “Don’t hang up, okay? Just – Just mute yourself and stay on the line. I want to know that you’re there.”

“Of course,” Alex replied, “I’m here for you, okay? Just be careful. I promise that I’ll be with you the whole time.”

Lena turned off the screen and dropped it into her purse. Then she moved the handful of steps to the door of her office, and threw it open. Lena’s jaw clenched determinedly, as she rushed inside. She channeled all of the anger and defiance that she was currently feeling into her voice when she said, “What in the hell are you doing in my office?”

“Oh, come on, Lena,” Lillian shot back, her voice all full of bravado, “That’s no way for you to greet your mother.”

Lena stormed over to where Lillian sat in Lena’s chair, with her heels kicked up on the desk’s surface in a sort of casual, irritating posture. Lillian was well aware that Lena liked a clean workspace, and so the gesture was a direct act of opposition. She knew that it would bother Lena, more than her daughter would ever admit. “Get your feet off of my desk,” Lena growled, as she swept Lillian’s feet off the desk. Lillian’s boots fell to the floor with a punctuated thump.

“I will repeat the question, since you didn’t quite seem to hear me the first time,” Lena said through gritted teeth, “What in the _hell_ are you doing in _my office_?”

“There's no need to be so cold, dear. In fact, you should be grateful. I came here to _warn_ you,” Lillian said as she pushed back Lena’s office chair and stood. “I came to warn you about that _woman_ you’re consorting with.” Lillian spat the word, as if it left a vile taste in her mouth – It was as if referring to Kara as a woman was just a little too much for her to bear. Lena knew exactly which woman it was to which Lillian was referring.

“I'll have you know that _Kara Danvers_ is none of your business,” Lena said with a flash of her bright green eyes. “And if you know what is good for you, you will stay as far away from Kara as humanly possible.”

“She’s not who you think she is, Lena,” Lillian said with a defiant expression of her own. Lena froze.

“That’s what I came to tell you. I’m warning you, she is not who she says she is. Before you get any closer with her, you need to ask her about the secrets she keeps. You need to _know_  about what she's been doing with her nights.” Lena decided to spare herself from any further ramblings.

“Oh, I already know. I know  _exactly_ what Kara does in her spare time,” Lena said with a self-satisfied expression. “And I know because she _told_ _me_. Kara told me everything. I know more about her than you could _ever_ know.”

“And yet you still took her into your bed?” Lillian spoke with a tone of disbelief.

"Why, I do believe that  _that_ is none of your business," Lena shot back.

"That's disgusting," Lillian seemed to choke on the word. “You - You are a _disgrace_ , Lena - a discredit to the Luthor bloodline. This is _not_ how your father and I raised you.”

“Screw you,” Lena spat. “I will love whoever I want to love. You can’t _change_ that. And you should know by now that you can't _change me, mother_.”

“If you know what’s good for you, you will distance yourself from that – that _thing_ ,” Lillian said, icily. 

"Or what?" Lena shot back, with nothing short of defiance.

"Or you will regret it!" Lillian retorted.

“Are you seriously threatening me right now?” Lena scoffed, as she crossed her arms over her chest in a protective, and defensive gesture.

“Oh no, I’m not threatening _you_ , dear,” Lillian said with a look of mal-intent. “After all, you know I would _never_ harm my own daughter. But _her_? Oh, I promise you that I have no qualms about lifting a finger against Kara Danvers.”

“Have you really forgotten what she did for you?” Lena burst out, her voice quavering, as fear crept into her voice. “She helped you. She saved the world from the Daxamites!”

“Whatever truce we had, is long over,” Lillian spoke coldly. “I’m telling you-“

“You’re bluffing,” Lena burst out, her eyes flashing in incredulousness. “You wouldn’t- You wouldn't _dare_.“

“Are you really prepared to take that chance?” Lillian shot back. “Oh, I think you know I’m not bluffing,” Lillian laughed. “I can see it in your eyes, Lena – I can the _fear_. Your eyes have always given far too much away for your own good.” Lena suddenly felt as if she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t seem to draw in breaths any longer, as she listened to her mother speak.

“I think you know exactly what I am capable of,” Lillian continued, “Because I’ve proven time and time again, that I'm not afraid to do what needs to be done. You _know_ I can hurt her, but more importantly, you know that I will not shy away from doing what needs to be done in order to rid the Earth of _people_ like Kara Danvers.”

“You will not lay a hand on her, or so help me God,” Lena said, in a voice she had never used before. Her threat sounded utterly sincere, and sent chills up Alex’s spine. “If you hurt her, I swear on all that it is holy that I will come after you with _everything_ I have. You can _believe_ that, mother. I won’t stop - I won't _stop_ coming after you until you pay for every drop of her blood with your own. Make no mistake, I’ve already chosen sides, and it’s not yours I’m on.”

"Stay away from her and you won’t have anything to worry about, my dear,” Lillian spoke. “But if you dare defy me, if you dare tempt fate, you need to be fully prepared to reap the consequences.”

“Go to _hell_ ,” Lena spat out.

“Oh, look, the cavalry is here,” Lillian spat, as Alex rushed through her office doors, with her gun drawn. “You have the alien’s sister on speed-dial, that’s so _sweet_ ,” Lillian taunted.

“You need to leave,” Alex spoke with a fire in her dark brown eyes. Lena had never seen such a look of fury on Alex's face before, and it scared her just a little bit. “ _Now_.”

“Fine,” Lillian said coolly. “Think about what I said, Lena. Kara’s fate is in your hands now, and I’d hate to see you make the wrong choice.” With that, Lillian walked to the door and left without so much as another word. Alex turned on the safety, and holstered her weapon.

Lena let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, and sank down into a nearby chair.

“Lena?” Alex’s voice was soft as she walked over, and crouched down in front of her. “Hey, you okay?”

“No,” Lena admitted with a shake of her head, as tears built in her eyes. “No, I’m not okay. She threatened to hurt Kara.”

“I know,” Alex nodded. She reached out to give Lena’s hands a comforting squeeze. “I heard it. I heard _all_ of it.” Lena met Alex’s eyes, and lost it. Tears began cascading down Lena’s cheeks.

“Is there any chance that she was bluffing?” Alex had to ask.

“No,” Lena shook her head, and sniffled as she tried to hold back more tears, “No, I know my mother, and she wasn’t bluffing. She has something that can hurt Kara, or perhaps even kill her.” A sob tore its way past Lena’s throat and Alex threw caution to the wind, deciding to pull Lena into her arms in order to give her a comforting hug. Lena buried her face into Alex’s shoulder.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to her,” Alex vowed, “I promise you, Lena.” Alex let out a long breath, more for her benefit than Lena’s. “The DEO is equipped to protect Kara, if need be. And in the meantime, I’m going to check in with Clark and make sure all of the Kryptonite is present and accounted for.”

Lena pulled back from the embrace and wiped furiously at her tears. “Is there any chance that my mother could have gotten her hands on it somehow?”

“I don’t know,” Alex admitted. “Kara let her into the fortress of solitude when she went to rescue you from the Daxamite ship. So it’s entirely possible that she and Henshaw broke into the mainframe and figured out where Kal-El hid his stash of Kryptonite. God, I really don’t want to think about that right now.”

“What do I do?” Lena questioned. “Alex, I don’t know what to do.”

“You can’t give your mother what she wants,” Alex spoke, before running a hand over her face, “For all we know, she’s going to go after Kara anyways.”

“I know,” Lena breathed in a weak voice, “But I can’t be the reason. I can’t be the reason that something happens to Kara. I – I can’t have that on my conscience, Alex. I would never forgive myself.”

“Are you really saying that you intend to give into your mother's demands?” Alex spoke in disbelief. "Lena, that'll break Kara's heart."

“I know. I know it would, Alex,” Lena shook her head, "But I just don’t know if I'm brave enough to put Kara's life at risk like that. I'd rather she despise me - I'd rather she hate me, than see any harm ever done to her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, that just happened. Please don't hate me. *runs and hides* It might be a little rough for the next couple of chapters, but I have every confidence that Supercorp will make it out on the other side. So please, bear with me, okay? I'm sorry for all the feels.
> 
> If you have a second, and you're enjoying my story, please leave a like or a comment! They really mean a lot to me!
> 
> Also, the song featured in this chapter is Many Lives by Andrew Belle


	12. Getting Half of You, Just Ain't Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! All of my content is made for recreational purposes only and is not for profit.
> 
> Hey, guys! I'm sorry that it took me so long for me to update this one, but I guess you could say that I got distracted by other ideas. I feel like I should probably warn you that this chapter is super angsty. And you might very well hate me when you're done reading, but I promise you that I will fix it eventually. Just try and hang with me for a little bit, okay?

_“You can’t give your mother what she wants,” Alex spoke tensely, before running a hand over her face, and letting out an exasperated sigh. “For all we know, she’s going to go after Kara anyway.”_

_“I know,” Lena breathed in a weak and defeated voice, “But I can’t be the reason that something happens to Kara. The fact is, I – I can’t have that on my conscience, Alex. I would never forgive myself.”_

_“Jesus, Lena. Are you really saying why I think you're saying? You intend to give into your mother's demands?” Alex spoke in disbelief. "That'll break Kara's heart."_

_“I know. I know it will, Alex,” Lena shook her head, "But I just don’t know if I'm brave enough to put Kara's life at risk like that. The truth is, I'd rather she despise me - I'd rather Kara hate me, than ever see any harm done to her.”_

“Listen,” Alex told her as she gave Lena’s knee a reassuring squeeze, “I understand that you’re scared, Lena. But I think that it would be wrong to deny yourself the happiness that you deserve.”

"If the price for my happiness is so high," Lena spoke thoughtfully, "Maybe I don't deserve it, after all."

"No," Alex shook her head. "If you had asked me this a year ago, I might have said differently. But you deserve more than you give yourself credit for. You deserve happiness in your life, Lena. And I would happily go to bat for you, in order to get it for you."

"Alex-" Lena couldn't help but sound more than a little hesitant.

“Look, I know you feel like you have to deal with all of this on your own,” Alex told her from her position on her knees, “but you really _don’t_.” Lena was sure that her position couldn’t be comfortable, but Alex didn’t seem to pay any mind to it, at all. She only seemed to care about offering Lena some much-needed comfort. And Lena suddenly understood why Kara was always going on about what a great sister Alex was. She was so kind and selfless, protective and nurturing, that Lena felt extremely comforted in her presence.

“That’s the thing about a healthy relationship, Lena. It’s a cooperative effort,” Alex spoke as she held Lena’s gaze. "You can face things together that you would never be able to face apart. Ride or Die. That’s what Maggie and I always say to one another when things get really dicey. We might be scared, but so long as we’re together? That’s all that matters. I know she's got my back, just like I've got hers.”

“I understand what you’re saying, Alex, but I don’t – I don’t know,” Lena admitted. “If I tell Kara about what happened with my mother, I have no doubt that she will let her feelings run away with her. She’s very protective of me – sometimes overly so, and I’m afraid that she’ll go rushing off after my mother without thinking about the consequences.” Lena’s voice deepened with emotion as she said, “I’m afraid that she’ll put herself in more danger, when all I want, is for her to be _safe_. I love her. I just want her to be safe.”

“Please,” Alex sighed, “I know that your instincts are to keep this from her, but nothing good ever comes from keeping secrets, Lena.” Her voice took on a pleading tone, as she implored Lena to see reason, “Just talk to Kara, okay? Look, I can be there if you feel like you need another person there to make her see reason, but you have to tell her. Just tell her what happened, and tell her about your worst fears. I’m sure that together you can find a solution to this situation.” Lena couldn’t help but shake her head. Alex let out an aggravated breath, as the doors to Lena’s office burst open, and a whole team of DEO agents rushed inside. She wanted to growl at being so rudely interrupted, but she realized that it was her fault. After all, when she'd called in to the DEO on her way in to Lena's office, she had claimed that it was an emergency. Alex quickly sprang up to a standing position, not wanting to be seen in a compromising position.

She would hate for others at the DEO to get the wrong impression. In fact, Alex prided herself on being tough. The only other person at the DEO - apart from J'onn - who knew that Alex actually had a soul, was Vasquez. And it just so happened that Vasquez walked into the room at that precise moment. She met Alex's eyes with a knowing glance, but kept her thoughts to herself. Alex was grateful for that.

“Agent Danvers,” Vasquez greeted as she set down a metal case just inside of the doors.

Lena let out a noise of impatience, as her assistant came bursting into the room, a second after them. “Ma’am, I tried telling them that you weren't available to see anyone, but they insisted on coming in.”

“It’s alright, Jess,” Lena told her, with a soft breath, as she climbed to her feet. “Everything is fine in here. You can leave us.” Jess gave Lena and Alex a pointed look, before reluctantly stepping out of the room, and departing.

“Is everything really okay in here?” Vasquez asked Alex. “Or was she just saying that to allay suspicion?”

“No, everything is under control,” Alex assured her. “Fortunately, Lillian didn’t have any interest in harming Lena.” Alex looked a little guilty as she said, “I probably could have tried to detain her, but I didn’t want the situation to escalate, and Lena’s safety was paramount. I managed to coax Lillian into leaving.”

“I can’t imagine how difficult that was for you,” Vasquez spoke, as she walked over and gave Alex’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.

“It’s fine,” Alex told her, though it wasn’t fine. Not at all.

“What’s going on?” Lena questioned, as she saw the look that was exchanged between them. “What aren’t you telling me, Alex?”

“It’s nothing,” Alex denied her, clearly not wanting to make Lena feel any worse about the situation. But Vasquez didn’t seem to share her reluctance.

“We suspect that Lillian is the one who ordered Henshaw to kill Alex’s father,” Vasquez told her. Lena felt her breathing stop suddenly.

“Oh my god,” Lena gasped in horror, “Alex, why didn’t - why didn't you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to upset you further,” Alex told her. “You’ve already been through enough today, Lena. And there was no point in making you feel any worse than you already did.” Lena sensed that was all that Alex was going to say on the matter, and so she changed the subject.

“Not to be rude, but are they here for some purpose?” Lena asked.

“They’re just here to make sure the area is safe,” Alex replied. “Since your mother was alone in the office for some time before you got here, we need to make sure that she didn’t plant any devices that could harm you.”

“We’d also like to gather some evidence while we’re here, if that's okay,” Agent Melbourne spoke up. Lena watched as he set down the silver case he was holding, and released the clasps. There was a faint whine from the hinges, as he opened up the case.

“We won’t do anything without your permission, Ma’am,” Vasquez added politely, “But it would be helpful. Your mother is still a fugitive, and it might help us gather some insight as to her whereabouts.”

“Do what you have to do,” Lena found herself saying. “In fact, you have my permission to tear this place apart. And when you’re finished here, I want you to go to my penthouse, and do the same there.”

“Lena?” Alex couldn’t help the surprise in her voice, and in her gaze, as she met Lena’s eyes.

“She _knew_ ,” Lena spoke angrily, her emerald green eyes flashing in anger. “She knew that Kara and I – Well, she knows that I took her into my bed, Alex. Either that, or she knows that I’ve been staying over at Kara’s.”

“Oh shit,” Alex gasped, as she replayed their conversation in her head, “You’re right. She commented on it.”

“And there’s only two ways she would know that,” Lena swallowed, “Either she's bugged my home, or she has someone who is tailing me and following me around.”

“I’ll be right back,” Alex informed Lena as she pulled out her phone, “I’m going to talk to J’onn about assigning a couple of agents to you as a protective detail. Just to be safe.”

“That’s not necessary,” Lena tried to tell her, but Alex just shook her head and walked from the room.

“Would it be okay if we started, Ma’am?” Vasquez questioned.

“Yes,” Lena nodded, “Tear this place apart. I need to know for sure.”

“Then we’ll get started,” Vasquez announced.

“You might want to start with my Desk,” Lena spoke helpfully. “She was sitting in my chair, when I arrived. Though, if she planted a device, she would have planted it elsewhere – most likely by my couch. She knows that I like working from the couch when Kara is here.”

“You heard her, boys,” Vasquez spoke in an authoritative voice, “Let’s get to work.”

Lena sighed and stepped out into the hallway, following the sound of Alex’s voice to where she stood standing, staring out the window.

“Alright, I understand,” Alex told him in a hushed voice, “Thanks. I appreciate it, J’onn, and I’m sure that Kara will too. I’ll let you know if we find anything.” Alex hung up, and stuck her phone back into its holster. Lena listened as Alex let out a harsh breath. It was indicative of the amount of stress that she felt as a result of this whole unpleasant situation. Alex ran a hand over her face, before she let if fall back to her side.

“Hey,” Lena’s voice was gentle, as she revealed herself to Alex. Alex slowly turned away from the window.

“Hey,” Alex breathed.

“You okay?” Lena asked worriedly.

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “I’m fine.”

“It’s okay, if you’re not, you know,” Lena told her. “Damn, you and Kara are so much alike. In fact, it’s kind of amazing just how similar that you are.” Then. “Are you sure that you’re not biologically related somehow?” This earned a weak laugh from Alex.

“I think I would know if I had been born on Krypton,” was Alex’s reply. "The powers would be a dead giveaway."

“All kidding aside. I - I just want to say that I am so _so_ sorry about this whole thing,” Lena apologized. “I never would have called you, if I had known about your father. Kara – Kara mentioned something about not being able to protect him, but I didn’t realize…”

“That he’d been killed by Cadmus?” Alex finished for her.

“Yeah,” Lena swallowed.

"Why do you think that Kara went after them?" Alex asked in rebuttal. "That friend she was trying to help out? It was _me_."

"Oh god," Lena gasped. "Why didn't she say something?"

"Because she knew what you'd think," Alex breathed, "And she didn't want you to blame yourself."

"Why?" Lena spoke rather icily, "Because from what it sounds like...maybe _I should be_ blaming myself for this."

“No," Alex spoke sternly. "No, Lena! Contrary to what you might think,” Alex told her, “This isn’t your fault.”

“That’s funny,” Lena breathed, dejectedly. “Because it kind of _feels_ _like it_ _is_."

"She’s my mother, Alex. And the truth is, I've always known what kind of person she is. I knew the kind of person she was, when I first stepped foot in the Luthor household at the rightful age of four. She's cold, calculating. She uses people like pawns to do her own bidding. And she doesn't care who gets hurt, so long as she gets what _she_ wants."

"Lena," Alex felt a pang of sympathy as she realized the amount of pain - of guilt that Lena carried with her.

"I should have stopped her," Lena said with tears pricking at her eyes. "I had the chance to years ago, and I let it slip through my fingers. Maybe if I had been braver then...then I could have stopped her. Maybe then...your father would still be alive."

"That's an awful lot of maybes, Lena," Alex spoke gently. 

"As much as I want to separate myself from her," Lena admitted, "A part of me is always afraid that I’m going to turn out just like her.”

“You’re _nothing_ like her, Lena,” Alex shook her head, “Kara believes in you, and so do I. You’re far too good, and far too smart to follow in her path. And just the fact that you worry about it so much, shows just how unlike her and your brother you really are.”

"I appreciate that," Lena spoke after a while. A thick silence built between them for almost a minute before Lena could bring herself to speak the question she desperately wanted to know the answer to.

“Are you going to tell Kara?” Lena asked. “If I don’t tell her about what happened, are you going to?” Lena needed to know.

“No,” Alex shook her head, “I wouldn’t do that to you, Lena. But I would ask you to think about it - to _really_ consider it, before you dismiss the advice I’ve given to you.” Lena nodded in order to show that she was taking in all of Alex’s words.

“I have just one more question for you,” Alex breathed softly, “Do you have any idea how rare it is to find someone like Kara? Because I assure you, the odds of it happening once were astronomical. She was born on a planet, tens of light-years away from Earth, Lena. And just the fact that you found each other? You’re never going to find what you have with her, with anyone else, Lena. You’d be giving up your soul mate.”

“I can’t let my mother take anyone else from you, Alex,” Lena shook her head. “I can’t. I’m _sorry_ , but I can’t.” Then, Lena turned and walked back to her office, letting herself inside. She avoided the techs in the room, as she started working.

* * *

 

 _Don't, be scared_  
_'Cause if you can say the words_  
_I don't know why I should care_

Hours later, Lena shifted in her chair, groaning at the overwhelming stiffness in her shoulders, and lower back. Even a top of the line office-chair couldn’t seem to offset the tension that she felt in her shoulders and the rest of her body. She swallowed as her eyes flitted to the clock. It was past lunchtime, already, and the rest of the day was quickly ticking away. Lena reached up to rub the back of her neck with her free hand, while her other grasped the edge of her desk tightly enough to turn her knuckles white. Over the last couple of hours, Lena had gotten better at ignoring the small company of DEO Agents bustling around her office.

She glanced away from her computer screen as her office door opened with a soft creak. Lena’s heart stopped as she laid eyes on Kara for the first time since early that morning. The superhero was currently weighted down with large bags of take-out, that looked to weigh more than the blonde herself did. The truth is, on any other day, Lena probably would have laughed at how adorable Kara looked like this. But today wasn't any other day. Lena's mother had done a good job at sucking the happiness and joy out of Lena's life.

Lena watched as Kara’s eyes flitted rapidly over the entire room, taking in the disheveled office, and the contingent of DEO Agents that were working furiously to pull evidence from every surface. As she began to take in more and more detail, Kara’s eyes flew over the room, processing everything with a speed that no human could ever hope to achieve. “What’s going on?” Kara asked, with her brow tightening in confusion. But Kara already seemed to know exactly what was going on.

“Kara,” The inflection in Lena’s voice was warm, though inside, Lena was a mess of emotion. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

“I – I thought I would bring you lunch,” Kara’s jaw tightened just a little bit, as she read Lena's body language and realized that her presence was unwanted. “I know how you forget to eat when things are crazy at work, and I didn’t want you to go without, so I brought Chinese."

“All that is for me?” Lena asked skeptically.

“Uh…” She could hear Kara’s sudden hesitation in her voice. Kara was at a loss. It was evident in her stormy blue eyes, and in the set of Kara's strong shoulders, “No. I – I was hoping I could join you.” Lena watched as Kara walked over and set the bags down on the coffee table next to the sofa. “But now I can see that I was wrong to presume that you’d want me here.”

 _'Cause here I am_  
_I'm giving all I can_  
_But all you ever do is mess it up_  
_Yeah, I'm right here_  
_I'm trying to make it clear_  
_That getting half of you, just ain't enough_

“Kara,” Lena sighed, not wanting the conversation to take the turn it was threatening to take. "It's not what you think... I promise that it isn't you, okay? I've just got a lot on my plate."

"Okay," Kara swallowed. And Lena could see the skepticism in Kara's expression. “So..." Kara let the word drag out for longer than necessary. "Are you going to tell me why your office is currently overflowing with DEO Agents?” Kara asked again, her voice taut with frustration. Lena had to bite back a groan.

“They - They’re here because my mother paid me a surprise visit this morning,” Lena revealed, finally, causing Kara to stiffen up instantly.

“Oh, Rao,” Kara breathed as she rushed forwards. Any anger or frustration that had been in Kara’s voice before, was no longer anywhere to be found. Instead, Lena heard nothing but worry and concern. “Are you okay?” Kara asked her as she began a quick head-to-toe assessment, as if searching for any sort of injury. It’s a good thing that Kara’s x-ray vision couldn’t detect emotional damage, or Kara's alarms would have been set off.

“I’m fine,” Lena tried to tell her, as she met Kara’s eyes. Lena swallowed as she felt Kara’s gentle hands on her cheeks as the blonde searched her eyes.

“You’re not,” Kara denied her. “What – What did she do?”

“Nothing,” Lena lied. "I'm fine. I promise."

“Come on, Lena,” Kara bit out angrily. “I know you’re lying. What did she do?”

"Kara-"

"Tell me," Kara pleaded. " _Please_."

“She sort of...threatened me,” Lena burst out.

“She threatened to hurt you?” Kara was suddenly livid. In fact, Lena had never seen the usually composed Superhero, so distressed before. It was as if she was fighting back the anger, but it was still winning. The truth is, she’d never seen Kara’s typically clear blue eyes look so stormy.

 _I'm not going to wait until you're done_  
_Pretending you don't need anyone_  
_I'm standing here naked_  
_(Naked, naked)_  
_I'm standing here naked_  
_(Naked, naked)_  
_I'm not going to try 'til you decide_  
_You're ready to swallow all your pride_  
_I'm standing here naked_

“No,” Lena shook her head, and tugged Kara’s hands away from her face, letting them drop. She tried to ignore the sudden look of hurt on Kara’s face, but it became quickly seared into her memory. “Not _me_.”

“Then, who,” Kara questioned. “Who is it that she threatened to hurt?”

“She threatened to hurt,” Lena’s throat suddenly felt unbearably dry. In fact, it felt so dry that it hurt. “Someone that I care about.”

“Who?” Kara asked.

Lena was about to answer her, when the door opened and Alex walked inside. In fact, Lena's jaw was already open, and the sounds had already begun to be produced from her vocal chords, when Alex's voice filled the room.

“Hey, Lena, I just checked in with the people at your apartment, and it would seem that your suspicions were correct. They found a bug in the vase on your dresser.” Alex looked up from her phone a second too late, meeting Kara’s searing gaze with her own. Alex knew then that she was well and truly fucked. Kara was pissed.

“Oh, shit,” Alex choked out.

“Wait a minute,” Kara said as she turned and strode towards Alex. “You _knew? You knew_  about this? You knew that Lena was in danger and you didn’t tell me?”

“She was never in any danger,” Alex found herself arguing. “I was on the phone with her the whole time. And I was here within minutes.”

“Oh, well that makes me feel _worlds_ better,” Kara spoke, with her voice enshrouded in in venom and sarcasm.

“I made sure she was alright,” Alex assured her.

“I don’t care!” Kara hissed. “I can fly, Alex. You were here in minutes? Well, I could have been here in seconds! I should have been here to protect her! She's my girlfriend!”

“Don’t take this out on her, Kara,” Lena piped up. “Please! This... This isn’t her fault! She didn’t tell you, because I asked her not to.”

“What?!” Kara looked undeniably hurt. “But why?” Kara managed to choke out, as she crossed her arms over her chest protectively. She had a hunch that Lena’s next words were going to hurt her.

“Because I didn’t want you here,” Lena told her. “The truth is, I knew that your presence would make everything worse, and so I sought to keep you away. Kara, you and my mother don’t get along. You _never_ have. So I couldn't have you involved. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Kara was upset, and trying to hide it, but it still came through regardless.

"I knew that your presence would turn the encounter into little more than a shouting match, so I - I called Alex _instead_.”

“I helped your mother get you back!” Kara nearly shouted, her hands clenching into fists. “When Rhea took you, I’m the one that helped her get you back!”

“Kara,” Alex sighed, sensing the degree of Kara’s distress.

“Alex would have left you there to die! But I bet you that she didn’t tell you that, did she?” Kara nearly spat.

“That doesn’t matter!” Lena shot back. “Whatever truce that you had that day, is over, Kara. It’s _over!_ ” Then. “God, you’re so protective of me that you never would have let her walk out of here. You would have made the situation significantly worse. Look, I know – I know that you feel like this is some kind of slight to you, Kara, but it’s not. I’m just trying to protect you, okay?”

“I don’t need your protection!” Kara gritted out. “I don’t _need you_ to protect me, Lee.”

“But you do!” Lena shouted. Kara flinched, and Lena suddenly realized that every eye in the room was on them. “You _do need me_ to protect you, Kara,” Lena said in an altogether quieter voice.

“Okay, everyone out!” Alex said as she made eye contact with the others in the room, “The show is over. Let’s give these two a minute alone.” Alex began shooing DEO agents from the room. Lena felt slightly betrayed as Alex followed them out, and shut the door behind her, sealing her and Kara inside.

 _Hey, get out_  
_I've got nothing left to give_  
_And you give me nothing now_  
_Read, my mouth_  
_If you ever want me back_  
_Then your walls need breaking down_

“ _I’m_ the one,” Kara sighed, as she suddenly recognized the fear in Lena’s eyes. “I’m the one she threatened to hurt, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” Lena breathed traitorously. She flinched as Kara turned away from her, and started walking over to the sofa.

“What does she want?” Kara asked as she sank down onto the couch.

“What?” Lena asked innocently.

“Come on, Lena,” Kara scoffed, “I know your mother. There was an ultimatum. There always _is_.” Kara took in a deep breath. “So, I’ll ask you again. What does she want?”

“I’m not going to answer that, Kara,” Lena spoke angrily.

“Why not?” Kara shot back. “We’re dating, Lena. I think I have a right to know what it is that she asked for!” Lena’s reply was merely to clench her jaw. Kara could read the stubbornness in Lena’s eyes, and see the tightness in Lena’s body language. She knew she wouldn’t be getting anything more from her.

“Fine,” Kara bit out, “You don’t have to tell me what it is. But you can't stop me from trying to fix this,” Kara said determinedly, as she stood up from the couch and started moving over towards the balcony.

“You can’t!” Lena said in a panicked voice. The muscles in Kara's arm twitched as Lena grabbed her by the wrist and held on, effectively preventing her from leaving. “You can’t just go off with guns blazing, Kara!”

“Watch me!” Kara said with a defiant look in her bright blue eyes.

"No!" Lena shouted. She was genuinely afraid for Kara's safety.

"Let go of me," Kara demanded, as she brusquely tugged her hand out of Lena's. However, this did little good. The second Kara's limb was free, Lena grabbed it again. "Let go, Lena!"

"You know," Lena snapped. “For someone who is so smart, you are unbelievably dense. Do you realize that she could kill you? Do you even care?”

“Of course I care!” Kara hissed, her eyes flashing in anger. “How dare you! How dare you ask me that, Lena.”

"Stop," Lena ordered her. "Just stop for a moment, and listen to me!  _Please_!" Lena said, as she turned Kara around to face her, “You’re so blinded by your pride that you haven’t even stopped to think about the consequences.” Kara froze as she realized how scared Lena looked. Whether her girlfriend was scared for her, or scared of her, Kara didn't know. But that forced Kara to stop and think. Lena was right. This wasn't who she was. Kara turned away from her girlfriend as she felt tears build behind her eyes. It made them burn. Kara blinked, and suddenly her vision blurred, as they flooded her gaze. Kara took a deep breath, then another and another. Her chest heaved, as she struggled to replace the air in her lungs that she had lost. 

"Kara?" Lena's voice softened. "Kara, look at me," Lena pleaded. Kara just shook her head. She couldn't. She couldn't look at her own girlfriend. It hurt.

"Kara," Lena pressed. " _Please_."

"You don't want me here," Kara told her in a choked voice. "I scare you. Please just _let me go_."

"No," Lena said stubbornly. "That's not true."

"It is," Kara said. "I saw it in your eyes. You made not have said it, but I saw it clear as day."

"I was scared that you would do something dangerous," Lena admitted, "I was scared that you were too strong, and I wouldn't be able to stop you from leaving. But I'm not afraid of you, Kara. I never have been."

"If I hadn't shown up here," Kara began, "If I hadn't ruined everything, would you have told me?"

"Kara-"

"Would you?" Kara's voice boomed through the office. "Please. Just be honest with me."

"I - No," Lena admitted. "I don't think that I would have. I was never in any danger, and-"

"You don't know that!" Kara argued. "For someone who claims to care about her daughter, Lillian sure seems to be doing her damnedest to ruin your life."

"She would never hurt me," Lena assured her with unwavering conviction. Lena felt Kara tug on her grip, testing it.

"Don't," Lena gasped. "Kara, don't!"

"I need to go," Kara breathed.

"Kara," Lena felt the tremors working their way through the muscles beneath her fingertips. Kara was barely hanging on to her control.

"I'm not going to go after her," Kara promised. "I'm not going to hurt anyone, I promise. But you need to let me go."

"Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. But the fact of the matter is, I care about you, Kara,” Lena breathed. “I care about you a lot, and I wasn't going to let you rush off like that. I wasn't going to let you do something you would regret.”

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do,” Kara retorted, as she tugged her hand out of Lena’s.

"You say that, but your actions indicate otherwise," Lena shot back.

“Lena,” Kara sighed, letting out a deep breath. “She’s hurting you. All she ever does is hurt you, and I can’t just stand back and let her anymore. I love you, and this thing with us is important to me. I’m not going to let her-“

"Let her what?" Lena interrupted. "You asked me what she wanted...what her ultimatum was. Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"She told me that I should distance myself from you, or she would come after you," Lena told Kara. "She said that she would never hurt me, but she had no qualms about hurting you."

"And you're thinking about giving her what she wants," Kara stated. Lena was aware it wasn't a question.

"Kara, you need to understand-"

"Do I mean so little to you? That you would just...just cut me out of your life on a whim?"

"Damn it, Kara!" Lena shouted, as her eyes flashed, "Don't you get it? It's not because I care too little, it's because I care too much!"

"Lena," Kara's voice was defeated as she tried to respond.

“I was stupid to think that this could ever work. If this proves anything, it's that this thing with us was a _mistake_ ,” Lena blurted out, before she could really think about the consequences and the hurt that her words would cause.

Kara couldn’t stop the gasp of pain from escaping her as Lena’s words caught up with her. Lena felt immediate remorse for the look of pain on Kara’s face, as the blonde took a step backwards, reeling from the sudden ache that the felt in her chest. Lena reached for her, but Kara flinched away from her touch. Lena knew then, that she’d done irreparable damage to their relationship, in the span of a few seconds. She watched as Kara’s hands clenched involuntarily into fists, as if she was about to do battle. Lena watched as Kara started to close herself off, as a means of protecting herself from further damage.

“Kara,” Lena knew that she had to fix it all somehow. “Kara, wait! I’m – I’m sorry. Please – _Please_ don’t misunderstand me. I just meant-“

“No, I think I understand  _perfectly_ ,” Kara muttered quietly, as her eyes flashed in hurt. There was so much more that Kara wasn’t saying. Lena could see it there, lingering just beneath the surface. Every fear, every doubt, every insecurity laid bare for Lena to see. And it hurt like hell that she'd been the one to bring that to the surface.

 _'Cause here I am_  
_I'm giving all I can_  
_But all you ever do is mess it up_  
_Yeah, I'm right here_  
_I'm trying to make it clear_  
_That getting half of you, just ain't enough_

“Kara,” Lena sighed. “I’m begging you,” Lena spoke, “Just – Just hear me out. Don't take my words and run with them, okay? This - This whole thing is extremely complicated and I'd hate for you to get the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea? What is there to misinterpret, Lena?” Kara bit out. “Tell me. Just what is it that I’ve gotten wrong? You called us a mistake - a _mistake_ , Lena. You can’t be much more direct than that.”

“No,” Lena was panicking now. Lena felt her voice tremble as she spoke. “No, that’s not what I meant. Kara, you know that I could never regret you.”

“But you do!” Kara hissed, her words overflowing with pain. Kara shook her head, “You think that _I_ am a mistake. You think that _we_ were a mistake.”

“No,” Lena couldn't hide the desperation in her voice. “No, never! At least, not in the way that you're thinking.” Lena’s voice broke. She couldn’t bear that she’d hurt Kara like that. “I love you, Kara.”

“ _Don’t_! Don’t you _dare_ say that to me right now!” Kara shouted as tears overflowed from her own eyes, and streamed down her face. “Not after what you just said to me!”

“Kara,” Lena’s vision blurred as she felt hot tears build in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you. I- I'm just as hurt as you are by this situation, and I let my feelings get the better of me. I regret a lot of things in my life, but not you... _never_ you.”

“Just tell me why,” Kara said in a broken voice, as she choked back a sob. Then, she couldn’t help but ask, “Is it – Is it because of who I am? Is it because of what I told you? Do I – Do I disgust you? Does the fact that I’m an alien disgust you?”

“No,” Lena shook her head, “No, you know that I fully support you. This doesn’t have anything to do with that.”

“So it’s just _me_ , then,” Kara swallowed, her voice thick as she spoke her next words, “ _I’m_ the problem.”

“Kara,” Lena’s voice was pleading now. She would have dropped to her knees, if she thought it would help. But Kara was utterly closed off to her now. She might as well be speaking to a wall.

"No," Kara scoffed. "I get it. Believe it or not, I really do understand." These words hurt Lena more than anything else that Kara had said to her so far. "In fact, I understand more than you could ever know." Kara told her with hurt in her voice.

“Kara, Please,” Lena said as she grabbed a hold of Kara’s hand in her own. “I don’t want to lose you. I _can’t_ lose you. You’re my _best friend_. Please.” Lena let out a sound of protest as Kara wrenched her hand from her own.

“I can’t,” Kara said, as she shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t look at you right now. And if you're going to distance yourself from me, I think that it'll be a lot easier for the both of us if it's a clean break.”

“Kara-“

“I promise you, I’m not the kind of person to turn my back on a friend,” Kara murmured in a quiet voice. “But I need some time to deal with this. If you need my help, you know how to reach me,” Kara told her, “Otherwise, you need to give me some space.”

“Kara-“

“Alex will take care of you if you need anything,” Kara spoke while avoiding Lena altogether, “You seem to like her better than me, anyway.”

“Kara, that's not true. It's _not_ ,” Lena told her passionately. In a fit of desperation, Lena attempted to grab a hold of Kara’s arm. "You're my favorite person in the whole world. Just _don't_ _do this_."

“Let me _go_ ,” Kara said.

“No,” Lena spoke obdurately.

“I said let me go, Lena!” Kara shouted in a booming voice. Then, she spoke in a smaller and quieter one, “I don’t want to hurt you. Just - Just let me go!”

“Please,” Lena’s pleas went unheard as Kara wrenched her arm out of Lena’s grasp. In several long strides Kara was to the door of her balcony.

“Can you really tell me that you would have chosen a relationship with me, over your own safety?” Lena’s question caught Kara by the door. Lena sucked in a sharp breath, as Kara turned, with her hand lingering on the handle of the door to her balcony.

“As a matter of fact, I _can_ ,” Kara bit out icily, “But I guess that doesn’t really matter, now does it? Because you never even gave me the choice.” With that, Kara threw open the door, and stormed through it, leaving her words and Lena in her wake.

 _I'm not going to wait until you're done_  
_Pretending you don't need anyone_  
_I'm standing here naked_  
_(Naked, naked)_  
_I'm standing here naked_  
_(Naked, naked)_

Before Lena could stop her, the blonde was gone. Lena let out a scream of loss as she was left standing in her office, with the door to the balcony standing wide open.

Lena stalked over to her desk and let out a roar of a scream as she swept everything from its surface with sweep of her arm. Things clattered to the floor with the tinkling of broken glass. But Lena couldn't bear to look at them. Lena squeezed her eyes shut, and grabbed a hold of the edge of the desk so tightly with her hands, that she could vaguely feel the glass cut into her palms. She struggled to catch her breath for several long minutes, as tears streamed down her face. She suddenly wished that she could go back in time. In fact, she would have given anything to go back in time in order to stop herself from opening her stupid mouth. She hated herself for hurting Kara – Kara who would never hurt a fly. God, how could she have been so heartless? And how on earth had a day that had started off so perfectly, turned into one that was such an utter disaster?

 _I'm not going to try 'til you decide_  
_You're ready to swallow all your pride_  
_I'm standing here naked_

* * *

 

 

Hours later, when Lena turned on the TV, her heart clenched as she saw images of Supergirl plastered on its screen. Lena stopped breathing as she watched Kara fight an alien that was nearly three times her size. The alien was so large in fact, that it was able to lift a car as if it was nothing more than a toy and throw it at the caped Superhero. Kara only just managed to roll out of the way, as the car crashed into the place where Kara had been standing just a moment before. The creature's strength was certainly on par with that of Supergirl's. Lena gasped, as the alien charged Kara, knocking into Kara with all the force of a bulldozer. It sent Kara's body flying into a large concrete pylon, whose purpose was to hold up a highway interchange on the edge of the city. Lena watched as the pylon disintegrated on impact, and chunks of concrete were sent raining down, falling to the ground below. Kara was slow to get up from her place on the ground, as she reeled from the impact. Lena’s eyes never left her, as Kara climbed slowly to her feet, just as the bridge overhead gave out and dropped towards the ground. Kara flew up and caught it at the last second, holding it off of the ground. Kara flew the segment of road back into place, and used two blasts of her heat vision, to weld the metal beams back into place. Kara reluctantly let go of it, as if to test that it would hold. When she was satisfied that it would hold, at least for now, Kara let go. The alien let out a roar, and took advantage of Kara’s vulnerable position, to attack. Lena felt her heart stutter, as she watched the alien’s large claws slice deep into the flesh of Kara’s side. Lena could see that the suit had been no match for the creature's claws either. There were several large gashes in the blue fabric. Kara let out a scream full of pain, and dropped to the ground, as she pressed a hand to her side. Lena watched in horror, as the alien started throwing punches, railing into Kara with Earth shattering blows that Kara did nothing to combat.

“What are you doing, Kara?” Lena screamed at the television. “Fight! Come on, fight!” But Kara wasn’t fighting. She was just lying there, taking blow after blow of the alien's fists. Lena watched as blood from Kara’s side began to soak the pavement beneath her body. Lena couldn’t believe what she was seeing. All fight had gone out of Kara, in a way that Lena was never fully prepared to see. She watched and she knew…Lena had done that to her. She’d taken away Kara’s will to survive.

Lena let out a sigh of relief as Black SUVs sped to a stop, on the edge of the scene. She watched as Alex jumped out of one just as it came to a complete stop, and lifted a large cannon to her shoulder. Without any hesitation whatsoever, Alex pulled the trigger and shot the alien in the back. It dropped to the concrete with a deafening roar. Alex dropped the cannon to the ground and rushed towards her sister. Lena watched as Alex started tending to the wounded Superhero. She sprinkled some quick clot onto the long gashes covering Kara’s torso, and lifted her up from the ground, throwing Kara’s arm around her own shoulder. Lena nearly laughed as Alex turned her head towards her sister and started shouting at Kara with a look of fury on her beautiful features. Clearly, she had been just as upset by Kara’s lack of a fight as Lena had been. Kara, at least, had the decency to look guilty, as Alex helped her into the back of the SUV. The newsfeed cut off, just as the SUV sped off in the direction of the DEO.

* * *

 

Several days later, after over two bottles of wine, Lena had the brilliant idea that she was going to try and win Kara back. She clumsily dug her old boom box out of the closet, burned a mixed CD, and called her driver to pick her up. At three in the morning, Lena went over to Kara’s apartment. She clambered out onto the street, hit play on the large boom box, and lifted it onto her shoulder. She cranked up the volume, and let it play. She tried to sing along with it, the best she could. And after a minute or two, Lena started receiving angry shouts from other people in the building, as Lena woke them up. Lena only started singing louder.

“Are you out of your God-damned mind?” A voice snapped from beside her, causing her to turn.

“Lena,” Alex wore a look of disbelief on her features. Lena was all too aware of how the elder Danvers had a badge held out with one hand, while a gun was trained on her with the other. “What in the hell?”

“Hi,” Lena looked somewhat sheepish, as _Let Me Love the Lonely_ continued to blast out of the speakers.

“What are you doing out here?” Alex asked her.

“I came to win her back!” Lena said proudly, as if it were a brilliant idea that Alex would be proud of.

“Oh man,” Alex breathed, looking slightly guilty. “Hey, would you mind turning that off? I really don’t want them to call the actual cops.”

“Not until she comes down here,” Lena told her stubbornly, “I’ve already decided that I’ll stand out here all night long if I have to.”

“Lena,” Alex sighed, “Look, I’m…I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but Kara isn’t here.”

“Then I’ll wait until she is,” Lena huffed.

“No,” Alex shook her head, and then slowly said, “You don’t seem to understand. Kara isn’t in National City.”

“What?” Lena’s eyes flashed. The boom box on her shoulder suddenly seemed as if it weighted a thousand pounds.

“J’onn – J’onn and I convinced her to hang up her cape and take a much needed break,” Alex revealed, “after she almost got herself killed a few days ago. She left National City.” Alex seemed to sense how defeated Lena was, because she hit the pause button and lifted the boom box from Lena’s shoulder. She carefully set it down on the concrete.

“Where is she?” Lena asked. “And when is she coming back?”

“In D.C., visiting a friend,” Alex replied, “And I don’t know. She said she’d stay there for a while. She’s on leave from work, so it could be a while before she comes back.”

“Oh my god,” Lena breathed, as she sank down and sat on the concrete, “This is my fault, isn’t it? All of this is my fault.”

“I told you not to hurt her,” Alex said as she sat down next to her. “I warned you, Lena.”

“I know. I know you did. I’m really sorry.”

“Look, I know you didn’t mean what you said to her. But that’s the thing. Once you say something like that, it’s impossible to take it back. Kara will forgive you eventually, but she probably won’t trust you in the same way as before. That’s something – that’s something that you're going to have to earn back.”

“I wish I could go back,” Lena spoke through her tears, “I wish I could take it all back. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Alex.”

“I know,” Alex, murmured quietly, as she pulled Lena into her arms. “Shh, I know. It’s okay, Lena. It’s gong to be okay. Look, my sister loves you. You – You may have hurt her, but she loves you and she’ll forgive you. She just – she’s going to need some time.” Then, “Now come on. It’s cold out here. Let’s get you inside.”

“If she’s gone, then why are you here?” Lena questioned.

“I promised her that I would house-sit for her a couple of nights a week,” Alex responded, as she tugged Lena to her feet, “Just to make sure that all of her stuff is okay. She didn’t take a lot with her to D.C., so most of her stuff is still here.”

“You said she was visiting a friend?” Lena asked as Alex lifted her boom box, and began to carry it inside.

“Well, that might’ve been stretching the truth just a little bit. She’s actually there in order to help out Cat Grant. Apparently, Cat wasn’t pleased with her assistant, and so she asked for Kara's help. She asked her to fill-in in the interim, and help her select a new assistant. Kara tried to turn her down, of course, but one thing you should probably know about Cat Grant, is that she always gets what she wants.” Alex told her. “I’m not sure that I’d call her a friend. But…I guess you could. I mean, Kara was her assistant for almost two years, and she’s always been good at giving Kara advice. I sorta hoped that maybe she would be able to help Kara get her head on straight again.”

“Were they ever,” Lena let her voice trail off for a moment, before she gathered up enough courage to ask, “Were they ever involved?” Alex nearly choked on the air in her lungs.

“Oh my god,” Alex gasped. “Are you for real?” Then, quickly. “No!” Alex looked mildly nauseated as she said, “God, no! And if they were, I don’t think I’d ever want to know. Cat was always like a mentor to Kara. But they weren't that close. The truth is, she couldn’t even be bothered to pronounce Kara’s name correctly, for like the first year that Kara worked for her. She was a bit of a nightmare, really, and I told Kara on numerous occasions that she should just quit. But Kara always insisted that Cat was a good person.”

“Huh,” Lena spoke thoughtfully, “Sounds kind of like us.”

“Lena,” Alex chastised her.

“What?!” Lena shot back, “I’m just trying to figure out if I should be worried or not? I don’t _want_ to be jealous, but the truth is, I kind of am. And the worst part of all of this is, it’s my own damned fault! Kara wouldn’t even be there if it wasn’t for me. I broke her heart.”

“She’s not going to do that, Lena,” Alex promised as she opened Kara’s door and led the way inside. “She would never do that to you, no matter how badly you hurt her. That just isn’t her style. That said…you can’t go to D.C. right now, and try to win her back. Kara needs time. And you need to give it to her.”

“I wasn’t…” Lena protested, even though she really was.

“Yes you were,” Alex shot back. “I can see the gears turning in that pretty little head of yours, Lena.”

“Fine,” Lena huffed. “Maybe I was thinking about it. I don't think you realize how hard this is for me. I don't want to lose her. I'm scared.”

“I know you are, but I promise you that you won’t lose her. Kara just needs some time. Look, why don’t you try to get some shut eye,” Alex suggested, “You can take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, “I’m actually pretty used to sleeping on this thing by now. So it’s no problem.”

“Thanks for this, Alex” Lena said as she wandered into the bedroom.

“You’re welcome,” Alex shouted at her from the couch, as Lena lowered herself onto the bed and shut her eyes. “Now get some sleep, Luthor. I’ve got work in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs and hides* I'm really sorry for what I just did, but this was the plan all along. Sometimes couples have to go through trials and tribulations. And in this case, I think it will make Supercorp stronger (at least in the end). We just have to get through the rocky stuff, first.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. If you have a minute to leave a like or a comment, I would be forever grateful. Feedback helps me more than you know! Thanks for all the love and support! I'm extremely grateful for you all. I love you guys! :)


	13. (Everything Leads) Back to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara spends some time in D.C. doing some soul searching. Cat Grant helps Kara get her head on straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I'm so very sorry it's been so long since the last update. I've been working a lot (sometimes putting in over 70 hours a week) which has left me little time to do much else. I've also been suffering from some pretty serious writer's block, which has made writing an impossibility. 
> 
> I appreciate you all for having patience with me. I means a lot!

Two weeks later…

Kara sat slightly hunched over, staring down at the thin newspaper laid out across her countertop. It had a few small tears in the creases from when she’d turned its pages just a little too vigorously. The words seemingly blurred together, as Kara read them with tired, sore eyes. And even though the words on its pages were printed in an easily readable generic black and white font, it still seemed impossible for Kara to decipher. Kara groaned in discomfort as her head pounded incessantly. She’d been losing more and more control over her senses, and more often than not, Kara felt overwhelmed living in the city that served as the very heart and soul of the nation. Kara squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to rub away the tension in her temples and her forehead, before finally pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. She applied pressure to her eyes with her thumb and forefinger, hoping to ease the throbbing behind her eyelids. She hadn’t slept in days - weeks now, due to the fact that her mind refused to let go of what happened between her and Lena. Her mind continuously replayed the minutes that had irrevocably changed everything between them.

It had been 18 days, 7 hours and roughly 37 seconds, since her last conversation with her best friend, and Kara couldn’t help but wonder where on earth things had gone so terribly wrong. One minute they’d been exchanging passionate kisses in Lena’s dining room, and the next? The next they’d been fighting in Lena’s office.

Kara couldn’t help but blame Lillian. The matriarch of the Luthor household had gotten her way. She didn’t even have to make good on her threats. After all, it was Kara and Lena who had torn themselves apart under the mere threat.

Kara had been wrong to try and go rushing off after a fight. She could be absolutely sure about that now. In fact, Kara couldn’t stop kicking herself for her own foolishness. She’d done exactly what Lena feared. She’d let her emotions get the best of her. She’d let her feelings rule her mind and her heart, and now she’d lost the person that meant the most to her.

She should have listened to her girlfriend. She should have known better than to put Lena in an impossible situation. Even so, it was too late to go back and fix that now. For better or worse, they had chosen their sides. And they were on opposite sides of the ever-growing chasm near which they found themselves. It was over. It was over, and Kara was alone again.

Kara felt unshed tears burn beneath her closed eyelids, as she recognized defeat and the ever-present reality. She was alone. For better or worse, she would _always_ be alone. The fact is, she had to. It was the only way she could be sure that those that she loved would never have to experience the pain of loss in the way that she had.

Kara’s eyes blinked open, as she felt the buzz of her phone going off next to her hand. She could feel each of the vibrations coursing through the material of her countertop. Each of the shocks coursed up through her fingertips, causing the muscles in her fingers and forearms to twitch unnecessarily.

Kara quickly scooped up her phone and hit the accept button. She knew it could only be one person.

“Hey,” Kara replied weakly.

“Hey,” Alex’s voice was soft and tentative, seemingly picking up on the fact that Kara sounded a little rough around the edges, and was worn just a little too far past her limits. “Not to sound like a nag, but you sound…”

“Like hell?” Kara answered.

“Well, I was going to try and sugar coat it a little bit, but yeah,” Alex replied. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is I haven’t slept in over two weeks,” Kara groaned, as her head sunk onto her hand. She could feel her elbow press down, where it rested against the coolness of the countertop. “And I can hear every single sound made by the people in this city. Every horn, every shout, every heartbeat…just _everything_.”

“That bad?” Alex sounded worried. “You haven’t lost control like this since…”

"I _know_ ,” Kara grumbled. She sounded defeated, and resigned.

“Maybe I was wrong to try and talk you into this,” Alex sounded as if she were feeling guilty – as if she felt responsible for all of the pain in Kara’s mind, and in her soul. “It’s just… After what happened with that alien, you – you needed a break.” Alex sighed. “I needed you to start caring about yourself again. It almost killed you and you didn’t fight. You didn’t even _try_ to stop it from killing you.”

“I know,” Kara sighed, “It wasn’t one of my finer moments.”

“Are you going to be okay?” Alex asked. “Do you need me to come to D.C.?”

“No,” Kara shook her head. “No, you've already got your hands full without me there. You can’t leave J'onn alone.”

“Have you been eating, at least?” Alex asked her.

“Is the sky blue?” Kara joked.

“Come on, Kara, I’m being serious right now,” Alex said seriously, her voice almost stern.

“Yes, I'm eating. I’ve practically been eating my weight in food,” Kara answered her. “And hey, If you don’t believe me, feel free to consult my bank account.” Kara swallowed over the sudden lump that came to her throat, as her eyes drifted over the uneaten food littering her countertop - meals upon meals of things that Kara hadn’t quite been able to stomach.

“Alright,” Alex relented, “I believe you.”

“Good,” Kara replied in a gruff voice. “Look, I...I should really get going, it’s getting late, and I’ve wasted too much time already. Cat is going to freak out if I'm late.”

“Okay,” Alex sighed, “Just try and have a good day, okay?”

“I will,” Kara promised.

“I love you, Kar,” Alex told her.

“I love you, too,” Kara told her thickly, her voice betraying just how much she missed her sister. “Say hi to Maggie for me?”

“Will do,” Alex promised. "I'll talk to you soon, Kar.” Kara voiced her assent, before she said goodbye again. This time, Kara heard the click as Alex hung up. Kara squeezed the countertop just a little too hard in her hands as she was hit with the sudden, crushing weight of loneliness. The feeling just about crushed her under its weight.

An hour later, Kara’s breaths were heavy and labored, as she hurriedly jogged her way down the sidewalk and across the street, with her boots thudding heavily on the pavement. Kara had to be mindful not to run too fast, something that was honestly expending more conscious thought than the simple act of jogging ever could. Kara currently had about a thousand thoughts that were running through her mind, and it was a bit of a chore not to forget about any one of them. She had meetings to set up, articles to send back to Snapper at Catco, and a fair amount of things that Kara had to consciously remind herself  _not_ think about. Which she had a terrible track record with, considering the fact that thoughts of Lena seemed to force their way into her every activity. Part of the problem is that nearly everything reminded her of the brunette. And memories of her best friend assailed her when Kara was least expecting it. Kara was helpless to stop them.

Kara couldn’t help but let out a frustrated groan as she felt her phone start going off in her pocket. Kara quickly pulled her phone from her pocket. She held it in her hand for one euphoric moment, before that moment quickly shattered. A noise broke Kara's concentration, and she subsequently fumbled with it. The device was actually airborne for several fractions of a moment as it bounced off of her fingertips. Kara frantically reached out for the device, trying to catch it before it tumbled to the concrete. 

Kara made a sudden play for the device, leaping forward.

Just as her hand managed to close around the device, Kara let out a sharp breath, as she collided with something unexpected. _Correction_. Something unexpectedly collided with _her_. Kara felt her legs get taken out from underneath her, and she came down hard on the hood of a car in the middle of the street with the sound of crumpling metal. Kara tried to absorb some of the blow, but she’d been unprepared for the sudden incursion and her feet hadn’t been anchored to the concrete. The car came to a screeching halt, and Kara felt herself tumble down onto the street below, letting out a loud “Omfph,” as she hit the concrete face first. She could hear chaos break out all around her as people reacted to the sights and sounds of the accident. Kara squeezed her eyes shut, her head suddenly aching, as she couldn’t shut out the sound of the horn, and the driver’s hysterical screams. She struggled to compartmentalize the nearby noises and sounds, breathing in the way that Jeremiah once showed her, as she struggled to make sense of the world around her without overwhelming her senses. Finally, Kara was able to shut out most of the unimportant sounds. However, one of the sounds that Kara tuned into was that of the heavy and rapid footfalls of a nearby officer as he sprinted to her aid.

“I need an ambulance,” he spoke into his radio, as he grew near. She heard him ramble off the address in a quavering voice, and she instantly knew that he was scared and most likely in way over his head. “I’ve got a young female....looks to be in her mid-20’s. She’s just been hit by a car in the middle of crosswalk. It looks bad.”

“Is she dead?” the middle-aged driver asked the officer as they scrambled out of the car behind Kara. “I swear that I didn’t mean to hit her! She came out of nowhere.”

The officer held up a hand, as he stopped a foot or so away from Kara. “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to step back. Give us some space.”

“I’m so sorry,” the lady was actually really broken up over it. “I've never hurt anyone before in my life. _Please_ … Please help her.”

Kara chose that moment to let out a low groan, and started moving lethargically on the concrete. She was confident that she’d given herself enough time between the time of the collision, and the time of her initial stirring. Kara rolled over onto her back, so that she was facing the sky. Her glasses were gone - most likely tossed somewhere during the force of the collision, or crushed. Kara groped at the concrete beneath her hands, focusing on the textures that scraped against her exploratory palm. She made a move as if to push herself up from the concrete, but her progress was stopped by two unbelievably gentle hands pressing down against her. She felt him assert a gentle pressure, keeping her down against the concrete.

“Miss,” the officer’s voice was gentle, “I know you're probably confused. But I’m going to have to ask you to stay still. You’ve just been in an accident. Do you know where you are?”

“Yeah,” Kara spoke in a weak voice, “I - I was on my way to work.”

“Oh? And where do you work at?” he asked her gently.

“The White House,” Kara replied in a gravelly voice, before letting out another groan.

“You work at the White House?” the officer sounded genuinely surprised.

“Yeah,” Kara’s eyes blinked open to meet the soft gaze of a handsome young man with a short buzz cut, and the deepest brown eyes that Kara had ever seen. “I’m – I’m an assistant. I work for Cat Grant. She’s the White House…”

“Press Secretary,” he finished for her.

"Yeah," Kara responded, before blinking again. She couldn't help but squint against the bright light of the sun. 

“What’s your name?” he asked her. He was little more than an imposing shadow now. Then, he moved and blocked the sun. And Kara could see again. She saw a faint blush blossom to life upon his masculine cheeks, as he caught himself and remembered the kind of questions he should be asking her. “I mean – you look to have hit your head pretty hard. Do you know what day it is? Do you remember your name?”

“Yeah,” Kara nodded she could feel the concrete beneath her shoulders. It was cold through against her skin, where the fabric had ridden up. “It’s Tuesday. At about 6:30 a.m. And my name…my name is Kara, Kara Danvers.”

“Are you in any pain right now, Kara?” he asked her with a furrowed brow, as he knelt down over her and started a rapid assessment, running his hands over in a way that normally would have made her blush, but in a way that also had a reasonable explanation given the circumstances. She knew he was just checking her for any serious, life-threatening injuries.

“No,” she shook her head. She let out a gasp, as the officer finally thought to reach back behind her head. She felt his fingers probe around the bun at the back of her head, feeling out the scalp and the bone beneath.

“You’re going to be okay,” he promised. “I can hear the ambulance getting close now. It’s almost here.”

“I – That’s not really necessary,” Kara told him. “I… think I’m okay.”

“The shock of what happened could be keeping you from feeling your greater injuries,” he told her. “I’ve never heard of someone walking away from an accident like this before.”

“I really…I really have to get to work,” Kara pressed, as she struggled weakly. “ _Please_. Cat will have my neck if I’m late.”

“Kara, hey,” his voice softened, as he gently fought her efforts to get up from the ground. “I know you’re worried about work right now, but you’ve also got to think about yourself. You could be seriously hurt. _Please_. At least wait until the ambulance gets here, and let them check you out before you make any major decisions.”

“Okay,” Kara sighed. She didn’t know what it was about this stranger that made her want to listen, but she reckons that maybe it was his eyes. There was something about his doe-like brown eyes that drew her in. She could tell that he genuinely cared about her, and her well-being - perhaps even more than _she cared_ about herself at the moment. “Okay, Officer-“ Kara realized that she didn’t know his name.

“Rasco,” his lips quirked up into a gentle, almost apprehensive smile, “Jeremy Rasco.”

And that was how Kara became fast friends with a complete stranger - a stranger, who funnily enough, worked at the White House as a Secret Service Agent.

Later, over drinks, Jeremy told Kara that she was one of the luckiest people he’d ever met.

“Seriously, I’ve never seen anyone walk away from an accident like that before,” Jeremy said to her as he dramatically waved his beer around over the table. “I mean... you did more damage to _that car_ , than it did to _you_. You didn’t even have a scratch on you that I could tell.”

"She must've had her Wheaties that day," Billy joked. 

“I know it seems like I walked away without a scratch, but you should have seen me the day after,” Kara said to allay suspicion. “I had bruises _everywhere_.”

“I guess I’ll have to take your word on that,” Jeremy said, with a skeptical eyebrow rise.

“Oh, for Christ sake,” one of Jeremy’s good friends, Ryan, burst out, “You’ve got to let it go, man! That happened…what? Like two weeks ago?” Then he turned to Kara. “I swear, it’s like he thinks you’re a _Super_ or something.”

Kara laughed loudly, as if the idea couldn’t possibly be more preposterous.

“Well, who knows? Maybe I am!” Kara declared boldly, earning her a snickering laugh from the other Secret Service agents at the table.

“That and he’s got…like this _massive_ crush on you,” Ryan declared.

“Ryan!” Jeremy burst out in indignation, with a heavy flush to his cheeks. “Oh for fuck’s sake, we’ve covered this before. She’s got a girlfriend!”

“Kara, I’m seriously sorry for this doofus over here,” Jeremy apologized, as he waved a hand vaguely in Ryan’s direction. “He’s clearly had too much to drink, and the alcohol must have addled his brain. I don’t have a _crush_ on you, per sé. I just…I admire you a lot, that’s all.

“It’s okay,” Kara laughed. "I get it. I-" Kara trailed off as her phone chimed, showing an incoming notification. Kara lifted her phone up, and blanched as she saw it was a text from Lena. It read in six simple words, but those words affected Kara more than she could ever prepare herself for.

_Please come home. I miss you._

“Hey,” Jeremy’s expression softened as he saw the change in her instantly. “Kara, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kara quickly shook herself out of whatever emotional turmoil she was feeling, and forced a smile onto her face. She dropped her phone onto the table. “It’s nothing. Just a text.”

“Ooo, let me see,” he said as he grabbed for her phone. “If somebody’s harassing you, I'd be happy to give them a piece of my mind.”

“No, wait!” she called out, but it was too late. He’d clearly already seen the message. And it was clear that he knew it was personal, because he suddenly looked sheepish.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Jeremy apologized. “I didn’t realize…”

“It’s okay,” Kara tried to reassure him. But it wasn’t okay. Not really.

“Lena is the missus, I take it?” he asked. He had to guess because Kara had never put a name to the girl she said had taken her heart.

“Yeah,” Kara swallowed over the gaping lump that was suddenly taking up residence in her throat.

“You should call her,” he told Kara in a hushed voice, as he bumped shoulders with her.

“I – I can’t,” Kara shook her head. “Look, there’s a lot that I haven’t told you, but the short of it is that we had a bad fight. I’m not even sure we’re still together, honestly. It’s been a while since we’ve spoken.”

Kara’s phone chimed again, this time she felt her chest clench in response.

_I’m sorry. I love you, Kara. Please… Please just come home. Come home, and we can talk._

“Look, I know that it’s not any of my business, but I think you should think about it. I mean - maybe she’s ready to talk about what happened. You don’t randomly text someone _that_ at 1 o'clock in the morning, unless you really do _love them_ and really do _miss them_.”

“She might be ready,” Kara replied softly, “But the truth is, _I’m_ not. She really hurt me, Jeremy.”

“Is she nearby?” he asked. “Maybe if you saw her face to face you could…”

“No,” Kara shook her head, “No, she’s not close by. She’s in National City.”

“Damn,” he swore, “You moved across the country? She really must have done a number on you, if you up and left the city.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Kara sighed. “Shit! Did you say it was one in the morning?”

“Yeah, like five sentences ago,” Ryan laughed.

“Shit,” Kara swore as she jumped up, “I’ve got to get home. I’ve got work first thing in the morning, and I can’t be late again. Cat was understanding about the whole ‘accident’ thing, but I can’t expect her to be that forgiving again.”

“Here, I’ll walk you,” Jeremy said as he stood up.

“You really don’t have to,” Kara said as she met his gaze, “It’s only a few blocks.” But she could tell that his decision had already been made. He was already pulling on his jacket and was throwing down some paper bills in order to cover the tip.

“Nonsense,” Jeremy said, “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t make sure that you got home safe and sound? You may be the luckiest human that I’ve ever met, but I’m not about to test that out again.”

Kara bid everyone a good night, and led the way out of the bar. She felt her phone chime again in her pocket, and pulled it out.

_You may not be ready to forgive me yet, and that’s okay. I just want you to know that I’ll be waiting here for you when you do._

_L-_

When Kara woke up the next morning, the first thing she did was check her phone for any new messages. She had a few work related ones, but not any more from a certain Billionaire CEO philanthropist. Kara doesn’t know why a part of her felt let down. She was torn. Part of her wanted Lena to just leave her alone. But another, much larger part of her wanted Lena to continue to fight for her – to fight for _them_.

Kara let out a curse as she realized her morning was already off to a bad start. She’d slept through two alarms, which put her back a whole 15 minutes. She was going to have to hurry, and make up some time, if she didn’t want to be chewed out for being late.

Forty-five minutes later, Kara bounded down the sidewalk, ignoring the curious glances of other White House Senior staff, as she ran just a little too fast to be considered humanly possible. Every so often she’d call out breathless greetings to the people she knew by name - mainly people that had been friendly to her since her start at the White House. Kara glanced at her watch, and let out a silent curse. Of all the days to be late, she had to pick this one. She knew for a fact, that Cat had a meeting scheduled with the Press Corps, first thing.

“Late night?” Jeremy teased her as she bolted past his post.

“Oh, please!” Kara shot back, “You know it was! You were with me the whole time!”

“How many alarms did you sleep through this time?” he called after her.

“Two,” Kara pouted. To which his response was chortling laughter.

“I hate you!” Kara called out to him.

“No you don’t!” he shot back with a waggle of his brows. “Watch out for that lamp-post!” he warned her. Kara turned back around just in time to avoid colliding with the metal pole. She stumbled for a few steps, but then caught herself and kept running. She didn’t look back again. In another few seconds, she reached the door.

Finally, with a flick of Kara’s wrist she threw open the door. She jogged down the hallway, and slowed just in time. She waltzed into the bullpen, trying to steady her breathing.

“Hey,” Caldwell greeted as she plopped down into a chair next to him. Their usual setup had been seemingly hijacked. Instead, the Press room had been turned into a sort of conference room.

“Hey,” Kara greeted, sounding slightly out of breath.

“You run here?” he asked her with a teasing smile. “You seem just a little out of shape.”

“Shut up,” Kara teased back. Her smile told him that she was kidding.

“Good morning, everyone,” Kara heard Cat Grant, her boss, greet as she strode into the room at precisely 7:30a.m. on the dot.

Kara noted how everyone suddenly sat up a little straighter in his or her seat. Cat Grant was the sort of boss that commanded your respect. However, even Cat Grant couldn’t seem to bring life to the masses, if the cacophony of less than heartfelt “Good mornings,” were anything to by.

“Alright,” she said finally, as she flipped over the board in the center of the room so that the photos and information on it was visible. “Let’s get down to it,” she said as she pointed to the board. Everyone listened as Cat broke down an upcoming Summit that the White House was about to hold. Everyone in the room was silent as they quickly scribbled down all of the details that Cat and the President of the United States were willing to share with them about the event.

“I just got out of a meeting with President Marsdin, and I assured her there would be _no_ funny business from the Press Corps this year. Please just remember that trying to pit State leaders against each other, does _us_ , and _them_ , _no_ _favors_. It detracts from the event itself, and the goals that we are trying to accomplish. So _please_ …before you stand in the White House Press room and try and ask me _idiotic_  questions, _think_ _about_ whether it’s something that the American people really _need_ to know or not.” Cat Grant cleared her throat, and Kara shifted in her chair as Cat’s eyes fell on her. Kara instantly knew she was in deep trouble. “That is all. Get to work everyone,” Cat Grant ordered the room. “Kara,” she said as she made eye contact with her, “With me.” Kara practically pounced from her chair, and followed Cat from the room at a steady clip.

Kara stiffened as Cat spoke to her under her breath.

“You were late,” Cat told her in a voice that left no room for argument, “Don’t think I didn’t notice you darting in at the last possible minute.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Grant,” Kara spoke to her in an apologetic voice. “The truth is, I didn’t sleep well last night, and-“

“Did it sound like I was asking for excuses, Kara?” Cat cut her off with a wave of her hand. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Of course. It won’t happen again, Miss Grant,” Kara assured her. “I promise!”

“Now what’s on the agenda for the day?” Cat asked her. Kara pulled out her logbook, and quickly started rattling off her schedule, including all the briefings and meetings down to the last minute. “And for lunch, I scheduled a quick meal with Ol-“ Kara only just managed to catch herself “…with the President.”

“In a covert location, I hope,” Cat, said in a hushed voice, “People are starting to talk. They think we’re dating.”

“Well, aren’t you?” Kara asked in a baffled voice. The truth is, pretty much everyone knew that Cat Grant and Olivia Marsden were having an affair. Kara’s cheeks quickly colored in horror as she realized she’d spoken that last bit out loud. This was one of those foot-in-mouth moments if Kara had ever had one.

“Does it seem like that’s any of your business?” Cat told her. “My personal life is no business of yours, Kara, or _anyone_ _else’s_ for that matter.”

“You’re right – I,” Kara suddenly fumbled with her notebook. “I’m sorry. That was _stupid_ of me. And I promise that I’ll make sure that I’m more discreet from now on.”

“See that you are,” Cat told her.

“For what it’s worth?” Kara couldn’t help herself from saying this one last bit, “You guys are really good for each other. I’m glad you found each other.”

“That means a lot,” Cat seemed to forget herself for a moment. But soon enough, Cat’s mask was back. “Now, shoo… I’ve got work to do, and so do you. Don’t make me regret giving you this once in a lifetime opportunity, Kara.” Kara fled from the room before Cat could say anything else.

Many, many hours later, Kara was still hard at work. Many of the other reporters and senior staff had gone home hours ago, but Kara was still crafting Cat’s schedule for the next coming days. She was scribbling things down in her notebook with one hand, while typing efficiently at her computer with her other. She was also talking on the phone with a Senators aide, trying to procure a meeting for the coming day.

The phone was cradled haphazardly between her ear and her shoulder, so she couldn’t do much when a hand snatched the phone from her grasp.

“I’m sorry,” Cat spoke into the mouthpiece, “But Miss Danvers will have to call you back.” Then Cat let the phone fall into the cradle, effectively ending the call.

“Wha- What are you-“ Kara was seriously flabbergasted by this sudden turn of events. Kara felt her stomach sink as she heard the headset hit the cradle on her desk with a deafening clack of the plastic. The sound drowned out all hope that things could still be salvaged. All of Kara's efforts for the last hour had been wasted. Kara felt the blood in her veins begin to churn, and boil, as frustration began to build.

Cat Grant suddenly started staring Kara down, and crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive posture. She looked at Kara as if she was trying to get her to break. “What are you doing? I was on hold with McMaster's office for _an_ _hour_ trying to get you that meeting and you just ruined…”

“Kara!” Cat looked nothing short of displeased as she slammed her hands against the edges of Kara’s desk and leant forwards, effectively encroaching on Kara’s personal space. Kara flinched away from the deafening bang, all-the-while wondering what she had done in order to earn Cat's ire.

Cat sighed in exasperation as she took in the pile of work in front of the blonde.

“What?!” Kara snapped back. Kara was furious now. She was actually _really_ _angry_ with her boss.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Last I checked, it was about 10:00… So it’s probably about 11:00 now,” Kara bit out, "Why does that _matter_?"

"Don't you dare sass me right now, Kara!" Cat threatened. "Because if I wanted sass, I could have just kept my last assistant." This seemed to strike a chord in Kara.

Cat cleared her throat, impatiently. " _Anyway_. What I was trying to get at before you so rudely answered me, is that it’s late."

"It's almost _tomorrow_ , in fact,” Cat informed her.

“Yeah? And your point is?” Kara asked her in genuine puzzlement. Why did the time matter all of the sudden?

“You’re working too much,” Cat told her. “You’re becoming _me_ , Kara, and as much as I’m flattered by your work ethic and your ongoing aspirations to be like me, you need to _stop_. You’re twenty-five years old. You need to have a life outside of work. You’ve got to stop using work as a means to avoid the things _outside of it_.”

“Who says that I…” Cat held up a hand, effectively ending Kara's protest.

“I got an interesting phone call this afternoon from a _certain someone_ ,” Cat told her. And Kara was suddenly at a complete loss. Her brows furrowed as she tried to puzzle out why on earth Cat would be telling her this. She couldn’t seem to follow Cat’s line of thought, until the older woman finally threw her a lifeline and said, “I once told you that I didn’t want to know about your personal life. I made it clear that _I didn’t care about_ what you do outside of work. But it doesn’t seem to matter if I want to know about it or not. _Your problems_ are still somehow becoming _my_ _problems_.”

“Cat, I can-“

“Explain?” Cat finished for her. "I'll admit, I'm genuinely curious. The truth is, I had no earthly idea that you finally gathered up the courage to ask her out. And something like that? It doesn't stay a secret for long."

Kara blanched almost instantly in horror. “Oh,” Kara swallowed. “Look, I don’t know what she told you, but I promise you that it’s not what you think!”

“Oh! So you didn’t _use_ _me_  in order to run away from your own personal problems?” Cat questioned her. Kara suddenly stuttered, her jaw working furiously as she struggled to come up with an adequate response.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Cat looked smug. “You know, when I asked you to come hire me a replacement, I was actually asking you to come help me hire a replacement,” Cat told her, “Not have you become my personal assistant.”

“Oh,” Kara breathed out dejectedly, feeling more forlorn than she had in a long time. Even Cat Grant didn't seem to want her anymore. “So you – you don’t want me to-”

“ _Stop_ ,” Cat ordered her. “Don't go and twist my words around!  You’re great at what you do, Kara. In fact, you’re the only assistant I’ve had that could ever do her job _worth_ a damn, but this? - this simply isn’t where you’re _meant to be_! National City needs you, Kara. It _depends_ on you, and right now you’re neglecting the people that need you.”

“What are you talking about?“ Kara began. “National City has plenty of reporters. They don’t really _need_ _me_.”

“Oh _please_ ,” Cat scoffs. “I know,” Cat tells her finally. “I _know_ your secret, Kara.”

“And just what is it that you know?” Kara asked Cat in a squeak of her voice - still not believing that Cat Grant knew the truth.

“Why don’t you tell me?” Cat said with a smug expression on her face, “ _Supergirl_.” And Kara suddenly felt everything stop. Her heart actually stopped at this newfound revelation. Cat knew. Cat fucking _knew_.

“What - Did you seriously think I didn't know? My girlfriend is the leader of the free world - a leader with all kinds of information available at her fingertips. So, I’ll say it again. You are the champion of earth, Kara. You can’t go neglecting your duties just because someone _hurt_ _you_.“

“Oh, Rao,” Kara said as she let her face drop into her hands.

“Look, I know that I made it seem like I don’t care,” Cat said, “I know that I’ve pretended not to care about you, Kara, but I think by now you know that _I do_. For better or for worse, you’ve become like a daughter to me over the years.” Kara swallowed, unable to speak or do anything really. Was Cat seriously admitting that she cared about Kara like a member of her family?

“So I will give you fifteen minutes of my time, in which I will offer you my free and unsolicited advice,” Cat spoke.

“Fifteen minutes?” Kara repeated.

“That’s more than a lot of people have gotten,” Cat shot back.

“Look,” Kara said as she pushed herself up. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m sure you’ve got plenty of more important things to do than listen to details of my personal life.”

“Sit down, Kara!” Cat’s commanding voice had a somewhat jarring and immediate response in Kara’s body. Kara is not ever going to admit that Supergirl was ever cowed by someone, but Cat got a reaction out of her before she could help it. And that reaction was to sit back down.

“I get it…” Cat spoke to her in the softest voice that Kara has ever heard from her. “You don’t want to do this right now. In fact, I’m sure you’d much rather avoid dealing with this for a long time to come. But you’ve got to address this, Kara. Those things you’re feeling are not going to get any better until you talk about them. They’re not going to go away until you acknowledge what it is that you’re really afraid of.” Cat let out a shallow breath. “Now, I heard Lena’s side of the story... Or, as much as I was able to successfully pry out from her over the phone. So…I’ll ask you this. Would you care to tell me yours?”

“Yes,” Kara breathed finally as she lifted her chin and met Cat’s gaze.

“And you’re fully aware that this means that you are going to have to tell me things? Things that I’m sure you’d rather not tell a living soul?” Cat questioned.

“Yes,” Kara swallowed. “I know it won’t be easy. But I trust you, Cat. I really do.”

“Good,” Cat smiled reassuringly, “Then I’m going to help you through this.”

“Wait, _now_?!” Kara gasped, as she realized Cat really was expecting to have this conversation immediately. “You really want to do this right now?”

“There’s no time like the present,” Cat told her. “And if you’re worried about being overheard, I’ll have you know that everyone else in this office went home hours ago.”

“Aren’t there cameras and recording devices in here?” Kara asked skeptically, as she looked around. "I mean...it's the White House, right? So I'm sure there are-"

“Do you really think I didn’t plan ahead?” Cat asked her incredulously, “I took care of it. And I promise you; I never would have brought up your secret identity if there were any chance somebody would hear it. Your words and _your secrets_ are safe with me, Kara. “ Then, “Now are you going to start talking or not? Time is a wasting, as they say.”

Kara let out a long, lingering sigh, fruitlessly attempting to steel herself before she spilled her guts to her boss and mentor. Then Kara raked in a deep breath, and opened her mouth. The first several words were difficult - nigh impossible - to get out. But once the words started flowing, it got easier and easier for them to come. She told Cat everything, from saving Mon-El and Lena on the alien ship, to Mon-El’s sudden departure following the Daxamite invasion, to Jeremiah’s death at the hands of Lena’s mother. Then finally, she spoke of the long healing process she’d started, and the budding romance that sparked to life between her and Lena during the last couple of months. She spoke of the love she felt for her girlfriend, and how she felt they were kindred spirits that had found each other against all odds. Then, finally, she spoke of their last day together. She spoke of the threats that were made against her, and the feeling of torment she’d experienced upon learning that Lena planned to cut her out of her life for her own safety. She spilled her deepest feelings and secrets to her boss, telling Cat of her darkest emotions, and her reasons for leaving National City. It wound up taking a lot longer than fifteen minutes, but Cat didn’t seem to care. She actually sat down at one point, and leant inwards, showing Kara that she was receptive to everything that she was saying. When Kara finally finished, there was a long silence that built between them, before Cat Grant finally spoke.

“Wow,” Cat breathed. “So that’s a lot more complicated than Lena made it sound on the phone. But it all fairness it would have been impossible for her to explain _everything_.”

“Yeah,” Kara nodded.

“Out of everything you just told me, there’s one thing that really stuck out to me, Kara,” Cat told her. “In fact, it's abundantly clear. You haven’t _allowed_ _yourself_ to properly grieve.”

“What?” Kara was alarmed.

"When you lost Mon-El, it was sudden and devastating," Cat breathed calmly. "You made a sacrifice for the good of all humanity, but that in _no way_ lessens the pain of that loss. In fact, I'm pretty sure that having to be the one to _make that choice_ makes the pain of that night all the _worse_." Cat sighed. "But you never let yourself really feel the pain of that loss did you. You just...shut down. You compartmentalized all of that pain, and anger, and sorrow. You packaged it in a neat little box, and pushed it into a dark, little corner of your mind. You ignored it and pretended that it wasn't there. And all the while the wound rotted and festered." Kara swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat. 

“You’ve thrown yourself from one relationship, and right into another,” Cat told her. “You rely on others to try and heal you, but no one _can_ fix you. Because one thing you have yet to realize, is that it _has to be you_ that does the healing.”

“What are you…”

“You’re so scared of being alone, Kara,” Cat told her. “Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why that is?”

“Because I lost my world and my family, I…”

“No,” Cat interrupted, shaking her head. “ _No_ , Kara. Look, I'm not saying that the loss of your planet doesn't factor into this somehow, because I'm sure it does. But that's not exactly the answer I'm looking for."

"You're scared to be alone, because you do not really know _how_ to love yourself. You've gotten so used to defining yourself based on how other people see you, as opposed to what you see in yourself. It's something we all do. We all draw our feelings of self-worth from the things we are told make us worthy of the love we are given. The truth is, you prefer to spend all your time as Supergirl, because you can use _her_ _strength_ in order to hide from the things you feel as Kara Danvers.” Kara was stunned momentarily silent. “You have to find yourself, Kara. You have to find your own identity, independently of the people in your life. But most importantly, you have to _allow_ _yourself_ time to heal, before you try and involve yourself in a serious relationship. Yes, it’s okay to want love and support. It’s okay to lean on those that you care about in times like this. But it’s _not okay_ to do what you’ve been trying to do.”

“I…I don’t understand,” Kara replied, “What is it that I’m doing wrong? What is it that I’m meant to do?”

“You can’t _make_ _someone_ love you,” Cat replied. “You have to let them make that choice themselves. What happened with Lena is awful, and I can’t imagine how much it must have hurt. But ultimately, _it's_   _her choice_. She needs to do what she feels is necessary to protect you, and you have to let her do what she thinks is right.” Cat cleared her throat. “Maybe in time her feelings will change, but right now she needs you to support her decision. Just be her _friend_ , Kara.” Kara closed her eyes as she realized Cat was right. “And use this time that you’ve been given…use this time to _find a way_ to love yourself again. Focus on what has been broken and fix it. Trust me. You’ll thank yourself for it later, when Lena is finally  _ready_ to start something with you. Be the hero you’re meant to be, but also allow yourself to be the girl whose whole world has been lost. _Find_ _yourself, Kara Danvers._ ”

"Even if it means going back to National City?" Kara asked.

"Especially if it means going back to National City," Cat Grant.

"Golly," Kara laughed, "From the sound of it, it sounds like you can't wait to be rid of me."

"Oh, Kara," Cat shook her head. "If only you knew how much I was going to miss you..." Then Cat shocked her. She moved around the desk and pulled Kara into her arms, enveloping her in a crushing hug.

* * *

 

Three days later…

“Good job, Supergirl,” Alex told her with a gentle clap to the blonde’s shoulder.

And Kara felt at peace for the first time in weeks. Kara’s eyes fluttered closed, as she let herself enjoy the quiet. Her control was back, and she felt focused in a way she hadn’t felt in weeks. She could feel the warm rays of the California sun across her face, and the hot breeze coming off of the nearby Ocean. Kara’s eyelids fluttered back open.

Heat was diffusing from the dark pavement into the air around her body, bending the beams of light before they reached her gaze. A haze lingered over the city, as the sun beat down on them all. But Kara enjoyed the heat rather than feeling oppressed by it all. The sun's rays felt good on her skin.

“We’ll get him back to the DEO,” Alex told her, “You should rest. I’m sure that fight took a lot out of you.”

“I actually feel _really_   _good_ ,” Kara responded. And she did. Sure, she was sore. But it was a good kind of a sore. A kind of sore that came in having a fight, and a purpose again. Cat’s words and advice had done wonders. The more Kara thought about it, the more she realized how right she was. She wasn’t being fair. The choice was Lena’s, and Kara needed to respect that. There were plenty of things for Kara to worry about in the mean time – like doing some all-important self-searching.

Sweat pooled at the base of her back and slowly slipped down, causing a shudder to shoot up her spine. It was hot, humid, and Kara felt suddenly as if she were suffocating just a little bit. It was a stark contrast to the recent weather she’d enjoyed in the Nation’s Capital. She took in a deep breath in through her mouth, hoping to avoid the smell of a baking city, and stood. She stole another quick glance at Alex before taking a few steps away from the body of the subdued alien. With a sigh, she wiped the sweat away from her brow using the back of her sleeve, and blinked away the sweat from her eyes that was currently stinging them. She looked around.

“So,” Alex’s voice was cautious, as she walked up behind Kara. “Have you told Lena that you are back, yet?”

“No,” Kara shook her head. “Not yet. I planned on stopping by her office today, but I’m not so sure it’s a good idea.”

“She misses you, Kar,” Alex told her. “Look, I know it’s not my place, but-“

“No,” Kara shook her head, “No, _it is_ your place to say something. The truth is, I haven’t exactly been fair to you lately. Either of you.”

“What?” Alex looked stunned, as Kara turned and met her eyes.

“I – I owe you an apology, Alex,” Kara told her.

“For what?”

“For shutting you out,” Kara told her honestly, “For pushing you away when all you were doing was try to help me. I know you’ve missed me… _Kara_ , me, and I’m sorry. It was just so much easier to rid myself of those parts of me, than address them. It was easier not to acknowledge the things I’d been feeling at all.”

“Kar-“

“I’m going to try to be better from now on,” Kara promised. “I promise I’m going to fix what’s been broken.”

“There’s nothing to fix,” Alex told her, but she sounded relieved and comforted as Kara tugged her in for an embrace and wrapped her arms around Alex in a steadying hold.

“We should get some dinner,” Kara told her, “and catch up. You should bring Maggie.” Then. “What do you say?”

“Yes,” Alex breathed against her, as she gave Kara a squeeze back. “I - _We’d_ love to.”

“Good,” Kara smiled as she pulled away. “You should probably get going,” Kara told her as she noticed the alien move just a tiny bit.

“Yeah,” Alex laughed, “We probably should. Who knows how much longer sleeping beauty will be out.”

“Alright. Well, you know where to find me,” Kara told her with a sparkling blue gaze. Alex would later swear that she hadn’t seen Kara’s eyes look that bright in eons.

Kara walked in a small circle, lifting her arms above her head in order to stretch out the sore muscles in her back. Her legs were also cramped from crouching for an extended period, and she wanted to stretch out the uncomfortable kinks, and their stiffness. It was a typical day in late October; only, it was extremely hot for the time of year. The sky above them was a radiant sapphire blue, with only a few clouds dotting the horizon. It was a beautiful day - the sort of day that would be a perfect day for the ocean. Kara momentarily toyed with the idea of flying out over the water. She thought briefly of Big Sur; of feeling the warm sand between her toes, and the soft sound of waves crashing on the beach. She raked in a large breath. And in her mind she could practically smell the salty tang of the ocean wafting around her, and the warm tempestuous breeze gathering her cape around her. She sighed wistfully. It would be absolutely wonderful to take a long weekend and do absolutely nothing but enjoy the sun and the water. The truth was, she had been contemplating asking Lena to join her for a little weekend getaway before everything all imploded. And it seemed that, at least for the time being, that life had other plans. Alex had said that Lena was working harder than ever. And in all truth and honesty? So was _she_.

“Supergirl!” a reporter called out from behind the police barricade. “Supergirl, where have you been? Does this mean that you’ve returned to National City?” Another reporter shouted out. “How is National City supposed to trust you after you just abandoned them? Tell me! Just where have you been for the last month and a half, Supergirl?”

Kara let out a sigh. She was tempted to just leap into the sky, and not look back. But she owed the people of this city some answers, and she needed to be held accountable for her actions. Kara steeled her shoulders, and walked towards the growing crowd. It was time to take responsibility for herself and her recent brash actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be Supercorp heavy, so be ready for some good ole' angst. :)
> 
> If you have a sec, shoot me a comment and give me some feedback!
> 
> Thanks for all of your ongoing love and support! I love you guys!


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